well.
well i know i shouldnt been writing in this . i dont know nobody uses it anymore. but i just need to let some things out . i type better than i write lol.
well its not to long til im out of school. almost 3 weeks and I graduate. I've been waiting for this for so long . Im so excited , im scared and everything else in the book. I'm scared that i wont do whats right for me. I'll make the wrong desicions and choose fun .. instead of trying to better myself for the future. I'm scared about when i do succeed and get a car and an apartment that i wont take care of my responisblities. I want to do something that help me get a careerr and a good business job. And if that means going to school then so be it. I'll suffer through it. I know i can do that. I have to make myself know when the "break" is over. Nobodys gonna be looking after me anymore, I have to go my ways. Of course my dad is going to be up my ass but not like that, im gonna have too feen for myself. Take what i deserve and not look back. Im not going to let people run all over me either.
On the better note, well so i think. I think that i will get into a relationship this summer. I want to, i havent been in one for a long time. I'm talking about a real relationship, not summer get togethers and shit. I have my heart on my shoulder for someone. I dont know how its going to turn out. But im hoping for the best and that hes telling the truth about me being what he wants. I have a lot of thinking to do before hand. That's what i want so bad, just him. If not, im sure i can find another one. Plenty around. But there just something about him that makes me confused and not want to give up sometimes. I'm so gulible when it comes down to this shit. I'll fall for anything. Fucking ridulous. Anyways, Schools almost over and like i always say, i just have to wait and see.
Well another thing about moving is that I'll be leaving my family.The family members close to me just to be in a shitty ass town to start off. I know it sounds crazy, its temperary. But It kills me everytime i think that i will be leaving my mom. She keeps me sane, so i know i cant do it for it long. I wish that she would just wake up one day and say im moving. lol i know that wont happen . But hopefully one day things will take a step and she will . My gram needs me, if she knows it or not. I know she does, but she doesnt want me to care for her, and worry all the time . Which i do anyways. But i decided that she needs me more at this point of time. There are a lot of family problems down here, but i know that my mom can over come this and get through it . If you can do it once, you can do it again.
See all of shit is on my mind and its really breaking me down, this is only half of it. I could never describe what im feeling inside into words. But just like i get through everything else with a little support , I can get through this then.
well its not to long til im out of school. almost 3 weeks and I graduate. I've been waiting for this for so long . Im so excited , im scared and everything else in the book. I'm scared that i wont do whats right for me. I'll make the wrong desicions and choose fun .. instead of trying to better myself for the future. I'm scared about when i do succeed and get a car and an apartment that i wont take care of my responisblities. I want to do something that help me get a careerr and a good business job. And if that means going to school then so be it. I'll suffer through it. I know i can do that. I have to make myself know when the "break" is over. Nobodys gonna be looking after me anymore, I have to go my ways. Of course my dad is going to be up my ass but not like that, im gonna have too feen for myself. Take what i deserve and not look back. Im not going to let people run all over me either.
On the better note, well so i think. I think that i will get into a relationship this summer. I want to, i havent been in one for a long time. I'm talking about a real relationship, not summer get togethers and shit. I have my heart on my shoulder for someone. I dont know how its going to turn out. But im hoping for the best and that hes telling the truth about me being what he wants. I have a lot of thinking to do before hand. That's what i want so bad, just him. If not, im sure i can find another one. Plenty around. But there just something about him that makes me confused and not want to give up sometimes. I'm so gulible when it comes down to this shit. I'll fall for anything. Fucking ridulous. Anyways, Schools almost over and like i always say, i just have to wait and see.
Well another thing about moving is that I'll be leaving my family.The family members close to me just to be in a shitty ass town to start off. I know it sounds crazy, its temperary. But It kills me everytime i think that i will be leaving my mom. She keeps me sane, so i know i cant do it for it long. I wish that she would just wake up one day and say im moving. lol i know that wont happen . But hopefully one day things will take a step and she will . My gram needs me, if she knows it or not. I know she does, but she doesnt want me to care for her, and worry all the time . Which i do anyways. But i decided that she needs me more at this point of time. There are a lot of family problems down here, but i know that my mom can over come this and get through it . If you can do it once, you can do it again.
See all of shit is on my mind and its really breaking me down, this is only half of it. I could never describe what im feeling inside into words. But just like i get through everything else with a little support , I can get through this then.