(no subject)
Whee...
Here I am in Evanston. The weekend started out great. Then it got horrible. I can't remember ever being so shocked, hurt, angry, and sad---all at the same time. J knows why, and he may even read this, but that's what happened. Thankfully it got better, if only temporarily. Watching "Garden State" helped, although I still don't see myself in Natalie Portman's character as much as other people see me. It was nice to be poked when I undeniably popped up in Sam's scenes, and laughing together brought us back. It's truly up to J, but things are hanging out around better right now, and I have hope.
Colleen IMed me yesterday while I was at work, and it was sooo good to catch up with her. We're thinking of pow-wowing it sometime over winter break, but I don't know if the other girls would be into that. Now that I have a presentable living area it would be fun to host something, if Suzy and Greg gave me the go-ahead.
Speaking of which...that's been "home" for about a year now. It's still great, even when I'm stuck humoring the little ones. Sure there are better things to do than carry Dori around the house on my shoulders or draw turkeys with Zach, but who needs to see [insert any TWW ep] for the tenth time? And Luke, my goodness...I knew absolutely nothing about babies before coming here, except how to resucitate them (thank you Ms. Vodraska). And now he's coming up on one year and the things I've seen are amazing. Lately it's been the walking. He can only manage a few steps before falling on his tush but it's the greatest thing. Zach and I will sit down a few feet from each other and he'll stand Luke up and, with a gentle push, say, "Walk to Maria!" Then Luke takes a few steps and falls laughing into my arms before I send him back in Zach's direction. Luke laughing and smiling...there's nothing purer. This little ball of human knows how to really be happy, and I don't want him to ever lose that. It's miraculous, and when I want it back I just let him walk to me.
Tomorrow I see the full production of "Was" and since I cried at the staged reading of it months ago I'm pretty sure I'm going to bawl my eyes out again. Suzy's got the seat next to mine and she'll be bringing me back home after the show. Then there's no band Monday night, giving me a bit more time to email my psych summaries, start my Euripides paper, and to prepare for Thursay morning's calc exam---on which I anticipate having a decent shot at a high B. And the first draft of my Greek play has to be finished by Thanksgiving. Ha, that's going to happen. It really has to though, or else I don't know how I'll have time to fishish (and start, for that matter...) my other final course projects.
Note to self: you can do this. Just remember Emerson and the BA in Writing, Literature, and Publishing that (hopefully) awaits you. Push now and you can be rejecting/accepting manuscripts left and right for years down the road. Yay. To be paid for reading...
So back to studying and homework.
Here I am in Evanston. The weekend started out great. Then it got horrible. I can't remember ever being so shocked, hurt, angry, and sad---all at the same time. J knows why, and he may even read this, but that's what happened. Thankfully it got better, if only temporarily. Watching "Garden State" helped, although I still don't see myself in Natalie Portman's character as much as other people see me. It was nice to be poked when I undeniably popped up in Sam's scenes, and laughing together brought us back. It's truly up to J, but things are hanging out around better right now, and I have hope.
Colleen IMed me yesterday while I was at work, and it was sooo good to catch up with her. We're thinking of pow-wowing it sometime over winter break, but I don't know if the other girls would be into that. Now that I have a presentable living area it would be fun to host something, if Suzy and Greg gave me the go-ahead.
Speaking of which...that's been "home" for about a year now. It's still great, even when I'm stuck humoring the little ones. Sure there are better things to do than carry Dori around the house on my shoulders or draw turkeys with Zach, but who needs to see [insert any TWW ep] for the tenth time? And Luke, my goodness...I knew absolutely nothing about babies before coming here, except how to resucitate them (thank you Ms. Vodraska). And now he's coming up on one year and the things I've seen are amazing. Lately it's been the walking. He can only manage a few steps before falling on his tush but it's the greatest thing. Zach and I will sit down a few feet from each other and he'll stand Luke up and, with a gentle push, say, "Walk to Maria!" Then Luke takes a few steps and falls laughing into my arms before I send him back in Zach's direction. Luke laughing and smiling...there's nothing purer. This little ball of human knows how to really be happy, and I don't want him to ever lose that. It's miraculous, and when I want it back I just let him walk to me.
Tomorrow I see the full production of "Was" and since I cried at the staged reading of it months ago I'm pretty sure I'm going to bawl my eyes out again. Suzy's got the seat next to mine and she'll be bringing me back home after the show. Then there's no band Monday night, giving me a bit more time to email my psych summaries, start my Euripides paper, and to prepare for Thursay morning's calc exam---on which I anticipate having a decent shot at a high B. And the first draft of my Greek play has to be finished by Thanksgiving. Ha, that's going to happen. It really has to though, or else I don't know how I'll have time to fishish (and start, for that matter...) my other final course projects.
Note to self: you can do this. Just remember Emerson and the BA in Writing, Literature, and Publishing that (hopefully) awaits you. Push now and you can be rejecting/accepting manuscripts left and right for years down the road. Yay. To be paid for reading...
So back to studying and homework.