(no subject)
So I thought I would boycott Livejournal for a while but turns out I need some type of expression so here goes:
I fucking hate this place. I don't know what I was thinking. It satsifys the alcoholic in me and that's all I can say for it. I want to be home. I want to be with people who understand me without me having to explain myself. I want to be able to have fun without being judged all the time. I want to go to shows and rock out with pam. I want to go and dance with kelli. I want to go shopping with Rahul.
I am in the library right now people here have to think im a nutcase because im sitting here with tears streaming down my cheecks. You would think that maybe I should just go home to do this but no, the dorm is not any better. I want to go home home.
I feel like I'm loosing touch with the people that mean the most to me.
I feel like I'm missing out on so much.
I don't even know why I'm here. I don't want to be at school. I don't want to work one job the rest of my life. I'm not that kind of person. I want to work a decent job for like a year and then save all that money and travel somewhere and spend all of it... then get another job and keep travelling the world until I see all I want to see. Then my life will be complete. My life will not be complete if I become a professional at some career just because thats what everyone else does.
I dont know if sheer delirium from no sleep is making me say this or this damned Healthy Lifestyles project that mkaes you basically try to map out your life but something needs to change. I can't keep going on like this. I miss people too much. I miss the person I was. WHat the fuck am I doing joining a sorority? seriously. me? what the fuck was I thinking. I think im going to de-activate. This is not who I am.
I fucking hate this place. I don't know what I was thinking. It satsifys the alcoholic in me and that's all I can say for it. I want to be home. I want to be with people who understand me without me having to explain myself. I want to be able to have fun without being judged all the time. I want to go to shows and rock out with pam. I want to go and dance with kelli. I want to go shopping with Rahul.
I am in the library right now people here have to think im a nutcase because im sitting here with tears streaming down my cheecks. You would think that maybe I should just go home to do this but no, the dorm is not any better. I want to go home home.
I feel like I'm loosing touch with the people that mean the most to me.
I feel like I'm missing out on so much.
I don't even know why I'm here. I don't want to be at school. I don't want to work one job the rest of my life. I'm not that kind of person. I want to work a decent job for like a year and then save all that money and travel somewhere and spend all of it... then get another job and keep travelling the world until I see all I want to see. Then my life will be complete. My life will not be complete if I become a professional at some career just because thats what everyone else does.
I dont know if sheer delirium from no sleep is making me say this or this damned Healthy Lifestyles project that mkaes you basically try to map out your life but something needs to change. I can't keep going on like this. I miss people too much. I miss the person I was. WHat the fuck am I doing joining a sorority? seriously. me? what the fuck was I thinking. I think im going to de-activate. This is not who I am.