Meh.

[berserkerbunny]

Meh. About sums it all up. I have done nothing of import in the last week. My grades were horrendous (2.7) and I look forward to more tearful recriminations and shouting matches with my mother about the state of my inactivity. I keep trying to motivate myself to be more... to do more but I find it hard to do so. I am beginning to understand that I view life differently than most people or that maybe I just notice and percieve something extra. Of which I am not sure, but I do know that I constantly feel as if I am floating through a dreamlike state. From terse examinations to early morning studying I dream... or I feel that I drift as if in a dream. My sense of time distorts at the most random moments and minutes take hours or hours take minutes, either one brings yet even more surreal perception to my life. I hope that by trying to explain my constant sense of disconcertedness I can make some sense of it all... of why I procrastinate... of why things slip away... of who I am and how I can reconcile that with what I want to be. All of these are basic human questions not unique unto me, yet I apply them uniquely to myself.

I ramble and waffle away the days. I am always so active right before going to sleep... yet, sometimes sleep is all I get.