Rage
Title: Rage
Rating: NC-17
Main Pairing: Tom/Bill
Side Pairing: Tom/Self
Warnings: Adult Content, Minor Character Death, Non-con/rape, Violence
Chapter: 2/3
Finished: No
Summary: Tom is a nice boy. A nice, kind, sweet boy. The last person that you'd want to hurt and yet it seems that the entire graduating class of Magdeburg Gymnasium has it out for Tom. After years of being subjected to bullying, the floodgates have finally give way.Tom's got his gun, and all you suckers, you'd all better run.
The following day had come in the form of obtrusive light that penetrated through the dark cocoon that served as Tom's room. The teen had groaned, blurry-eyed with a mouth full of stale spit, before stumbling out of bed.
Tom had pushed the memory of Tyler and his tormentors to the back of his mind, but now, with the new day starting, a feeling of dread pooled within Tom's stomach. Sunlight peeked shyly through the blinds that Tom had forgotten to close, as if apologetic to disturb the teen from his sleep, and cast shadows across Tom's floor till reaching the foot of the bed. Tom sat there for a moment, pondering over if he should even go to school, watching as the light shimmered gaily in golden swirling beams.
The posters on Tom's walls no longer mocked him but instead had returned to their silent previous state: simple pieces of paper mounted onto a wall. The photos of the girls in Tom's school were haphazardly tangled in the teen's sheets but Tom wasn't compelled to put them away.
How pointless life was. The daily routine of getting up, getting ready for school, doing his work, and then coming home was wearing Tom thin. The routine of life consisting of going to secondary school, heading off to university, getting a job, hopefully marrying, suffering through that marriage, scrambling for retirement, and then death... now that was what wore Tom out. What was the point of moving forward in life if you could predict life's every move? Surely Tom would go off to some university; there'd be drinking and girls, yes, but Tom would most likely stick to himself. Then Tom would get some dead-end job, no doubt working in a cubicle, and slave away that for a few years. Perhaps Tom would meet some nice girl, not quite a boy's wet dream and border-lining on prudish, and procreate with her. Then they'd have kids and Tom's life would sink into a further hell of putting those children through college while also trying to save something for his retirement.
Then Tom would die.
At last the earth that made him welcome him back. Tom would finally be at peace. Free from the prattling of his wife and the cacophony of noise from his children. Free from the blood vessel bursting stress from his lowly paying job and the monotony that came with it. Yes then, finally then, Tom would free.
The teen's eyes sluggishly turned towards the window and the light that dare shine in his dark world. Once more Tom contemplated going to school but there would be no choice in the matter. Feet shuffled across the carpet as Tom picked out an oversized t-shirt and some baggy jeans, Tyler's warning had not gone unheard but it was all that Tom owned now. The dreadhead prepared himself for the day, moving through the daily routine of the morning with ease.
For Tom, it was just another day in hell.
"Why do people kill?" The ethics teacher professor prowled the front of the classroom, pridefully stalking before his chalkboard. School was a teacher's domain, not Tom's, so no matter how much Tom wanted to just fall asleep, he knew that he had to at least look like he was paying attention.
Tyler, James, and his gang were sitting at the back of the room. So far they'd left Tom alone but Tom knew better. They were simply waiting for the right moment, when teachers were around and preferably no students, before they'd finally inflict their punishment upon Tom.
"People kill for many different reasons. You'll want to write these down, class, there's a quiz coming up on Thursday." The entire class groaned in protest but nonetheless pulled out their notebooks. Tom followed suit, eyes trained on the blank sheet on paper in front of him, when a low hiss called out to him from across the room.
"Tom." James whispered and Tom's back went rigid. "Tom, can you lend me some paper?"
Tom continued to sit there, paralyzed in fear and anxiety of what his course of action should be. As Tom sat frozen, James called out to Tom again, this time more demanding.
"Don't be a bitch, mate. Lend me some damn paper." James hissed, hand hanging out in front of him expectantly. Tom could feel the entire class's eyes on him and he sighed, ripping a piece from his notebook.
"Bring your own fucking paper next time." Tom mumbled, turning around to hand the sheet over when the professor called on him.
"Tomas Kaulitz. And just what do you think you're doing passing notes in my class?" The professor had asked. The entire class snickered and James chose that moment to magically produce a notebook from his bag. Tom gritted his teeth.
"Sorry, sir." Tom turned round to face the elderly man. "I was just lending James some paper."
"Mr. Clongowes seems to be fine, now if you'd please pay attention. I was in the middle of a lesson Mr. Kaulitz. I'm sure there'll be plenty of time to get baked after school but in my classroom." The professor snuck in that little snide remark and it stung Tom. Tom had one of the highest grades in the class and yet it seemed that teachers liked to overlook such aspects.
Again the class laughed at Tom's expense and the dreadhead sank lowered in his seat, not noticing the one student off to his left that was practically turning red in fury. Bill was in almost all of Tom's classes and so everyday he witnessed what abuse was placed on poor Tom. One would even say that somewhere along the way of Bill feeling the need to stand up for the little guy, that he developed a sort of crush on Tom. And while Bill was open about his preference for men, it was assumed that Tom liked women. Tom most certainly never gave off the vibe of being anything other than straight, but Bill could dream.
"You can't talk to a student like that in class." The words were out of Bill's mouth before his brain had even caught up with them. The laughter fell silent as all eyes turned to look at Bill along with those of the professor and most importantly Tom. A look of pure fury overcame Tom's face in that moment but Bill pointedly looked to the teacher.
"I beg your pardon Mr. Trumper? Was there something that you'd like to share with the class?" The professor's eyes held challenge but Bill was never one to back down.
"You cannot talk to a student like that, it's against school policy. A teacher has no right to make slanderous comments towards a student. I thought you being a teacher were above that." Bill titled his chin in defiance and the entire class was laughing once again, this time at the expense of the teacher.
The professor's face burned with the embarrassment of being called out in front of the entire class. He grappled for a pen, furiously writing on the piece of paper as a pass for Bill to be sent down to the office. The entire class jeered as Bill was ordered to leave the classroom immediately and Tom could only glare the dark haired boy down as he passed. Who was Bill to intervene in Tom's affairs? This was the second time this week and already Tyler along with the others were plotting, smirking faces and hushed tones told Tom that they found enjoyment out of the little show.
Bill had proudly sauntered, not walked, sauntered out of the room as if he owned the place. A few of the boys in the class gazed after Bill's retreating behind but Tom's eyes were glued firmly at the back of Bill's head, willing to set that mass of black hair on fire. How dare Bill intervene. How dare he.
Tom's punishment for his failure to fully consume to dog excrement from the previous day and for Bill's foolish actions of sticking up for the dreadhead, came in the form of public humiliation.
Tom had been walking through the cafeteria, the school day almost half way over without any conflict with Tyler's group yet, when someone had tripped Tom. The teen's lunch tray was sent flying, a mess of sloppy Joe flung into the air, as Tom face-planted onto the hard cold tile floor. The cafeteria had erupted in delighted laughter as the mess of food landed all over Tom where he lay sprawled on the ground.
Tom's cheeks had burned in embarrassment, face tucked downwards to avoid looking at the laughing faces of his classmates, shoulders hunched in defeat. The situation could have been easily brushed off had it not been for Tyler's grand idea to throw the first item of food. A wave of chocolate milk hit Tom smack in the face as the teen tried to stand up. Tom gasped, more concerned for his dreads than anything else, when a pudding cup had followed. Then someone screamed something about a food fight but it was only poor Tom that took their abuse. The students pelted Tom with anything they could find from their lunches. Sandwiches, juice boxes, fruit, or gummy snacks. Tyler had been the head of this and the one most active in pelting Tom with food.
"Quit it!" Tom screamed, shielding his eyes as someone threw water in his face. A group of underclassmen girls were giggling wildly as they each pelted Tom with various items from their matching brown paper bags. Tom swatted furiously and whirled around to yell at them to stop. The girls' eyes had widened in fear when Tom faced them but the teen's scary exterior was soon ruined as a garlic stick hit him in the back of the head.
"Come on, Kaulitz! Who's the big man now?" Tyler laughed wildly, eyes alight like a child's in a candy store. The boy picked up a stalk of celery and hurled it at Tom. The dreadhead caught the vegetable easily and glared furiously at the other. The rain of food continued, some kids now taking aim at others they disliked, and the cafeteria's attention was diverted from Tom as it became a full out food fight.
"What did I ever do to you Tyler, huh? What did I ever do to you for me to deserve this?" Tom shouted, eyes prickling with hot tears. The noise in the cafeteria grew as more students began to shout out in both anger and delight. Food flew through the air; landing on tables, the windows, the walls, chairs, and floor. It was like a scene out of a movie and the cafeteria workers could only scream uselessly at a the students closest.
"You're fucking weak, Kaulitz, that's what. You're weak and it disgusts me. Be a man for once and grow some fucking balls you damn faggot!"
"You shut the hell up!" Tom snarled, taking a menacing step forwards. The rest of Tyler's gang had gotten lost in the food fight somehow but Tyler displayed no concern. He could take down Tom if he needed to.
"What you don't like it? Tell me you aren't fucking that Trumper kid, Tom, I dare you. Fucking faggots the both of you. You're going to burn in hell for sodomy that's what. Burn in hell like the little piece of shit that you are." Tyler taunted, a somewhat disturbed smile breaking across his face.
"You shut the hell up!" Tom screamed, no longer able to control himself as he launched himself at Tyler. Tom tackled the other boy to the ground, hands closed around the boy's throat in a vice grip, when the cafeteria doors flew open. The principal, vice principal, and school disciplinary director walked into the chaos that had become their secondary school and demanded for some order.
Tyler rolled Tom off of him as the two continued to struggle, subtly taking note that their little scuffle would not last long. Tom slugged Tyler across the jaw when the other teen spotted a bowl of steaming soup on a nearby table. Tyler did not even think twice before he was grabbing the bowl and pouring its contents across Tom's face.
The dreadhead screamed in agony, curling into the fetal position to claw at his eyes, as Tyler quickly jumped off the teen. Tom's screams of pain drew the attention of the principal who immediately demanded that someone call an ambulance. The laughter and shouts of the cafeteria died quickly, the fun that had been enjoyed in the food fight sinking back into horror as Tom writhed on the ground sobbing loudly.
Tom would be rushed to the hospital only to later discover that he had second degree burns across his face, the doctors had informed Tom that he was lucky the soup was cooled off some but Tom felt anything but joy when they'd informed him that he would scar. Tom's mother had cried uselessly at the side of Tom's bed while Tom's father had been furious. Not furious that Tom had been attacked but rather furious that Tom had lied about being the most popular guy in school. It was now learned that Tom was anything but, and Tom's father had commented that he was disgusted to have a son like Tom before leaving the room.
The words had not hurt. Tom felt no emotional attachment to either his mother or father. He'd simply amused them with his tall tales that he knew would impress them. Mr. and Mrs. Kaulitz were very simpleminded people and Tom had played them like a book.
Tom released from the hospital the next day. There was no need for reconstructive surgery although Tom was told repeatedly told that he'd need to clean the wound to prevent infection. Tom had nodded along in silence to the doctor's words of warning.
No one spoke on the car ride home and Tom kept his head down, eyes avoiding the mirror at all costs.
October
The weeks of recovery were long and painful. Tom had been forced to finally face himself in the mirror in order to clean his wounds and he was disgusted. Tom's face had not been mutilated in any way but it shown in an ugly red with blistering skin and patches of white. Tom avoided all contact in school and at home no matter what. He refused to speak to his parents and refused to speak to anyone, including his teachers, at school.
Thankfully Bill had stopped bothering Tom. The only encounter that they'd had was one day when Bill bumped into Tom in the hallway. The dark haired boy had gawked at Tom's face, something unreadable in his eyes, before excusing himself and hurrying away. Tom knew that he was ugly to look at. When Tom had been bullied, all he wished for was to be left alone. Now that Tom was scarred, he'd finally gotten his wish. Tyler and his gang acted now as if Tom didn't even exist as they'd moved onto new targets. Tom was invisible to all.
Tom lurked in the shadows more than ever now. He didn't go out on weekends for fear of being teased and he'd taken down the posters of the girls with the mocking eyes. Tom lost all his sex drive, no longer aroused by the girls at school; all of which were more than willing to engage in teasing Tom for his burns.
Tom remained isolated and alone, so it came as a surprise when Bill directly approached Tom while walking home from school one day.
"Hey Tom!" Bill shouted, feet hitting the pavement as he scurried after Tom. Tom after upon seeing who it was kept walking, his pace picking up ever so slightly.
"No Tom! Wait! Please!" Bill called after him, breaking into a jog until he caught up alongside Tom. Tom's eyes remained trained on the ground, fearful of how Bill would react seeing Tom so up close. The teen lowered his head so that his hood would fall more over his face but Bill was leaning closer.
"Tom? Tom, please?" Bill whispered, fingers hesitantly ghosting Tom's arm. Tom jerked back as if burned and sent Bill a murderous glare.
"What do you want?" Tom replied lowly.
"Tom I wanted to ask if you were alright. I saw how those freshman stared at you today in the hallway and how much it upset you." Bill said, long legs easily being able to keep up with Tom's pace.
"I'm fine. Now leave me alone." Tom muttered but Bill was unconvinced.
"Alright then." Bill sighed, deciding not to further press the issue. He continued to walk along side Tom in silence for a few moments and Tom was tempted to ask Bill to leave.
"Do you want to blow off some steam?" Bill asked suddenly. Tom's shoulders tensed with peaked interest but he shook his head in the negative.
"I don't go out anymore. I gotta get home." Tom said, trying to push Bill away from him and head towards home. Bill was not so easily bossed around and he shoved Tom back just as roughly, a look of anger in his eyes.
"Come on, you never go anywhere anymore. Please, Tom. We can go hang out at my house and no one will see you there. Just... just..." Bill trailed off and was silent for a few moments.
Curiosity finally got the best of Tom as he snuck a glance to the boy and for the first time in almost a month, really took a good look at Bill.
Bill was just as fragile and feminine as ever. It slightly disgusted Tom that a boy would do those things to himself, to make oneself look like a girl, but at the same time Tom was fascinated. Bill was crying for some unknown reason and Tom watched everything about the boy from how he moved to the soft sobs that Bill emitted. Tom observed how slender and thing Bill's wrists were as he rubbed at this eyes. How pale Bill's skin was as his cheeks turned ruddy like they always did when Bill was upset. Tom watched how long Bill's eyelashes were as Bill rubbed away his tears and sniffed some. There was nothing male about Bill at all Tom found. In fact, Bill was rather pretty once you got over the fact he was a guy wearing makeup. Bill was pretty... almost like a girl. Tom unconsciously swept a side look at Bill's mouth as he boy sobbed once more, glossy lips parting to emit the small wounded sound.
"I'm sorry." Bill spoke after a moment and laughed shakily. The boy ran his fingers through his hair to ensure that it still held some volume and turned to Tom apologetically. "it's just that I'm really sick of Tyler and his friends beating no everyone."
"They don't bother me anymore." Tom shook his head.
"Come over to my house." Bill commanded boldly again and Tom shot the boy a glare.
"No."
"Come on, we can hang out and play Halo or something." Bill made a gesture in the air.
"I bet you don't even own Halo." Tom shot back.
"You're right-"
"Ah ha! I knew-"
"But I own Black Ops." Bill said and that shut Tom up. Tom looked Bill over strangely and the boy merely stared back at Tom through heavily rimmed eyes in challenge.
"Why do you do that to yourself?" Tom winced slightly, noting how tightly Bill wore his pants.
"Fuck that. Are you coming over not?" Bill's patience was wearing thin and Tom said yes, not sure quite why he agreed in the first place.
The pair then headed off to Bill's house. One boy dressed like a gangster with an angry burn running across his face while the other dressed in women's clothing. What a sight they made.