BBQ
yesterday the jones had a bbq at their house to get to know all their neighbors. they are all spread out and everyone kind of keeps to themselves. aloooot if people showed up.i went with beth to pick up nelson from ellis hospital where he works. so it was kind of awkward at this thing, since 1) i didn't know anyone there(besides my family and beth's family) and 2) most people were either old(er) or just didn't talk much. but later some of us got a game of frisbee going so we did that for several hours. and of course with my height i caught every single throw.
right as we were leaving kyle(beth's ex) was walking into the driveway so i got out of the car and gave him a hug. he hates it when i call him kyle purple so of course i say it anytime i can to irk him. :D i even change the name on beth's phone when i see her to freak him out.looololol.
he's staying at their house for the weekend and if i remember correctly, coming to church to help out the street reach event we're doing tomorrow. he'll be in beth's, mine, my dad's and my brother's group where we go around bringing plants to people. then later that day afterwards a meal is provided. i'll have to leave around 3 though because klok is picking me up to get ready for his concert at northern lights.
anyways, i strayed. as we were heading out to go home last night, dad told us that uncle jim died around 6pm. while it was very sad news, it was also kind of relieving, because he'd been suffering, and also had started to get dimentia(sp?) so hazel said he would forget she would be there with him and mention how alone he felt and wished he would die. it was sad. i'll admit though. i almost feel nothing?? as if it didn't actually happen and i'm just hearing the weather or something else equally mundane. is there something wrong with me? i must be so used to hearing about death or seeing it, that it doesn't shock or phaze me, or seem real to me anymore. anytime i've been to a funeral, i can't cry. i don't feel sad. i feel detached. yes, that's a good word. detached. and it bothers me. i feel like i'm betraying them by not feeling any emotion. people ask me are you ok? do you need anything? and i almost feel the obligation to lie because i know you're supposed to grief those you loss. but i don't. iunno..i mean i can cry about other things. oh i have. there are just certain things that make me bawl like a baby. but death doesn't really seem to that often.
meh, iunno..i'm off to go shopping with my mom for a dress for jess's wedding. i'm going to see if i can convince my mom to go on a walk with me. she's always making a comment about how she's fat, or this doesn't look good on her because she's fat. well she never does any exercize, so i'm going to force her.
toodles.
right as we were leaving kyle(beth's ex) was walking into the driveway so i got out of the car and gave him a hug. he hates it when i call him kyle purple so of course i say it anytime i can to irk him. :D i even change the name on beth's phone when i see her to freak him out.looololol.
he's staying at their house for the weekend and if i remember correctly, coming to church to help out the street reach event we're doing tomorrow. he'll be in beth's, mine, my dad's and my brother's group where we go around bringing plants to people. then later that day afterwards a meal is provided. i'll have to leave around 3 though because klok is picking me up to get ready for his concert at northern lights.
anyways, i strayed. as we were heading out to go home last night, dad told us that uncle jim died around 6pm. while it was very sad news, it was also kind of relieving, because he'd been suffering, and also had started to get dimentia(sp?) so hazel said he would forget she would be there with him and mention how alone he felt and wished he would die. it was sad. i'll admit though. i almost feel nothing?? as if it didn't actually happen and i'm just hearing the weather or something else equally mundane. is there something wrong with me? i must be so used to hearing about death or seeing it, that it doesn't shock or phaze me, or seem real to me anymore. anytime i've been to a funeral, i can't cry. i don't feel sad. i feel detached. yes, that's a good word. detached. and it bothers me. i feel like i'm betraying them by not feeling any emotion. people ask me are you ok? do you need anything? and i almost feel the obligation to lie because i know you're supposed to grief those you loss. but i don't. iunno..i mean i can cry about other things. oh i have. there are just certain things that make me bawl like a baby. but death doesn't really seem to that often.
meh, iunno..i'm off to go shopping with my mom for a dress for jess's wedding. i'm going to see if i can convince my mom to go on a walk with me. she's always making a comment about how she's fat, or this doesn't look good on her because she's fat. well she never does any exercize, so i'm going to force her.
toodles.