[audio]

[pieceofourleg]

Um. This is Daniel Jackson and... ah, I have a bit of a problem.

Some of the books are missing. The, uh, magic ones. The ones that-- [throat clearing] um, do things to you. If--If you see any strange books don't touch them. I'll, uh, work on a way to collect them. Just... be careful everyone.

Comments

[goldn_boy]

Oh god not again.

[Locked]

Which ones?

[pieceofourleg]

I don't understand how this could have happened.

...

[locked]

The... The bondage ones. These other ones that force you into whatever sin the city has for you. I think--I think a couple summoning books are gone too. That's how I, uh, got Jack.

[still locked]

[goldn_boy]

I'll keep an eye out, Daniel.

[imfinemulder]

Do things?

[pieceofourleg]

[Throat clearing action] They--They usually tie you up or force you to fulfill some sort of sinful task. They really... Just don't touch them.

[imfinemulder]

[You're going to get a beat of silence for that.]

Okay, thank you.

[waxwingedflight]

...again?

[pieceofourleg]

Look. I know what you're going to say and this isn't my fault.

[waxwingedflight]

Oh of course it isn't your fault, Dr. Jackson. It never is.

[pieceofourleg]

...What's that supposed to mean?

[torchwoodteaboy]

Just...what kind of books are these?

[pieceofourleg]

Ah. Okay. Um. It's a little hard to explain but--

If you just touch one of them a spell will be cast on you. Most of the books are the, uh, "Bondage Books" they... tie you up in a compromising position and--uh, won't let you go until certain parameters are met. It's different with each book. Uh, the last one that I--[ahem]-- came in contact with wouldn't release me until I... uhhh a-a threesome.

[capj_harkness]

... seriously?

[pieceofourleg]

This isn't exactly the kind of thing I'd make up. And despite what you're thinking they are dangerous. You can't always tell what affect a book will have you could end up tied up or you could accidentally summon some horrible creature from another universe.... or both.

[polarisation]

... You're kidding.

[pieceofourleg]

I wish I was. Please stay inside....

[polarisation]

[ Mnnrrrr... ] Can't they show up inside, too?

[pieceofourleg]

...right. Just be careful. I don't want anyone getting hurt.