I'm looking at a poster of 5 disabled people

[berzi76]

 Just when I thought I was doing good on the ego thing, I have to sit at the receptionist desk for lunch. EY has a poster that asks "How many of these people have disabilities?" It's clear they all do. One woman's disablitity must be her lack of fashion sense and hairstyle. Of course, there's a disclaimer that says the people in the pic may or may not have a disability. Anyway, I feel disabled. Mostly by siting here at the reception desk. They are nice women, but man, they are incapable of rational thought. One complained that her printer was printing stuff at an angle. I looked at it and if 5 seconds, could see a push pin near the rollers. I wonder if i'll ever get like that. I know, the world needs ditch diggers too Danny, but my father, one of the smartest men I know is slipping. Not big slips, nothing you wouldn't notice if you just met him, but there is a slip. He's not as fast mentally, or more specifically, doesn't try as hard. Maybe that's what growing old is, not trying as hard. Or maybe he really isn't as witty as i remember him. Again, not too sure. My mom has always been slipping, since i started college in 95 there was a noticeable slip in her brain and body. I wonder if taking care of mom has slowed him down. He's near 60. He is having problems with his feet(a sign of diabetes, which he self diagnosed) and he's working on his 3rd heart attack. We've had some rough patches in the past year or so, him and me. I don't know if it was growing pains or what, but I finally saw him as a man, not my father who doesn't get me or is embarrassed by me, but I saw him as a guy who got dealt a really shitty hand by fate or god or whatever. From all accounts, my mother was funny. I never got a chance to see it, but everyone says she was. She also took risks, could carry on a conversation without stating the same thing  over and over again and she didn't need anyone's help. I didn't get a chance to know that woman. So it's hard when people say they knew her that way or they want to bring her  back that way. If she could go back, I would hope she would want to. But I think she can't. I don't hate my parents for who they are, maybe I did some time ago, but not now. I think the transition from child to adult happens at various times in peoples lives. Mine just so happens to be going on now. 
Also, want to apologize to S & J for my withdrawness on sunday. the movie brought up alot of stuff that I didn't know how to process and also didn't hit me in the gut emotionally like other anderson films do.Popcorn on me next time.

I find it odd that this is so personal and yet anyone can read it. I don't have any problems about talking about myself and i've always considered my life an open book. I think it's the combo of personal writings and then bits directed at specific people. Since this is only my second post, I'll try to work through these feelings of uneasiness.