i don't have insomnia, i just wanna see how dark these circles can get
so once you have someone sweet who knows you, hold on tight.
or until you're desensitized by the thrill?
man, fuck deez hoes.
the way people thrive on drama and making such a big fucking mess out of things amazes me. and i think about the things that i thrive on that relate to that. everyone likes to fuck shit up sometimes, right? where does that come from? the thrill from ruining someone else's day for even just a moment. even the nicest people i know will wish something slightly bad on someone they don't approve of, so i guess they feel like that person deserves it. but do they?
anyway.
how can you make someone see that they deserve more than they believe? guess you need to make them believe in themselves first. but how do you do that? they need to be willing to try, so how do you motivate them?
writing this out makes me realize that even though i was initially thinking about one person in particular, i can relate this to a few more people in my life. maybe even to myself. that just blew my mind a little bit.
i'm in nyc until wednesday. it's been pretty nice not having to work or wake up too early. i do miss my bed though. and my parents and friends, but it's great spending time with my sister. i won't get much more of her. i wonder if she'll move back. i hope so.
i don't get too much sleep because of the sun. my sister lent me an eye mask to use tonight. i'm excited for that. ha.
i don't see how i can remain so aloof yet still have so many good relationships. trust can be built on so little, but that small amount means so much. i really love that.
skin hunger is ridiculous.
i really wonder how all of my habits and beliefs were instilled in me. my shyness stems mostly from my dad. my humor stems from both of my parents. my spontaneity from my mom. and i definitely got a lot from my sister, or at least she was one that i chose to rebel against quite often. but so much has been hidden from my family in all honesty. i think my mom knows me a lot more now that my sister lives in nyc, but before, i didn't share much. but then again, rising circumstances and obstacles have pretty much forced me to spill, but now that i have, i wonder why i hadn't all along. and i wonder why i still keep secrets.
actually, i can think of a few reasons why i keep a lot of things to myself. but i can't really share that since it would be like pulling one of the end pieces out of the bottom-most stack of a jenga tower. i'll save that for my mid-life crisis or something.
or until you're desensitized by the thrill?
man, fuck deez hoes.
the way people thrive on drama and making such a big fucking mess out of things amazes me. and i think about the things that i thrive on that relate to that. everyone likes to fuck shit up sometimes, right? where does that come from? the thrill from ruining someone else's day for even just a moment. even the nicest people i know will wish something slightly bad on someone they don't approve of, so i guess they feel like that person deserves it. but do they?
anyway.
how can you make someone see that they deserve more than they believe? guess you need to make them believe in themselves first. but how do you do that? they need to be willing to try, so how do you motivate them?
writing this out makes me realize that even though i was initially thinking about one person in particular, i can relate this to a few more people in my life. maybe even to myself. that just blew my mind a little bit.
i'm in nyc until wednesday. it's been pretty nice not having to work or wake up too early. i do miss my bed though. and my parents and friends, but it's great spending time with my sister. i won't get much more of her. i wonder if she'll move back. i hope so.
i don't get too much sleep because of the sun. my sister lent me an eye mask to use tonight. i'm excited for that. ha.
i don't see how i can remain so aloof yet still have so many good relationships. trust can be built on so little, but that small amount means so much. i really love that.
skin hunger is ridiculous.
i really wonder how all of my habits and beliefs were instilled in me. my shyness stems mostly from my dad. my humor stems from both of my parents. my spontaneity from my mom. and i definitely got a lot from my sister, or at least she was one that i chose to rebel against quite often. but so much has been hidden from my family in all honesty. i think my mom knows me a lot more now that my sister lives in nyc, but before, i didn't share much. but then again, rising circumstances and obstacles have pretty much forced me to spill, but now that i have, i wonder why i hadn't all along. and i wonder why i still keep secrets.
actually, i can think of a few reasons why i keep a lot of things to myself. but i can't really share that since it would be like pulling one of the end pieces out of the bottom-most stack of a jenga tower. i'll save that for my mid-life crisis or something.