A change will do you good....
~ Finals are officially done with and I am here at home, enjoying this winter wonderland.
I've been doing a lot of self-reflection lately. It's been a much needed growing and healing process, and I'm beginning to see some small changes happening.
I am not a creature of change, as many of you who know me well can attest to. I have issues with jealousy, hostility, and manipulation. I also have realized that I can be a very possessive friend. These nasty flaws have been part of my character for as long as I can remember, and unfortunately have twisted me into trouble more than once. I have hurt people I truly care about, and I don't make things better for myself either. I sincerely apologize to all and any of you reading this whom I have hurt by my character. Part of the reason people I love get treated poorly sometimes is because I tend to live in the past. I know this is super unhealthy and only hinders my ability to make a future for myself. I need to start looking forward. What is ahead of me? The person I am today, including the good and bad attributes, would not exist if it weren't for my past. The things I have been through, experiences I've had, and the people who have wandered in and out all combine together to make me who I am right this very moment. Overall I am unbelievably lucky to live this life. I just need to not live with regrets and be proud of where I come from. My past is my foundation and it's solid. I need to now stand on my foundation and look towards the sky. Clinging onto the bottom rock in fear of spreading my wings for what lies ahead is not going to help me. For all of you that make up my foundation, endless thanks. I hope that you feel like you have left your mark and will continue to walk ahead with me. You learn something from me and I learn something from you, and we're better off for it.
Thank you for loving me for me, character flaws and all.
I've been doing a lot of self-reflection lately. It's been a much needed growing and healing process, and I'm beginning to see some small changes happening.
I am not a creature of change, as many of you who know me well can attest to. I have issues with jealousy, hostility, and manipulation. I also have realized that I can be a very possessive friend. These nasty flaws have been part of my character for as long as I can remember, and unfortunately have twisted me into trouble more than once. I have hurt people I truly care about, and I don't make things better for myself either. I sincerely apologize to all and any of you reading this whom I have hurt by my character. Part of the reason people I love get treated poorly sometimes is because I tend to live in the past. I know this is super unhealthy and only hinders my ability to make a future for myself. I need to start looking forward. What is ahead of me? The person I am today, including the good and bad attributes, would not exist if it weren't for my past. The things I have been through, experiences I've had, and the people who have wandered in and out all combine together to make me who I am right this very moment. Overall I am unbelievably lucky to live this life. I just need to not live with regrets and be proud of where I come from. My past is my foundation and it's solid. I need to now stand on my foundation and look towards the sky. Clinging onto the bottom rock in fear of spreading my wings for what lies ahead is not going to help me. For all of you that make up my foundation, endless thanks. I hope that you feel like you have left your mark and will continue to walk ahead with me. You learn something from me and I learn something from you, and we're better off for it.
Thank you for loving me for me, character flaws and all.