one-hundred fifty-eight.

[besame]

Oh my God.

Someone. Anyone just listen to me. Please.

Slow my life down about 5 lightyears. Everything is happening too fast. I don't want this to be over; I don't want this to be the end. What we had was amazing and then... then I messed it up.

I haven't had any reason to turn back time. Why would I ruin something that could, and probably would, affect my life completely.

Just... Just, oh my God.

Just turn it back to July. Turn it back to the moment I said "yes" for that job back in March.

I need to apologize. I need to apologize for being a burden, and fucking up someone's life, and asking for stuff I don't need, and being annoying.

God. I'm always annoying. Be it I'm annoying someone else, or annoying myself. I don't do it purposely, I promise. I promise I don't try.

I don't try to get you all to hate me.

It just ends up that way.

And...

I want to know how to stop it.

Please. Please help me out here.

Why am I always the one to mess up?

[I'm...really sorry for clogging up your f-lists with my... pointless, emo ramblings..]