I have about had it...
My list of friends is getting drastically shorter. I'm tired, TIRED of surrounding myself with people that don't understand me. Hell, don't even try because I'm not as important to them. The way I can tell that is when certain people say jump, they will jump. But if I needed a jump well, maybe. Friendships should be 50/50, mutual understanding, mutual concern, mutual effort.
In other news, I'm pissed about something else. People keep fucking making threads on CT about who is hotter, etc. etc. I am damn tired of people throwing in my face that the internet is serious business. 1. It has nothing to do with the internet 2. CT is not just an internet forum because I see these people everyday 3. the internet can get you killed, arrested, end your career, etc. so haha funny funny it is serious business, but all these things are refuted by number one, my objection had shit to do with the internet. it's akin to being put on a stage and auctioned off like a slave, and it's been happening for the majority of my life. I have always been called ugly, etc. etc. with the pinnacle being when a jackass kid stood up on the bus and asked the entire bus who has prettier, me or my sister, and everyone said my sister. it may not mean alot to other people but it means alot to me. it does not do much for my mental health, unstable as it already is, to be reminded of such things. and how i deal with that is my business. i may cut myself, but you wouldn't know it (unless you choose to read my journal on the occassion i post about it) and you sure as hell wouldn't see it. so, no jeff, it is not for attention.
...not that i cut myself over this shit. no, i have worse problems. i accepted a long time ago that i would have to find the beauty in my ownself...
In other news, I'm pissed about something else. People keep fucking making threads on CT about who is hotter, etc. etc. I am damn tired of people throwing in my face that the internet is serious business. 1. It has nothing to do with the internet 2. CT is not just an internet forum because I see these people everyday 3. the internet can get you killed, arrested, end your career, etc. so haha funny funny it is serious business, but all these things are refuted by number one, my objection had shit to do with the internet. it's akin to being put on a stage and auctioned off like a slave, and it's been happening for the majority of my life. I have always been called ugly, etc. etc. with the pinnacle being when a jackass kid stood up on the bus and asked the entire bus who has prettier, me or my sister, and everyone said my sister. it may not mean alot to other people but it means alot to me. it does not do much for my mental health, unstable as it already is, to be reminded of such things. and how i deal with that is my business. i may cut myself, but you wouldn't know it (unless you choose to read my journal on the occassion i post about it) and you sure as hell wouldn't see it. so, no jeff, it is not for attention.
...not that i cut myself over this shit. no, i have worse problems. i accepted a long time ago that i would have to find the beauty in my ownself...