One of the many reasons I love my friend Trish
(She runs an internet cafe and I got this from her bebo blog:)
For general enquiries press 1, for answer to your stupid fucking question, please hang up
Adventures in Stupidland (part 1)
Person 1: "Are you open?"
What I said - through pulled down shutter after opening the locked door of a darkened shop: "Not for another 40 minutes"
What I wanted to say: FUCKKKKK OFFFFFFFFFF!
Person 2: "Do you have Broadband?"
What I said: "Yes, we do"
What I wanted to say: "No, we run 22 computers and 5 PS3s off a dial up connection, over a 14kbps modem, just to see everyone grind their teeth into splinters and punch each other repeatedly"
Person 3: "I want to scan this picture and send it from my email address"
What I said: "Ok, log into your email address first"
Person 3: "Oh, I don't have an email address"
What I said: "...."
What I wanted to say: "have you been informed of Balbriggan's extensive handicapped parking?"
Person 4: "I want you to fix my phone" (no "please")
What I said: "We don't fix phones"
Person 4: "Yes, you do! I got it fixed here before!"
What I said: "It wasn't here, we never fixed phones"
Person 4: "It says it on your sign!"
What I said: "Show me where it says that"
(Accompanied him outside)
Person 4: "Oh...I could have sworn it said that"
What I wanted to say: "Learning to read properly may well save your life one day"
Person 5: "Please fax this very quickly I am parked on a double yellow line and the warden is up the road"
What I said: "I can't control how long it takes for the fax to send"
What I wanted to say: "Pay for your fucking parking the same as everyone else, alternatively, drop dead"
For general enquiries press 1, for answer to your stupid fucking question, please hang up
Adventures in Stupidland (part 1)
Person 1: "Are you open?"
What I said - through pulled down shutter after opening the locked door of a darkened shop: "Not for another 40 minutes"
What I wanted to say: FUCKKKKK OFFFFFFFFFF!
Person 2: "Do you have Broadband?"
What I said: "Yes, we do"
What I wanted to say: "No, we run 22 computers and 5 PS3s off a dial up connection, over a 14kbps modem, just to see everyone grind their teeth into splinters and punch each other repeatedly"
Person 3: "I want to scan this picture and send it from my email address"
What I said: "Ok, log into your email address first"
Person 3: "Oh, I don't have an email address"
What I said: "...."
What I wanted to say: "have you been informed of Balbriggan's extensive handicapped parking?"
Person 4: "I want you to fix my phone" (no "please")
What I said: "We don't fix phones"
Person 4: "Yes, you do! I got it fixed here before!"
What I said: "It wasn't here, we never fixed phones"
Person 4: "It says it on your sign!"
What I said: "Show me where it says that"
(Accompanied him outside)
Person 4: "Oh...I could have sworn it said that"
What I wanted to say: "Learning to read properly may well save your life one day"
Person 5: "Please fax this very quickly I am parked on a double yellow line and the warden is up the road"
What I said: "I can't control how long it takes for the fax to send"
What I wanted to say: "Pay for your fucking parking the same as everyone else, alternatively, drop dead"