bleh bleh bleh

[bestthingaround]

- feelings. all the feelings.
- I want it to be last year, in the program, with a community
- and not have to give so much to the job.
- ughhhh just you. I like everything about you, you're so great, and asdfghjmn where is this coming from.
- ugh I hate I got so drunk and acted ridiculous.
+ but man, it was a good night. youuuuuu
+ and you look at me in these ways and I think you feel things but I want more than these little bits. 
+ losing weight, though.
+ and closer to driving. 
+ and doing good at work. Not so taxing. 
+ and wii! yay!
- but john, I miss him so. 
- and rod. and the old group. again, not being included. 
- and that I could probably lift right out of here so easily and no one would blink. 
+ but that's a good thing, right? That I could be somewhere else soon, something new?
+ and that the boy texted me and is encouraging me and I get to see him soon? travel soon?
+ and that generally I feel better about everything and don't feel so lonely and know that I'm fun and people care
+ just, work hard. enjoy him. enjoy when you can be with them. go do things, it might be harder, but you can do it. 
- just: feeeeeelings.