i cannot see three feet in front of me

[besaidgirl]

i feel slightly
disconnected
from a few
important
people
and it troubles me.
i hate this feeling.
it makes me paranoid
it makes me act strange
it makes me obsess.
i hate this feeling.

the show tonite was
outstandingamazingphenomenalmotivationalwonderful.
i needed it, so i went for it.
hoo.rah.

off until wednesday.
i hope i get reconnected
cause i feel out of sorts.
i hate when i feel disconnected
from my world
and my peeps.
peeps cheapens it a bit, i fear.
oh well. needed the humor.

you will never be okay. you will always be in pain.
dear.god.i.missed.you.

i feel myself
threatening
to give
up.
no.no.no.no.no.

i dont think my arms
are reaching out far
enough.