Biting
Just to start, if you are in Beta and you read this, Samantha really want to be Bachelor/ PR. so vote for her, and i am going for VP. thanx
Today is beginning well, but I kinda want to talk about something else. Something I have been feeling for a little while now. I feel like I am loosing any motivation to anything I love or that makes me happy. I was so frustrated Sunday night for some reason beyond me that I went and ran 2 miles. That helped for a while until I made it to officer meeting which I was frustrating as well. (ps-if you do not want to come to officer meeting, don’t, we can do it without you.) I was up late Sunday night writing a paper that is pretty late, but I do not care. That is also part of it, I just do not care. I am not being lazy or slacking, but I just do not care about many things right now unless I know they are worth it. I refuse to put myself completely into anything unless I know it will work towards a positive outcome. For example, last night I could have gotten some homework done, but Tori and Cori wanted to go out with Sam and I for pancakes…that is a positive time to spend with good people, clearly overrides stupid reading for a class, and it was fun. I did not have class this morning so I slept in until 10 and felt great when I woke up. All positive things. I am steering away from anything, anyone, or any situation that could potentially be negative. Running again has helped to give me some time to mull things over after my day. If not a good run, then a good soccer game with my sisters….or both. Sometimes a game will not do it for me, especially if I leave it feeling frustrated. Last night our “coach” who I find to be horribly creepy and harsh, yelled at me to play a certain way, then when I did not comply, he sub me. Ps, I do not get subbed. I was not even tired. There were plenty of other girls on the field who needed a break, not me. I wanted to punch him soooo bad. It was all I could do not to. I do not like him. He doesn’t even know anything about our team and our individual experience in playing soccer. If he really things he is going to help us be a better team, he needs to listen to us, we know ourselves. He made me play forward….what? I have not played forward in 4 years. Yeah, he is not awesome.
I have a test to study for tomorrow.
There appears to be zero time to play guitar with Ryan either. It gets harder and harder to be around Dan to much, but I am trying really hard, but it hurts ya know.
I do not know what to do. All the running and all the soccer in the world will not fix it right now, but I am trying.
Tonight Beta votes on offices. Time to start something new. Always a positive thing. Soccer game tonight at 8. Always a positive thing…unless our stupid coach talks to me, then I might bite him.
Today is beginning well, but I kinda want to talk about something else. Something I have been feeling for a little while now. I feel like I am loosing any motivation to anything I love or that makes me happy. I was so frustrated Sunday night for some reason beyond me that I went and ran 2 miles. That helped for a while until I made it to officer meeting which I was frustrating as well. (ps-if you do not want to come to officer meeting, don’t, we can do it without you.) I was up late Sunday night writing a paper that is pretty late, but I do not care. That is also part of it, I just do not care. I am not being lazy or slacking, but I just do not care about many things right now unless I know they are worth it. I refuse to put myself completely into anything unless I know it will work towards a positive outcome. For example, last night I could have gotten some homework done, but Tori and Cori wanted to go out with Sam and I for pancakes…that is a positive time to spend with good people, clearly overrides stupid reading for a class, and it was fun. I did not have class this morning so I slept in until 10 and felt great when I woke up. All positive things. I am steering away from anything, anyone, or any situation that could potentially be negative. Running again has helped to give me some time to mull things over after my day. If not a good run, then a good soccer game with my sisters….or both. Sometimes a game will not do it for me, especially if I leave it feeling frustrated. Last night our “coach” who I find to be horribly creepy and harsh, yelled at me to play a certain way, then when I did not comply, he sub me. Ps, I do not get subbed. I was not even tired. There were plenty of other girls on the field who needed a break, not me. I wanted to punch him soooo bad. It was all I could do not to. I do not like him. He doesn’t even know anything about our team and our individual experience in playing soccer. If he really things he is going to help us be a better team, he needs to listen to us, we know ourselves. He made me play forward….what? I have not played forward in 4 years. Yeah, he is not awesome.
I have a test to study for tomorrow.
There appears to be zero time to play guitar with Ryan either. It gets harder and harder to be around Dan to much, but I am trying really hard, but it hurts ya know.
I do not know what to do. All the running and all the soccer in the world will not fix it right now, but I am trying.
Tonight Beta votes on offices. Time to start something new. Always a positive thing. Soccer game tonight at 8. Always a positive thing…unless our stupid coach talks to me, then I might bite him.