why

[bestbefore_you]

yesterday was the most traumatizing day of my life
though, ive had a pretty easy life, so this doesnt say much

yesterday, i was made a semi-alt for smit
dieing usually feels better

to make it worse, my other semi-alt is ian. ian. the person at the beginning of the year everyone wanted off the team
i feel like..
i dont know
i cant even explain myself

so ian and i each play one night
so, obviously i would want to play the second day, since that is the finals, which we'll get metals and everything if we win
but ive already told all my friends to come watch friday.

what the fuck

so yesterday was full of
-me trying to hold back tears through practice for two hours
-my mom picking me up and me bursting into tears the second i get in the car
-me ignoring my moms questions
-cody calling me to talk to me about how this is fucked up
-monika calling me to talk to me about how this is fucked up
-cody, gabbie and i going to timmy ho's and talking about how this is fucked up
-seamus being there with his other friends and telling me how this is so fucked up
-me and gabbie waiting for cody to buy his mom a present and gabbie telling me that she's going to give up her spot for me
-me shutting her up as that is ridiculous
-me going home and crying more

and all of this happened on valentine's day
crying and feeling horrible about yourself? yep, sounds about right

dont apologize, i hope you choke and die

so have another drink and drive yourself home;
i hope theres ice on all the roads;
and you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt;
and again when your head goes through the window.

your as subtle as a brick in the small of my back