Road To Joy 2
Title: Road To Joy 2
Band/Pairing: Mikey/Ray (With members of The Used, Simple Plan and Taking Back Sunday)
Author: bestxwillxfall
Rating: R
Summary: Frank's POV. AU. “Gerard, they aren’t, oh god, please no,” I cry. I ran towards the house, trying to find a hole, anything, that would let me in. Nothing. There was nothing. Only a small opening that appeared to be completely black. I looked in, calling out Mikey and Ray’s names. No reply. My eyes adjusted to the darkness.
Warning: Character death, angst, and all around sadness. I have yet to write something happy.
Disclaimer: This didn’t happen, and if it did, I’d be sad.
Notes: This was originally to be a one shot thing, then I realized I was in 20 pages on Microsoft word. Enjoy!
Previous Chapters: Chapter 1
"So what happened?” he said, crossing his legs. I’m currently lying on the couch, having a comfortable, but yet restless, time. He keeps asking me questions and all I want to do is lie on the couch. “With Ray and Gerard? Did they fight?”
“No, they actually became best friends. We four spent the summer attached at the hips. We were all always over at Gerard and Mikey’s house, spending the night, watching movies. Whatever we felt like doing. There was one time when I spent an entire week at their house, not even going home for new clothes. I just wore Mikey’s,”
““Here, you can have this,” Mikey threw an oversized white shirt at me. I looked at the design on it.
“Who are The Smiths?” I ask, pulling the shirt over my head. The sleeves reach down to my elbows.
“An eighties band, they’re great,” Mikey smiles and throws me a pair of pajama bottoms. We sit on his bed for a while; Gerard and Ray are downstairs in a deep conversation.
“Do you like anyone?” he asks suddenly.
“Well, at school, yeah. There’s this one girl, she’s really cool. But I’m not sure about it.” I examine my bare feet, wiggling my toes. “How about you?”
“I think I have a crush on Ray,” I jump off the bed.
“But he’s a guy!” I nearly shout. Mikey puts his finger to his mouth, telling me to either shut up or speak softer.
“I know! But I can’t help it,”
“Well, it wouldn’t matter, he’s fourteen, and he wouldn’t ever go for you. Have you told Gerard?” Mikey’s eyes went wide. He shook his head furiously.
“No! And don’t say anything about it, he’d probably go insane.”
I nodded. “Sure thing.”
Lying on my bed, thinking about the old times. My session ended an hour ago, and I had nothing else to do. I couldn’t wait to get out of here. Maybe my parents would stop paying for it if I just said I wouldn’t attempt suicide again? But that’s a lie. I know I would once I got out. Maybe there’s something here that I could use.
David is my roommate, and he’s as silent as I am. He stares at the ceiling like I do, examining it for non existent cracks and flaws. He sighs and rolls over on his side, his back facing me. I decide to say something.
“Does it always suck this much?”
“It gets worse. But sometimes it’s okay,” he responds quickly, “sometimes they have good dinners or lunches. And there’s a work out room.”
“Is group always that,” I pause for the right word, “painful?” He laughs at me and nods.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.”
“You know, Frank, shaving your legs isn’t all that bad, I can see why girls do it,” Gerard commented, feeling up and down his shins. There was no trace of hair on them. “It’s all smooth and nice to the touch.”
“Sure, Gee. Have you seen Mikey?”
“I think he went to his house.” Gerard pulled his pant leg down. “Ray called and said he saw him go in there, I’m not sure if he’s still there.”
“We’ve got to do something about him,” I said. “I’m tired of him going there to be so alone, he knows he has us.”
“Let’s go,” At the time, it seemed like a good idea to check on Mikey, but when we found him and Ray making out at the bottom of the staircase, Gerard was irate.
“THIS IS WHAT YOU’VE BEEN DOING THE PAST THREE WEEKS?!” he roared. Mikey tried to back away from him, but was blocked by the bottom three steps. “You’ve been using mom as a fucking excuse to make out with Ray?!” Gerard turned his attention towards Ray, Mikey took his hand for comfort. “And you, that’s disgusting. You’re fourteen! He’s ten! Ray, I thought you had better judgment than that!”
I sat behind Gerard, cross legged, playing with the dirt and discarded nails. A few steps were missing on the staircase, the seventh and the second to last. One of them had half caved in.
Ray stood up to Gerard. “I do have judgment, Gerard! Do you think I would just go off with some ten year old because I felt like it?! I really like Mikey, I have since I met him. Why can’t you just be happy about that?”
“Because I don’t want him to get hurt again!” Gerard shouted. I looked up from my small pile of nails. Gerard held out his hand. “C’mon Mikey, let’s go,” but Mikey shook his head.
“No, I want to stay with Ray,” he actually refused Gerard. The scene was becoming more interesting than my pile of nails by the second.
“So did Mikey stop seeing Ray?” he asks.
“No, he didn’t. They met at that house everyday, and Gerard gave up on caring about it.”
“What about you? What did you have to say about it?”
“Nothing, really. I didn’t care; Mikey had gotten what he wanted. I was glad for him.”
“Were you?” he asks. He doesn’t trust me. The bastard doesn’t trust me. Would I lie about any of this? Would I say something that weren’t true about Mikey? I watch the clock. Twenty-five more minutes of this shit.
“Yes, yes I was.” I say forcefully. “Mikey finally found something that took his mind off his mom.”
“What about your mom? You’ve never told me about her.”
“Oh, well, she’s really a great mom. She takes care of me, but doesn’t baby me. She was best friends with Gerard and Mikey’s mom.”
“Do you have any other friends?”
“Not really. Just those three. I was so excited for school; I knew it was going to be the best with Mikey there. We were going to be in the same class, and Ray and Gee had a few classes together, like choir and math.” And now Gee and I are going to be alone again. Only he will have graduated, and I’ll have absolutely no one with me in high school. A lump swells in my throat at the thought of it.
“What about Gerard’s dad?”
“Gerard, where’s your brother?” Gee’s dad called from the kitchen. “It’s nearly dinner, and he hasn’t been home for an hour,”
“He’s with Ray,” Gee and I were watching a movie in his living room. Some horror movie about a girl who walks through a house in her night gown and then gets slashed up. Well, that could be any horror movie, but this one was better than the other ones.
“What do those to do?” his dad teased. “They’re always together, aren’t they? Well, when they aren’t with you two.” He brought us plates full of food. Gee’s dad had proved himself a wonderful cook. “You two finish up and then go find him, he can’t be far.”
I wish we would have savored those precious mouthfuls. I left Gerard’s house after I was done, thanking his dad for the food and set out for home. Gerard walked on the other side of the street towards Mikey’s house. When I got home, I collapsed on my bed. One more week, and then school will start.
A few more weeks until school would start, and then the homework would start pouring in. I’d get to spend my days in the study hall, listening to Bert humming his own made up tunes and watching Quinn doze off with his headphones on. David was constantly writing things. I asked him what he was writing one day, and he said he was writing to his girlfriend.
I asked Bert about it later. “Yeah, they are. But his girlfriend’s dead. Why do you think he tried to kill himself?” I shuddered. I felt so bad for David; I knew what it was like to lose someone that you loved.
CRASH. I had dozed off for only a few moments, but was woken up by a crash coming from across the street. I looked out my window to see what had happened. Mikey’s house was lying in a pile of rubble.
“Oh god, please don’t let them have been in there,” I prayed, grabbing my jacket and running out of the house. I found Gerard on his knees outside the house, his face buried in his hands.
“Gerard, what happened?!” I said it loudly. I tried to keep my voice down, but so much panic was there that I couldn’t help it.
“I tried to get them out, but they told me to go away, and then when they finally started to go down the stairs,” but he started crying. I felt my chin quivering.
“Gerard, they aren’t, oh god, please no,” I cry. I ran towards the house, trying to find a hole, anything, that would let me in. Nothing. There was nothing. Only a small opening that appeared to be completely black. I looked in, calling out Mikey and Ray’s names. No reply. My eyes adjusted to the darkness.
“No,” I saw a hand barely on top of a pile of collapsed wood. “No, god, no, NO!” I tried to reach it, but it was no use. If my head was clear at the time, I probably would have realized that the hand was ten feet away. I screamed Mikey’s name, expecting a reply, needing a reply. Tears were streaming down my cheeks; the fingers of the hand didn’t move, nothing moved, just the dust, which was beginning to settle.
Nothing came. I realized that my arm was still extending, reaching out for Mikey, I didn’t want him to be gone. Someone was tugging at my shoulders, willing me to move. I held on tight to the frame of the opening, telling the person to go away. I had to save Mikey.
“Frank, honey, Mikey’s gone,” it was mom. I turned around; her face was stained with tears, her eyes red and puffy. I had never seen mom like this before. My crying became worse and she took me in her arms. I looked at the sidewalk, and found Gee and his dad kneeling together, his dad’s arm around his shoulder, both of them crying tears that were more frequent and bigger than my own.
“Who found you the first time you tried to commit suicide?” he asks, crossing his legs and folding his hands, setting them on his lap.
“My mom, she came in to say that lunch was ready. I heard her saying to dad later on that she had yelled and screamed, and when I didn’t wake up, she called 911. Dad had been at work.”
“How long ago was that?”
“Three years ago, about a year after Mikey and Ray died.”
“What about the second time?”
“My mom, again. I was sitting in my room, my dad was at work, and she was doing the laundry downstairs. I knew where my dad hid a gun, in case of intruders or criminals or something, so I went into their room and took it. I went back to my room because I didn’t want to make a mess in my parent’s,
“Anyway, I had a lot of hesitations, when I pulled the trigger the first time, the gun didn’t go off because the safety was on. So the second time I tried not to hesitate, and just to pull the trigger. But mom walked in on me, carrying a basket of folded clothes. She dropped them and stared at me.” Her eyes were the worst part about it. I hadn’t ever seen her eyes like that.
“Can I go?” I ask after a long silence. “I don’t want to say anything else, so can I just go?”
“We still have ten minutes,” he says, slightly tilting his head. So I don’t say anything for the next ten minutes and rush out of the room before he has time to get up and open the door for me.
Archived at: inxourxdesign
Band/Pairing: Mikey/Ray (With members of The Used, Simple Plan and Taking Back Sunday)
Author: bestxwillxfall
Rating: R
Summary: Frank's POV. AU. “Gerard, they aren’t, oh god, please no,” I cry. I ran towards the house, trying to find a hole, anything, that would let me in. Nothing. There was nothing. Only a small opening that appeared to be completely black. I looked in, calling out Mikey and Ray’s names. No reply. My eyes adjusted to the darkness.
Warning: Character death, angst, and all around sadness. I have yet to write something happy.
Disclaimer: This didn’t happen, and if it did, I’d be sad.
Notes: This was originally to be a one shot thing, then I realized I was in 20 pages on Microsoft word. Enjoy!
Previous Chapters: Chapter 1
"So what happened?” he said, crossing his legs. I’m currently lying on the couch, having a comfortable, but yet restless, time. He keeps asking me questions and all I want to do is lie on the couch. “With Ray and Gerard? Did they fight?”
“No, they actually became best friends. We four spent the summer attached at the hips. We were all always over at Gerard and Mikey’s house, spending the night, watching movies. Whatever we felt like doing. There was one time when I spent an entire week at their house, not even going home for new clothes. I just wore Mikey’s,”
““Here, you can have this,” Mikey threw an oversized white shirt at me. I looked at the design on it.
“Who are The Smiths?” I ask, pulling the shirt over my head. The sleeves reach down to my elbows.
“An eighties band, they’re great,” Mikey smiles and throws me a pair of pajama bottoms. We sit on his bed for a while; Gerard and Ray are downstairs in a deep conversation.
“Do you like anyone?” he asks suddenly.
“Well, at school, yeah. There’s this one girl, she’s really cool. But I’m not sure about it.” I examine my bare feet, wiggling my toes. “How about you?”
“I think I have a crush on Ray,” I jump off the bed.
“But he’s a guy!” I nearly shout. Mikey puts his finger to his mouth, telling me to either shut up or speak softer.
“I know! But I can’t help it,”
“Well, it wouldn’t matter, he’s fourteen, and he wouldn’t ever go for you. Have you told Gerard?” Mikey’s eyes went wide. He shook his head furiously.
“No! And don’t say anything about it, he’d probably go insane.”
I nodded. “Sure thing.”
Lying on my bed, thinking about the old times. My session ended an hour ago, and I had nothing else to do. I couldn’t wait to get out of here. Maybe my parents would stop paying for it if I just said I wouldn’t attempt suicide again? But that’s a lie. I know I would once I got out. Maybe there’s something here that I could use.
David is my roommate, and he’s as silent as I am. He stares at the ceiling like I do, examining it for non existent cracks and flaws. He sighs and rolls over on his side, his back facing me. I decide to say something.
“Does it always suck this much?”
“It gets worse. But sometimes it’s okay,” he responds quickly, “sometimes they have good dinners or lunches. And there’s a work out room.”
“Is group always that,” I pause for the right word, “painful?” He laughs at me and nods.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.”
“You know, Frank, shaving your legs isn’t all that bad, I can see why girls do it,” Gerard commented, feeling up and down his shins. There was no trace of hair on them. “It’s all smooth and nice to the touch.”
“Sure, Gee. Have you seen Mikey?”
“I think he went to his house.” Gerard pulled his pant leg down. “Ray called and said he saw him go in there, I’m not sure if he’s still there.”
“We’ve got to do something about him,” I said. “I’m tired of him going there to be so alone, he knows he has us.”
“Let’s go,” At the time, it seemed like a good idea to check on Mikey, but when we found him and Ray making out at the bottom of the staircase, Gerard was irate.
“THIS IS WHAT YOU’VE BEEN DOING THE PAST THREE WEEKS?!” he roared. Mikey tried to back away from him, but was blocked by the bottom three steps. “You’ve been using mom as a fucking excuse to make out with Ray?!” Gerard turned his attention towards Ray, Mikey took his hand for comfort. “And you, that’s disgusting. You’re fourteen! He’s ten! Ray, I thought you had better judgment than that!”
I sat behind Gerard, cross legged, playing with the dirt and discarded nails. A few steps were missing on the staircase, the seventh and the second to last. One of them had half caved in.
Ray stood up to Gerard. “I do have judgment, Gerard! Do you think I would just go off with some ten year old because I felt like it?! I really like Mikey, I have since I met him. Why can’t you just be happy about that?”
“Because I don’t want him to get hurt again!” Gerard shouted. I looked up from my small pile of nails. Gerard held out his hand. “C’mon Mikey, let’s go,” but Mikey shook his head.
“No, I want to stay with Ray,” he actually refused Gerard. The scene was becoming more interesting than my pile of nails by the second.
“So did Mikey stop seeing Ray?” he asks.
“No, he didn’t. They met at that house everyday, and Gerard gave up on caring about it.”
“What about you? What did you have to say about it?”
“Nothing, really. I didn’t care; Mikey had gotten what he wanted. I was glad for him.”
“Were you?” he asks. He doesn’t trust me. The bastard doesn’t trust me. Would I lie about any of this? Would I say something that weren’t true about Mikey? I watch the clock. Twenty-five more minutes of this shit.
“Yes, yes I was.” I say forcefully. “Mikey finally found something that took his mind off his mom.”
“What about your mom? You’ve never told me about her.”
“Oh, well, she’s really a great mom. She takes care of me, but doesn’t baby me. She was best friends with Gerard and Mikey’s mom.”
“Do you have any other friends?”
“Not really. Just those three. I was so excited for school; I knew it was going to be the best with Mikey there. We were going to be in the same class, and Ray and Gee had a few classes together, like choir and math.” And now Gee and I are going to be alone again. Only he will have graduated, and I’ll have absolutely no one with me in high school. A lump swells in my throat at the thought of it.
“What about Gerard’s dad?”
“Gerard, where’s your brother?” Gee’s dad called from the kitchen. “It’s nearly dinner, and he hasn’t been home for an hour,”
“He’s with Ray,” Gee and I were watching a movie in his living room. Some horror movie about a girl who walks through a house in her night gown and then gets slashed up. Well, that could be any horror movie, but this one was better than the other ones.
“What do those to do?” his dad teased. “They’re always together, aren’t they? Well, when they aren’t with you two.” He brought us plates full of food. Gee’s dad had proved himself a wonderful cook. “You two finish up and then go find him, he can’t be far.”
I wish we would have savored those precious mouthfuls. I left Gerard’s house after I was done, thanking his dad for the food and set out for home. Gerard walked on the other side of the street towards Mikey’s house. When I got home, I collapsed on my bed. One more week, and then school will start.
A few more weeks until school would start, and then the homework would start pouring in. I’d get to spend my days in the study hall, listening to Bert humming his own made up tunes and watching Quinn doze off with his headphones on. David was constantly writing things. I asked him what he was writing one day, and he said he was writing to his girlfriend.
I asked Bert about it later. “Yeah, they are. But his girlfriend’s dead. Why do you think he tried to kill himself?” I shuddered. I felt so bad for David; I knew what it was like to lose someone that you loved.
CRASH. I had dozed off for only a few moments, but was woken up by a crash coming from across the street. I looked out my window to see what had happened. Mikey’s house was lying in a pile of rubble.
“Oh god, please don’t let them have been in there,” I prayed, grabbing my jacket and running out of the house. I found Gerard on his knees outside the house, his face buried in his hands.
“Gerard, what happened?!” I said it loudly. I tried to keep my voice down, but so much panic was there that I couldn’t help it.
“I tried to get them out, but they told me to go away, and then when they finally started to go down the stairs,” but he started crying. I felt my chin quivering.
“Gerard, they aren’t, oh god, please no,” I cry. I ran towards the house, trying to find a hole, anything, that would let me in. Nothing. There was nothing. Only a small opening that appeared to be completely black. I looked in, calling out Mikey and Ray’s names. No reply. My eyes adjusted to the darkness.
“No,” I saw a hand barely on top of a pile of collapsed wood. “No, god, no, NO!” I tried to reach it, but it was no use. If my head was clear at the time, I probably would have realized that the hand was ten feet away. I screamed Mikey’s name, expecting a reply, needing a reply. Tears were streaming down my cheeks; the fingers of the hand didn’t move, nothing moved, just the dust, which was beginning to settle.
Nothing came. I realized that my arm was still extending, reaching out for Mikey, I didn’t want him to be gone. Someone was tugging at my shoulders, willing me to move. I held on tight to the frame of the opening, telling the person to go away. I had to save Mikey.
“Frank, honey, Mikey’s gone,” it was mom. I turned around; her face was stained with tears, her eyes red and puffy. I had never seen mom like this before. My crying became worse and she took me in her arms. I looked at the sidewalk, and found Gee and his dad kneeling together, his dad’s arm around his shoulder, both of them crying tears that were more frequent and bigger than my own.
“Who found you the first time you tried to commit suicide?” he asks, crossing his legs and folding his hands, setting them on his lap.
“My mom, she came in to say that lunch was ready. I heard her saying to dad later on that she had yelled and screamed, and when I didn’t wake up, she called 911. Dad had been at work.”
“How long ago was that?”
“Three years ago, about a year after Mikey and Ray died.”
“What about the second time?”
“My mom, again. I was sitting in my room, my dad was at work, and she was doing the laundry downstairs. I knew where my dad hid a gun, in case of intruders or criminals or something, so I went into their room and took it. I went back to my room because I didn’t want to make a mess in my parent’s,
“Anyway, I had a lot of hesitations, when I pulled the trigger the first time, the gun didn’t go off because the safety was on. So the second time I tried not to hesitate, and just to pull the trigger. But mom walked in on me, carrying a basket of folded clothes. She dropped them and stared at me.” Her eyes were the worst part about it. I hadn’t ever seen her eyes like that.
“Can I go?” I ask after a long silence. “I don’t want to say anything else, so can I just go?”
“We still have ten minutes,” he says, slightly tilting his head. So I don’t say anything for the next ten minutes and rush out of the room before he has time to get up and open the door for me.
Archived at: inxourxdesign