Upset
*post locked from Danes who annoy me*
Today has been a really shitty day. Pardon my language. I inadvertently made him upset. I'd rather commit seppuku than upset him. I find out there is a Party going on after Hockey Try-outs that, as usual, I am not invited to and I'm afraid the Danish fucktard is going to get Tino is trouble. He's underage. I will plant my foot so far up Mathias' ass my toes will tickle his brain if he gets Tino expelled.
I also got a letter from my dad's secretary today. I love that I get form letters from my own fader. I really don't think he even notices it's been five years since he laid eyes on me. I've been in this same dorm room since eighth grade. The letter was the very same one I've received the first week of school for the last decade.
Dear Son,
Keep your grades up, I don't pay that tuition for you to be a slacker.
Yours,
Bergren Oxenstierna
He doesn't even SIGN it "Fader" Or ever say my name. So it always makes me really moody and I know this letter is coming. Just once I'd like it if he called or said "love dad" or ANYTHING even remotely human.
Maybe someday it won't sting. But I doubt it. It's no wonder I'm such a loser. Even my own FADER can't stand me.
Sometimes I sit and think wouldn't it be great if lightening just zapped me and it was all over. But I'm not suicidal, just TIRED. I want *THIS*... this.... *NOTHINGNESS* to be over.
What did I do in a past life to curse this one so bad?
I sometimes wish I was gone instead of mom. That the crash had taken me instead. My Fader would certainly be happier. I don't make anyone happy.
Not as myself at least.
Sorry I'm so depressing. Just had to get it out before I try to sleep. It's not been a good day. I feel terrible.
Ignore me. (Everyone does anyway.)
I did leave a gift however for him.
These are a Small little set of 5 inch tall plushies I thought would look cute sitting on his desk to watch over him.
Today's note was simply:
"I'm so sorry. I never want to upset you, I'd rather die."
Your Jotunn
I mean it too. He's the only sunshine in my world.
Today has been a really shitty day. Pardon my language. I inadvertently made him upset. I'd rather commit seppuku than upset him. I find out there is a Party going on after Hockey Try-outs that, as usual, I am not invited to and I'm afraid the Danish fucktard is going to get Tino is trouble. He's underage. I will plant my foot so far up Mathias' ass my toes will tickle his brain if he gets Tino expelled.
I also got a letter from my dad's secretary today. I love that I get form letters from my own fader. I really don't think he even notices it's been five years since he laid eyes on me. I've been in this same dorm room since eighth grade. The letter was the very same one I've received the first week of school for the last decade.
Dear Son,
Keep your grades up, I don't pay that tuition for you to be a slacker.
Yours,
Bergren Oxenstierna
He doesn't even SIGN it "Fader" Or ever say my name. So it always makes me really moody and I know this letter is coming. Just once I'd like it if he called or said "love dad" or ANYTHING even remotely human.
Maybe someday it won't sting. But I doubt it. It's no wonder I'm such a loser. Even my own FADER can't stand me.
Sometimes I sit and think wouldn't it be great if lightening just zapped me and it was all over. But I'm not suicidal, just TIRED. I want *THIS*... this.... *NOTHINGNESS* to be over.
What did I do in a past life to curse this one so bad?
I sometimes wish I was gone instead of mom. That the crash had taken me instead. My Fader would certainly be happier. I don't make anyone happy.
Not as myself at least.
Sorry I'm so depressing. Just had to get it out before I try to sleep. It's not been a good day. I feel terrible.
Ignore me. (Everyone does anyway.)
I did leave a gift however for him.
These are a Small little set of 5 inch tall plushies I thought would look cute sitting on his desk to watch over him.
Today's note was simply:
"I'm so sorry. I never want to upset you, I'd rather die."
Your Jotunn
I mean it too. He's the only sunshine in my world.