(no subject)
i really dont know what to say.
my brain is fried.
in the matter of one week,
my world went into chaos.
i also saw how evil
a single human being can be
and no, it is not a he
i want so desperatly to
run away to a far off place
and forget it all, but take you too
because no matter what,
nothing will change us.
status changes, but we dont.
i am so numb right now
that it isnt even funny.
i have nothing left in me
to come up with wit
and be clever and hide
behind the words i type.
so, as a public declaration -
i am beat down.
i am down for the count.
i am wiped, broken, drained.
i hurt so much in all three ways:
physical.emotional.mental.
i feel so empty and numb
i feel so confused and hurt
but it isnt entirely what
everyone may jump to think.
i pray for sleep
cause it goes away when you sleep.
you can call me dramatic
you can say i am looking for attention
at this point, i dont give a shit
except for the FEW who know i do.
i dont really care.
all i am being right now is:
honest.
because i dont know what else to do.
i dont have the luxury
of someone here to comfort me.
want to help?
fix me.
fix this.
give me the biggest hug you have
ever given a human being.
hold me when i cry.
hold me when i scream.
put the band-aids on.
you dont care to help?
i dont really care either.
not in a mean way, but lets be honest
we all give false sympathy from time to time.
you think you have a better idea
of how to help me? shoot.
but what it boils down to is
i need love, i need help,
i need understanding.
so give me the grace to pick myself up
no matter how slow it may be.
to portland - thanks for calling, thanks for the love you. see, there is something to be said for a three hour time change : )
to boo and miss - thanks for being. simple as that.
my brain is fried.
in the matter of one week,
my world went into chaos.
i also saw how evil
a single human being can be
and no, it is not a he
i want so desperatly to
run away to a far off place
and forget it all, but take you too
because no matter what,
nothing will change us.
status changes, but we dont.
i am so numb right now
that it isnt even funny.
i have nothing left in me
to come up with wit
and be clever and hide
behind the words i type.
so, as a public declaration -
i am beat down.
i am down for the count.
i am wiped, broken, drained.
i hurt so much in all three ways:
physical.emotional.mental.
i feel so empty and numb
i feel so confused and hurt
but it isnt entirely what
everyone may jump to think.
i pray for sleep
cause it goes away when you sleep.
you can call me dramatic
you can say i am looking for attention
at this point, i dont give a shit
except for the FEW who know i do.
i dont really care.
all i am being right now is:
honest.
because i dont know what else to do.
i dont have the luxury
of someone here to comfort me.
want to help?
fix me.
fix this.
give me the biggest hug you have
ever given a human being.
hold me when i cry.
hold me when i scream.
put the band-aids on.
you dont care to help?
i dont really care either.
not in a mean way, but lets be honest
we all give false sympathy from time to time.
you think you have a better idea
of how to help me? shoot.
but what it boils down to is
i need love, i need help,
i need understanding.
so give me the grace to pick myself up
no matter how slow it may be.
to portland - thanks for calling, thanks for the love you. see, there is something to be said for a three hour time change : )
to boo and miss - thanks for being. simple as that.