done

[best_of_emc]

i am rarely bitter. but i find myself extremly angry and hurt right now. i thought this relationship would be a nice change for me, but like the last few, it is just another failed attempt. i didnt even get to talk to him about it because he isnt talking to me right now, who knows why. last time i saw him he seemed happy with me, affectionate, complimenting me, etc. i do NOT understand anyone anymore. i truly dont. it was a thin line at best before, but now thats all gone. i know i am going to go over this whole situation for a long time in my mind as much as i dont want to, as much as i despise him right now, but it isnt going to go away. i wont bother trying to talk to him. i will just go back to how my life was before we met. only this time i refuse to let anyone be with me. people are trying but i am incredibly bitter right now i want to hurt everyone. it would actually make me feel better.

im supposed to see geoff tomorrow to play mgs4 after seeing a movie at crossgates with my cousin.maybe that will take my mind off things a little. my cousin justins wedding is friday so i need to look through my stuff and find a dress for it. he is 21 and getting married. soo young.

i hate that people who actually care about someone and want to make the relationship work always get hurt.honest people get bfs/gfs who cheat on them, beat them emotionally/ physically,thoughtful people get people who couldnt give a shit and are completely selfish,etc etc etc blah blah fucking blah.

anyway..i dont feel good..im going to go for a walk. my side has kept making this weird pounding jab feeling since this morning.