The Marketplace

[beth4275]

I'm reading the Marketplace ... its a really good book.  C suggested I read it and so far I've found it very interesting.  The writing is pretty good and I've found some things to learn from it.  I read about the characters and I can really identify with different things in each character.  I am finding myself in some of the actions and seeing just

Comments

[serijules]

Ma'am has ordered me to read them, and I have mixed feelings. I like a lot of it and really relate to some of the characters, but just as much as I relate to some of them, I DESPISE traits in others, like Sharon. So it's a love/hate relationship. I'm with you though, it really makes me think of a lot and nervous about some things. Especially the lack of "love" displayed...I have a hard time with that and fear that as a constant thing. I don't think I could handle that and sometimes I wonder if that makes me less "property" because I NEED that show of love and affection and appreciation.

I look forward to discussing them with you if you want to :)

[beth4275]

Would love to discuss them with you ... I can kinda of understand Sharon a bit ... she wants it but on her terms ... been there done that. Hopefully, I've moved beyond that ... I found it interesting in the book where they said that sometimes you need to know what is at stake in order to move forward. I can kinda see that being necessary at times ... its like when you reach the bottom you only have one direction to go.

In any case, would love to discuss them with you ..

hugs,

[serijules]

Awesome :) Forces me to think about them more too and have more to discuss with Ma'am.

I think why Sharon bothers me so much is because she is so mean. I really can't stand meanness like that. She reminds me of a lot of the people out there on the internet that are so quick to judge what is and is not a slave or a sub, but seem to have very little concept of submission themselves.

I relate to Claudia the most in the sense that I strive so deeply to please my Ma'am, yet sometimes I don't even SEE the most simple ways to do that. I think she wants perfection and beat myself up when I'm not perfect, in the process cheating her of where my focus should be. I see a lot of that in Claudia.

What things did you think you would like and which make you nervous?

[beth4275]

Not sure who I really identify with the most ... maybe Robert in that he wants to do everything right but can't seem to get it right when being watched ... just gets so nervous that he screws up and then gets really upset with himself. I can be that way at times. I want to do everything perfectly but if I'm being watched I just screw it up because I don't want to disappoint even though I know that C is not that exacting. Hard to explain .. .maybe its sorta like what you go through wanting to be perfect ... not sure. I know I'm not perfect ... god knows I'm not ... I do the dumbest things and never really have a reason as to why ... although usually at the time it makes sense but once its done I end up beating myself up for it over and over ...