Thank you notes: check.
I put the thank you notes from Christmas in the mail today. This is probably a record for me. Usually it takes at least a month if it gets done at all. My Trello to-do list still has "Send Thank you Notes Christmas 2013" on it. For that matter, it also still has "Send Amber 7th B-day thankyous" and "Send Amber 6th B-day thankyous" on it. Peter had a no-presents party for his 9th birthday, his 8th notes were never sent, and his 7th b-day notes went home in the goodie bags of the guests at his 8th birthday party.
I feel guilt for being so bad at this. I can analyze myself and say that I'm bad at it because I want to do a good job -- I want to not just thank the thing, but say how it was used and how much it was enjoyed, which takes a little playing with it first. But then if they don't get done within a month, then I feel bad for not having sent them yet, and it's a downward spiral. Negative feelings of tardiness lead to avoidance, and more negative feelings. I also hate looking up addresses. I don't know why. The ones I have in my address book aren't really a problem, but the ones from the kids' school where I only have the address from the school roster intimidate me. What if they've moved? What if the address has a typo? This shouldn't be as intimidating as it is.
I do feel so thankful for all the things we have in our lives. Every time I bring out the juicer that Prof. Keller gave Jon and I when we got married, for example, I think about him and how lucky I was to have a good college education and how nice it is to have a juicer and space to store it even though I only use it once a year. (I did get the wedding thank-yous done on the honeymoon, btw.) Every time I use the fuzzy red blanket my in-laws gave me, I feel thankful for it. That one I never sent a thank you because our two families agreed long ago that if gifts were exchanged in-person and thanked in-person, no further thanks was necessary, so I don't feel guilty about that one at least.
I think part of my problem too is that I'm a procrastinator. As the procrastination poster says, "Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now."[1] There is seldom a deadline for sending thank-you notes, get-well-soon cards, birthday, or sympathy cards. It's never the most important thing to do TODAY, and we've discovered that there is a bad family dynamic if I stay up too late to get things done. These things frequently never get done either.
This is one of my tragic flaws, but I am trying to recognize it and get better.
--Beth
[1] There is a very funny story about that poster. I bought it for my dad for Christmas one year in mid-December. I intended to get it framed, but didn't make it to the framer in enough time before Christmas, so I decided to give it to him the following year instead. The following year, I did eventually go to the framer a few days before Christmas, but they couldn't complete the job in time. Eventually I ended up giving it to him, framed, in mid-January.
I feel guilt for being so bad at this. I can analyze myself and say that I'm bad at it because I want to do a good job -- I want to not just thank the thing, but say how it was used and how much it was enjoyed, which takes a little playing with it first. But then if they don't get done within a month, then I feel bad for not having sent them yet, and it's a downward spiral. Negative feelings of tardiness lead to avoidance, and more negative feelings. I also hate looking up addresses. I don't know why. The ones I have in my address book aren't really a problem, but the ones from the kids' school where I only have the address from the school roster intimidate me. What if they've moved? What if the address has a typo? This shouldn't be as intimidating as it is.
I do feel so thankful for all the things we have in our lives. Every time I bring out the juicer that Prof. Keller gave Jon and I when we got married, for example, I think about him and how lucky I was to have a good college education and how nice it is to have a juicer and space to store it even though I only use it once a year. (I did get the wedding thank-yous done on the honeymoon, btw.) Every time I use the fuzzy red blanket my in-laws gave me, I feel thankful for it. That one I never sent a thank you because our two families agreed long ago that if gifts were exchanged in-person and thanked in-person, no further thanks was necessary, so I don't feel guilty about that one at least.
I think part of my problem too is that I'm a procrastinator. As the procrastination poster says, "Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now."[1] There is seldom a deadline for sending thank-you notes, get-well-soon cards, birthday, or sympathy cards. It's never the most important thing to do TODAY, and we've discovered that there is a bad family dynamic if I stay up too late to get things done. These things frequently never get done either.
This is one of my tragic flaws, but I am trying to recognize it and get better.
--Beth
[1] There is a very funny story about that poster. I bought it for my dad for Christmas one year in mid-December. I intended to get it framed, but didn't make it to the framer in enough time before Christmas, so I decided to give it to him the following year instead. The following year, I did eventually go to the framer a few days before Christmas, but they couldn't complete the job in time. Eventually I ended up giving it to him, framed, in mid-January.