Painful Silence - Chapter 3
Title : Painful Silence
Chapter: 3/5
Chapter Rating : G
Overall Rating: PG-13
Word Count : ~4,500
Characters : Albus/Scorpius
Disclaimer : Just playing... I'll give them back to JKR when I'm done!
Summary : Al's always been a bit shy, but he's never been afraid to talk to people. That is, he wasn't until Scorpius showed up. Now Al wonders if he'll ever be able to speak again.
Authors Note : It took a month to get this little bit down, but I'm rather pleased with it. :) HUGE thank you's go out to my wonderful beta shina_laris who did an amazing and super fast job on this. I owe you! :)
Chapter One - Chapter Two
"Lumos!" A bright light burst from the end of Al's wand, and Professor Flitwick clapped delightedly.
"Wonderful job, Mr. Potter! I knew you could do it!" He hopped off the pile of books he had been standing on and rushed over to his desk. He scribbled down a note on a piece of parchment and handed it to Al. "You've passed your exam with flying colours. All you have to do now is take this to Headmistress Sinistra."
"Thank you," Al murmured gratefully. It had taken almost an entire year to get to this point, but he had finally finished his last exam. He gathered up his books, quill, and ink, and waved goodbye to Professor Flitwick as he exited the classroom. Scorpius was waiting for him outside of the room.
"Well?"
Al grinned. "I passed!"
Scorpius let out a whoop and Al laughed as his friend grabbed his hands and spun him around. "You did it! You finally did it!"
In a way, it was as much Scorpius's achievement as it was Al's. After Al received his diagnosis, Scorpius had pushed him to talk more often with more people. Al's therapy had begun soon after his first meeting with Healer Summers and was still ongoing. At first, various family members had been brought in to talk to Al and to get him to open up to the healer. Once Al was able to speak comfortably with Healer Summers, other people had been brought in.
That was when the therapy had stalled. Even in front of old family friends like Hagrid, Al hadn't been able to speak comfortably. After months of pushing Al to talk to anyone and everyone, Healer Summers had admitted he was at a dead end.
Then Scorpius stepped up. He had followed Al around the school for two and a half weeks after Rose told him what was happening at Al's therapy sessions. Every time Al met someone in the halls or bumped into someone down a library aisle, Scorpius would introduce himself and Al and then force Al to respond to the other person with a handshake or a smile.
When Al got to the point where he could say "Hello" to James's friends without any trouble, Scorpius snuck some Chocolate Frogs and butterbeer into the dorm from Hogsmeade for a celebration. Healer Summers had been delighted to learn about Al's breakthrough, and had Scorpius attend every one of Al's therapy sessions from then on.
With his friend there to support him, Al found it much easier to open up to those around him. Scorpius never judged him. He was content to sit there and listen to Al talk to people or to read a book while Al conversed with someone else. Gradually Scorpius was moved farther and farther from Al's side until finally Al could talk to almost everyone without his best mate for support.
Not that Al was cured. He still had horrible panic attacks at the thought of trying to talk to strangers. Taking exams or performing spells in front of others also freaked him out. However, Scorpius always seemed to be there when Al needed him. While Al took his end of the year exams, Scorpius sat outside each room waiting for him. As Al still could not speak in groups, his professors gave him private exams. Knowing that Scorpius was right outside the door had made all the difference in the world for Al, letting him focus on the exam and giving him the strength to mutter the proper spells.
Al had never imagined he would meet such an amazing person when he first got on the train to Hogwarts. Now he was not sure how he would get through a summer without Scorpius.
~*~
Standing on the platform, Al kissed his mother goodbye, hugged his father, and raced onto the train. He was not late, but he needed to get on quickly. Al ran down the train, peering into each compartment until he found one with a blonde-haired person in it.
"Hi, Scor…" His voice trailed off as he realised the person he was talking to was not his friend. There were three girls inside the compartment he had just burst into.
One girl smiled, and her grin caused the corners of her grey eyes to crinkle. She was the blonde he had seen through the compartment window. “Hi, Al. I think Scorpius is a few more compartments down that way,” she said, gesturing down the hall.
Al smiled back and tried to speak, but the words refused to come out. He focused on the girl next to her, a coping method he had learned in therapy, and said, “Thanks. Sorry for barging in on you.” He backed out of the room and practically slammed the door. His heart was racing in his chest.
Why hadn’t he been able to talk to that girl? Who was she? Why did she know Al’s name?
Feeling more than a little confused, Al made his way down the train, carefully checking each compartment for Scorpius. He was not about to make the same mistake twice.
When he finally found Scorpius, Al flew through the door of the compartment. "Scorpius!" He wanted to give him a hug, but Bole was in the compartment for some reason, so Al settled for sitting next to him and squeezing up alongside him.
Scorpius smiled good-naturedly. "Hey, Al. A little personal space please?"
Al pouted, but scooted over so that there was a little bit of space between them.
"What kinda poofter are you, telling your boyfriend to move? Aren't you fairies supposed to be like girls and act all clingy?" Bole's voice wasn't as spiteful as normal, as if he was actually curious.
Scorpius just rolled his eyes. Al replied, revelling in the fact that he had reached the point where he could even talk to Bole. "One, we aren't boyfriends, two, we aren't queer, and three, even if we were gay and together, we are still men. Why would we act like girls?"
Bole raised an eyebrow in his direction. "You could have fooled me. I've never seen boys lying on top of other boys like you two do." He sneered. "All that cuddling, fluffy stuff is way too queer for me." He turned towards Scorpius. "Listen, Malfoy, think about what I said. I'm outta here. The gayness might be catching."
He left before Scorpius could respond.
"What was that all about?" Al wondered aloud.
Scorpius shrugged. "Nothing. He was just being an arse."
Bole was always an arse. This didn't sound like his usual rudeness, but Al let it go. His was far too busy worrying about what had happened to him earlier. "Do you know the name of a blonde girl with grey eyes?" He thought back to what the girl had looked like. "I think she might be a Hufflepuff." She hadn't had her school robes on yet, but Al was almost positive she had been wearing a black and yellow clip in her hair.
Scorpius thought for a moment. "There are a number of Hufflepuff girls who fit that description. Lucinda is going to be a seventh year this term and she has blonde hair. I don’t know what colour her eyes are. Jane and Mary are in sixth year, Topaz is a fourth year like us, and Sarah and Katie are third years. I think Topaz and Katie are the only ones with lighter coloured eyes, but I can't remember the colours exactly."
Al laughed. "Wow, I will never be able to remember people like you. Why do you know so many people?"
"I like knowing people. It's important to keep tabs on both your friends and your enemies." Scorpius stood then and stretched for a moment before rummaging around in his things. "Do you want a liquorice wand?" he asked as he pulled out a handful.
"No, that's alright." Al shook his head. "Tell me more about the girls you named. You said Topaz and Katie have grey eyes?"
Scorpius laughed and bit off the tip of one wand. "I hope they both don't have grey eyes. They are incredibly rare after all, and I enjoy being a peculiarity."
That was right; Scorpius had grey eyes too. Al felt silly for not having realised it earlier, but he shrugged off his discomfort. After all, what kind of bloke thinks about his male friends’ eye colours? "You don't know then?"
"Nope. Can you tell me anything else about the girl?"
Al thought back to the other girls in the compartment. "I think she's friends with two other Hufflepuff girls." One girl had been wearing her uniform with a black and yellow crest prominently displayed on one side. The other girl had on a beaded yellow bracelet. Then he remembered the girl he had focused on for a moment slightly more clearly. "Oh! And one girl is black."
Scorpius nibbled on the end of a wand, but didn't bite down. "It's probably Topaz then. She's good friends with Marta Thomas and Belinda Firth, two Hufflepuffs."
"She's in our year?"
"Yes. You need to learn to recognise your year-mates, Al."
Al sighed. "I know. It's just that I spent years not being able to talk to them. And now everyone seems to have sorted themselves into groups. There's no room for me."
Scorpius reached over and ruffled Al's hair. "You can make friends, you just have to be pleasant and talk to them."
"But--"
"I know that's hard for you, but it's not impossible. And the best way to make a friend is to be a friend," Scorpius said.
Al watched Scorpius nibble on his liquorice for a moment and then nodded. "All right, I'll try. The first person I'm going to get to know is Topaz."
Scorpius bit the end of the wand and then looked at Al. "Why?" he asked after he swallowed his mouthful.
"I couldn't talk to her today," Al said with a frown. "For some reason I couldn't get my voice to work. I haven't regressed like that in months."
Scorpius raised an eyebrow. "And you want to start becoming more outgoing by making friends with a girl you can't talk to."
"Hey! It's not as stupid as it sounds!" Al protested.
"If you say so," Scorpius said. He returned to his candy.
Al grinned. "Besides, she's really cute."
Scorpius must have swallowed a bite of liquorice wrong because he started coughing.
"Scorpius? Are you all right?" Al reached out and pounded on Scorpius's back.
Scorpius nodded and gasped for air. "Just choked a bit. I think I took too big of a bite." He smiled wanly, but his eyes were wet. Had he choked hard enough to tear up?
"Are you sure you're okay?" Al rubbed his hand over Scorpius's back, trying to calm him.
Scorpius's smile grew larger, but the tears in his eyes started to fall down his face. He laughed loudly. "I'm fine, really. I do this all the time. I should stop eating these things." He put the liquorice wands away and settled into his seat with a book. Al doubted that Scorpius had told him the truth, but he just grabbed a book of his own to read on the long trip.
The rest of the train ride was silent, but neither boy minded. It was normal for them to spend hours together without either of them speaking. The silence was comfortable.
When they disembarked at the Hogsmeade station, kids from every year and house greeted Scorpius. It never failed to surprise Al that Scorpius was so popular. He understood the concept of popularity, but Al still felt the most comfortable around his family and Scorpius. Seeing Scorpius talking to so many people reminded Al that he would probably never get to that point.
Al shrugged off his morose thoughts and edged over to the waiting carriages. He waved at Hagrid and pulled on one of Lily's braids as she ran by with her friends. She stuck her tongue out at him and clambered into a horseless carriage. Rose passed by Al next, a book in one hand.
"Oi, Rose, how's Hugo?"
Rose sighed and rolled her eyes. "He's about as bad as you were. He's completely freaked out that he'll end up in Hufflepuff."
Al laughed. "Hufflepuff isn't a bad house." Topaz was in Hufflepuff. She seemed very nice. "Did you tell him no one in the family would care if he was sorted somewhere besides Gryffindor?"
"Yes, and he didn't believe me!" Rose huffed. "That boy drives me crazy. Thankfully, Hagrid is still taking them across. He'll bug the man to death for stories about magical creatures. By the time he gets to the castle he won't even remember he was worried."
"Rose! Come grab a carriage with us!" a tall girl in Gryffindor robes called.
Rose started. "Oh! I have to go. I'll talk to you later."
"Bye!" Al called after his cousin. He glanced back at Scorpius and found that he was still talking. Giving up, Al wandered over to the last carriage. He waved his hand softly in front of him until it came in contact with something he couldn't see. He moved his hand to the invisible creature's back and then ran it up to its head.
"How are you?" he asked, wishing he could see the animal with his own eyes. At the same time, he was glad he wasn't able to see the Thestrals. Witnessing death wasn't exactly on his to do list. His father and Aunt Luna had told him about them, and Hagrid had introduced them to him a couple of years ago. Ever since, Al had made it a point to visit the one who pulled his carriage.
After all, it wasn't their fault that they couldn't be seen.
"You're petting it again?" Scorpius asked as he walked up next to Al.
"Yeah," Al said, "I like to give them a little attention. It must get lonely when no one can see you, and they don't pay attention to you."
Scorpius held out his hand. "Show me where it is?"
"Just put your hand on top of mine." Scorpius placed his hand over Al's. It was warm and dry, but Al shivered for some reason. "Now, slowly move your fingers off my hand."
Scorpius hand slipped off his and onto the Thestral. "It feels a bit like fuzzy leather. Weird." Scorpius seemed amazed at this and rubbed the same spot repeatedly. The Thestral jerked beneath their hands, and Scorpius snatched his hand back.
Al laughed. "It's alive, so it moves. It only makes sense."
Scorpius glared at him. "Fine. Make fun of me." Then he smiled to let Al know he was joking. "Come on. Let's get into the carriage; I think they are getting ready to leave."
Al nodded, and they climbed into the carriage. It was time to go back to Hogwarts for another year. Al hoped it would be a good one.
~*~
The year was going by quickly. Al started to get a little upset with himself when Halloween arrived and he still had not talked to Topaz.
His first chance to speak to her came just after Halloween when they were partnered up in Herbology for a project.
“Hi, Al. I’m glad I get to work with you. Do you know what you would like to do for the project yet?” Topaz’s smile was overwhelming.
Al tucked his chin into his chest and began contemplating the floor. It was just a plain wooden floor. There was a little bit of dirt on it from the last class. Merlin, he was pitiful. It was silly to examine the floor. Why couldn’t he just force himself to talk to Topaz?
“Did you hear me?” Topaz waited a moment for him to speak. “Are you all right?”
Al wished he could sink into the floor. It was so embarrassing to look idiotic in front of a cute girl.
Scorpius intervened from nearby. “Don’t worry about Al too much. Sometimes he still has trouble getting the words out.”
Al knew Scorpius was trying to help, but now he really looked like an imbecile. He doubted any other bloke in Hogwarts had to have his friend help him talk to a girl.
Topaz didn’t seem to think he was stupid though. She simply reached out and patted his hand. “That’s okay. We’ll work on it, and I bet I can help him talk.”
Scorpius sniffed at her. “Al can talk. He just doesn’t communicate well. There’s a big difference.”
Why was Scorpius being so combative? Normally he got along with everyone. Al looked up from the floor and found Scorpius and Topaz glaring at each other. He gulped. “Let’s start,” he managed to murmur. Focusing on his textbook instead of Topaz, he began speaking haltingly. “I would like to grow this plant.”
Topaz moved close to him. Placing one hand on his shoulder, she leaned over to look at the page he pointed to. “That one looks like fun!” she said brightly.
Al looked at her and smiled. She grinned back at him. Then Al glanced over Scorpius. He had never seen Scorpius look so upset. He wanted to ask what was wrong but was distracted when Topaz began to babble on about the plant he had picked. Scorpius turned away, and Al felt like Scorpius had snubbed him. He tried to shrug off the feeling and turned back to Topaz. He couldn’t wait till he could talk to her properly.
~*~
"Oi! Al! Over here!" Topaz waved madly at Al from the Hufflepuff table. "Come and eat with us!"
Al glanced at Scorpius. "You want to come?"
Scorpius smiled and shook his head. "Nah, that's okay. I think I'll eat lunch with the other Slytherins today."
Al frowned. "Okay. Come on over if you change your mind."
Scorpius nodded. "Will do."
Al turned and headed towards the Hufflepuffs' table. "Hey," he said as he sat.
Topaz grinned at him. "What have you been up to? We haven't seen much of you lately."
Al shrugged and his gaze fell to the plate in front of him. "Been busy." He felt like kicking himself. He had been working on becoming friends with Topaz and her group for almost three months, and he still couldn't manage to speak to her properly.
Luckily, she had taken it upon herself to help Al get over his speaking problems. "Look at me, please."
It was easier to obey an order than it was to force himself to do something. He looked up at her and felt his stomach turn over. Her grey eyes were twinkling--Al loved it when they did because it meant she was happy.
"Good! Now tell me what's been keeping you busy."
The other students at the table ignored their stilted conversation, and Al slowly spoke about his studies and a project he was working on for Potions. Topaz listened intently, reaching out and touch Al's hand when his gaze fell away from her.
When her hand touched his and stayed there, Al's stomach began flip-flopping. He looked up at her and straight into her eyes. His tongue stopped working immediately.
"What else, Al?" Topaz asked softly.
Al knew what his feelings meant. Topaz was beautiful, kind, and lovely. She was everything Al had ever thought a girl should be. He liked her, a lot. "I-I, will you, I…"
Topaz squeezed his hand. "What?"
Al took a deep breath and closed his eyes, focusing on his words instead of the girl in front of him. "Will you g-go out with me?"
There was a small gasp behind them. Al's eyes flew open to see Scorpius standing there, looking shocked. "I was just going to come eat with you, but I just remembered I need to talk to someone." His eyes flew back and forth between Al and Topaz. "Um, with Rose. I'll see you later!" He fled like there were Dementors after him.
Rose? Scorpius rarely talked to Rose anymore. The two of them got on each other's nerves. Al wanted to go after him and ask what was up, but he remained at the table. Topaz still hadn't given him an answer. He looked at their joined hands and then at her. "No?" he asked tentatively.
"No! Not no! Yes! Of course I want to go out with you!" She smiled broadly. "I was hoping you would ask. Now we can spend all of our time together!"
How odd. Did going out with someone mean you were always with them? Al hoped not. He would miss hanging out with Scorpius.
He opened his mouth to ask Topaz what she meant, but she began talking before he could speak. "We should study together in the library tonight, and then tomorrow we can study outside because the weather is supposed to be nice. And Saturday is a Hogsmeade weekend, so we should go to Madam Puddifoot's together."
Al protested mildly. "But Scorpius and I--"
Topaz disregarded his words and continued to speak. "This is going to be so much fun! I'm so excited, Al!"
"Yeah," he muttered. She didn't seem to notice that Al's gaze had fallen to the table and wasn't rising. Al had just got exactly what he wanted. Why did it feel like something was missing?
~*~
"Scorpius! Do you want to study together this evening?" Al stuck his head inside his dorm room.
One of his roommates looked up from his homework. "He's not here."
Al frowned. "He said he would study here."
Another of his roommates shrugged and said, "Sorry. I don't know where he went."
"All right. Thanks." Al closed the door and moved back into the common room. Where could Scorpius be? Maybe the library. Al strode over to the door, only to be slammed into by Bole.
"Sorry!" Al said, moving out of the way.
Bole sneered at him. "Get out of my way, you bloody queer." He walked past without waiting for Al to respond.
Scorpius came through the door after Bole. "Shut up!" he called after Al's tormentor.
Bole turned around. "Why should I listen to you?"
Scorpius crossed his arms and smirked. "That thing you don't want spread around? I'll tell everyone if you don't shut your face."
Bole's face flushed a mottled purple. "You'll owe me for this."
"That's only fair."
Bole nodded once and sneered before heading to the dorm room.
"What happened?" Al asked.
Scorpius turned to him and smiled. "Nothing really. What are you up to?"
They definitely had not just fought over "nothing," but Al dropped the subject. If Scorpius didn't want to discuss it, they wouldn't discuss it. "Do you want to come study in the library with me?"
"Of course! Let me just grab my books." Al waited for Scorpius to gather up what he needed. Then they set off for the library. They talked the whole way, both of them babbling on about the silliest topics. Al hadn't had a chance to talk to Scorpius in days. Topaz always wanted to hang about together, and Al really missed Scorpius. Luckily, Topaz was spending some time with her friends today.
Unluckily, Topaz and her friends had decided to study together in the library. "Al!" she shrieked when she saw him. "Come sit with us!" Madame Pince glared at her from across the room, and Al could feel everyone watching him.
He felt his anxiety creeping up on him. He looked at Scorpius, who was frowning at the floor, and then at Topaz, who was waving at him. He wanted to study with his best mate, but Topaz would be upset if he didn't sit with her. Al tried to find a happy medium.
"Scorpius, do you mind if we sit with them?" he asked softly.
Scorpius shook his head. "It's okay. You go study with your girlfriend. I need to study in silence anyway." He walked to a far table without saying another word to Al.
Al glanced back at Topaz. She was still waving, but now she was frowning. He scurried over to her table and quietly said, "I'm going to study with Scorpius, okay?"
She glared at him. "No, it's not okay. I am your girlfriend, and I want you to study with me. He can come over here too, if you want, but I want you to come sit with me." She smiled sweetly. "Please, Al."
Scorpius was still sitting there all alone, his head bowed over his work. Al took a deep breath. "No, not today. I'm studying with Scorpius."
Topaz's smile morphed into a sneer. "Merlin, you are such an awful boyfriend. I'm not sure I want to date you if you can't even make time to study with me."
Al thought back on his week. He had done something with Topaz almost every day. The only time he had seen Scorpius was at bedtime. He missed his best friend. "I'm a bad boyfriend, I guess. I'm going to study with Scorpius today."
Al turned to leave, but Topaz grabbed his arm. "If you leave now, I will break up with you. Now sit down."
His gaze fell to the floor. He wanted to protest, to say that it was Scorpius he wanted to study with, but he couldn't. Topaz was his first girlfriend, and he really liked her. She started to pull him closer to the table, but Al balked.
"No."
"What?" Topaz looked at him as if he was crazy. "Do you want to break up?"
Topaz or Scorpius? A cute girl or the boy who had saved him from the silence? "Yes," he said.
She released his arm with a shove. Baring her teeth at him, she snarled, "Fine. I don't care. I tried to help you. I tried to be nice to you and take care of you. But you don't want me. So you can go back to Scorpius"--she spat the name at him--"and forget about me. We are over."
Al shrugged and walked away. He thought a break-up should probably hurt more. It didn't matter; now he would have time to spend with Scorpius. That made it all worth it.
Scorpius looked up from his books to meet Al's eyes as he approached. "What are you doing over here?"
"We broke up."
Scorpius's smile was bright and sunny. "So you're going to study with me?"
Al nodded and plopped his stuff down on the table. "I'm sorry," he said.
Scorpius quirked his head to the side. "Why?"
"I let a girl come between us. I won't do it again."
"Good. See that you don't." They both laughed and then started on their homework.
Al watched Scorpius study and felt his heart throb. He loved Scorpius, as a friend. They were both blokes after all. He hoped he would be able to find a girl as awesome as Scorpius one day. He had thought he had that in Topaz, but except for her grey eyes and blond hair, she was nothing like Scorpius. Someday though, someday he would have a girl like Scorpius to fall in love with.
Chapter Four - Chapter Five
Chapter: 3/5
Chapter Rating : G
Overall Rating: PG-13
Word Count : ~4,500
Characters : Albus/Scorpius
Disclaimer : Just playing... I'll give them back to JKR when I'm done!
Summary : Al's always been a bit shy, but he's never been afraid to talk to people. That is, he wasn't until Scorpius showed up. Now Al wonders if he'll ever be able to speak again.
Authors Note : It took a month to get this little bit down, but I'm rather pleased with it. :) HUGE thank you's go out to my wonderful beta shina_laris who did an amazing and super fast job on this. I owe you! :)
Chapter One - Chapter Two
"Lumos!" A bright light burst from the end of Al's wand, and Professor Flitwick clapped delightedly.
"Wonderful job, Mr. Potter! I knew you could do it!" He hopped off the pile of books he had been standing on and rushed over to his desk. He scribbled down a note on a piece of parchment and handed it to Al. "You've passed your exam with flying colours. All you have to do now is take this to Headmistress Sinistra."
"Thank you," Al murmured gratefully. It had taken almost an entire year to get to this point, but he had finally finished his last exam. He gathered up his books, quill, and ink, and waved goodbye to Professor Flitwick as he exited the classroom. Scorpius was waiting for him outside of the room.
"Well?"
Al grinned. "I passed!"
Scorpius let out a whoop and Al laughed as his friend grabbed his hands and spun him around. "You did it! You finally did it!"
In a way, it was as much Scorpius's achievement as it was Al's. After Al received his diagnosis, Scorpius had pushed him to talk more often with more people. Al's therapy had begun soon after his first meeting with Healer Summers and was still ongoing. At first, various family members had been brought in to talk to Al and to get him to open up to the healer. Once Al was able to speak comfortably with Healer Summers, other people had been brought in.
That was when the therapy had stalled. Even in front of old family friends like Hagrid, Al hadn't been able to speak comfortably. After months of pushing Al to talk to anyone and everyone, Healer Summers had admitted he was at a dead end.
Then Scorpius stepped up. He had followed Al around the school for two and a half weeks after Rose told him what was happening at Al's therapy sessions. Every time Al met someone in the halls or bumped into someone down a library aisle, Scorpius would introduce himself and Al and then force Al to respond to the other person with a handshake or a smile.
When Al got to the point where he could say "Hello" to James's friends without any trouble, Scorpius snuck some Chocolate Frogs and butterbeer into the dorm from Hogsmeade for a celebration. Healer Summers had been delighted to learn about Al's breakthrough, and had Scorpius attend every one of Al's therapy sessions from then on.
With his friend there to support him, Al found it much easier to open up to those around him. Scorpius never judged him. He was content to sit there and listen to Al talk to people or to read a book while Al conversed with someone else. Gradually Scorpius was moved farther and farther from Al's side until finally Al could talk to almost everyone without his best mate for support.
Not that Al was cured. He still had horrible panic attacks at the thought of trying to talk to strangers. Taking exams or performing spells in front of others also freaked him out. However, Scorpius always seemed to be there when Al needed him. While Al took his end of the year exams, Scorpius sat outside each room waiting for him. As Al still could not speak in groups, his professors gave him private exams. Knowing that Scorpius was right outside the door had made all the difference in the world for Al, letting him focus on the exam and giving him the strength to mutter the proper spells.
Al had never imagined he would meet such an amazing person when he first got on the train to Hogwarts. Now he was not sure how he would get through a summer without Scorpius.
~*~
Standing on the platform, Al kissed his mother goodbye, hugged his father, and raced onto the train. He was not late, but he needed to get on quickly. Al ran down the train, peering into each compartment until he found one with a blonde-haired person in it.
"Hi, Scor…" His voice trailed off as he realised the person he was talking to was not his friend. There were three girls inside the compartment he had just burst into.
One girl smiled, and her grin caused the corners of her grey eyes to crinkle. She was the blonde he had seen through the compartment window. “Hi, Al. I think Scorpius is a few more compartments down that way,” she said, gesturing down the hall.
Al smiled back and tried to speak, but the words refused to come out. He focused on the girl next to her, a coping method he had learned in therapy, and said, “Thanks. Sorry for barging in on you.” He backed out of the room and practically slammed the door. His heart was racing in his chest.
Why hadn’t he been able to talk to that girl? Who was she? Why did she know Al’s name?
Feeling more than a little confused, Al made his way down the train, carefully checking each compartment for Scorpius. He was not about to make the same mistake twice.
When he finally found Scorpius, Al flew through the door of the compartment. "Scorpius!" He wanted to give him a hug, but Bole was in the compartment for some reason, so Al settled for sitting next to him and squeezing up alongside him.
Scorpius smiled good-naturedly. "Hey, Al. A little personal space please?"
Al pouted, but scooted over so that there was a little bit of space between them.
"What kinda poofter are you, telling your boyfriend to move? Aren't you fairies supposed to be like girls and act all clingy?" Bole's voice wasn't as spiteful as normal, as if he was actually curious.
Scorpius just rolled his eyes. Al replied, revelling in the fact that he had reached the point where he could even talk to Bole. "One, we aren't boyfriends, two, we aren't queer, and three, even if we were gay and together, we are still men. Why would we act like girls?"
Bole raised an eyebrow in his direction. "You could have fooled me. I've never seen boys lying on top of other boys like you two do." He sneered. "All that cuddling, fluffy stuff is way too queer for me." He turned towards Scorpius. "Listen, Malfoy, think about what I said. I'm outta here. The gayness might be catching."
He left before Scorpius could respond.
"What was that all about?" Al wondered aloud.
Scorpius shrugged. "Nothing. He was just being an arse."
Bole was always an arse. This didn't sound like his usual rudeness, but Al let it go. His was far too busy worrying about what had happened to him earlier. "Do you know the name of a blonde girl with grey eyes?" He thought back to what the girl had looked like. "I think she might be a Hufflepuff." She hadn't had her school robes on yet, but Al was almost positive she had been wearing a black and yellow clip in her hair.
Scorpius thought for a moment. "There are a number of Hufflepuff girls who fit that description. Lucinda is going to be a seventh year this term and she has blonde hair. I don’t know what colour her eyes are. Jane and Mary are in sixth year, Topaz is a fourth year like us, and Sarah and Katie are third years. I think Topaz and Katie are the only ones with lighter coloured eyes, but I can't remember the colours exactly."
Al laughed. "Wow, I will never be able to remember people like you. Why do you know so many people?"
"I like knowing people. It's important to keep tabs on both your friends and your enemies." Scorpius stood then and stretched for a moment before rummaging around in his things. "Do you want a liquorice wand?" he asked as he pulled out a handful.
"No, that's alright." Al shook his head. "Tell me more about the girls you named. You said Topaz and Katie have grey eyes?"
Scorpius laughed and bit off the tip of one wand. "I hope they both don't have grey eyes. They are incredibly rare after all, and I enjoy being a peculiarity."
That was right; Scorpius had grey eyes too. Al felt silly for not having realised it earlier, but he shrugged off his discomfort. After all, what kind of bloke thinks about his male friends’ eye colours? "You don't know then?"
"Nope. Can you tell me anything else about the girl?"
Al thought back to the other girls in the compartment. "I think she's friends with two other Hufflepuff girls." One girl had been wearing her uniform with a black and yellow crest prominently displayed on one side. The other girl had on a beaded yellow bracelet. Then he remembered the girl he had focused on for a moment slightly more clearly. "Oh! And one girl is black."
Scorpius nibbled on the end of a wand, but didn't bite down. "It's probably Topaz then. She's good friends with Marta Thomas and Belinda Firth, two Hufflepuffs."
"She's in our year?"
"Yes. You need to learn to recognise your year-mates, Al."
Al sighed. "I know. It's just that I spent years not being able to talk to them. And now everyone seems to have sorted themselves into groups. There's no room for me."
Scorpius reached over and ruffled Al's hair. "You can make friends, you just have to be pleasant and talk to them."
"But--"
"I know that's hard for you, but it's not impossible. And the best way to make a friend is to be a friend," Scorpius said.
Al watched Scorpius nibble on his liquorice for a moment and then nodded. "All right, I'll try. The first person I'm going to get to know is Topaz."
Scorpius bit the end of the wand and then looked at Al. "Why?" he asked after he swallowed his mouthful.
"I couldn't talk to her today," Al said with a frown. "For some reason I couldn't get my voice to work. I haven't regressed like that in months."
Scorpius raised an eyebrow. "And you want to start becoming more outgoing by making friends with a girl you can't talk to."
"Hey! It's not as stupid as it sounds!" Al protested.
"If you say so," Scorpius said. He returned to his candy.
Al grinned. "Besides, she's really cute."
Scorpius must have swallowed a bite of liquorice wrong because he started coughing.
"Scorpius? Are you all right?" Al reached out and pounded on Scorpius's back.
Scorpius nodded and gasped for air. "Just choked a bit. I think I took too big of a bite." He smiled wanly, but his eyes were wet. Had he choked hard enough to tear up?
"Are you sure you're okay?" Al rubbed his hand over Scorpius's back, trying to calm him.
Scorpius's smile grew larger, but the tears in his eyes started to fall down his face. He laughed loudly. "I'm fine, really. I do this all the time. I should stop eating these things." He put the liquorice wands away and settled into his seat with a book. Al doubted that Scorpius had told him the truth, but he just grabbed a book of his own to read on the long trip.
The rest of the train ride was silent, but neither boy minded. It was normal for them to spend hours together without either of them speaking. The silence was comfortable.
When they disembarked at the Hogsmeade station, kids from every year and house greeted Scorpius. It never failed to surprise Al that Scorpius was so popular. He understood the concept of popularity, but Al still felt the most comfortable around his family and Scorpius. Seeing Scorpius talking to so many people reminded Al that he would probably never get to that point.
Al shrugged off his morose thoughts and edged over to the waiting carriages. He waved at Hagrid and pulled on one of Lily's braids as she ran by with her friends. She stuck her tongue out at him and clambered into a horseless carriage. Rose passed by Al next, a book in one hand.
"Oi, Rose, how's Hugo?"
Rose sighed and rolled her eyes. "He's about as bad as you were. He's completely freaked out that he'll end up in Hufflepuff."
Al laughed. "Hufflepuff isn't a bad house." Topaz was in Hufflepuff. She seemed very nice. "Did you tell him no one in the family would care if he was sorted somewhere besides Gryffindor?"
"Yes, and he didn't believe me!" Rose huffed. "That boy drives me crazy. Thankfully, Hagrid is still taking them across. He'll bug the man to death for stories about magical creatures. By the time he gets to the castle he won't even remember he was worried."
"Rose! Come grab a carriage with us!" a tall girl in Gryffindor robes called.
Rose started. "Oh! I have to go. I'll talk to you later."
"Bye!" Al called after his cousin. He glanced back at Scorpius and found that he was still talking. Giving up, Al wandered over to the last carriage. He waved his hand softly in front of him until it came in contact with something he couldn't see. He moved his hand to the invisible creature's back and then ran it up to its head.
"How are you?" he asked, wishing he could see the animal with his own eyes. At the same time, he was glad he wasn't able to see the Thestrals. Witnessing death wasn't exactly on his to do list. His father and Aunt Luna had told him about them, and Hagrid had introduced them to him a couple of years ago. Ever since, Al had made it a point to visit the one who pulled his carriage.
After all, it wasn't their fault that they couldn't be seen.
"You're petting it again?" Scorpius asked as he walked up next to Al.
"Yeah," Al said, "I like to give them a little attention. It must get lonely when no one can see you, and they don't pay attention to you."
Scorpius held out his hand. "Show me where it is?"
"Just put your hand on top of mine." Scorpius placed his hand over Al's. It was warm and dry, but Al shivered for some reason. "Now, slowly move your fingers off my hand."
Scorpius hand slipped off his and onto the Thestral. "It feels a bit like fuzzy leather. Weird." Scorpius seemed amazed at this and rubbed the same spot repeatedly. The Thestral jerked beneath their hands, and Scorpius snatched his hand back.
Al laughed. "It's alive, so it moves. It only makes sense."
Scorpius glared at him. "Fine. Make fun of me." Then he smiled to let Al know he was joking. "Come on. Let's get into the carriage; I think they are getting ready to leave."
Al nodded, and they climbed into the carriage. It was time to go back to Hogwarts for another year. Al hoped it would be a good one.
~*~
The year was going by quickly. Al started to get a little upset with himself when Halloween arrived and he still had not talked to Topaz.
His first chance to speak to her came just after Halloween when they were partnered up in Herbology for a project.
“Hi, Al. I’m glad I get to work with you. Do you know what you would like to do for the project yet?” Topaz’s smile was overwhelming.
Al tucked his chin into his chest and began contemplating the floor. It was just a plain wooden floor. There was a little bit of dirt on it from the last class. Merlin, he was pitiful. It was silly to examine the floor. Why couldn’t he just force himself to talk to Topaz?
“Did you hear me?” Topaz waited a moment for him to speak. “Are you all right?”
Al wished he could sink into the floor. It was so embarrassing to look idiotic in front of a cute girl.
Scorpius intervened from nearby. “Don’t worry about Al too much. Sometimes he still has trouble getting the words out.”
Al knew Scorpius was trying to help, but now he really looked like an imbecile. He doubted any other bloke in Hogwarts had to have his friend help him talk to a girl.
Topaz didn’t seem to think he was stupid though. She simply reached out and patted his hand. “That’s okay. We’ll work on it, and I bet I can help him talk.”
Scorpius sniffed at her. “Al can talk. He just doesn’t communicate well. There’s a big difference.”
Why was Scorpius being so combative? Normally he got along with everyone. Al looked up from the floor and found Scorpius and Topaz glaring at each other. He gulped. “Let’s start,” he managed to murmur. Focusing on his textbook instead of Topaz, he began speaking haltingly. “I would like to grow this plant.”
Topaz moved close to him. Placing one hand on his shoulder, she leaned over to look at the page he pointed to. “That one looks like fun!” she said brightly.
Al looked at her and smiled. She grinned back at him. Then Al glanced over Scorpius. He had never seen Scorpius look so upset. He wanted to ask what was wrong but was distracted when Topaz began to babble on about the plant he had picked. Scorpius turned away, and Al felt like Scorpius had snubbed him. He tried to shrug off the feeling and turned back to Topaz. He couldn’t wait till he could talk to her properly.
~*~
"Oi! Al! Over here!" Topaz waved madly at Al from the Hufflepuff table. "Come and eat with us!"
Al glanced at Scorpius. "You want to come?"
Scorpius smiled and shook his head. "Nah, that's okay. I think I'll eat lunch with the other Slytherins today."
Al frowned. "Okay. Come on over if you change your mind."
Scorpius nodded. "Will do."
Al turned and headed towards the Hufflepuffs' table. "Hey," he said as he sat.
Topaz grinned at him. "What have you been up to? We haven't seen much of you lately."
Al shrugged and his gaze fell to the plate in front of him. "Been busy." He felt like kicking himself. He had been working on becoming friends with Topaz and her group for almost three months, and he still couldn't manage to speak to her properly.
Luckily, she had taken it upon herself to help Al get over his speaking problems. "Look at me, please."
It was easier to obey an order than it was to force himself to do something. He looked up at her and felt his stomach turn over. Her grey eyes were twinkling--Al loved it when they did because it meant she was happy.
"Good! Now tell me what's been keeping you busy."
The other students at the table ignored their stilted conversation, and Al slowly spoke about his studies and a project he was working on for Potions. Topaz listened intently, reaching out and touch Al's hand when his gaze fell away from her.
When her hand touched his and stayed there, Al's stomach began flip-flopping. He looked up at her and straight into her eyes. His tongue stopped working immediately.
"What else, Al?" Topaz asked softly.
Al knew what his feelings meant. Topaz was beautiful, kind, and lovely. She was everything Al had ever thought a girl should be. He liked her, a lot. "I-I, will you, I…"
Topaz squeezed his hand. "What?"
Al took a deep breath and closed his eyes, focusing on his words instead of the girl in front of him. "Will you g-go out with me?"
There was a small gasp behind them. Al's eyes flew open to see Scorpius standing there, looking shocked. "I was just going to come eat with you, but I just remembered I need to talk to someone." His eyes flew back and forth between Al and Topaz. "Um, with Rose. I'll see you later!" He fled like there were Dementors after him.
Rose? Scorpius rarely talked to Rose anymore. The two of them got on each other's nerves. Al wanted to go after him and ask what was up, but he remained at the table. Topaz still hadn't given him an answer. He looked at their joined hands and then at her. "No?" he asked tentatively.
"No! Not no! Yes! Of course I want to go out with you!" She smiled broadly. "I was hoping you would ask. Now we can spend all of our time together!"
How odd. Did going out with someone mean you were always with them? Al hoped not. He would miss hanging out with Scorpius.
He opened his mouth to ask Topaz what she meant, but she began talking before he could speak. "We should study together in the library tonight, and then tomorrow we can study outside because the weather is supposed to be nice. And Saturday is a Hogsmeade weekend, so we should go to Madam Puddifoot's together."
Al protested mildly. "But Scorpius and I--"
Topaz disregarded his words and continued to speak. "This is going to be so much fun! I'm so excited, Al!"
"Yeah," he muttered. She didn't seem to notice that Al's gaze had fallen to the table and wasn't rising. Al had just got exactly what he wanted. Why did it feel like something was missing?
~*~
"Scorpius! Do you want to study together this evening?" Al stuck his head inside his dorm room.
One of his roommates looked up from his homework. "He's not here."
Al frowned. "He said he would study here."
Another of his roommates shrugged and said, "Sorry. I don't know where he went."
"All right. Thanks." Al closed the door and moved back into the common room. Where could Scorpius be? Maybe the library. Al strode over to the door, only to be slammed into by Bole.
"Sorry!" Al said, moving out of the way.
Bole sneered at him. "Get out of my way, you bloody queer." He walked past without waiting for Al to respond.
Scorpius came through the door after Bole. "Shut up!" he called after Al's tormentor.
Bole turned around. "Why should I listen to you?"
Scorpius crossed his arms and smirked. "That thing you don't want spread around? I'll tell everyone if you don't shut your face."
Bole's face flushed a mottled purple. "You'll owe me for this."
"That's only fair."
Bole nodded once and sneered before heading to the dorm room.
"What happened?" Al asked.
Scorpius turned to him and smiled. "Nothing really. What are you up to?"
They definitely had not just fought over "nothing," but Al dropped the subject. If Scorpius didn't want to discuss it, they wouldn't discuss it. "Do you want to come study in the library with me?"
"Of course! Let me just grab my books." Al waited for Scorpius to gather up what he needed. Then they set off for the library. They talked the whole way, both of them babbling on about the silliest topics. Al hadn't had a chance to talk to Scorpius in days. Topaz always wanted to hang about together, and Al really missed Scorpius. Luckily, Topaz was spending some time with her friends today.
Unluckily, Topaz and her friends had decided to study together in the library. "Al!" she shrieked when she saw him. "Come sit with us!" Madame Pince glared at her from across the room, and Al could feel everyone watching him.
He felt his anxiety creeping up on him. He looked at Scorpius, who was frowning at the floor, and then at Topaz, who was waving at him. He wanted to study with his best mate, but Topaz would be upset if he didn't sit with her. Al tried to find a happy medium.
"Scorpius, do you mind if we sit with them?" he asked softly.
Scorpius shook his head. "It's okay. You go study with your girlfriend. I need to study in silence anyway." He walked to a far table without saying another word to Al.
Al glanced back at Topaz. She was still waving, but now she was frowning. He scurried over to her table and quietly said, "I'm going to study with Scorpius, okay?"
She glared at him. "No, it's not okay. I am your girlfriend, and I want you to study with me. He can come over here too, if you want, but I want you to come sit with me." She smiled sweetly. "Please, Al."
Scorpius was still sitting there all alone, his head bowed over his work. Al took a deep breath. "No, not today. I'm studying with Scorpius."
Topaz's smile morphed into a sneer. "Merlin, you are such an awful boyfriend. I'm not sure I want to date you if you can't even make time to study with me."
Al thought back on his week. He had done something with Topaz almost every day. The only time he had seen Scorpius was at bedtime. He missed his best friend. "I'm a bad boyfriend, I guess. I'm going to study with Scorpius today."
Al turned to leave, but Topaz grabbed his arm. "If you leave now, I will break up with you. Now sit down."
His gaze fell to the floor. He wanted to protest, to say that it was Scorpius he wanted to study with, but he couldn't. Topaz was his first girlfriend, and he really liked her. She started to pull him closer to the table, but Al balked.
"No."
"What?" Topaz looked at him as if he was crazy. "Do you want to break up?"
Topaz or Scorpius? A cute girl or the boy who had saved him from the silence? "Yes," he said.
She released his arm with a shove. Baring her teeth at him, she snarled, "Fine. I don't care. I tried to help you. I tried to be nice to you and take care of you. But you don't want me. So you can go back to Scorpius"--she spat the name at him--"and forget about me. We are over."
Al shrugged and walked away. He thought a break-up should probably hurt more. It didn't matter; now he would have time to spend with Scorpius. That made it all worth it.
Scorpius looked up from his books to meet Al's eyes as he approached. "What are you doing over here?"
"We broke up."
Scorpius's smile was bright and sunny. "So you're going to study with me?"
Al nodded and plopped his stuff down on the table. "I'm sorry," he said.
Scorpius quirked his head to the side. "Why?"
"I let a girl come between us. I won't do it again."
"Good. See that you don't." They both laughed and then started on their homework.
Al watched Scorpius study and felt his heart throb. He loved Scorpius, as a friend. They were both blokes after all. He hoped he would be able to find a girl as awesome as Scorpius one day. He had thought he had that in Topaz, but except for her grey eyes and blond hair, she was nothing like Scorpius. Someday though, someday he would have a girl like Scorpius to fall in love with.
Chapter Four - Chapter Five