Boy do I hear you on the frustration of the tradeoffs. The ONE med I was ever on that was completely effective for me... it gave me tremor to the point where I couldn't dress myself or tie my own shoes. But I felt stable and good for the first time maybe ever, and no other med had achieved that before (or since), and I didn't want to give it up, so I kept postponing my therapy sessions so that my doctor wouldn't see the tremor.
Eventually the neighbour/friend who was helping me get dressed every day threatened me and told me that if I didn't tell the doctor about my shaking, she would.
I cried so hard at the next therapy session, because I knew she was going to take me off that med and move me to another one... she kept saying 'don't worry, we'll find another one that works as well but without the tremor', but I sobbed and told her that she didn't get it, I'd already been on every med under the sun and NONE of them even came close to making a dent in the mental illness. Still haven't found one.
I wish you the best of luck with finding a balance you can live with because I know firsthand that it's SO HARD. ❤️
Medication is such a weird thing. There are side effects that don't bother me too much, like the speech aphasia I get with topamax. I am so used to it, and just work around it. I am sure it seems weird to new people to me, but it is just a weird tick of mine.
But things like tremors so bad you can't get dressed or being so crazy that your whole life starts to fall apart, those are things you just can't deal with.
I am going to say that the mood stabilizer really seems to be working, though it is making me gain back those 15 pounds I lost when I week off of zoloft. I am okay with that, it is just something that I was hoping that wouldn't happen.
Eventually the neighbour/friend who was helping me get dressed every day threatened me and told me that if I didn't tell the doctor about my shaking, she would.
I cried so hard at the next therapy session, because I knew she was going to take me off that med and move me to another one... she kept saying 'don't worry, we'll find another one that works as well but without the tremor', but I sobbed and told her that she didn't get it, I'd already been on every med under the sun and NONE of them even came close to making a dent in the mental illness. Still haven't found one.
I wish you the best of luck with finding a balance you can live with because I know firsthand that it's SO HARD. ❤️
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But things like tremors so bad you can't get dressed or being so crazy that your whole life starts to fall apart, those are things you just can't deal with.
I am going to say that the mood stabilizer really seems to be working, though it is making me gain back those 15 pounds I lost when I week off of zoloft. I am okay with that, it is just something that I was hoping that wouldn't happen.
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