ah only a retard like me
so i went skiing the other day..............turns out it's been a while.
i used to ski all the time in highschool. i went to quebec in grade 11 and went skiing on ginormous hills, which was wicked. i was pretty damn good too. i knew it had been a while but i figured it wouldn't take long before i was amazing again. well, i'm a shit head for thinking that. i mean i had a lot of fun, and i didn't do too badly, but man the next day.........i couldn't move my body.
pretty much everything below my tits hurt. the hurtings gone now so all is well again. when i got home from skiing that night, i did something pretty stupid.
i dropped my cell phone on the driveway as i was walking to my car, and i didn't notice. that night it snowed like a son of a bitch. the next morning i couldn't figure out where it was. it wasn't at phil's, it wasn't in my car, and it wasn't at home. i was so confused. that is until i went outside and heard a beep from the lawn. turns out my dad used the snowblower early in the morning and my cell phone was now burried somewhere on the front lawn. that and i had a missed call. i felt like a pretty big retard when i figured out what happened, but i assumed it was broken and went on with life. a couple days later i told my friend kaitlyn about my poor burried cell phone. she suggested that i dig it out and take it to the store and tell them that it just broke for no reason. as evil as that is, i thought why the heck not. i knew it was a long shot, but i took the cordless outside and called my phone. IT RANG! so i dug it out (it was pretty far down there), which must have looked wonderful to all the neighbors. turns out it wasn't broken at all. in fact it wasn't even slightly harmed. i brushed the snow off the front, opened it, and it wasn't even wet inside. the only thing even remotely strange about it was that i had 27 missed calls. so apparently cell phones are made specifically for retards like me that put them through super weird shit. well that's my story, i'm going to make a monkey sandwich.
i used to ski all the time in highschool. i went to quebec in grade 11 and went skiing on ginormous hills, which was wicked. i was pretty damn good too. i knew it had been a while but i figured it wouldn't take long before i was amazing again. well, i'm a shit head for thinking that. i mean i had a lot of fun, and i didn't do too badly, but man the next day.........i couldn't move my body.
pretty much everything below my tits hurt. the hurtings gone now so all is well again. when i got home from skiing that night, i did something pretty stupid.
i dropped my cell phone on the driveway as i was walking to my car, and i didn't notice. that night it snowed like a son of a bitch. the next morning i couldn't figure out where it was. it wasn't at phil's, it wasn't in my car, and it wasn't at home. i was so confused. that is until i went outside and heard a beep from the lawn. turns out my dad used the snowblower early in the morning and my cell phone was now burried somewhere on the front lawn. that and i had a missed call. i felt like a pretty big retard when i figured out what happened, but i assumed it was broken and went on with life. a couple days later i told my friend kaitlyn about my poor burried cell phone. she suggested that i dig it out and take it to the store and tell them that it just broke for no reason. as evil as that is, i thought why the heck not. i knew it was a long shot, but i took the cordless outside and called my phone. IT RANG! so i dug it out (it was pretty far down there), which must have looked wonderful to all the neighbors. turns out it wasn't broken at all. in fact it wasn't even slightly harmed. i brushed the snow off the front, opened it, and it wasn't even wet inside. the only thing even remotely strange about it was that i had 27 missed calls. so apparently cell phones are made specifically for retards like me that put them through super weird shit. well that's my story, i'm going to make a monkey sandwich.