The end of an era
We finished watching sex in the city tonight. All 6 seasons dusted. As to what we're going to entertain ourselves with next, I don't know. It was highly entertaining though, the last season was by far the best, as it hit on the reality of life instead of the reality of relationships. Though I guess that's how life goes, first we only focus on the things like love and relationships, until life actually starts and we realize there's so much more than those things- so much more. But dude, thinking only abouot relationships is so much easier than thinking about life. Every time I think about life I start to give myself an anxiety attack. The sad thing is, that's not a joke. I can do so many things in a day, but when it comes to working towards something real I hate my life and want to give up and hit the sheets. For instance, whether I want to apply for education grad school or optometry school, either way I need to decide NOW. Applications go in ASAP and I haven't even started looking at the processes or thinking about taking the damn tests, tests I can't even think of the name of now but know they aren't the MCATs, thank God. But if I don't do all this NOW, then why the fuck am I trying to graduate early, should I give up that idea and plan on taking three years and a quarter, maybe a quarter abroad? It'd give me a few more months to do anything about this stuff, but what would I do the rest of the year? Would I take it as a break? Would I go with that rolling admitance and start that next January? Even before all that, can I even handle the rest of college. I got an F on my bio class midterm, the only midterm for that class. If I don't do really well on the final, I'll have to retake the class, and as hard as I did honestly study for that test, maybe I'm not really a bio person at heart. I should have headed my fear of needles a long time ago and done soc. But I know that's not me either.
I'm not like that. One choice? I couldn't even stick with one major hobby. I had to try everything, camping rock climbing, horseback riding, boy surfing (riding), soccer, volleyball, cross country, needle work, reading, movies, the brief TV phase, DDR... etc. To ask me to pick one major and one career for life is absurd. I'm not that passionate about anything. I'm not that opinionated about anything. Well, except maybe that life's not fair, but now I'm jsut whineing.
Is it sad that right now the only job I'm actually interested in is working for a planned parenthood or equivalent clinic? But I can't do that since I can't drive to one to volunteer, and I don't have a nursing degree nor will I anytime soon due to the needle phobia problem, so I can't be one of their nurse type people.
ALl I know is I want to help people, and right now, from the perspective of myself and my friends and my era, that seems a great place to help. Being a teacher, you're trying to help those who don't want any help, often. PP is for people already asking for help, and maybe I could help them. And for some reason, that seems like a type of job I could handle, stressful or not. I'm so tired of being competitive, that seems like a place I wouldn't have to be.
If there is no hurry in life, why can't I try as many jobs as I did hobbies? Oh yes, becuase once you hit an age you don't have time anymore to experiment.
I'm not like that. One choice? I couldn't even stick with one major hobby. I had to try everything, camping rock climbing, horseback riding, boy surfing (riding), soccer, volleyball, cross country, needle work, reading, movies, the brief TV phase, DDR... etc. To ask me to pick one major and one career for life is absurd. I'm not that passionate about anything. I'm not that opinionated about anything. Well, except maybe that life's not fair, but now I'm jsut whineing.
Is it sad that right now the only job I'm actually interested in is working for a planned parenthood or equivalent clinic? But I can't do that since I can't drive to one to volunteer, and I don't have a nursing degree nor will I anytime soon due to the needle phobia problem, so I can't be one of their nurse type people.
ALl I know is I want to help people, and right now, from the perspective of myself and my friends and my era, that seems a great place to help. Being a teacher, you're trying to help those who don't want any help, often. PP is for people already asking for help, and maybe I could help them. And for some reason, that seems like a type of job I could handle, stressful or not. I'm so tired of being competitive, that seems like a place I wouldn't have to be.
If there is no hurry in life, why can't I try as many jobs as I did hobbies? Oh yes, becuase once you hit an age you don't have time anymore to experiment.