Showers of Strawberries
Things are never what they seem, like the people we surround ourselves with, the road before us and the book you assume won’t have any impact on you
Friday, the only thing I wanted to do was go to work, think about those beautiful children of mine, and not myself, get shit faced, and not give a fuck about anything. I achieved all of those goals and then some. I am now past my sad stage and moving right though down right pissed off. Still lingering on angry, but mostly staying with disappointed and bitter. I hope to be through this one quickly. Regardless, I plan on not giving a fuck about anything for a while if I may. I may. Minus school, my children, and friends I adore because I care about that.
It is amazing to me how often God reminds me that I am not alone. The showers of strawberries are more than I could ask for. It is uncanny to me how well people know me. I truly am blessed to be where I am at.
I feel like I have more of a reason than ever to move on to New Zealand this summer. I await those days to spend away from here. I will desperately miss my children and close friends and family, but I NEED to get out of here. I really do. Call it running away, call it escaping, call it avoidance, call it what you like…I will call it moving on.
Above all I feel grateful right now. Grateful that I have the strength to walk through this one, and grateful that my desires to cover pain in destructive ways are not as potent as they once were. I am also thankful for the people in my like who genuinely care about my happiness. They do not have to be my best friends in the world, but they are priceless to me. I am thankful.
Friday, the only thing I wanted to do was go to work, think about those beautiful children of mine, and not myself, get shit faced, and not give a fuck about anything. I achieved all of those goals and then some. I am now past my sad stage and moving right though down right pissed off. Still lingering on angry, but mostly staying with disappointed and bitter. I hope to be through this one quickly. Regardless, I plan on not giving a fuck about anything for a while if I may. I may. Minus school, my children, and friends I adore because I care about that.
It is amazing to me how often God reminds me that I am not alone. The showers of strawberries are more than I could ask for. It is uncanny to me how well people know me. I truly am blessed to be where I am at.
I feel like I have more of a reason than ever to move on to New Zealand this summer. I await those days to spend away from here. I will desperately miss my children and close friends and family, but I NEED to get out of here. I really do. Call it running away, call it escaping, call it avoidance, call it what you like…I will call it moving on.
Above all I feel grateful right now. Grateful that I have the strength to walk through this one, and grateful that my desires to cover pain in destructive ways are not as potent as they once were. I am also thankful for the people in my like who genuinely care about my happiness. They do not have to be my best friends in the world, but they are priceless to me. I am thankful.