FIC for goneoffthelump
FOR: goneoffthelump
FROM: shocolate
TITLE: Five Is An Odd Number (1/2)
RATING: NC-17
WORDS: 17,482
SUMMARY: Why isn't there a book of all the ridiculous things that you just don't find out, being dragged up by Muggles?
DISCLAIMER: The Harry Potter and Ron Weasley portrayed within are fictional and of age and can fondle and probe whatever they want to; they do not belong to me, they just make my life worth living.
GENRE: Romance, Humour
WARNINGS: Mentions of various canon and as-canon-as-Harry/Ron pairings, which means het pairings, obviously. Also, oodles of rimming.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: My sweet, you asked for such, such loveliness, and I had a ball writing for you… even if it ended up being just a little bit… strange… but the Wizarding World is a very strange place… So many thanks to my M&M for the beta.
Five Is An Odd Number (1/2)
~~~*~~~
Even though Ron and I had already started work, we received owls from Professor McGonagall, informing us that the school was reopening, and that we were more than welcome to return and do our NEWTs.
I wasn’t tempted for a moment.
And I wasn't surprised that Hermione decided to go back, with Ginny.
I was surprised by a conversation we had with Neville, at the Leaky Cauldron.
He'd owled us to meet him and he'd beaten us there and was at the bar, chatting to Hannah, when we arrived.
He'd waved and pointed at a distant table and we'd crossed the room, nodding to grateful thankers every few feet. Ron and I sat down, side by side, watching Neville levitating a tray of drinks over to us.
"Cheers," I said, taking my pint and a long pull.
"Cheers," he echoed, sitting opposite us and fiddling with a beer mat.
"Everything alright?" Ron asked him.
"Yeah, 'course," he said. "I just wondered what you were doing about school."
"Taking the piss out of Hermione for going back," Ron said cheerfully.
"Oh dear," Neville said. "She's definitely going back, then?"
"Yeah," Ron said.
"Oh dear."
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Well, obviously Ginny's going back," he said.
"Yeah, 'course," I confirmed.
"And, well, selfish, I know," Neville said, shrugging his shoulders. "But I rather hoped Hermione was leaving school, which would leave you available, Harry."
"Available?" I echoed.
"Of course, you'll be with Ron," he said.
"Well, most of the time," I said. "But you know you'll always be welcome."
He made a strangled noise and flushed scarlet.
"What?" I said.
"You don't have to say that," he said, looking rather flustered. "You and Ron, obviously; I always knew five was an odd number."
"Always was, Nev," Ron said.
"That's a bit anti-social, isn't it?" I asked Ron.
"No," Ron said incredulously.
"Look, not a problem," Neville said quickly, "it's just I told Hannah I'd check what Hermione was doing."
"I didn't think Hermione and Hannah were that close," I said, slightly wrong footed by this change of subject.
"Well, no," Neville said, frowning slightly. "It's just that now we'll get married."
"Married?" I spluttered. "I mean, um, congratulations. No, I mean, um, what?"
"Nice choice," Ron said, as if it was a normal conversation.
"Neville, look," I said. "I'm confused. All I'm getting here is Hermione is going back to school, so you're getting married."
"Yeah," Neville said.
"There is nothing that can link those two events," I said firmly. "What on earth are you two talking about?"
"Hannah asked what we were going to do," Neville said slowly, as if he was talking to an idiot. "And I said it depended on Ron."
"Yeah," Ron said, and I glared at him.
"If Hermione was leaving school," Neville went on, "then they'd get married, and that'd leave you available, and I'd state my case, such as it was."
"Don't put yourself down," Ron said sternly. "I always told you not to do that."
"Well, look at him," Neville said and Ron grunted and I had no idea what they were talking about.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said. "And Ron and Hermione aren't getting married."
"Because she's going back to school," Neville said patiently.
"Because they're eighteen!" I scoffed.
Neville looked confused.
"Well, exactly," Ron said.
"If you two don't explain what is going on, I am gonna scream," I said flatly.
"Ron isn't getting married, so he'll be with you, so I can marry Hannah."
I glared at him.
"You… really don't know what I'm talking about, do you?" he asked slowly.
"No!" I said.
"You're… kidding me," Ron breathed.
"If… um…" Neville sighed. "When you're eighteen, you either get married, or you live with a partner."
"You say that like it's a rule," I said.
"Yeah," they said, in unison.
"All our parents got married right out of school," Ron pointed out.
"Because they had to?" I demanded.
"Well, not had to, had to," Ron said, miming a pregnant belly. "Just had to."
"Or what?"
"Or it damages your Magical Core," Neville said.
"If you're not married?" I scoffed.
"Or with a Partner," Neville corrected me.
"Wait, what?" I said. "What d'you mean 'Partner'?"
"It's not the married," Neville said. "It's the… sex."
I made a strange gurgling sound and was aware of Ron going very still, beside me, his leg that had been pressed companionably against mine moving abruptly away and leaving me feeling cold.
"Sex?" I whispered.
"If you're eighteen and out of school," Neville explained, "your Core weakens unless you have regular sex. Hermione is still at school, so she doesn't need to do anything about it, but if she left school, then she and Ron would get married."
"Really?" I breathed, half turning to half look at him.
"I reckon," he said, shrugging one shoulder.
"And then I'd… well, I'd have made a total tit of myself, offering to be with you," Neville said sadly.
"That's what you meant by 'available'?" I asked. "You wanted to be my…"
"It would be an honour," Neville said solemnly. "But, of course, Ron…"
I finally turned to look Ron in the eye.
He looked wretched.
"Ron," I said carefully. "When Hermione goes back to school, and we're living together at Grimmauld Place, were you assuming we'd be… lovers?"
"Partners," Ron muttered. "It's a big deal, Harry. Very important."
"You didn't, um, mention it," I said weakly.
"Everyone assumed," Neville put in helpfully.
"No one else I could be with," Ron said. "Honest."
"I have no idea what I'm supposed to say," I said. "None."
"You really didn't know," he said hollowly.
"Well, you never told me," I protested. "You know I rely on you for stuff like this; not that I'd ever imagined there could be stuff like this."
"Sorry," he muttered.
"And does Hermione know about this?"
"Oh, she must do," Ron said. "She knows everything."
"But you never discussed it with her?"
"Well, no one could be less 'married and babies at eighteen' than Hermione," he said. "And even before I thought me and her would get together, I've just always assumed she knew about you and me."
"Christ," I muttered. "And everyone else…"
"Luna's going back to school," Neville said. "So of course Dean and Seamus…"
"An odd number," I murmured.
He nodded. "I always knew it'd be the four of you," he said.
"Why can't you ask… Parvati?"
"Because she's a girl!" Neville said. "You can't do that… not without getting married."
"But I know people who've already left school," I complained. "I'd have heard…"
"You don't really pay much attention to things like this," Ron said.
"Your brothers!"
"Yeah."
"Your brothers did this?"
"Of course," Ron said. "Percy is still with Oliver."
"Oliver, Oliver?" I gasped.
Ron nodded.
"The twins?" I asked tentatively.
"Well, Fred and Angelina eloped," Ron said. "Don't tell my mum, she thinks he had a Partner."
I snorted.
"And of course George is with Lee," Ron went on.
"Of course," I echoed weakly. "And that's our choice, is it? Marry at eighteen, or be queer?"
"No!" Neville gasped. "It's not queer; if you're queer I guess you Partner for ever, but you can still marry Ginny, when the girls finish school, unless they maybe want to Partner, for a bit. And then you can both wait for both of them, which works out well."
"Both?" I said.
"You'd both have to find a Secondary Partner, or get married, if you part," Ron explained. "It's a Bonding thing."
"Poor Professor Lupin," Neville said.
"Yeah," Ron said.
"Why?" I asked, not really wanting to know.
"Well, even though Sirius was in prison," Ron said. "They were still Partners."
"What?"
"That's what damages you most, in Azkaban," Neville said. "Not so much the Dementors, but being suddenly apart from your wife, or your Partner."
"I always thought Sirius's Core wasn't so badly damaged because he spent so much time as Padfoot," Ron said. "But Remus was in a pretty bad way. And he could never marry, or anything, not while… Sirius was alive."
I looked back and forth, between them, wondering how I'd missed so much.
"Ron, I… I…"
"I'm sorry," he said. "I… I really thought you knew. I've gotta go."
And, before I could stop him, he got up and left.
"This is all my fault," Neville said. "I am so sorry."
"Um, no," I said, staring after my best mate and, apparently, Partner. "Can you imagine if I'd only found out when Ron climbed into bed with me?"
"Shit," Neville said, stifling a laugh. "Oh, shit, Harry. What are you gonna do?"
"What am I gonna do?"
Neville shrugged.
"Look, Nev," I said. "Start at the beginning; what don't I know?"
"Oh, Merlin, Harry," he protested. "I can't be the one who teaches you this stuff."
"Well, someone had better, and now, and I think you just got promoted," I said. "I really can't ask anyone else, not when Ron… Ron…"
He sighed and rasped a hand on his stubbly jaw.
"Right," he said. "It's the build up of sexual… energy that attacks your Core, interferes with your Magic. As a child, you start off… soft… squidgy… and then as a teenager… wanking is enough to keep things more or less under control, until your Core hardens and is… mature. Then wanking or seeing a… professional…"
He grimaced.
"A prostitute?" I asked. "Your Magic doesn't work unless you go to a prostitute?"
"Um, well, yes…," he said, ears flushing. "That'll take the edge off, and I suppose Professor Lupin probably had to… but your Magic can tell you're not Bonded, not Partners, so it's not the same."
"But everyone?" I asked. "Voldemort?"
"Fuck," he said. "I don't want to think about that. I, um… suppose he had to, once he got his body back… didn't need a wobbly Core when he faced you…"
"But… who?"
"I don't want to know," he said. "Some unmarried Death Eater, I suppose. Probably… you know, Pettigrew wouldn't have been in too bad shape, what with what you said about him living as an animal…"
I shuddered.
"Back to people we care about," he said firmly. "Madam Pomfrey will be able to do something for Hermione… not like that," he gasped, as my eyebrows rose. "She'll cast something on her, to protect her. 'Specially as she wasn't at school all last year, and she was already eighteen."
"It affected her last year?" I demanded. "Is she gonna be okay?"
"I… dunno… yeah, it… it wasn't that long."
"Fuck, another thing I did to hurt them," I moaned. "Ron came with me, knowing that they'd be eighteen and not married and he didn't… and we didn't…"
"Harry, they're fine," he interrupted. "Stop doing this. Right. So. You're both eighteen, now, and he'll be your Partner… and you really couldn't tell? Merlin, Harry, the way you've always taken care of each other..."
"Is there a … ceremony or something?" I asked. "I don't think I could tell the world that I was gonna…"
"No," he said. "Your Magics just recognise it when you are first… together, and you mean it."
"And then that's it?" I said. "We're together until we both want to get married?"
"That's simplest," he agreed. "Finding people at the same time, if you do ever Part. But say Hermione leaves school and wants to get married, but Ginny doesn't; well, you and Ron have a Last Time, and it hurts to tear your Magics apart, but then he can marry her… and you can either marry, or find a Secondary Partner, but it'd never be as good."
"But we don't have to Part?" I asked "And does it still hurt, to part, even if we both get married?"
"Absolutely, you don't have to Part," he said seriously. "And you and Ron… I always wondered what'd happen… if you happened before they got married. And it'd hurt, yes; it's important Magic, Harry, not just… sleeping together. That's why it's a lot simpler to get married straight away, without a chain of Secondary Partners complicating things."
"And why it hurt so much that Sirius and Remus were just… Parted, without a Last Time?"
"Yeah."
"Wow."
"But you'll be okay - if you Part, you can both just wait for Hermione and Ginny - no need for Secondaries."
"Yeah," I said weakly, thinking of Ron, and his stricken face, as he'd left the pub. "No need for anyone else. So, are all wizards and witches… bisexual?"
"Pretty flexible, yeah," he said. "I've heard Muggles don't… acknowledge it, but did you never have any… urges?"
I blushed.
"Well, you know," I shrugged. "When you're sixteen and live in a bedroom with naked blokes and all those… four poster beds… pretty much everything gives you 'urges'. But I don't think I ever thought of acting on them. And Ron... my… my Ron… and you… did you… urges?"
He smiled. "Let's say I was always a big fan of the idea of Ron and Hermione getting together."
"Oh, Neville," I said. "I…"
"Doesn't matter," he interrupted. "It couldn't be anyone but Ron, everyone knows that."
"If my brain wasn't trying to claw its way out of my eye sockets at having to understand the whole concept," I said, "I'd totally have been Ron's best man and honoured to be your…"
I nodded at him, vaguely.
"That means a lot, Harry," he said. "It really does. Hannah will be… touched, too. But you know you're gonna have to talk to Ron about this. He thinks you don't want him."
"I know I have to, but not yet," I protested, "it's too soon. And there's a difference between actively not wanting someone and not knowing you could want them. Surely he can see that?"
"Can you want him?" Neville asked. "It must be one hell of a thing to adjust to."
"I think I can," I said slowly. "It's… Ron."
"Can I make a suggestion?" he asked.
"Absolutely."
"Why don't you talk to Ron's brother?"
"George?"
"Good lord, no! But I know you know Bill pretty well, and he's been through it all, and I reckon he'd be pretty good at the advice…"
"That's a brilliant, idea," I said. "I reckon Bill knows what's what."
So, we finished our pints in amicable silence and I clapped Neville on the shoulder and Apparated to Bill and Fleur's garden. The sound of the waves, below me, was soothing and familiar and the summer evening sun illuminated Dobby's gravestone as I stood and gathered my thoughts before knocking on the door of the familiar cottage where we'd taken refuge and planned our insane bank raid.
Bill opened the door and his scarred face split with a happy smile before automatically looking past my shoulder, for Ron, and frowning.
"Everything okay?" he asked.
"Everything's fine," I said quickly. "Ron's fine, I just need some… advice…"
"Come in, come in," he said, standing aside and ushering me into the cosy room where Ron and I had slept side by side.
Which hardly narrows things down, does it? I've slept beside him for seven years, would it really make that much difference if we slept, slept together?
Fuck.
Well, yes, exactly.
I obviously looked confused, because he pressed down on my shoulders to sit me on his couch and sat opposite me, examining my face carefully.
"Fleur's out," he said.
"Um… good," I said, fiddling with the seam of my jeans.
"What's wrong, Harry?" he prompted.
"I just found out," I said. "I never knew… everyone assumes I'll…"
"Good lord, now what?" he demanded. "Haven't you done enough?"
"Oh, nothing like that," I said firmly. "Nothing like death, this time. It's just… just? God. I… I never heard of this whole Partners and Magical Cores thing, before."
His eyebrows shot up, under his fringe, and for a frozen moment I thought Ron and Neville had been winding me up.
"Never heard of it?" he finally croaked. "Good lord, that's … dangerous… 'though who would have taught you… Dad should have said something… but then, of course, the three of you disappeared… Ron should have said… oh. Ron."
"Yeah," I said.
"Did he… don't tell me, he… touched you and you hit him. I know how some Muggles…"
"No!" I protested "Neville asked us if Hermione was leaving school… because then she'd... marry Ron and he… um, Neville… he could… offer… offer to… to me… for me… with me?"
I huffed and shrugged.
"And that was the first you'd ever heard of it?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said weakly. "And when Ron realised, he got all embarrassed and left… I suppose because he'd known… and thought… and I never knew… and then Neville explained… stuff, but he's never actually… I mean he says he'll get married, now, because I'm… taken, but… but Ron left and… how do I even…"
"Ron is yours," Bill said firmly. "He's embarrassed, but he'll be the easiest thing to sort out, once you get your head round things. Don't worry about him."
"Mine?" I asked faintly, feeling a blush rising up my neck.
"Yours."
"But how d'we even… what…"
"I'll tell you what I've done, shall I?" he asked. "Explain how things worked, for me, anyway, and I've done just about everything you need to know about."
"Please," I begged.
"Right." He took a deep breath. "I had a best mate all through school, Stuart; we were just like you and Ron and we always knew we'd Partner; never wanted to get married straight out of school, both wanted some adventures, first; so, we left school, we got jobs in banking, we got sent out to Egypt, and, on our first night there, we became Partners. And our first time together, my Magic simply sank into his. I've never felt anything like it, Harry, I promise you, it's the most intimate experience of my entire life."
"But… Fleur… you…"
"I'm not sure what the difference is," he mused. "I adore Fleur, I'm with her for life, but our Bonding, well, it's every other type of physical… a marriage, at least at the beginning - half of it is in public, at the ceremony - and look how well that ended - and only half of it, when you… sleep together. I think… I hope a marriage grows and strengthens, gradually, as you share things, but you don't share your Magic, not in the same way. With Stuart, well… also it was our first first time and I'd never had anyone of my very own, before, and I felt his Magic inside me and it was hot and there was this huge, African moon."
He shrugged.
"Wow," I croaked.
He gave a crooked, very Ron-like grin.
"Oh, wow indeed," he confirmed.
"But you… Parted," I said. "How could you stand it?"
"Well, we're neither of us queer," he said. "Although even that doesn't matter, sometimes. Sometimes, you just stay together, it's that… intense. But we always knew we'd want to marry, one day, we were both from big families, and knew we wanted kids; and then I met Fleur, when I came to see you in the Tri-Wizard, but she was still at school, so I mentioned it to Stuart, and he started looking. That's when things can get complicated, when you have an age difference and end up having to juggle Partnerships."
"What happened?" I asked.
"He ran into Maud, this great girl who'd been a year or two below us at school, and she'd Partnered with a friend, too, but now she wanted to settle down, and they started seeing rather a lot of each other; double dated with Fleur and me, when she moved to London. They decided to get married straight away, because she'd seen a bit of the world, and what have you; wanted babies. I couldn't blame her; she had pretty good taste, after all, wanting my Stuart. But Fleur only wanted to get engaged, being that much younger. So, even though it'd been me who started the whole Parting thing, I was the one left without anyone."
"I remember you getting engaged - no one mentioned all this Partner swapping."
He shrugged. "It's private," he said.
"Sorry."
"No, it's fine. I don’t mind talking about it. There were Stuart and Maud, getting married; me needing a Secondary Partner, until Fleur wanted to settle down; Fleur needing a Partner who knew it wasn't a long term thing; Maud's ex needing a Secondary, because the man she was in love with had just lost his Partner, and didn't want to get married. You keeping up?"
"Yes," I said slowly. "You and Fleur needed…"
"Taking care of," he confirmed. "So Maud's ex… she went with Fleur, which was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen."
"You... watched?" I gasped.
"It's not… usual," he admitted. "But the effect Fleur has on me, and it was her first time… and she was so beautiful… her face as she…"
"Wow," I croaked.
He cleared his throat.
"And Fleur was safe," he said, "and I'd be safe, until she wanted to get married, and her Partner kept an eye on me and my Secondary, hoping I'd take good care of him, hoping he'd get better and believe she wanted him, by the time she and Fleur had to part."
"And what was it like, with a Secondary Partner?" I found myself asking.
"Nothing like what it was with Stuart," he said. "It's nothing like as strong a bond, and he was very… damaged by his Partnership ending."
"So, what happened?" I asked. "Did she convince him, by the time you and Fleur got married."
"Oh, Tonks was pretty persuasive, yes," he said carefully.
"Tonks?"
"Yes."
"Tonks and Fleur?" I almost moaned.
"Yes," he said, looking as if he knew exactly what I was trying very hard not to think.
"And you and Remus?"
"Yes," he said gently. "He was a very damaged man. All those years without Sirius had hurt him, badly. That, on top of the age difference and the werewolf thing - no wonder he didn't think he'd ever be whole enough for her. But I did my best to heal him, and he saw how… gentle, how protective she could be, with Fleur, and the four of us parted and we got married and things were working out, just fine."
"Wait," I said. "He came straight to you and Fleur, didn't he? To tell you that Tonks had had the baby."
"Yeah," he said. "There will always be something there, afterwards. I know you and Ron will always have something special."
"If he ever speaks to me, again," I muttered.
"He's just embarrassed," Bill assured me. "He's spent years happily picturing the two of you together, imagining your first time, wondering what your Magic feels like… and now he finds out you never knew."
"Oh, god," I said.
"Now he's probably trying to edit out all his… compromising memories of you, all the times he saw you in the shower and didn't look away, just… admired you… looked forward to you… being inside him."
"Inside him?" I echoed.
"He probably thinks he isn't entitled to those thoughts," Bill said sadly. "You'll have to convince him that he is."
"Inside him?" I repeated. "I'd never thought of…"
"But now you are," Bill said quietly.
Now I was.
Now I was picturing Ron lying beneath me, gazing up at me, needing me, trusting me to take care of him.
"Yes," I croaked.
"So go and find him," Bill said.
"Not yet," I protested. "There are other people involved."
"No, there aren't," Bill said. "Trust me, everyone else knows…"
"Exactly," I interrupted. "I… I have to see Ginny… does she really assume…? Because I thought we… and talk to Hermione, because Ron just assumed, but if she doesn't know…"
Bill nodded seriously.
"You're a good friend," he said. "She'll appreciate it. And you're the best Partner my little brother could ever have found. I'm proud of him; proud of you both."
I ducked my head in thanks and he led me to the fireplace, holding out the pot of powder and waiting as I Flooed to the Burrow, to find Ginny.
Ginny and I weren't quite on again.
I had assumed we were waiting until she finished school; now I assumed she'd assumed I'd be too busy buggering her brother. Just the thought of Ginny picturing such a thing - although why would she, because I had always assumed that Ron and Hermione would be accessing each other's equipment, but I had never actually pictured it - distracted me enough to trip and sprawl full length on the kitchen floor, as I arrived at the Burrow.
"Ginny, Harry's here," Mrs Weasley called up the stairs, as Mr Weasley took my hand and helped me to my feet.
"Thanks," I muttered, doubly wrong footed by the thought that her parents thought I'd be keeping my cock safe up Ron's arse, while I waited for Ginny's bits to become available. I bit my tongue to control a wild urge to assure them I'd wash it, first.
How long had they assumed… known?
Did they discuss it? Had Ron told them?
Don't fuss, Mum, I'll be fine. Too much Quidditch leaving you with arse muscles too tight to sodomise is just an old witches' tale.
Ginny thundered daintily down the stairs and ushered her parents out of the room.
"Hey, you," she said, putting the kettle on, "you look positively green; what's wrong?"
"I thought green suits me?" I said vaguely.
She snorted.
"You certainly look freshly pickled," she confirmed, sitting down with two mugs of tea and sugaring mine, for me.
"Look," I said, gratefully wrapping my hands around it. "This is gonna sound really big headed, and stuff, but… I kinda assumed you're expecting me to propose, the minute you finish school."
"Oh," she said. "And is this you… warning me that you will… or that you won't?"
"Neither, really."
"'Cos you know I want to play Quidditch," she said.
"I only just found out that the two were pretty much mutually exclusive."
"Big words, Harry."
I sighed, heavily.
"Look," I said. "There's this Partners thing…"
"I don't want you looking this miserable at the thought of us getting back together," she interrupted. "I always knew you were a year older than me, and, even when we were together, I was kinda glad that you'd be safely Partnered, by the time I left school, so I could happily have a crack at Quidditch. No offence to you - or my parents - but I'm not settling for settling down at eighteen. Who knows when or if we'll both be in that place, at the same time, again."
"I… I thought you'd want to get married," I said.
"You… do you want to get married, next year?" she asked.
"No!" I said, a bit too emphatically, and she gave me a very pointed look. "No, I just thought we'd date, some. A bit. And it would be nice, one day, maybe, to be… you know… married. Probably. In a few years."
"But Harry," she breathed. "That's ridiculous. Reckless. Your Core…"
"I only just found out," I said, in a small voice.
"Found out… what?" she asked tentatively.
"About… Partners," I said.
There was a very loud silence.
"You are fucking kidding me," she said firmly.
I shook my head.
"I thought we… weren't quite on again because you're going back to school," I said. "Not because you expect me to shag your brother."
She winced, like I'd slapped her in the face.
"Partner," she said tightly.
"I'm sorry," I said wearily. "I've only just heard of the whole thing and it's a lot to take in, all at once, and then to Floo here and have your dad take my hand to pull me up from the floor… and I've spent a year trying not to blurt out 'I've only ever touched her through her knickers', and now I know he expects me to twiddle my thumbs up Ron's arse until you're ready and…"
"Harry!" she shouted. "Stop babbling!"
I breathed heavily, watching my hands relax slowly from the tight fists I'd slammed down on the table, and Ginny mopping up the tea I'd spilt.
"You really had no idea," she whispered.
"None," I said. "No one told me."
"Oh, I am so sorry," she said. "I should have…"
"Not you," I broke in. "That was so not your responsibility. We were… that was the most normal I have ever felt, and if you'd… god, even when you kissed me, on my birthday, and Ron freaked out… no one said anything… what if you'd gazed up at me and murmured 'we can't go all the way, Harry, not when you have to fuck Ron, first'?"
She snorted with laughter.
"It's not funny," I protested. "There's me, feeling guilty about touching his sister's boobs, and there's you…"
"Feeling guilty about touching your bits before he did!" She smirked.
"Oh god," I moaned.
She shrugged.
"You… you really always…" I trailed off, helplessly.
"Expected you and Ron to be Partners," she said seriously. "And was half terribly jealous, and half terribly proud of him"
"And it doesn't feel… weird?"
She shook her head. "Feels absolutely normal," she said. "It's what I've always known. And you're an even better catch than Percy and Oliver!"
"But you don't want to access Oliver's equipment," I pointed out.
"What on earth gave you that idea?" she asked, wide eyed.
I groaned and she laughed.
"So… me and Ron?" I prompted.
"Makes me very happy," she confirmed. "As I'm sure he could tell you… Harry, how did you find out? Did Ron… do anything dreadful…"
"Ron ran out of the pub, humiliated that he'd always assumed and I'd never known, when Neville brought up the subject," I assured her.
"Ah, Neville," she said.
"What does 'ah, Neville' mean?" I asked. "You… you knew that he…"
"Me and Neville got very close, last year," she said. "I know he'd have liked Ron and Hermione to be getting married, straight out of school."
"Two of my best male friends," I said, focussing on Neville and ignoring the H-word, because Neville's 'unless they both want to partner, for a bit' was rattling around in the back of my head and once I started thinking about Ginny and Hermione there was no going back. "Both of them wanting to…"
I rolled my eyes, to indicate 'access my wedding tackle', and she rolled hers, back, to indicate I was an idiot.
"It's you, Harry," she said firmly.
"What is?"
"They don't just randomly want to fuck you," she said. "They want you. Ron wants you, and that is what you have to think about. I know you adore him, but can you accept that?"
I nodded, slowly.
"Can you return it?"
"Yes," I whispered, picturing my boy. "I think so."
She smiled what I can only assume was an 'oh, how lovely, my brother and my boyfriend are going to have lots of sweaty sex', smile. I'd only recently become aware that such a thing could exist.
"Where is he?" she asked.
"Home, I assume," I said, shrugging, my assumptions not being up to much, recently.
"So… go and talk to him."
"I don't even know how to start that conversation," I protested. "We're… so close… and he thought… thinks… wants…"
"Then talk to George," she suggested.
"Right," I snorted.
"He and Lee had something like that conversation," she said. "Even if Lee never made such a mess of things. And they want only the best for you and Ron."
I let her hug me and push me into the fire, calling out for the Wheezes before I had a chance to gather my thoughts.
Which was lucky, really, because they'd have been scattered again, for sure, as I stumbled into George's flat, over the shop, to find Lee sprawled bare-chested on the couch, with George wearing nothing but bright green boxers and lying with his head in Lee's lap.
Face up, thank Merlin.
But Lee was smiling, one hand on George's stomach, one tangling in his hair and George was reaching up to tug on Lee's sparse chest hair and how had I never walked in on this, before, and what would I have thought, if I had?
"Whoops," said George, not making any move to stand up. "Pull up a…" he looked around at the mysterious, or lightly smoking, objects piled on the armchairs, "…seat, Harry."
He lifted his legs and waved a gracious hand at the seat thus revealed; I rolled my eyes and slid into it and he dropped his bare feet in my lap. I don't know if I was desensitised to the idea of male flesh, or if it was just that George could get away with behaviour not permitted of mere mortals, but I just patted his freckled foot, companionably, and tried not to picture Ron in a similar state of undress.
I met Lee's eyes and he shrugged and shook his head, smiling fondly.
“I know you know I’ve done some stupid things, in the past,” I said and George snorted. “But I can’t believe I’m about to do this.”
They both looked suitably intrigued.
“I need some advice,” I admitted.
George’s face split with a delighted grin and his feet rose from my lap, as a counterweight in preparation for sitting to mocking attention, before finding Lee’s hand on his shoulder was gently, but firmly, holding him in place.
Anchoring him.
I liked the thought.
“Did you always just assume… or was there a… conversation…” I trailed off, looking at Lee’s fingers stroking George’s collarbone. They looked so comfortable together, and they were no closer than me and Ron… I’d always thought they were no closer than me and Ron.
That no one was any closer than me and Ron.
“I’ve had many conversations,” George said.
“And made too many assumptions,” Lee added.
“You’re…” I gave up and gestured at all the naked skin. “Well… just I’m glad I didn’t get here five minutes earlier…”
“Or later,” George said seriously.
“Right,” I said, “look. I’ve had all my assumptions turned on their head, today, and that includes the one about you needing Ron to work here and take care of you.”
George’s hand rose and touched Lee’s and their fingers caught.
“Ron’s been a big help, getting the shop open,” George confirmed. “But I couldn’t be happier that he’ll be off fighting bad guys, with you, again.”
“And I’m offended,” Lee added, frowning slightly, “that you didn’t think I could take care of him.”
“That is absolutely the thing,” I said. “I thought Ron would be his… closest person… since… and… and family… but…”
“But,” George prompted, sitting up and folding his legs and not realizing his bollocks were visible, down the leg of his boxers.
“I didn’t know about… this,” I said, gesturing at them, again, and wishing they’d get what I was saying without my having to mention their sex life.
“That’s… ridiculous,” George said. “Who’d you think I’d Partnered with?”
“Ah,” I said. “There. That. I only found out about Partners today.”
“That’s… ridiculous,” George said.
“That’s… impossible,” Lee said firmly.
“Yes,” I said, finally having had enough of being the last one to know anything and getting to my feet. “Because you all made sure I’d been told about it. You knew I’d been brought up with Muggles; you knew I knew nothing about the Wizarding World that you hadn’t explained to me. You didn’t just assume that I’d let Ron take me up the arse. I’m obviously in the wrong, here. How stupid it must sound to you that I’d always thought I’d date Ginny when she leaves school, and I’d work and she’d play professionally, and maybe, one day, we’d even get married. Maybe. If we wanted. We wanted. Not… if Hermione wanted to marry Ron and me and Ginny didn’t want to be left in agony.”
I broke off, panting heavily and staring down at the wide eyed Partners.
“I’m so sorry,” George whispered in the ringing silence. “I can’t believe no one ever told you.”
“Why would I make this up?” I asked, collapsing back onto the couch.
“Okay, I believe no one ever told you, but I can’t believe no one ever told you.”
I laughed wearily.
“What happened, today?” Lee asked. “How did you find out?”
“Oh god,” George said. “Don’t tell me Ron stuck his…”
“No!” I interrupted. “Why does everyone assume I’m freaking out because Ron groped me?”
“Well,” George said, shrugging. “It’s his legendary way with women, I suppose, coupled with the way he looks at your arse.”
“I’m not women,” I said petulantly. “And if Ron had decided it was time and done… something, well, I’m pretty sure… I hope I’d just have been baffled, not disgusted, and that I'd've tried to stop him being embarrassed and running out when he realised I wasn’t waiting for him to… which is what happened, by the way.”
“So, he did touch…”
“No!” I snapped. “He ran off, humiliated, when Neville brought up the subject, at the pub, and they were amazed that I’d never heard of it, and Ron watched me realise he’d been expecting…stuff.”
“Fuck,” Lee murmured.
“And plenty of it,” George said.
I rolled my eyes.
“And I’m freaking out, here, because I know I have to go and find him and calm him down and tell him… I think I want to… and not that I’d rather suffer agonies or bridenap his sister.”
“You want to?” George asked.
“’Course he does,” Lee said, his hand settling on George’s thigh and squeezing it. “He’s got good taste.”
“I’m just trying to picture what I’d feel like if I was suddenly and unexpectedly told that Ron wanted to nibble on my bits, that’s all,” George said. “That’s called empathising.”
“That’s called ridiculous,” Lee protested firmly, pinching George’s leg. “It’s what you felt like, George Weasley, when you knew I wanted to nibble on your bits, right Harry?”
“That’s why I’m here,” I said. “Best mates and all that…”
“And you want to know how we decided to Partner?” Lee asked.
“I know it’s not the same,” I said. “Not when one of you isn’t panicking and the other isn't… panicking.”
“Oh, Harry,” George said, shaking his head and leaning back into Lee’s arms, which were automatically there to catch him and make something ache in my chest.
Because Ron was always there, for me, like that, wasn’t he?
“It is the best mates thing,” Lee explained, “and we always knew we’d do it; knew we’d be okay. But that means we never had to have a big serious conversation about it, like you do. People used to take the piss, saying I couldn’t tell the difference, but it was only George. Fred and I were really close, ‘course, but that’s because he knew I’d take care of his brother.”
“That’s why we’ve kept you around,” George said and I nodded.
“I will look after him,” I said. “I promise. Once I calm him down, anyway. He’s probably proposed to Hermione, by now, because he thinks that’s what I want.”
They both laughed.
“As if that’d solve anything, anyway,” I went on. “It’s not as if I expected Neville, either.”
“Expected Neville either, what?” Lee asked.
“That’s how this whole thing started,” I said. “Neville hoped Ron and Hermione were getting married, so he could… offer to… well, but if I was… taken, he and Hannah would get married.”
“Neville?” George said. “Bless him.”
“Wait,” Lee said. “Neville’s not got his heart set on getting married?”
“I s’pose not,” I said. “Seems Hannah was happy for him to… with me… if he wanted. I s’pose she must have someone in mind, if we… had done.”
“Neville,” Lee mused and George sat up straight and turned to glare at him.
“Stop it,” he said firmly.
“But Neville,” Lee said. “Neville would be a good idea, and he wants to Partner, for a bit, anyway.”
“You don’t want Neville,” George protested. “I don’t want you to want Neville.”
“Neville would be more than I could hope for, in a Secondary,” Lee said.
George took his hand, tangling their fingers together and shaking his head and confusing the shit out of me.
“What the hell is going on, now?” I demanded. “Are you… Parting?”
“No,” George said.
“Probably,” Lee said.
“I told you,” George muttered. “Something’ll work itself out. We’ll…”
“Nothing’ll work itself out; nothing better than this,” Lee interrupted.
I cleared my throat.
“It’s Angelina,” Lee said.
“Right,” I said. “Ron said she and… Fred were actually married. Is she gonna be okay? What happens when you’re widowed?”
“You need to get married, again,” Lee said simply.
“So… George feels he has to…” I said, resolutely not thinking about my own, briefly widowed, mother.
“George is right here,” George said grumpily. “And George is going to…”
“Do the right thing,” Lee said, placing a finger on George’s lips to silence him. “Angelina is pregnant,” he explained to me, "she only just found out… after… and there is no way George isn’t gonna take care of things, and I understand.” He turned his head and looked deep into George’s eyes. “I understand. You’re not gonna let her find some other bloke to bring up that kid. I’ll be fine; I’ll go and talk to Neville and ask if he’d be interested. It’s a good offer.”
“The best offer he could hope for,” George said. “Even if the Chosen One hadn’t already Chosen Ron, right Harry?”
“Absolutely,” I said. “Top bloke. Sounds like the right thing to… I mean, I’ve had a really strange day - even for me - but I think doing this so your… mate can bring up his brother’s… Little Fred, is a beautiful…thing. And when I say ‘Little Fred’, I don’t mean…”
I nodded at George’s lap, where some presumably identically twinned balls were still visible.
“Well,” Lee said, pulling George closer and kissing him softly. “That’s the plan, then.”
George nodded slowly and squared his shoulders.
“So, our plan is threefold,” he said.
“It is?” Lee asked.
“Seduce Angelina, Neville and Ron and meet at the Leaky in an hour.”
Lee snorted and I winced.
“You know,” I mused. “I was hoping to be a normal teenager, for a bit. Have a bit of fun. Give up the life or death decisions.”
“That,” George said, unfolding his legs and standing up, "is a load of hippogriff shit.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re joining the Aurors,” he pointed out. “You like life or death decisions. Being Partnered with Ron’ll be the fun bit.”
He ruffled my hair and went to get dressed, leaving me with the bloke who was gonna offer to take my place up Neville’s arse.
“Neville really is the best bloke a bloke could… he’s great,” I finished, before I could say something like ‘take good care of his arse, for me’.
“So’s Ron,” Lee said. “He’d do anything for you, and he’s only embarrassed.”
“There’s being embarrassed because your mate walks in while you’re snogging your girlfriend, and there’s being embarrassed because your mate never realised you want to take him up the… I don’t even know how, Lee,” I finished miserably.
“No one does, their first time,” he said, shrugging. “And Ron may have given it some thought, but he’ll have no idea what he’s doing, either. Working it out together is the good bit. And your Magic will know what’s happening and it’ll be… special.”
He pulled a face at sounding like such a girl and I smiled ruefully.
“I’m gonna do it,” I said firmly.
“Go seduce him,” Lee said. “I won’t expect you at the Leaky, in an hour.”
He went off to his… their bedroom, after his boy, and I went down the stairs and let myself out the back entrance, to go and find mine.
I gave the back entrance a dirty look, for being all suggestive, when I was feeling so fragile, before being rather relieved no one had seen me glaring and setting off up Diagon Alley.
Deciding to have a drink before seducing my boy, I went back into the Leaky. Everything looked completely normal; you'd never know my life had been turned upside down there, only that afternoon. Hannah wasn't behind the bar and I wondered if she and Neville were making wedding plans.
I'd barely taken a sip of my firewhiskey before I was slapped on the back and a cheerful voice said "alright, Harry?"
"Dean, hello, um," I said, stupidly, signalling Tom to bring a drink for my friend as he sat beside me. "How are things?"
"Good," he said, toasting me. "You?"
I wanted to ask him if he knew about Partners - I really wanted to ask him if 'good' included anal sex - but, despite the day's evidence to the contrary, that's not an easy subject to bring up in conversation.
"Fine," I said. "Fine. Starting work, soon."
"Aurors?"
"Well, yes," I admitted, shrugging helplessly. "But I really do want to."
He laughed.
"I believe you," he said.
"And, um, Ginny and Hermione are going back to school."
"Luna, too," he said. "Girls are such sticklers for rules, aren't they?"
"I suspect me and Ron'll have a good few rules to follow, once we start work," I protested.
"I don't think I could go back to being told what to do," Dean said. "Not after last year."
I nodded and raised my glass to him and we both drank.
"So…" I said. "You'll be…"
"I'm thinking of Healer training," he admitted. "They're not insisting on NEWTs, and… after last year."
"Yeah."
"And Seamus?" I asked, still waiting for an opening, and blinking rapidly to get rid of an image of Seamus's opening.
"Games and Sports," Dean said. "Someone has to charm the Quidditch clubs back into shape."
"Ah, if anyone can, it's Seamus," I laughed.
Dean nodded.
"Has Seamus…"
"Has Ron said…"
We looked at each other.
"Does Seamus…" I trailed off again.
It was one thing to ask people how things worked, quite another to ask someone if his best mate had taken him up the arse - with or without warning.
"So," he said, ridiculously nonchalantly, "you're with Ron, then?"
"With," I said. "Um. With?"
Dean was clearly a far better Gryffindor than me.
"With, as in with your tongue up his arse," he said, not meeting my eyes.
"Tongue?" I croaked.
"Not?" he asked.
"No one mentioned tongues," I whined.
Dean closed his eyes wearily.
"Okay," he said. "Are you and Ron together, as in beautifully and sacredly protecting each other's Magical Cores, by beautifully and sacredly and sweatily and filthily fucking each other's brains out?"
"Oh, Dean, how did no one tell us about this?" I babbled. "Although when… yes. Not when you're eleven, obviously, and find out you're a wizard. Although… no. Because when did Ron and Seamus know? Before, yes. So, alright, study the theory in Seventh year, but people pair off before that, and Bill… they're knowing… and thinking… and not us, no. No, not us. Just Seamus and Ron thinking about us and wanting and that's fine, but not telling?"
Dean blinked.
"I take it that's a no?" he said.
"I only found out this afternoon," I croaked. "And Ron ran off, when he realised I've never thought…. I… I have to track him down and make things better."
"I wonder what else we don't know," he mused. "I've given it a bit of thought."
"Oh god," I said.
"Next year we'll go up to the school, for something, and we'll shake McGonagall's hand and Seamus and Ron will stick their tongues down her throat and be all 'what? When you turn nineteen you have to French kiss women over eighty.'"
I laughed.
"French kiss them if you're Partnered," he qualified, "cup them between the legs, once you're married."
"No!"
"Minister's meetings," he went on, waggling his eyebrows. "The Heads of Department, gathered around the table in the Minister's office; whoever speaks has to stick a finger up the minutes secretary's arse."
"That'll be Percy Weasley and that'll explain why Arthur never got promoted," I said weakly.
"Don't tell Hermione the best way to free a house elf," he whispered and I flinched pre-emptively. "They can't wear a condom, when the lady of the house goes down on them, or it counts as clothes…"
"Not funny," I protested.
"Wedding nights," he went on and I shook my head sharply. "Before you get to shag Ginny, you have to shag her mum."
"No!"
"Ginny came out of those… woman's parts, and you have to thank them."
"I'm gonna have to Obliviate myself, now," I said weakly.
"Ah, well," he said. "We get our own back, when Hermione's mum thinks she and Ron have to dance, at his wedding, and Ron tries to lift her skirt and go down on her on the dance floor."
I snorted.
"But it's not as if it's just some odd tradition, is it?" I asked him. "We have to, or our Magic suffers."
He nodded.
"We have to just suck it up and… suck it," he said.
"So," I said. "What happened with you two? Did Seamus say anything before… jumping you?"
"Seamus didn't tell me," Dean said.
"Oh god, what did he do?"
"Nothing," Dean said indignantly. "I meant it wasn't Shay who told me; I already knew about it when he… very solemnly asked me."
"Who?" I demanded. "No one told me."
"Ted," he said sadly.
"Ah."
"He… well, he was Muggleborn," Dean explained. "He wracked his brains for things I was missing out on, Seventh Year. I totally thought he was winding me up, at first, you know?"
"Oh, yes," I said seriously.
"But he convinced me; he was in quite a lot of pain, without his wife. I was… it ached… And he asked me if I had a close friend. A really close friend. And it was good to see you and Ron, and it's been wonderful spending time with Luna. But when I got back to Hogwarts and saw Seamus…"
"Really?" I breathed.
"I know it sounds insane," he said. "But after that year… and when he held me…"
"Wow."
"Being together is amazing," he said. "Healing. And really, really filthy."
"Seamus."
"Yeah."
"I want to take care of Ron like that," I said. "I do."
"Then you'd better go and find him."
"This," I swallowed hard. "You've helped. A lot. I'm gonna go and find Hermione, and…"
"Not Hermione," Dean interrupted. "Ron. You don't need the theory explained to you, you need to touch him."
"It's not the theory," I protested. "I don't care about Magical Theory; I want to know that my Muggleborn Hermione knows about it."
"She's Hermione," Dean said. "She…she must know?"
"I have to check," I said, finishing my drink, slapping him on the back and Flooing to Grimmauld Place, to find Hermione.
And check that she was okay with me bonding with Ron's arse, until she needed it.
Fuck.
To fuck his arse. To watch him tip his head back and clutch at the sheets as I slid inside him.
God, where had that image come from?
Inside him.
Safe.
The thought did make me feel safe. Was this my Magic being drawn to his, or was it because it was my Ron, and he'd always made me feel safe? Or was that the same thing?
... Onward to Part 2
FROM: shocolate
TITLE: Five Is An Odd Number (1/2)
RATING: NC-17
WORDS: 17,482
SUMMARY: Why isn't there a book of all the ridiculous things that you just don't find out, being dragged up by Muggles?
DISCLAIMER: The Harry Potter and Ron Weasley portrayed within are fictional and of age and can fondle and probe whatever they want to; they do not belong to me, they just make my life worth living.
GENRE: Romance, Humour
WARNINGS: Mentions of various canon and as-canon-as-Harry/Ron pairings, which means het pairings, obviously. Also, oodles of rimming.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: My sweet, you asked for such, such loveliness, and I had a ball writing for you… even if it ended up being just a little bit… strange… but the Wizarding World is a very strange place… So many thanks to my M&M for the beta.
Five Is An Odd Number (1/2)
~~~*~~~
Even though Ron and I had already started work, we received owls from Professor McGonagall, informing us that the school was reopening, and that we were more than welcome to return and do our NEWTs.
I wasn’t tempted for a moment.
And I wasn't surprised that Hermione decided to go back, with Ginny.
I was surprised by a conversation we had with Neville, at the Leaky Cauldron.
He'd owled us to meet him and he'd beaten us there and was at the bar, chatting to Hannah, when we arrived.
He'd waved and pointed at a distant table and we'd crossed the room, nodding to grateful thankers every few feet. Ron and I sat down, side by side, watching Neville levitating a tray of drinks over to us.
"Cheers," I said, taking my pint and a long pull.
"Cheers," he echoed, sitting opposite us and fiddling with a beer mat.
"Everything alright?" Ron asked him.
"Yeah, 'course," he said. "I just wondered what you were doing about school."
"Taking the piss out of Hermione for going back," Ron said cheerfully.
"Oh dear," Neville said. "She's definitely going back, then?"
"Yeah," Ron said.
"Oh dear."
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Well, obviously Ginny's going back," he said.
"Yeah, 'course," I confirmed.
"And, well, selfish, I know," Neville said, shrugging his shoulders. "But I rather hoped Hermione was leaving school, which would leave you available, Harry."
"Available?" I echoed.
"Of course, you'll be with Ron," he said.
"Well, most of the time," I said. "But you know you'll always be welcome."
He made a strangled noise and flushed scarlet.
"What?" I said.
"You don't have to say that," he said, looking rather flustered. "You and Ron, obviously; I always knew five was an odd number."
"Always was, Nev," Ron said.
"That's a bit anti-social, isn't it?" I asked Ron.
"No," Ron said incredulously.
"Look, not a problem," Neville said quickly, "it's just I told Hannah I'd check what Hermione was doing."
"I didn't think Hermione and Hannah were that close," I said, slightly wrong footed by this change of subject.
"Well, no," Neville said, frowning slightly. "It's just that now we'll get married."
"Married?" I spluttered. "I mean, um, congratulations. No, I mean, um, what?"
"Nice choice," Ron said, as if it was a normal conversation.
"Neville, look," I said. "I'm confused. All I'm getting here is Hermione is going back to school, so you're getting married."
"Yeah," Neville said.
"There is nothing that can link those two events," I said firmly. "What on earth are you two talking about?"
"Hannah asked what we were going to do," Neville said slowly, as if he was talking to an idiot. "And I said it depended on Ron."
"Yeah," Ron said, and I glared at him.
"If Hermione was leaving school," Neville went on, "then they'd get married, and that'd leave you available, and I'd state my case, such as it was."
"Don't put yourself down," Ron said sternly. "I always told you not to do that."
"Well, look at him," Neville said and Ron grunted and I had no idea what they were talking about.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said. "And Ron and Hermione aren't getting married."
"Because she's going back to school," Neville said patiently.
"Because they're eighteen!" I scoffed.
Neville looked confused.
"Well, exactly," Ron said.
"If you two don't explain what is going on, I am gonna scream," I said flatly.
"Ron isn't getting married, so he'll be with you, so I can marry Hannah."
I glared at him.
"You… really don't know what I'm talking about, do you?" he asked slowly.
"No!" I said.
"You're… kidding me," Ron breathed.
"If… um…" Neville sighed. "When you're eighteen, you either get married, or you live with a partner."
"You say that like it's a rule," I said.
"Yeah," they said, in unison.
"All our parents got married right out of school," Ron pointed out.
"Because they had to?" I demanded.
"Well, not had to, had to," Ron said, miming a pregnant belly. "Just had to."
"Or what?"
"Or it damages your Magical Core," Neville said.
"If you're not married?" I scoffed.
"Or with a Partner," Neville corrected me.
"Wait, what?" I said. "What d'you mean 'Partner'?"
"It's not the married," Neville said. "It's the… sex."
I made a strange gurgling sound and was aware of Ron going very still, beside me, his leg that had been pressed companionably against mine moving abruptly away and leaving me feeling cold.
"Sex?" I whispered.
"If you're eighteen and out of school," Neville explained, "your Core weakens unless you have regular sex. Hermione is still at school, so she doesn't need to do anything about it, but if she left school, then she and Ron would get married."
"Really?" I breathed, half turning to half look at him.
"I reckon," he said, shrugging one shoulder.
"And then I'd… well, I'd have made a total tit of myself, offering to be with you," Neville said sadly.
"That's what you meant by 'available'?" I asked. "You wanted to be my…"
"It would be an honour," Neville said solemnly. "But, of course, Ron…"
I finally turned to look Ron in the eye.
He looked wretched.
"Ron," I said carefully. "When Hermione goes back to school, and we're living together at Grimmauld Place, were you assuming we'd be… lovers?"
"Partners," Ron muttered. "It's a big deal, Harry. Very important."
"You didn't, um, mention it," I said weakly.
"Everyone assumed," Neville put in helpfully.
"No one else I could be with," Ron said. "Honest."
"I have no idea what I'm supposed to say," I said. "None."
"You really didn't know," he said hollowly.
"Well, you never told me," I protested. "You know I rely on you for stuff like this; not that I'd ever imagined there could be stuff like this."
"Sorry," he muttered.
"And does Hermione know about this?"
"Oh, she must do," Ron said. "She knows everything."
"But you never discussed it with her?"
"Well, no one could be less 'married and babies at eighteen' than Hermione," he said. "And even before I thought me and her would get together, I've just always assumed she knew about you and me."
"Christ," I muttered. "And everyone else…"
"Luna's going back to school," Neville said. "So of course Dean and Seamus…"
"An odd number," I murmured.
He nodded. "I always knew it'd be the four of you," he said.
"Why can't you ask… Parvati?"
"Because she's a girl!" Neville said. "You can't do that… not without getting married."
"But I know people who've already left school," I complained. "I'd have heard…"
"You don't really pay much attention to things like this," Ron said.
"Your brothers!"
"Yeah."
"Your brothers did this?"
"Of course," Ron said. "Percy is still with Oliver."
"Oliver, Oliver?" I gasped.
Ron nodded.
"The twins?" I asked tentatively.
"Well, Fred and Angelina eloped," Ron said. "Don't tell my mum, she thinks he had a Partner."
I snorted.
"And of course George is with Lee," Ron went on.
"Of course," I echoed weakly. "And that's our choice, is it? Marry at eighteen, or be queer?"
"No!" Neville gasped. "It's not queer; if you're queer I guess you Partner for ever, but you can still marry Ginny, when the girls finish school, unless they maybe want to Partner, for a bit. And then you can both wait for both of them, which works out well."
"Both?" I said.
"You'd both have to find a Secondary Partner, or get married, if you part," Ron explained. "It's a Bonding thing."
"Poor Professor Lupin," Neville said.
"Yeah," Ron said.
"Why?" I asked, not really wanting to know.
"Well, even though Sirius was in prison," Ron said. "They were still Partners."
"What?"
"That's what damages you most, in Azkaban," Neville said. "Not so much the Dementors, but being suddenly apart from your wife, or your Partner."
"I always thought Sirius's Core wasn't so badly damaged because he spent so much time as Padfoot," Ron said. "But Remus was in a pretty bad way. And he could never marry, or anything, not while… Sirius was alive."
I looked back and forth, between them, wondering how I'd missed so much.
"Ron, I… I…"
"I'm sorry," he said. "I… I really thought you knew. I've gotta go."
And, before I could stop him, he got up and left.
"This is all my fault," Neville said. "I am so sorry."
"Um, no," I said, staring after my best mate and, apparently, Partner. "Can you imagine if I'd only found out when Ron climbed into bed with me?"
"Shit," Neville said, stifling a laugh. "Oh, shit, Harry. What are you gonna do?"
"What am I gonna do?"
Neville shrugged.
"Look, Nev," I said. "Start at the beginning; what don't I know?"
"Oh, Merlin, Harry," he protested. "I can't be the one who teaches you this stuff."
"Well, someone had better, and now, and I think you just got promoted," I said. "I really can't ask anyone else, not when Ron… Ron…"
He sighed and rasped a hand on his stubbly jaw.
"Right," he said. "It's the build up of sexual… energy that attacks your Core, interferes with your Magic. As a child, you start off… soft… squidgy… and then as a teenager… wanking is enough to keep things more or less under control, until your Core hardens and is… mature. Then wanking or seeing a… professional…"
He grimaced.
"A prostitute?" I asked. "Your Magic doesn't work unless you go to a prostitute?"
"Um, well, yes…," he said, ears flushing. "That'll take the edge off, and I suppose Professor Lupin probably had to… but your Magic can tell you're not Bonded, not Partners, so it's not the same."
"But everyone?" I asked. "Voldemort?"
"Fuck," he said. "I don't want to think about that. I, um… suppose he had to, once he got his body back… didn't need a wobbly Core when he faced you…"
"But… who?"
"I don't want to know," he said. "Some unmarried Death Eater, I suppose. Probably… you know, Pettigrew wouldn't have been in too bad shape, what with what you said about him living as an animal…"
I shuddered.
"Back to people we care about," he said firmly. "Madam Pomfrey will be able to do something for Hermione… not like that," he gasped, as my eyebrows rose. "She'll cast something on her, to protect her. 'Specially as she wasn't at school all last year, and she was already eighteen."
"It affected her last year?" I demanded. "Is she gonna be okay?"
"I… dunno… yeah, it… it wasn't that long."
"Fuck, another thing I did to hurt them," I moaned. "Ron came with me, knowing that they'd be eighteen and not married and he didn't… and we didn't…"
"Harry, they're fine," he interrupted. "Stop doing this. Right. So. You're both eighteen, now, and he'll be your Partner… and you really couldn't tell? Merlin, Harry, the way you've always taken care of each other..."
"Is there a … ceremony or something?" I asked. "I don't think I could tell the world that I was gonna…"
"No," he said. "Your Magics just recognise it when you are first… together, and you mean it."
"And then that's it?" I said. "We're together until we both want to get married?"
"That's simplest," he agreed. "Finding people at the same time, if you do ever Part. But say Hermione leaves school and wants to get married, but Ginny doesn't; well, you and Ron have a Last Time, and it hurts to tear your Magics apart, but then he can marry her… and you can either marry, or find a Secondary Partner, but it'd never be as good."
"But we don't have to Part?" I asked "And does it still hurt, to part, even if we both get married?"
"Absolutely, you don't have to Part," he said seriously. "And you and Ron… I always wondered what'd happen… if you happened before they got married. And it'd hurt, yes; it's important Magic, Harry, not just… sleeping together. That's why it's a lot simpler to get married straight away, without a chain of Secondary Partners complicating things."
"And why it hurt so much that Sirius and Remus were just… Parted, without a Last Time?"
"Yeah."
"Wow."
"But you'll be okay - if you Part, you can both just wait for Hermione and Ginny - no need for Secondaries."
"Yeah," I said weakly, thinking of Ron, and his stricken face, as he'd left the pub. "No need for anyone else. So, are all wizards and witches… bisexual?"
"Pretty flexible, yeah," he said. "I've heard Muggles don't… acknowledge it, but did you never have any… urges?"
I blushed.
"Well, you know," I shrugged. "When you're sixteen and live in a bedroom with naked blokes and all those… four poster beds… pretty much everything gives you 'urges'. But I don't think I ever thought of acting on them. And Ron... my… my Ron… and you… did you… urges?"
He smiled. "Let's say I was always a big fan of the idea of Ron and Hermione getting together."
"Oh, Neville," I said. "I…"
"Doesn't matter," he interrupted. "It couldn't be anyone but Ron, everyone knows that."
"If my brain wasn't trying to claw its way out of my eye sockets at having to understand the whole concept," I said, "I'd totally have been Ron's best man and honoured to be your…"
I nodded at him, vaguely.
"That means a lot, Harry," he said. "It really does. Hannah will be… touched, too. But you know you're gonna have to talk to Ron about this. He thinks you don't want him."
"I know I have to, but not yet," I protested, "it's too soon. And there's a difference between actively not wanting someone and not knowing you could want them. Surely he can see that?"
"Can you want him?" Neville asked. "It must be one hell of a thing to adjust to."
"I think I can," I said slowly. "It's… Ron."
"Can I make a suggestion?" he asked.
"Absolutely."
"Why don't you talk to Ron's brother?"
"George?"
"Good lord, no! But I know you know Bill pretty well, and he's been through it all, and I reckon he'd be pretty good at the advice…"
"That's a brilliant, idea," I said. "I reckon Bill knows what's what."
So, we finished our pints in amicable silence and I clapped Neville on the shoulder and Apparated to Bill and Fleur's garden. The sound of the waves, below me, was soothing and familiar and the summer evening sun illuminated Dobby's gravestone as I stood and gathered my thoughts before knocking on the door of the familiar cottage where we'd taken refuge and planned our insane bank raid.
Bill opened the door and his scarred face split with a happy smile before automatically looking past my shoulder, for Ron, and frowning.
"Everything okay?" he asked.
"Everything's fine," I said quickly. "Ron's fine, I just need some… advice…"
"Come in, come in," he said, standing aside and ushering me into the cosy room where Ron and I had slept side by side.
Which hardly narrows things down, does it? I've slept beside him for seven years, would it really make that much difference if we slept, slept together?
Fuck.
Well, yes, exactly.
I obviously looked confused, because he pressed down on my shoulders to sit me on his couch and sat opposite me, examining my face carefully.
"Fleur's out," he said.
"Um… good," I said, fiddling with the seam of my jeans.
"What's wrong, Harry?" he prompted.
"I just found out," I said. "I never knew… everyone assumes I'll…"
"Good lord, now what?" he demanded. "Haven't you done enough?"
"Oh, nothing like that," I said firmly. "Nothing like death, this time. It's just… just? God. I… I never heard of this whole Partners and Magical Cores thing, before."
His eyebrows shot up, under his fringe, and for a frozen moment I thought Ron and Neville had been winding me up.
"Never heard of it?" he finally croaked. "Good lord, that's … dangerous… 'though who would have taught you… Dad should have said something… but then, of course, the three of you disappeared… Ron should have said… oh. Ron."
"Yeah," I said.
"Did he… don't tell me, he… touched you and you hit him. I know how some Muggles…"
"No!" I protested "Neville asked us if Hermione was leaving school… because then she'd... marry Ron and he… um, Neville… he could… offer… offer to… to me… for me… with me?"
I huffed and shrugged.
"And that was the first you'd ever heard of it?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said weakly. "And when Ron realised, he got all embarrassed and left… I suppose because he'd known… and thought… and I never knew… and then Neville explained… stuff, but he's never actually… I mean he says he'll get married, now, because I'm… taken, but… but Ron left and… how do I even…"
"Ron is yours," Bill said firmly. "He's embarrassed, but he'll be the easiest thing to sort out, once you get your head round things. Don't worry about him."
"Mine?" I asked faintly, feeling a blush rising up my neck.
"Yours."
"But how d'we even… what…"
"I'll tell you what I've done, shall I?" he asked. "Explain how things worked, for me, anyway, and I've done just about everything you need to know about."
"Please," I begged.
"Right." He took a deep breath. "I had a best mate all through school, Stuart; we were just like you and Ron and we always knew we'd Partner; never wanted to get married straight out of school, both wanted some adventures, first; so, we left school, we got jobs in banking, we got sent out to Egypt, and, on our first night there, we became Partners. And our first time together, my Magic simply sank into his. I've never felt anything like it, Harry, I promise you, it's the most intimate experience of my entire life."
"But… Fleur… you…"
"I'm not sure what the difference is," he mused. "I adore Fleur, I'm with her for life, but our Bonding, well, it's every other type of physical… a marriage, at least at the beginning - half of it is in public, at the ceremony - and look how well that ended - and only half of it, when you… sleep together. I think… I hope a marriage grows and strengthens, gradually, as you share things, but you don't share your Magic, not in the same way. With Stuart, well… also it was our first first time and I'd never had anyone of my very own, before, and I felt his Magic inside me and it was hot and there was this huge, African moon."
He shrugged.
"Wow," I croaked.
He gave a crooked, very Ron-like grin.
"Oh, wow indeed," he confirmed.
"But you… Parted," I said. "How could you stand it?"
"Well, we're neither of us queer," he said. "Although even that doesn't matter, sometimes. Sometimes, you just stay together, it's that… intense. But we always knew we'd want to marry, one day, we were both from big families, and knew we wanted kids; and then I met Fleur, when I came to see you in the Tri-Wizard, but she was still at school, so I mentioned it to Stuart, and he started looking. That's when things can get complicated, when you have an age difference and end up having to juggle Partnerships."
"What happened?" I asked.
"He ran into Maud, this great girl who'd been a year or two below us at school, and she'd Partnered with a friend, too, but now she wanted to settle down, and they started seeing rather a lot of each other; double dated with Fleur and me, when she moved to London. They decided to get married straight away, because she'd seen a bit of the world, and what have you; wanted babies. I couldn't blame her; she had pretty good taste, after all, wanting my Stuart. But Fleur only wanted to get engaged, being that much younger. So, even though it'd been me who started the whole Parting thing, I was the one left without anyone."
"I remember you getting engaged - no one mentioned all this Partner swapping."
He shrugged. "It's private," he said.
"Sorry."
"No, it's fine. I don’t mind talking about it. There were Stuart and Maud, getting married; me needing a Secondary Partner, until Fleur wanted to settle down; Fleur needing a Partner who knew it wasn't a long term thing; Maud's ex needing a Secondary, because the man she was in love with had just lost his Partner, and didn't want to get married. You keeping up?"
"Yes," I said slowly. "You and Fleur needed…"
"Taking care of," he confirmed. "So Maud's ex… she went with Fleur, which was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen."
"You... watched?" I gasped.
"It's not… usual," he admitted. "But the effect Fleur has on me, and it was her first time… and she was so beautiful… her face as she…"
"Wow," I croaked.
He cleared his throat.
"And Fleur was safe," he said, "and I'd be safe, until she wanted to get married, and her Partner kept an eye on me and my Secondary, hoping I'd take good care of him, hoping he'd get better and believe she wanted him, by the time she and Fleur had to part."
"And what was it like, with a Secondary Partner?" I found myself asking.
"Nothing like what it was with Stuart," he said. "It's nothing like as strong a bond, and he was very… damaged by his Partnership ending."
"So, what happened?" I asked. "Did she convince him, by the time you and Fleur got married."
"Oh, Tonks was pretty persuasive, yes," he said carefully.
"Tonks?"
"Yes."
"Tonks and Fleur?" I almost moaned.
"Yes," he said, looking as if he knew exactly what I was trying very hard not to think.
"And you and Remus?"
"Yes," he said gently. "He was a very damaged man. All those years without Sirius had hurt him, badly. That, on top of the age difference and the werewolf thing - no wonder he didn't think he'd ever be whole enough for her. But I did my best to heal him, and he saw how… gentle, how protective she could be, with Fleur, and the four of us parted and we got married and things were working out, just fine."
"Wait," I said. "He came straight to you and Fleur, didn't he? To tell you that Tonks had had the baby."
"Yeah," he said. "There will always be something there, afterwards. I know you and Ron will always have something special."
"If he ever speaks to me, again," I muttered.
"He's just embarrassed," Bill assured me. "He's spent years happily picturing the two of you together, imagining your first time, wondering what your Magic feels like… and now he finds out you never knew."
"Oh, god," I said.
"Now he's probably trying to edit out all his… compromising memories of you, all the times he saw you in the shower and didn't look away, just… admired you… looked forward to you… being inside him."
"Inside him?" I echoed.
"He probably thinks he isn't entitled to those thoughts," Bill said sadly. "You'll have to convince him that he is."
"Inside him?" I repeated. "I'd never thought of…"
"But now you are," Bill said quietly.
Now I was.
Now I was picturing Ron lying beneath me, gazing up at me, needing me, trusting me to take care of him.
"Yes," I croaked.
"So go and find him," Bill said.
"Not yet," I protested. "There are other people involved."
"No, there aren't," Bill said. "Trust me, everyone else knows…"
"Exactly," I interrupted. "I… I have to see Ginny… does she really assume…? Because I thought we… and talk to Hermione, because Ron just assumed, but if she doesn't know…"
Bill nodded seriously.
"You're a good friend," he said. "She'll appreciate it. And you're the best Partner my little brother could ever have found. I'm proud of him; proud of you both."
I ducked my head in thanks and he led me to the fireplace, holding out the pot of powder and waiting as I Flooed to the Burrow, to find Ginny.
Ginny and I weren't quite on again.
I had assumed we were waiting until she finished school; now I assumed she'd assumed I'd be too busy buggering her brother. Just the thought of Ginny picturing such a thing - although why would she, because I had always assumed that Ron and Hermione would be accessing each other's equipment, but I had never actually pictured it - distracted me enough to trip and sprawl full length on the kitchen floor, as I arrived at the Burrow.
"Ginny, Harry's here," Mrs Weasley called up the stairs, as Mr Weasley took my hand and helped me to my feet.
"Thanks," I muttered, doubly wrong footed by the thought that her parents thought I'd be keeping my cock safe up Ron's arse, while I waited for Ginny's bits to become available. I bit my tongue to control a wild urge to assure them I'd wash it, first.
How long had they assumed… known?
Did they discuss it? Had Ron told them?
Don't fuss, Mum, I'll be fine. Too much Quidditch leaving you with arse muscles too tight to sodomise is just an old witches' tale.
Ginny thundered daintily down the stairs and ushered her parents out of the room.
"Hey, you," she said, putting the kettle on, "you look positively green; what's wrong?"
"I thought green suits me?" I said vaguely.
She snorted.
"You certainly look freshly pickled," she confirmed, sitting down with two mugs of tea and sugaring mine, for me.
"Look," I said, gratefully wrapping my hands around it. "This is gonna sound really big headed, and stuff, but… I kinda assumed you're expecting me to propose, the minute you finish school."
"Oh," she said. "And is this you… warning me that you will… or that you won't?"
"Neither, really."
"'Cos you know I want to play Quidditch," she said.
"I only just found out that the two were pretty much mutually exclusive."
"Big words, Harry."
I sighed, heavily.
"Look," I said. "There's this Partners thing…"
"I don't want you looking this miserable at the thought of us getting back together," she interrupted. "I always knew you were a year older than me, and, even when we were together, I was kinda glad that you'd be safely Partnered, by the time I left school, so I could happily have a crack at Quidditch. No offence to you - or my parents - but I'm not settling for settling down at eighteen. Who knows when or if we'll both be in that place, at the same time, again."
"I… I thought you'd want to get married," I said.
"You… do you want to get married, next year?" she asked.
"No!" I said, a bit too emphatically, and she gave me a very pointed look. "No, I just thought we'd date, some. A bit. And it would be nice, one day, maybe, to be… you know… married. Probably. In a few years."
"But Harry," she breathed. "That's ridiculous. Reckless. Your Core…"
"I only just found out," I said, in a small voice.
"Found out… what?" she asked tentatively.
"About… Partners," I said.
There was a very loud silence.
"You are fucking kidding me," she said firmly.
I shook my head.
"I thought we… weren't quite on again because you're going back to school," I said. "Not because you expect me to shag your brother."
She winced, like I'd slapped her in the face.
"Partner," she said tightly.
"I'm sorry," I said wearily. "I've only just heard of the whole thing and it's a lot to take in, all at once, and then to Floo here and have your dad take my hand to pull me up from the floor… and I've spent a year trying not to blurt out 'I've only ever touched her through her knickers', and now I know he expects me to twiddle my thumbs up Ron's arse until you're ready and…"
"Harry!" she shouted. "Stop babbling!"
I breathed heavily, watching my hands relax slowly from the tight fists I'd slammed down on the table, and Ginny mopping up the tea I'd spilt.
"You really had no idea," she whispered.
"None," I said. "No one told me."
"Oh, I am so sorry," she said. "I should have…"
"Not you," I broke in. "That was so not your responsibility. We were… that was the most normal I have ever felt, and if you'd… god, even when you kissed me, on my birthday, and Ron freaked out… no one said anything… what if you'd gazed up at me and murmured 'we can't go all the way, Harry, not when you have to fuck Ron, first'?"
She snorted with laughter.
"It's not funny," I protested. "There's me, feeling guilty about touching his sister's boobs, and there's you…"
"Feeling guilty about touching your bits before he did!" She smirked.
"Oh god," I moaned.
She shrugged.
"You… you really always…" I trailed off, helplessly.
"Expected you and Ron to be Partners," she said seriously. "And was half terribly jealous, and half terribly proud of him"
"And it doesn't feel… weird?"
She shook her head. "Feels absolutely normal," she said. "It's what I've always known. And you're an even better catch than Percy and Oliver!"
"But you don't want to access Oliver's equipment," I pointed out.
"What on earth gave you that idea?" she asked, wide eyed.
I groaned and she laughed.
"So… me and Ron?" I prompted.
"Makes me very happy," she confirmed. "As I'm sure he could tell you… Harry, how did you find out? Did Ron… do anything dreadful…"
"Ron ran out of the pub, humiliated that he'd always assumed and I'd never known, when Neville brought up the subject," I assured her.
"Ah, Neville," she said.
"What does 'ah, Neville' mean?" I asked. "You… you knew that he…"
"Me and Neville got very close, last year," she said. "I know he'd have liked Ron and Hermione to be getting married, straight out of school."
"Two of my best male friends," I said, focussing on Neville and ignoring the H-word, because Neville's 'unless they both want to partner, for a bit' was rattling around in the back of my head and once I started thinking about Ginny and Hermione there was no going back. "Both of them wanting to…"
I rolled my eyes, to indicate 'access my wedding tackle', and she rolled hers, back, to indicate I was an idiot.
"It's you, Harry," she said firmly.
"What is?"
"They don't just randomly want to fuck you," she said. "They want you. Ron wants you, and that is what you have to think about. I know you adore him, but can you accept that?"
I nodded, slowly.
"Can you return it?"
"Yes," I whispered, picturing my boy. "I think so."
She smiled what I can only assume was an 'oh, how lovely, my brother and my boyfriend are going to have lots of sweaty sex', smile. I'd only recently become aware that such a thing could exist.
"Where is he?" she asked.
"Home, I assume," I said, shrugging, my assumptions not being up to much, recently.
"So… go and talk to him."
"I don't even know how to start that conversation," I protested. "We're… so close… and he thought… thinks… wants…"
"Then talk to George," she suggested.
"Right," I snorted.
"He and Lee had something like that conversation," she said. "Even if Lee never made such a mess of things. And they want only the best for you and Ron."
I let her hug me and push me into the fire, calling out for the Wheezes before I had a chance to gather my thoughts.
Which was lucky, really, because they'd have been scattered again, for sure, as I stumbled into George's flat, over the shop, to find Lee sprawled bare-chested on the couch, with George wearing nothing but bright green boxers and lying with his head in Lee's lap.
Face up, thank Merlin.
But Lee was smiling, one hand on George's stomach, one tangling in his hair and George was reaching up to tug on Lee's sparse chest hair and how had I never walked in on this, before, and what would I have thought, if I had?
"Whoops," said George, not making any move to stand up. "Pull up a…" he looked around at the mysterious, or lightly smoking, objects piled on the armchairs, "…seat, Harry."
He lifted his legs and waved a gracious hand at the seat thus revealed; I rolled my eyes and slid into it and he dropped his bare feet in my lap. I don't know if I was desensitised to the idea of male flesh, or if it was just that George could get away with behaviour not permitted of mere mortals, but I just patted his freckled foot, companionably, and tried not to picture Ron in a similar state of undress.
I met Lee's eyes and he shrugged and shook his head, smiling fondly.
“I know you know I’ve done some stupid things, in the past,” I said and George snorted. “But I can’t believe I’m about to do this.”
They both looked suitably intrigued.
“I need some advice,” I admitted.
George’s face split with a delighted grin and his feet rose from my lap, as a counterweight in preparation for sitting to mocking attention, before finding Lee’s hand on his shoulder was gently, but firmly, holding him in place.
Anchoring him.
I liked the thought.
“Did you always just assume… or was there a… conversation…” I trailed off, looking at Lee’s fingers stroking George’s collarbone. They looked so comfortable together, and they were no closer than me and Ron… I’d always thought they were no closer than me and Ron.
That no one was any closer than me and Ron.
“I’ve had many conversations,” George said.
“And made too many assumptions,” Lee added.
“You’re…” I gave up and gestured at all the naked skin. “Well… just I’m glad I didn’t get here five minutes earlier…”
“Or later,” George said seriously.
“Right,” I said, “look. I’ve had all my assumptions turned on their head, today, and that includes the one about you needing Ron to work here and take care of you.”
George’s hand rose and touched Lee’s and their fingers caught.
“Ron’s been a big help, getting the shop open,” George confirmed. “But I couldn’t be happier that he’ll be off fighting bad guys, with you, again.”
“And I’m offended,” Lee added, frowning slightly, “that you didn’t think I could take care of him.”
“That is absolutely the thing,” I said. “I thought Ron would be his… closest person… since… and… and family… but…”
“But,” George prompted, sitting up and folding his legs and not realizing his bollocks were visible, down the leg of his boxers.
“I didn’t know about… this,” I said, gesturing at them, again, and wishing they’d get what I was saying without my having to mention their sex life.
“That’s… ridiculous,” George said. “Who’d you think I’d Partnered with?”
“Ah,” I said. “There. That. I only found out about Partners today.”
“That’s… ridiculous,” George said.
“That’s… impossible,” Lee said firmly.
“Yes,” I said, finally having had enough of being the last one to know anything and getting to my feet. “Because you all made sure I’d been told about it. You knew I’d been brought up with Muggles; you knew I knew nothing about the Wizarding World that you hadn’t explained to me. You didn’t just assume that I’d let Ron take me up the arse. I’m obviously in the wrong, here. How stupid it must sound to you that I’d always thought I’d date Ginny when she leaves school, and I’d work and she’d play professionally, and maybe, one day, we’d even get married. Maybe. If we wanted. We wanted. Not… if Hermione wanted to marry Ron and me and Ginny didn’t want to be left in agony.”
I broke off, panting heavily and staring down at the wide eyed Partners.
“I’m so sorry,” George whispered in the ringing silence. “I can’t believe no one ever told you.”
“Why would I make this up?” I asked, collapsing back onto the couch.
“Okay, I believe no one ever told you, but I can’t believe no one ever told you.”
I laughed wearily.
“What happened, today?” Lee asked. “How did you find out?”
“Oh god,” George said. “Don’t tell me Ron stuck his…”
“No!” I interrupted. “Why does everyone assume I’m freaking out because Ron groped me?”
“Well,” George said, shrugging. “It’s his legendary way with women, I suppose, coupled with the way he looks at your arse.”
“I’m not women,” I said petulantly. “And if Ron had decided it was time and done… something, well, I’m pretty sure… I hope I’d just have been baffled, not disgusted, and that I'd've tried to stop him being embarrassed and running out when he realised I wasn’t waiting for him to… which is what happened, by the way.”
“So, he did touch…”
“No!” I snapped. “He ran off, humiliated, when Neville brought up the subject, at the pub, and they were amazed that I’d never heard of it, and Ron watched me realise he’d been expecting…stuff.”
“Fuck,” Lee murmured.
“And plenty of it,” George said.
I rolled my eyes.
“And I’m freaking out, here, because I know I have to go and find him and calm him down and tell him… I think I want to… and not that I’d rather suffer agonies or bridenap his sister.”
“You want to?” George asked.
“’Course he does,” Lee said, his hand settling on George’s thigh and squeezing it. “He’s got good taste.”
“I’m just trying to picture what I’d feel like if I was suddenly and unexpectedly told that Ron wanted to nibble on my bits, that’s all,” George said. “That’s called empathising.”
“That’s called ridiculous,” Lee protested firmly, pinching George’s leg. “It’s what you felt like, George Weasley, when you knew I wanted to nibble on your bits, right Harry?”
“That’s why I’m here,” I said. “Best mates and all that…”
“And you want to know how we decided to Partner?” Lee asked.
“I know it’s not the same,” I said. “Not when one of you isn’t panicking and the other isn't… panicking.”
“Oh, Harry,” George said, shaking his head and leaning back into Lee’s arms, which were automatically there to catch him and make something ache in my chest.
Because Ron was always there, for me, like that, wasn’t he?
“It is the best mates thing,” Lee explained, “and we always knew we’d do it; knew we’d be okay. But that means we never had to have a big serious conversation about it, like you do. People used to take the piss, saying I couldn’t tell the difference, but it was only George. Fred and I were really close, ‘course, but that’s because he knew I’d take care of his brother.”
“That’s why we’ve kept you around,” George said and I nodded.
“I will look after him,” I said. “I promise. Once I calm him down, anyway. He’s probably proposed to Hermione, by now, because he thinks that’s what I want.”
They both laughed.
“As if that’d solve anything, anyway,” I went on. “It’s not as if I expected Neville, either.”
“Expected Neville either, what?” Lee asked.
“That’s how this whole thing started,” I said. “Neville hoped Ron and Hermione were getting married, so he could… offer to… well, but if I was… taken, he and Hannah would get married.”
“Neville?” George said. “Bless him.”
“Wait,” Lee said. “Neville’s not got his heart set on getting married?”
“I s’pose not,” I said. “Seems Hannah was happy for him to… with me… if he wanted. I s’pose she must have someone in mind, if we… had done.”
“Neville,” Lee mused and George sat up straight and turned to glare at him.
“Stop it,” he said firmly.
“But Neville,” Lee said. “Neville would be a good idea, and he wants to Partner, for a bit, anyway.”
“You don’t want Neville,” George protested. “I don’t want you to want Neville.”
“Neville would be more than I could hope for, in a Secondary,” Lee said.
George took his hand, tangling their fingers together and shaking his head and confusing the shit out of me.
“What the hell is going on, now?” I demanded. “Are you… Parting?”
“No,” George said.
“Probably,” Lee said.
“I told you,” George muttered. “Something’ll work itself out. We’ll…”
“Nothing’ll work itself out; nothing better than this,” Lee interrupted.
I cleared my throat.
“It’s Angelina,” Lee said.
“Right,” I said. “Ron said she and… Fred were actually married. Is she gonna be okay? What happens when you’re widowed?”
“You need to get married, again,” Lee said simply.
“So… George feels he has to…” I said, resolutely not thinking about my own, briefly widowed, mother.
“George is right here,” George said grumpily. “And George is going to…”
“Do the right thing,” Lee said, placing a finger on George’s lips to silence him. “Angelina is pregnant,” he explained to me, "she only just found out… after… and there is no way George isn’t gonna take care of things, and I understand.” He turned his head and looked deep into George’s eyes. “I understand. You’re not gonna let her find some other bloke to bring up that kid. I’ll be fine; I’ll go and talk to Neville and ask if he’d be interested. It’s a good offer.”
“The best offer he could hope for,” George said. “Even if the Chosen One hadn’t already Chosen Ron, right Harry?”
“Absolutely,” I said. “Top bloke. Sounds like the right thing to… I mean, I’ve had a really strange day - even for me - but I think doing this so your… mate can bring up his brother’s… Little Fred, is a beautiful…thing. And when I say ‘Little Fred’, I don’t mean…”
I nodded at George’s lap, where some presumably identically twinned balls were still visible.
“Well,” Lee said, pulling George closer and kissing him softly. “That’s the plan, then.”
George nodded slowly and squared his shoulders.
“So, our plan is threefold,” he said.
“It is?” Lee asked.
“Seduce Angelina, Neville and Ron and meet at the Leaky in an hour.”
Lee snorted and I winced.
“You know,” I mused. “I was hoping to be a normal teenager, for a bit. Have a bit of fun. Give up the life or death decisions.”
“That,” George said, unfolding his legs and standing up, "is a load of hippogriff shit.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re joining the Aurors,” he pointed out. “You like life or death decisions. Being Partnered with Ron’ll be the fun bit.”
He ruffled my hair and went to get dressed, leaving me with the bloke who was gonna offer to take my place up Neville’s arse.
“Neville really is the best bloke a bloke could… he’s great,” I finished, before I could say something like ‘take good care of his arse, for me’.
“So’s Ron,” Lee said. “He’d do anything for you, and he’s only embarrassed.”
“There’s being embarrassed because your mate walks in while you’re snogging your girlfriend, and there’s being embarrassed because your mate never realised you want to take him up the… I don’t even know how, Lee,” I finished miserably.
“No one does, their first time,” he said, shrugging. “And Ron may have given it some thought, but he’ll have no idea what he’s doing, either. Working it out together is the good bit. And your Magic will know what’s happening and it’ll be… special.”
He pulled a face at sounding like such a girl and I smiled ruefully.
“I’m gonna do it,” I said firmly.
“Go seduce him,” Lee said. “I won’t expect you at the Leaky, in an hour.”
He went off to his… their bedroom, after his boy, and I went down the stairs and let myself out the back entrance, to go and find mine.
I gave the back entrance a dirty look, for being all suggestive, when I was feeling so fragile, before being rather relieved no one had seen me glaring and setting off up Diagon Alley.
Deciding to have a drink before seducing my boy, I went back into the Leaky. Everything looked completely normal; you'd never know my life had been turned upside down there, only that afternoon. Hannah wasn't behind the bar and I wondered if she and Neville were making wedding plans.
I'd barely taken a sip of my firewhiskey before I was slapped on the back and a cheerful voice said "alright, Harry?"
"Dean, hello, um," I said, stupidly, signalling Tom to bring a drink for my friend as he sat beside me. "How are things?"
"Good," he said, toasting me. "You?"
I wanted to ask him if he knew about Partners - I really wanted to ask him if 'good' included anal sex - but, despite the day's evidence to the contrary, that's not an easy subject to bring up in conversation.
"Fine," I said. "Fine. Starting work, soon."
"Aurors?"
"Well, yes," I admitted, shrugging helplessly. "But I really do want to."
He laughed.
"I believe you," he said.
"And, um, Ginny and Hermione are going back to school."
"Luna, too," he said. "Girls are such sticklers for rules, aren't they?"
"I suspect me and Ron'll have a good few rules to follow, once we start work," I protested.
"I don't think I could go back to being told what to do," Dean said. "Not after last year."
I nodded and raised my glass to him and we both drank.
"So…" I said. "You'll be…"
"I'm thinking of Healer training," he admitted. "They're not insisting on NEWTs, and… after last year."
"Yeah."
"And Seamus?" I asked, still waiting for an opening, and blinking rapidly to get rid of an image of Seamus's opening.
"Games and Sports," Dean said. "Someone has to charm the Quidditch clubs back into shape."
"Ah, if anyone can, it's Seamus," I laughed.
Dean nodded.
"Has Seamus…"
"Has Ron said…"
We looked at each other.
"Does Seamus…" I trailed off again.
It was one thing to ask people how things worked, quite another to ask someone if his best mate had taken him up the arse - with or without warning.
"So," he said, ridiculously nonchalantly, "you're with Ron, then?"
"With," I said. "Um. With?"
Dean was clearly a far better Gryffindor than me.
"With, as in with your tongue up his arse," he said, not meeting my eyes.
"Tongue?" I croaked.
"Not?" he asked.
"No one mentioned tongues," I whined.
Dean closed his eyes wearily.
"Okay," he said. "Are you and Ron together, as in beautifully and sacredly protecting each other's Magical Cores, by beautifully and sacredly and sweatily and filthily fucking each other's brains out?"
"Oh, Dean, how did no one tell us about this?" I babbled. "Although when… yes. Not when you're eleven, obviously, and find out you're a wizard. Although… no. Because when did Ron and Seamus know? Before, yes. So, alright, study the theory in Seventh year, but people pair off before that, and Bill… they're knowing… and thinking… and not us, no. No, not us. Just Seamus and Ron thinking about us and wanting and that's fine, but not telling?"
Dean blinked.
"I take it that's a no?" he said.
"I only found out this afternoon," I croaked. "And Ron ran off, when he realised I've never thought…. I… I have to track him down and make things better."
"I wonder what else we don't know," he mused. "I've given it a bit of thought."
"Oh god," I said.
"Next year we'll go up to the school, for something, and we'll shake McGonagall's hand and Seamus and Ron will stick their tongues down her throat and be all 'what? When you turn nineteen you have to French kiss women over eighty.'"
I laughed.
"French kiss them if you're Partnered," he qualified, "cup them between the legs, once you're married."
"No!"
"Minister's meetings," he went on, waggling his eyebrows. "The Heads of Department, gathered around the table in the Minister's office; whoever speaks has to stick a finger up the minutes secretary's arse."
"That'll be Percy Weasley and that'll explain why Arthur never got promoted," I said weakly.
"Don't tell Hermione the best way to free a house elf," he whispered and I flinched pre-emptively. "They can't wear a condom, when the lady of the house goes down on them, or it counts as clothes…"
"Not funny," I protested.
"Wedding nights," he went on and I shook my head sharply. "Before you get to shag Ginny, you have to shag her mum."
"No!"
"Ginny came out of those… woman's parts, and you have to thank them."
"I'm gonna have to Obliviate myself, now," I said weakly.
"Ah, well," he said. "We get our own back, when Hermione's mum thinks she and Ron have to dance, at his wedding, and Ron tries to lift her skirt and go down on her on the dance floor."
I snorted.
"But it's not as if it's just some odd tradition, is it?" I asked him. "We have to, or our Magic suffers."
He nodded.
"We have to just suck it up and… suck it," he said.
"So," I said. "What happened with you two? Did Seamus say anything before… jumping you?"
"Seamus didn't tell me," Dean said.
"Oh god, what did he do?"
"Nothing," Dean said indignantly. "I meant it wasn't Shay who told me; I already knew about it when he… very solemnly asked me."
"Who?" I demanded. "No one told me."
"Ted," he said sadly.
"Ah."
"He… well, he was Muggleborn," Dean explained. "He wracked his brains for things I was missing out on, Seventh Year. I totally thought he was winding me up, at first, you know?"
"Oh, yes," I said seriously.
"But he convinced me; he was in quite a lot of pain, without his wife. I was… it ached… And he asked me if I had a close friend. A really close friend. And it was good to see you and Ron, and it's been wonderful spending time with Luna. But when I got back to Hogwarts and saw Seamus…"
"Really?" I breathed.
"I know it sounds insane," he said. "But after that year… and when he held me…"
"Wow."
"Being together is amazing," he said. "Healing. And really, really filthy."
"Seamus."
"Yeah."
"I want to take care of Ron like that," I said. "I do."
"Then you'd better go and find him."
"This," I swallowed hard. "You've helped. A lot. I'm gonna go and find Hermione, and…"
"Not Hermione," Dean interrupted. "Ron. You don't need the theory explained to you, you need to touch him."
"It's not the theory," I protested. "I don't care about Magical Theory; I want to know that my Muggleborn Hermione knows about it."
"She's Hermione," Dean said. "She…she must know?"
"I have to check," I said, finishing my drink, slapping him on the back and Flooing to Grimmauld Place, to find Hermione.
And check that she was okay with me bonding with Ron's arse, until she needed it.
Fuck.
To fuck his arse. To watch him tip his head back and clutch at the sheets as I slid inside him.
God, where had that image come from?
Inside him.
Safe.
The thought did make me feel safe. Was this my Magic being drawn to his, or was it because it was my Ron, and he'd always made me feel safe? Or was that the same thing?
... Onward to Part 2