(no subject)
I think I'm getting sick, and this would be awful because it's very rare that I get sick and I don't like it. If I am I hope it's a stomach virus type of sick so that it prevents me from eating as I have been for many many days and I can shed all of this weight I don't like. Thank you.
I agreed to do a presentation for one of my English classes despite not wanting to do it at all. I suddenly feel very blocked in about it and I don't want to do it and I've been given a lot of opportunities to get out of it, all of which I've rejected. It's more because I get the feeling that if I back out it'll make the teacher feel bad and I don't want that. Although I'm really not that fond of her and I think she doesn't have a lot of control over her classroom or her students, which at a college level should be less necessary but with the type of people in the class most definitely is. I don't know. I can come up with plenty of excuses as to why I don't want to do it. A lot of it lies in the fact that I don't have a lot of respect for her classroom or the people in it and that I don't feel it will help me at all in my future despite the fact she's pushing that it will. I think I'm going to tell her I won't. It'd be a 10 minute presentation and it'd be due next Thursday and I really think I'd just halfass it and feel badly about it afterwards if I did it. I know it'd be a challenge, and I think I am up for it...if I just had the motivation. I don't. Any thoughts? Haha.
Work is work. For now I guess. I think soon I'm not going to be worrying about that place as much as I am now. We'll see where that goes.
I'm supposed to start looking into advising and registering for classes next semester starting tomorrow, but I don't think I'll have the time. I like how I pretend I have a lot to do and that's the reason but it's moreso because I am so lazy and won't be up until I have to go to class and will then go to work before coming home and watching television and getting on my computer, procrastinating further on a paper due Tuesday which I will probably not finish before 1 when I promised myself I wouldn't stay up past midnight on days when I had classes at 8 the next morning. Which I do on Tuesday. The disappointment in myself is growing oh so large. I wonder if I really am going to do anything with what I'm learning. Or not learning.
When my mother collected the money I owed her for the week (which was actually less than I'm supposed to give) she asked if I was good for gas this entire week, which I replied to with a yes because I don't like her thinking I'm not responsible. Which of course, I'm not. I'm on empty and have to drive to and from school and work until Thursday. So, I think I might need gas money after all. I'm working on it.
After the English teacher the other day told me I was a bad writer, my Shakespeare teacher gave me a compliment about my comprehension of Shakespearean literature. I think. After I left I thought he may have actually been going the long way round to insulting me, but I'll pretend that's not it. I did mention the comment from English teacher #2, and he told me that didn't strike him about me at all. I think that's good.
Classes are almost finished and I don't feel accomplished. Have I already said that? Maybe next semester will be better. I'm 22. I won't graduate until I'm 25. At least. Because I'll need other classes to become a teacher. And New York is the hardest state to get your license for teaching in. Yeesh. I was thinking of going away to school sometime soon. It won't happen though.
I don't care what anyone says, even me on some strange days, this is definitely the best song. Ever.
I agreed to do a presentation for one of my English classes despite not wanting to do it at all. I suddenly feel very blocked in about it and I don't want to do it and I've been given a lot of opportunities to get out of it, all of which I've rejected. It's more because I get the feeling that if I back out it'll make the teacher feel bad and I don't want that. Although I'm really not that fond of her and I think she doesn't have a lot of control over her classroom or her students, which at a college level should be less necessary but with the type of people in the class most definitely is. I don't know. I can come up with plenty of excuses as to why I don't want to do it. A lot of it lies in the fact that I don't have a lot of respect for her classroom or the people in it and that I don't feel it will help me at all in my future despite the fact she's pushing that it will. I think I'm going to tell her I won't. It'd be a 10 minute presentation and it'd be due next Thursday and I really think I'd just halfass it and feel badly about it afterwards if I did it. I know it'd be a challenge, and I think I am up for it...if I just had the motivation. I don't. Any thoughts? Haha.
Work is work. For now I guess. I think soon I'm not going to be worrying about that place as much as I am now. We'll see where that goes.
I'm supposed to start looking into advising and registering for classes next semester starting tomorrow, but I don't think I'll have the time. I like how I pretend I have a lot to do and that's the reason but it's moreso because I am so lazy and won't be up until I have to go to class and will then go to work before coming home and watching television and getting on my computer, procrastinating further on a paper due Tuesday which I will probably not finish before 1 when I promised myself I wouldn't stay up past midnight on days when I had classes at 8 the next morning. Which I do on Tuesday. The disappointment in myself is growing oh so large. I wonder if I really am going to do anything with what I'm learning. Or not learning.
When my mother collected the money I owed her for the week (which was actually less than I'm supposed to give) she asked if I was good for gas this entire week, which I replied to with a yes because I don't like her thinking I'm not responsible. Which of course, I'm not. I'm on empty and have to drive to and from school and work until Thursday. So, I think I might need gas money after all. I'm working on it.
After the English teacher the other day told me I was a bad writer, my Shakespeare teacher gave me a compliment about my comprehension of Shakespearean literature. I think. After I left I thought he may have actually been going the long way round to insulting me, but I'll pretend that's not it. I did mention the comment from English teacher #2, and he told me that didn't strike him about me at all. I think that's good.
Classes are almost finished and I don't feel accomplished. Have I already said that? Maybe next semester will be better. I'm 22. I won't graduate until I'm 25. At least. Because I'll need other classes to become a teacher. And New York is the hardest state to get your license for teaching in. Yeesh. I was thinking of going away to school sometime soon. It won't happen though.
I don't care what anyone says, even me on some strange days, this is definitely the best song. Ever.