Why Is This An Issue?
I made what I thought was a completely innocent post in the roleplayers community earlier today. I was trying to pick brains about the possibility of a faster XP path in D&D 4e. I made what I thought was a completely superfluous comment in it about how I'm in a mythical all-girls gaming group.
Another poster, a guy, made the joking comment about how he wanted pics or it didn't happen. I laughed and asked if the pic of Sailormoon figs on the battle mat counted. But, he was promptly jumped upon by two other posters, women, who decided that I was somehow being objectified and needed to be defended from him. The whole damn thing spiraled into some big debate about how this guy was obviously just acting as if women were some sort of alien and this was why there aren't more women gamers and OMG!!! Sexist!!!
Wait. What?
Excuse me, please. I actually like that the guys in my Saturday game remember that I'm female, as long as they don't treat me like I'm frail. I don't need to be defended from them or anything. I don't need to be treated special. In fact, I don't want to be defended or treated special. This is about me hanging out with my friends, not some big feminist agenda project.
Why does mention of a girl gamer or a group of girl gamers have to suddenly turn into this girls versus gamers issue. It's like comparing a dog to a dog who makes the rounds in shows. One is what they are, the other is what they do. Bottom line, there aren't girls and gamers. There are girl gamers and guy gamers.
The fact of the matter is that women are different from men. There are times when women just want women around and men just want men around. Both are going to act different if there are members of the other gender around. It has nothing to do with whether or not they're gamers.
Frankly, I'm not wild about the idea that men always have to be expected to treat women exactly the way they would treat another man. Because, guess what, this may come as a shock, but I'm not a guy! I don't want to be treated like a guy and I'm not about to expect that guys treat me like one. I'm also not going to expect that guys are going to be comfortable talking about stuff that tends to be the purview of women only. And I sure as hell don't want this debate when I'm trying to talk about the stuff I do for fun.
There are girl gamers and there are guy gamers. And that's okay. Until these two ladies can be comfortable with that idea, they're the ones separating girls from gamers, not the guy. I would like it known that they don't speak for me.
Another poster, a guy, made the joking comment about how he wanted pics or it didn't happen. I laughed and asked if the pic of Sailormoon figs on the battle mat counted. But, he was promptly jumped upon by two other posters, women, who decided that I was somehow being objectified and needed to be defended from him. The whole damn thing spiraled into some big debate about how this guy was obviously just acting as if women were some sort of alien and this was why there aren't more women gamers and OMG!!! Sexist!!!
Wait. What?
Excuse me, please. I actually like that the guys in my Saturday game remember that I'm female, as long as they don't treat me like I'm frail. I don't need to be defended from them or anything. I don't need to be treated special. In fact, I don't want to be defended or treated special. This is about me hanging out with my friends, not some big feminist agenda project.
Why does mention of a girl gamer or a group of girl gamers have to suddenly turn into this girls versus gamers issue. It's like comparing a dog to a dog who makes the rounds in shows. One is what they are, the other is what they do. Bottom line, there aren't girls and gamers. There are girl gamers and guy gamers.
The fact of the matter is that women are different from men. There are times when women just want women around and men just want men around. Both are going to act different if there are members of the other gender around. It has nothing to do with whether or not they're gamers.
Frankly, I'm not wild about the idea that men always have to be expected to treat women exactly the way they would treat another man. Because, guess what, this may come as a shock, but I'm not a guy! I don't want to be treated like a guy and I'm not about to expect that guys treat me like one. I'm also not going to expect that guys are going to be comfortable talking about stuff that tends to be the purview of women only. And I sure as hell don't want this debate when I'm trying to talk about the stuff I do for fun.
There are girl gamers and there are guy gamers. And that's okay. Until these two ladies can be comfortable with that idea, they're the ones separating girls from gamers, not the guy. I would like it known that they don't speak for me.