Aerodynamic (2/5)
A week before the last test, the recruits have a free day for visits. Most of them don’t want free time at all, for the deadline that decides their future is too close to spend the time in petty meetings. Jongin isn’t that concerned, especially when Kyungsoo reminds him that he’s going to pass his whole life in the army if he enters, that he will be able to go out twice a month if he’s lucky. Other soldiers don’t have that problem, not if they’re assigned to the patrols that pass the whole day outside with the civilians. Jongin wouldn’t change the planes for anything. Perhaps it’s something about how they’re terrestrial animals, paws or feet always on the ground, but flying enchants him.
Jongdae is waiting for him in the training fields, surrounded by family from other soldiers, but not talking to anyone. He beams when he spots Jongin, though that expression turns into admiration when he takes Jongin as a whole. Not only because of the uniform, but because Jongin is bigger now, stronger muscles and even taller for how much he has stretched his back during the exercises.
“You look like a freaking alpha. We should mate,” Jongdae taunts him before hugging him. He breaks the contact right away though, and Jongin is about to tell him he became unloving when he notices the gesture of disgust on Jongdae’s face. “You stink of my brother, what the hell.”
Jongin can’t help the smile, one that Jongdae wouldn’t mistake. “Uhm, because I work with him.”
Needless to say, his friend doesn’t buy the excuse. He glances around, as if he expects the rest of the people to explain this to him, and then takes Jongin by the arm and drags him far away from where they can be heard. Jongin doesn't resist, although he knows which questions he's going to receive and he doesn't have good answers for them.
Jongdae stops behind the dorm building, a desert-like zone where the soldiers usually go to smoke, and still baffled, he spits, “You and my brother have...?”
“What? No!” Jongin exclaims, embarrassed. “It's not that kind of-”
He can't even finish, even if he's not sure Jongdae would understand how serious their relationship is growing. Jongdae is scandalized, mouth agape, “No! He can’t! You and me are friends, that means forbidden territory.”
Knowing his brother so intimately, Minseok suggested this might happen, but that doesn't mean Jongin is less perplexed. He has to contain the laughter not to hurt an already resentful Jongdae. “I’m a territory?”
“You’re happy about this, aren’t you?” Jongdae smacks him directly on the chest, indignant. Jongin wouldn't react well if he was in his situation, but he isn't in control of himself when Minseok is around him. “Don’t do this, what if you two become one of those mates that tell each other everything? How am I going to talk you about my stuff?”
Those suppositions are beyond Jongin's thoughts. He hasn't pictured a future with anyone, and it's odd to think Jongdae can do it for him. He figures right then that Minseok isn't the ideal mate one could have, but that if Jongin is admitted into the army, he won't be either. They're condemned to be soldiers first, and even if that's what they want, they will have to put their mates on a second level.
All Jongin responds is, “We're not together.”
“He's coming.”
He looks up at Jongdae, who all of a sudden doesn't look preoccupied with the revelation. Instead, he's sniffing the air with a scowl.
“Who is coming?” Jongin questions him, uneasy.
The other omega glares at him, probably thinking he's taking him for an idiot. “Minseok. Towards us,” he clarifies, crossing his arms. “He can smell you from afar, like you have bonded, I can't believe this.”
Jongin can't smell Minseok though, so he still gets a shock when the alpha walks around the corner like attracted, effectively, by an aroma. He’s exposed as Minseok's eyes find him, not interested in looking at anyone expect him, and he hopes Minseok isn't able to read his thoughts.
“Kim, you have another visit,” he announces, grasping the back of his brother's neck. Jongdae whimpers in discomfort, but he doesn't complain. “Besides, this place is not permitted for visitors, so you better go back before I get angry.”
They stroll back to authorized grounds in silence, just interrupted by Minseok's and Jongdae's bickering and whispering behind Jongin. However, this isn't entertaining anymore, since Jongin can't stop recalling what Jongdae has said: Minseok catches his smell as though they are mates, but they aren't. And much to Jongin's dismay, that means that Minseok has imprinted on him, while Jongin's feelings aren't that clear yet.
As he listens to the brothers arguing in the background, he fears he won't be able to imprint back on Minseok. And it's this fear, the possibility that Minseok may not be his real mate, that shows that he yearns him to be; he wants to be with him, regardless of the fact that he's a general, or Jongdae's older brother, or his teenage crush.
But when Minseok stays back with him, Jongin is invaded by that strange, warm sensation again. He follows his inner wishes instead of his logic and reaches for Minseok’s hand, interlacing their fingers, and then he stares up at Minseok. He perceives the confusion on Minseok’s features, yet he’s not expecting him to retrieve his hand with a frown.
“I'm going to talk with Jongdae.” He takes some steps back, putting distance between them despite the pain that crosses Jongin’s eyes at the refusal. Then, with a tone cold enough to frozen his bones, he adds, “There’s an alpha waiting for you.”
Risking worsening Minseok’s state, he turns around immediately to search among the crowd. The alpha isn’t so hard to find because his eyes are trained on Jongin, but what is hard to understand is why Chanyeol has come here. Jongin is petrified for several seconds, having no idea of what he should do, and then he sees himself approaching Chanyeol as fast as possible. He doesn’t even greet him, aware that Minseok is still observing him with a profound rancor, and drags a perplexed Chanyeol towards the dorms.
The halls are almost empty as they walk to the bedroom, though the few pilots they cross paths with are stunned at Jongin taking an alpha into his dorm. Jongin can’t care less right now, but he knows he will have to deal with Minseok later; Chanyeol is still important, still his friend and someone he wouldn’t harm if he has the chance.
And, when Jongin closes the door of the omegas’ bedroom, he’s almost anticipating Chanyeol’s next words, “Come back.”
He spins to face Chanyeol, and discovers that the alpha is so close that they can breath each other's oxygen. He doesn't mind, because Chanyeol's expression doesn't show he's trying to intimidate him; it's just the habit mixed with a new need of touching him. Jongin is intoxicated with his pheromones, an alarm about how Chanyeol is desperate enough not to have control over his own body.
"I'm not coming back," Jongin replies softly. He's touched by the way Chanyeol gazes at him, not understanding, or not wanting to understand. "I like the army. This... this is for me."
Unless he doesn't pass the last test, which would shove him back home, with Chanyeol and Jongdae, but also with a whole set of memories that would make a normal life depressing. And without Minseok.
Chanyeol sucks on his lower lip, completely lost. "You proved your point, Jongin. You can beat them, you're not a little omega. I w-was wrong about you, and about us. It wasn't until you were gone that I-"
"Stop," Jongin interrupts him and, gathering the courage, he finally dares to push Chanyeol away. Even though he's as sensitive as he's able to be, he watches Chanyeol breaking into pieces in front of him. "I can't go back, and not only because I want to be a pilot. There's someone else, Chanyeol."
Chanyeol does the worst thing Jongin could have imagined: he sits on the nearest bed and sinks his face in his hands, not even bothering to discuss this with Jongin anymore. The omega stands by his side, afraid that touching Chanyeol won't improve anything, yet at the end he kneels before him, hands on his knees.
"You and me weren't together," Jongin reminds him, searching for eyes that don't want to be seen. "We talked about this, you told me."
"I know," the alpha mutters. It takes him a moment to straighten again, eyes red but no more tears in them. Jongin feels his own ankles trembling at the tension, but Chanyeol sounds just as weak as before. "Fuck, I know. I realized when you touched me, you reek of another alpha and...”
“Is it okay?”
Chanyeol is beyond surprised at the question, though Jongin still needs his support. Losing the few friends he has is a mistake, even if Chanyeol has been more than that. At last, he doesn’t have the last word on any friendship, for he decided to leave first, and therefore Chanyeol has the right to abandon him too.
“Of course it is,” he answers after a pause, concern filtering in his voice. They look at each other, and then Chanyeol pulls him up by the arms, hauled into a hug against a body he knows too well. “Whoever he is, though, don’t let him tell you what to do, okay?”
When Jongin separates a bit to stare at Chanyeol, he discovers protection and safety on him. “What?”
“If he has a superior title, make sure he doesn’t use that to control you. Remember what you deserve,” he continues, and he strokes Jongin’s cheek with his thumb. The omega feels the tears flooding his eyes, thinking that he doesn’t deserve Chanyeol, or Jongdae, or anyone. “Remember that you’re not here to be manipulated.”
Given that all the recruits are over eighteen, Jongin supposes they will be more focused on their own lives than on gossiping, but he's wrong. The news about Jongin inviting an alpha to their empty bedroom spreads so fast that he's the last one to know what has happened. The true story soon fades to let space to a bunch of lies: about how Chanyeol already marked him before he joined the army, about how they've had sex in the dorm or about how Jongin was only pretending to like Minseok to gain his favour.
An hour after both Jongdae and Chanyeol leave, Kyungsoo steps into the dorm, stare falling on a Jongin curled on his bed. "Please, tell me you haven't had an alpha here."
Jongin thinks it's not a big deal, but the darkness on Kyungsoo's face says otherwise. "Yes?"
"Now, that explains why Minseok is so pissed," the other omega spits at him, pointing his index finger at him.
Jongin becomes pale, even if this inevitable. He didn't plan his moves logically, and so he has guessed that a simple apology to Minseok later would work. An explanation is everything the alpha should need to trust him, but Jongin starts noticing the hole in his plan. If he was the one chasing after Minseok, while Minseok was unsure about their relationship, and then he disappeared for a long hour with an outsider omega in his room, Jongin wouldn't respond kindly. He probably wouldn't believe him after any reasonable story, blinded by jealousy and pain. And that without taking into consideration the rumors.
Jongin scrapes off the bed, anxious, "But we didn't do anything. We talked!"
"Did you really?" Kyungsoo questions, face contorted into curiosity. It isn't a way of doubting Jongin, but honest obliviousness about why he would drag an alpha into a bedroom not to have sex with him.
It doesn't matter what he did or didn't, and he doesn't need much time to accept that fact. Kyungsoo advises him not to respond to any question in any way, which turns out to be important advice when people try to get a version from him. They don't want the truth, but confirmation of how he has broken Minseok's heart.
Jongin looks for Minseok, yet he's missing to him but not to everyone else. When he attends his last piloting session with a knot in his throat, Minseok isn't there, and besides, he has ordered Kyungsoo to help him with other issue. That leaves Jongin with Baekhyun, who doesn't teach him anything useful despite this being his last chance to learn. Instead of calming him down, he does everything possible to disturb him, and Jongin isn't foolish enough not to sense he's doing it on purpose. Whether it is his own decision or one of Minseok's little vendettas, Jongin prefers not finding it out.
"Are you okay?"
Sehun approaches him two days before the last test, during lunch time. Jongin isn't, however, eating: he's outside on the fields, where he can be alone and free of hostile glares. He doesn't understand why Sehun, out of all people, would support him, but he's here as though he has noticed his absence.
"Just worried, you know," Jongin answers as Sehun sits down by his side. "About how I may be sabotaged during the test for not fucking the General."
Sehun doesn't talk for a long time, and when Jongin isn't waiting for an answer anymore, he perceives Sehun's long arm around his waist. He complies immediately, leaning his head on the alpha's shoulder as he rubs Jongin's side to soothe him. It's odd to find consolation in the same boy that was angry for sharing a dorm with omegas, but Jongin has stopped judging along the way. Neither Kyungsoo nor Sehun are the idiots they seemed to be; the rest, nice and helpful people, haven’t that good to Jongin after the incident. Minseok doesn't even look his way, ever.
"They won't do that to you," Sehun whispers as he ignores how Jongin sinks more and more into his support. "Have you talked with the General Kim, Jongin? He doesn't look like the type to ruin someone's career."
"I thought so too." Jongin is flabbergasted at how bitter his own voice sounds, perhaps because he hasn't been talking much lately. He has no idea why he feels so protected in that moment, words and tears piling in his throat. "But he's clearly avoiding me. And it's so unfair, Sehun, so unfair, because he isn't disposed to hear anything from me and believes other people's lies. And this just makes me think that he doesn't really care, that I wasn't meant to be his omega because I can be forgotten this easily. And he told me he didn't care! That mates from my past were irrelevant, but in the exact moment an alpha appears in my life, Minseok treats me like a delinquent, for not saying another word."
"Look,” Sehun tells him then, retrieving his arm so that they can gaze at each other. “This is a stupid thing that we alphas do. You omegas and betas are much calmer when it comes to jealousy, but we have the protection in our blood, and the moment we see someone we like with another guy… Dude, you don’t know how that feels like. It’s like it burns until the last fiber of your body, and then when you manage to control yourself, you can’t stop thinking about how, in your case, how your omega thinks that you’re not alpha enough for them. You start believing that’s why they need others and…”
Even like that, Jongin doesn’t quite understand. He has experienced jealousy, too, and it hasn’t been a long time since, because Minseok is always surrounded by attractive alphas and betas. And it doesn’t matter it’s for piloting topics, because jealousy isn’t logical, yet Jongin has kept his mouth shut.
“Jongin,” he calls him again, catching him while he zones out. The omega sends him a glance of acknowledgement, still concerned. “Go talk to him at night when he’s alone, or at least not with much people. It’s hard to let one’s pride aside when everyone is looking.”
When he goes back to the bedroom that night, empty stomach, he discovers Kyungsoo has brought him food from the dinner. He doesn't say it, per se, but he's the only omega who is in the room and the dinner can't have appeared by itself on Jongin's bed. They don't talk much, though Jongin lays in bed with him for a while while Kyungsoo sketches programming notes on a notebook. He says that Jongin shouldn't train tomorrow, but rest and prepare mentally for the test, and then forces him to promise. Before drifting to sleep, Jongin ponders if this is all useless; what if he's wrong and Minseok isn't his mate? What if he's renouncing a life outside the army when his real mate is out there? What if it's Chanyeol?
But Minseok has imprinted on him. Fairy tales and love songs always assured him that imprinting means you will always take care of your loved one. Jongin doesn't know what is going wrong, because Minseok seems to prefer pretending he doesn't exist.
Jongin hides in the forest during the last day, runs from time to time and bathes in a near lake. He senses an alpha following him all the time, however, and he fears at first because he indeed has some enemies to worry about. But as the time passes, he concludes the alpha has been sent to watch him, as if someone needed to make sure the only omega recruit doesn't get into trouble.
Being almost alone happens to be useful, for he has made up his mind by the time the night comes. He bursts into the dorm searching for Kyungsoo, and although his other two roommates are there, he doesn't hesitate to speak. "Can you help me to get into Minseok's building?"
The question freezes everyone in the room, but soon Kyungsoo displays one of his smirks, satisfied by the request. “I can get you into anywhere. Getting you out, that’s another story.”
It’s enough for Jongin.
The nerves of the last test are palpable everywhere, and if Jongin wanted to do this with some privacy, it’s clear it will be impossible. At least, the halls are crowded with recruits that can’t sleep and prefer to have a chat outside their room; they all see Kyungsoo and him going out of the building, and Jongin doesn’t doubt there will be rumors about them too by tomorrow. It doesn’t matter much, because if Kyungsoo is skillful enough to infiltrate him into an alpha building, he isn’t going to let the chance pass.
“Are you sure about this?” Kyungsoo asks him as they stroll down across the grounds. It’s so dark that the scattered guards only bother to check if they’re wearing the army uniform, not if they are allowed to be there or not. “First thing Minseok is going to do is kick you out, because-”
“I know,” Jongin interrupts him. There is a wave of confidence growing within, and he makes an effort to remember this is under control. Minseok has imprinted on him, and even if it’s a selfish, immoral thought, Jongin is going to use that in his favor if explanations don’t work. “How are you going to convince the guards?”
Kyungsoo sends him a significant look, as though the question is out of place, and then just says, “Smile prettily, you stupid.”
Before Jongin can act, or reason why he should smile, he’s being dragged in front of two guards, both of them carrying submachine guns and menacing glares. He feels tiny compared to them, since he’s one head smaller, and he doesn’t comprehend how Kyungsoo still looks like he would be able to crush them without blinking.
Then, it hits him: Kyungsoo’s pheromones are filling the atmosphere, and their effect is immediate. Glares are softened and the hold on the weapons isn’t so strong, and even one of the guards starts smiling a bit at Kyungsoo. Jongin never does this, because he has been taught to respect people’s will and not to manipulate them. But in this moment, he’s going to do anything to reach Minseok, and therefore he imitates Kyungsoo’s technique.
“My friend here has been called by an alpha, if you know what I mean,” Kyungsoo begins, blinding teeth and sudden swollen, tempting lips. “We don’t want to upset anyone, do we?”
In fact, the alphas give the vibe that they wouldn’t deny anything to Kyungsoo right now. Even with Jongin’s pheromones in the air, none of them spare him a second of their time. The alpha on the right steps aside, leaving the way open for him, and Jongin believes this is a miracle, just too easy.
“And what are you going to do while your friend is inside?” he asks as Jongin takes advantage to enter.
Already inside, he walks backwards in case Kyungsoo makes a signal. The other omega nods almost imperceptibly so that he goes on, and the last thing Jongin catches is a dazzling smile and a, “I don’t know, what would you do with me?”
Through the darkness and silence of the building, Jongin’s heart races, and so do his legs. He supposes this place is full of veteran soldiers that appreciate more a night with a good rest than one talking and joking. Kyungsoo has given him the instructions to arrive at Minseok’s bedroom, but it isn’t that easy now that he’s alone. He makes a few mistakes and gets lost, and then his brain understands the patterns, because all the familiar names - pilots - are next to each other. Therefore, he walks through them until he spots a plaque with Kim Minseok, General written on it, and it’s like he isn’t that prepared to face him now that he has to do it.
However, Kyungsoo has told him he has to stay in the building for a while, since getting him out immediately would raise the guards’ suspicions - they are going to think we’re stealing something, he said. The speech in his head vanishes as soon as he taps on the door, because he can smell Minseok, that powerful, possessive fragrance that fills every empty space inside him.
The door opens almost as though Minseok has been waiting for him, but he hasn’t. It’s evident because he’s startled at the view, maybe not the bad kind, and he has trouble keeping his eyes open. Jongin has caught him sleeping, off guard, and he’s grateful for that, since otherwise Minseok would have smelt him from afar. He’s wearing only short pants, and it’s ridiculous that in such a serious situation, Jongin’s nature pulls the strings and he has to make an effort not to stare at Minseok’s half nakedness. After all, he has never participated into the fights to teach Jongin, which means everyone gets naked except him.
Jongin finds the first words, yet Minseok overtakes him. “Leave.”
The good part is that rejection was considered an option, but not one that Jongin would allow. He barely gets to insert his foot before Minseok closes the door, and once he does, Minseok doesn’t dare to push anymore, troubled by the thought of hurting Jongin. This is the advantage Jongin has: he knows how imprinting works. It’s almost a cruel part of their world, because it forces one not to be firm in certain situations that they would face in another way without the imprinting. Minseok doesn’t want to talk to him, but only because Jongin is after him. Losing Jongin though would be an unbearable torture.
“If you don’t let me in,” Jongin starts, shaky voice. He doesn’t intend to lie, so he’s going to execute whatever he promises. “I will go back to my room, pick up my things, and leave the army tonight. I won’t take the test. And I won’t come back here again.”
Minseok freezes, not moving the door an inch. His fingers are around the border, and Jongin can’t observe his face, but he watches how his hands tense until his knuckles turn white. His aroma transforms, the fear and the pain noticeable, and Jongin has already won this game.
“Fuck,” Minseok mutters under his breath. He drags the door slowly until they’re exchanging an exceptional stare, one full of secrets being exposed, of Minseok giving in so that Jongin doesn’t abandon him. Jongin doesn’t flinch and Minseok, upon coming to terms with the fact that Jongin has the upper hand, concedes him a, “Get in.”
Jongin passes by in silence, inspecting every little detail of the room. It’s more an office than a bedroom though, packed with books, strategy drawings and electronic items. The bed is undone and messy, and he can guess Minseok has been suffering in his sleep.
That’s not what alarms Jongin, because the moment he breathes in, the air brings him two different alpha scents. And this confirms one of his biggest doubts about Minseok, drowns him in distrust. Jongin hasn’t been imagining the foreign smell around Minseok, nor has he been needlessly paranoid about someone trying to own his alpha.
“This is forbidden zone for you, recruit,” Minseok spits at him after the door is closed, rising the sensation of oppression.
Minseok isn’t troubled by how exposed he is; he climbs on the bed, back leaning against the wall, and raises a brow at him. Even though he’s scolding him, Jongin interprets this like permission to talk. “You told me to come here to discuss our issue.”
The omega restrains all the questions that appear because of the other alpha scent, but it’s not that easy. He has come to give explanations and now wants to demand them. Jealousy is biting on his bones little by little, and he wonders if Minseok would be glad of having paid him with the same trick. If all this is intentional, Jongin may not forgive him; even if they are meant to be mates, Jongin wouldn’t tie himself to an alpha disposed to hurt him.
Since Jongin doesn’t add anything else as he sits down on the bed, Minseok takes the lead, “And? You thought you didn’t have to ask first? That I would want you near me after you fucked another alpha and then expected me to follow you like your puppet?”
He doesn’t look at Minseok, fixing his eyes on the sheets instead. The attack is too forward for Jongin, who can’t decide how to begin to refute him. “I didn’t fuck Chanyeol.”
“I don’t need to know his name.”
Minseok is hostile, too distant. Enough for Jongin to read him, to discern the façade he’s building against Jongin. “I didn’t fuck him.”
“Lies.”
His blood boils, his fury blinds him. Words prove to be useless with Minseok, and Jongin isn’t a liar, he would never be. The truth always guides him through harsh paths, and Jongin would never drift from the way. However, when his attempts are being disregarded this way by someone he cares about, his mind isn’t the one controlling his body.
Jongin jumps onto Minseok, but he reacts so fast that the omega lands on the free bed. He growls as a protest, and a second later his face is pressed against the bed, a pair of legs enclosing his back and immobilizing him. The growl becomes a whine when Minseok releases dominant pheromones; still, Jongin fights to get him off his back, though he only manages to turn around because Minseok loosens his grip on purpose.
He’s panting when his eyes find Minseok, the alpha on top on him without any intention of letting go. Jongin hates knowing that even if he can control Minseok for his feelings, Minseok controls him for his body.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Minseok grunts, both shocked and outraged. And then, in a softer voice, “You didn’t fuck him.”
It still smells like possessiveness and rebellion. The weight against Jongin’s stomach isn’t so heavy anymore, as though Minseok would permit him to shake him off. Jongin doesn’t move, and keeps staring at Minseok’s eyes, a hypnotic tension that doesn’t break in any moment.
“You were the one who didn’t care about the past,” Jongin continues, hissing. “You care. You’re a liar.”
Minseok shows him his teeth, a warning more distinctive of a fight than a verbal argument, and the next complaint dies in Jongin’s lips. “That alpha isn’t in your past, he’s in your present. What were you planning to do, Jongin? Choose me if you entered the army and choose him if you didn’t?”
The question is a punch on Jongin’s chest; it hurts that Minseok would think that of him, or that he would think that at all. It means he isn’t able to trust, perhaps because he’s trained for it, or perhaps because he has been betrayed before. Either way, there is a wall between them, and Jongin is just discovering the foundations.
“That’s ridiculous,” Jongin whispers, lips trembling. Minseok may be right, but at least Jongin would never plan something similar to that; he can’t know what life will give him if he doesn’t succeed tomorrow. “And you’re a hypocrite.”
Minseok is confused for a moment. They both are notably more collected, even if it could be because Minseok is using taming methods on him; something inside Jongin keeps being burnt, about to burst in flames.
“Am I hypocrite?” the alpha asks, incredulous. Jongin looks for a sign of mockery to make sure Minseok know what he’s talking about, but there’s only skepticism in Minseok’s eyes.
Revealing what Jongin has discovered may not be the kindest decision, not when Minseok is completely oblivious. Probably it’s because of that Jongin wants to expose a secret that only Minseok ignores, even if it hurts him or pushes him to get away from Jongin. He can’t tolerate that Minseok is being cheated this way, or that Jongin isn’t able to lift a finger.
“It smells like him everywhere,” Jongin explains at last, the ghost of a profound rancor in his pupils. He has been dealing with this perfume since day one; it accompanies Minseok everywhere he goes, as though he was already mated. “At first I thought it was normal because we all share the installations, but it isn’t because of that. Your room is flooded with his scent.”
The effect of his words is beyond his intuition, and he feels all the power he owns all of a sudden, the type that eats one from inside. Minseok crumbles in front of him, finally comprehending, and all his dominant techniques fade away. There are no more alpha pheromones, or pressure to paralyze him, or intentions to dominate him; there is just an alpha who doesn’t control himself, and who hasn’t been aware of that fact until now.
“He hasn’t been here since long ago, Jongin,” Minseok whispers, broken voice. “I can assure you that.”
It eases Jongin, but not enough. If Minseok had been meeting the other alpha in his bedroom while Jongin was already in the army, he wouldn’t forgive him. Not now, knowing that that alpha is the one who is preventing Jongin from imprinting.
Minseok’s hands rest on his chest, trembling, and Jongin tucks him under his. “Which means his scent is ingrained on you. You didn’t even know it, did you? You’re so used to him that your brain thinks that smell is yours, so you can’t notice it.”
They aren’t looking at each other anymore, for it’s hard to bear with the news, let alone watching the disappointment in their meant-to-be-mate.
“Why can’t I imprint on you?” Jongin continues, but he barely hears himself, as if he is conscious he doesn’t want the truth to be materialized in words. “Because your alpha is marking you as his.”
Although Minseok proposes to sleep with him - the bed is big enough for them not to touch each other - Jongin isn’t disposed to pass his potentially last night in the army surrounded by nervous pheromones. He needs to rest, at least for a couple of hours, and besides Kyungsoo must be waiting for the escape signal. That part isn’t required, because Minseok escorts him to the entrance, pale and silent but caring enough.
The alpha is surprised though when they encounter Kyungsoo waiting outside, the guards still missing and a huge bruise on Kyungsoo’s neck. Jongin would laugh, except because in that exact moment Minseok turns serious.
“Have you used your pheromones again to manipulate people?” Minseok censures him, scowling. Even after seeing his role of General, Jongin has never witnessed him being actually angry, the type of angry that would scare anyone. “You will receive a report tomorrow.”
Kyungsoo opens his mouth several times, speechless, “But we’re not on working time! As far as you know, I only had s-”
“Whether you used your pheromones or not, you had sex to help Jongin to break the rules,” Minseok cuts in. He puts a hand on Jongin’s back, shoves him out of the building without blinking, and then slams the door closed, leaving them in disconcert.
Jongin feels a pang of guilt as he observes Kyungsoo, who isn’t so full of himself anymore. “I’m sorry,” he mutters.
However, the other bats a hand as to make clear it doesn’t matter, and a second later they’re walking back to their dorm. A fleeting glance at Jongin’s expression is enough for Kyungsoo not to ask about what has happened inside, if the cold farewell wasn’t an explicit answer to that.
“Alphas are very sensitive about all that manipulative pheromones thing,” Kyungsoo sighs in despair. “Since most of people here are alphas and betas, they say that if an omega tries to seduce them, whether the omega is the most hateful person in the world or not, they won’t say no.” Then he laughs at Jongin’s horrified face. “I would call bullshit, but I’ve experienced that myself.”
He’s about to ask if Minseok has undergone that sometimes when they arrive at the dorm, but he decides that he prefers not to know. That would pain him, and he’s sure Minseok would get annoyed too if Jongin talked to him about any harassing experience.
“Then there are others that use that as an excuse to grope you, or whatever,” Kyungsoo adds as he shakes his shoes off. Jongin climbs on the bed thinking that, having into account he has a crucial test in the next few hours, he shouldn’t be worrying about Minseok and that other alpha so much, or about if he’s going to face abusive people in the army. “Now go and sleep, and pray you will have a good examiner tomorrow.”
Jongin doesn’t have any luck. There are literally just two recruits who are candidates for the air force, Jongin himself and a beta that he barely has talked to before; and two examiners, Baekhyun and another alpha that looks like he won’t fit in the plane. The base is empty except for the minimum services, and Jongin wonders if no one except the examiners will be there to evaluate them.
They’re forced to wait, since apparently they can’t begin without the higher ranks, so Baekhyun takes the advantage to talk to him.
“Did you sleep well?” he asks with a smirk, noticing the dark circles around Jongin’s eyes. “Heard you were going around with Kyungsoo at night.”
Jongin doesn’t falter, certain that Baekhyun is making fun of him. He probably knows little about last night, mainly because Minseok didn’t have time to reveal anything to his colleagues, and he’s trying to get information from Jongin. They will end up knowing, though, it’s inevitable in such a small place.
“I’m fine,” Jongin responds, aloof.
Baekhyun sends him a challenging stare, not habitual in him, and Jongin supposes he doesn’t take well to be treated coldly. The reproach seems to go next in the conversation, yet Baekhyun spots someone behind Jongin and falls silent immediately. The omega recognizes whom he is before when he feels Minseok’s fingers through his hair, a caress that is out of place in public, but that is meant to encourage him.
As Jongin turns his head to look at Minseok, Baekhyun disappears as though he has been commanded to. Jongin relaxes.
“You will do good,” Minseok assures him, hand stroking down his neck until he stops touching Jongin at all, a soothing smile only for him.
However, Jongin has other concerns that don’t have to do with his own skills. He pushes away the way Minseok makes him feel when he behaves like this, like they are at home and can be normal mates with a normal house and normal pups. Whatever happens, that won’t be possible unless they retire while being too young, unable to get income from anywhere else besides the army.
“Baekhyun? Is this serious?” Jongin protests, eyeing said alpha while he skims around the planes. He doesn’t hide the annoyance in his voice, and since the disapproval starts emerging from Minseok, he decides to be more formal. “He has been impeding my training, General.”
Of course, both Jongin and Minseok are aware that is true. First, because Baekhyun isn’t very discreet about it, even though he’s all smiles and good words; second, because during the last week Jongin has been complaining about this to Kyungsoo, and he undoubtedly has told Minseok.
Yet, Minseok shakes his head. “None of my pilots would be so unprofessional.”
Those are the final words. His fondness is long gone by the time Minseok darts off to discuss the procedures, and Jongin is left only with coldness and loneliness. Before he’s even assigned to an examiner, he has already assumed it will be Baekhyun, and therefore he doesn’t say a word when the alpha approaches him with a smile and a pat on the shoulders. “Come on, little one. You have a great ride ahead.”
Jongin doesn’t say anything. He has already made up his mind, and as he jumps into the plane with Baekhyun and puts his seatbelt on, he thinks that, if Minseok has imprinted on him, he may do anything to be by his side, included leaving the army to live outside. It’s a hopeless delusion, but he takes refuge in it.
“Pilot to the exterior,” Baekhyun orders him, device on hand to write down everything Jongin does. “There will be a circular mark on the track, which is your starting point. When I tell you to take off, you will do it immediately, and from that on you will be under examination until we reach that same mark while landing. Understood, recruit?”
Jongin nods without gazing back at Baekhyun, conscious of Baekhyun’s scrutiny. He notices a plane follows them, and he recognizes right away Minseok and a girl inside it, the latter piloting. Having him close appeases his fear, even if the planes are built so that scents don’t go through them.
He doesn’t have time to breathe once he’s on the mark, for everything happens too fast. Baekhyun gives him the starting signal almost as to catch him unprepared, and Jongin barely manages to do it successfully. He has done this before, not many times, but he convinces himself nothing is scary enough to spoil his test.
That’s it, until Baekhyun speaks, but not to give him directions. “Were you with Minseok last night?”
The omega almost spins on his seat, a fatal mistake that would eliminate him right away. His hands tremble over the control panel, and he has to lift his fingers a bit not to touch anything wrong.
“That’s none of your concern,” he answers at the end, ignoring the rage that shoots through him.
“You don’t tell me what concerns me,” Baekhyun replies without a trace of mercy. “Five degrees to the right, twenty up.”
Jongin grips the toggle until it squeaks under his strength. This is a technique to distract him, and it’s working whether it favors him or not; it’s also not an argument he would evade. “You can ask whatever you want, it doesn’t mean you will have an answer.”
A long silence follows, just a few directions more, probably less than he should be receiving. When they are flying through a cloudy zone, he notices that the cabin is too quiet for an examination, that Baekhyun shouldn’t be the only one allowed to know what happens inside. He dares taking a glance at one of the mirrors, where he spots Minseok and the other girl, both noticeably restless . Much to his luck, their eyes meet through the reflection, which allows him to read the situation without difficulty: Baekhyun has cut contact between the planes, so Minseok can’t hear anything they say.
“You’re only an omega, Jongin,” Baekhyun continues and, surprisingly, there is no malice in his tone. It’s a fact, one that Baekhyun believes and that Jongin has believed for a long time. “If you were an alpha, no one would have given you a second look. How many alphas and betas do you think Minseok has after him? Being a General, and beautiful, and nice?”
Biting his tongue is effective not to respond to that in any way. To begin with, he could be charged with a punishment for insulting a superior, and he doesn’t have anything good to tell Baekhyun right now. He’s losing focus on his objective, thoughts about not deserving Minseok taking over him.
“I think the General wants the connection back,” Jongin whispers instead.
Baekhyun observes him for a few long seconds, and then he checks the other plane as though this was an accidental problem. Before he fixes the connection, he declares, “We didn’t talk about this.”
“We surely didn’t.”
When Jongin gets off the plane, he isn’t trembling anymore. The only aim he has is distancing himself from Baekhyun, regardless of the outcome of his test. He exits the base before Minseok gives them permission to leave, perfectly aware of how the alpha’s eyes follow him both in distress and discontent. It doesn’t matter, although he will be reprimanded for letting feelings interfere with his job, but at this point their personal and army lives are one.
Considering it’s a day dedicated to exams in exclusivity, most of the soldiers are free, enjoying one of the rare days they aren’t under a strict schedule. Jongin finds Kyungsoo smoking with a group of specialized shooters, among laughter and jokes that, to Jongin, are out of reach given his situation.
However, as Jongin approaches, everyone forgets the conversation to look at him.
“You’re already done?” Kyungsoo asks him, not expecting a response. He throws the cigarette on the floor, steps on it and pats one of the shooters as a goodbye. “Let’s go.”
Kyungsoo drags him far away from any group of soldiers, an intimacy that they usually have in the dorm or in the deeps of the forest. Once Jongin feels safe, he doesn’t wait to sputter, “I think Minseok didn’t believe me when I told him he’s still carrying his ex-mate’s scent.”
It’s like Kyungsoo doesn’t need any explanation, like he knew this information way before Jongin did. Perhaps because they are both omegas, it’s easier for them to distinguish when an alpha has been scented.
“But he is,” Kyungsoo confirms, skeptical. “Unless he gets rid of it by himself, the smell won’t go away. I thought it was very weird how he was chasing you when he still had another scent on him.”
Jongin nods, but none of them have a solution to the problem. It’s in Minseok’s hand and how much he trusts Jongin, which may be not much, and that’s reasonable. Minseok has missed the most important years of Jongin’s youth, the ones that form a wolf’s character, and just like Jongin feels he should be careful with how much he confides in Minseok, the sentiment is reciprocal. As far as Minseok knows, Jongin could not have a single good intention towards him.
“What about the piloting?” Kyungsoo insists then, dropping the useless topic.
The younger one shrugs, not really preoccupied about it. He’s conscious of his own performance, and even if Baekhyun or the other girl won’t allow him to enter the force, there isn’t anything they can do.
“Minseok is the responsible of the final decision, you know that.” Jongin catches the mischievous glance Kyungsoo sends him, understanding. And Kyungsoo doesn’t even know that Minseok let him into his room last night just because Jongin blackmailed him with leaving the army. “So I’m in.”
Exploiting Minseok’s imprinting is the last of Jongin’s plans, yet he’s already deep in that fault. A part of him warns that Minseok is aware of that and can’t confront Jongin about, and Jongin tries to push these toxic thoughts out. As he considers it, he’s the one in pain, compromising himself to wait for an alpha that doesn’t know how to let go of his last mate. Jongin is unable to let Minseok go too, maybe because he hopes neither of them wishes that.
The next two days are dedicated to paperwork, admissions and oaths, and Jongin only meets Minseok a couple of times, always from afar and only speaking through their eyes. Once the formal procedures are finished and Jongin is officially a rookie pilot - still in danger of being expelled - Kyungsoo reveals that omegas organize private encounters at least three or four times each month.
“You’re not allowed to talk about it,” he cautions, as their other two roommates laugh at Jongin’s surprised reaction. “And you’ll be grateful you have omega friends. It’s tiring to deal with other ranks’ shit, especially during your heat. If you aren’t mated, you will prefer one of your friends takes care of it.”
Jongin cracks an irritating smile, “Are you offering?”
“You wish.”
“I’d swear you’ve just offered yourself, Kyungsoo,” Jongin keeps teasing, dodging a flying shoe from the other’s bed. “And honestly, I’m used to alphas taking care of my heat. I don’t think you could satisfy me.”
Kyungsoo isn’t the type to get easily mad, but Jongin presses his buttons enough so that they end up fighting on one of the beds. Their roommates don’t break up the fight, encouraging them instead, until Kyungsoo bites him hard on the neck and Jongin hisses in real pain, screaming to stop.
He’s still recovering when a knock on the door startles them, followed by Kyungsoo and a hushed, “It’s an alpha.”
They hesitate to open, but at last they do, discovering a messenger that turns to Jongin with an undecipherable expression. “General Kim Minseok requires you in his private room.”
Jongin experiences a wave of displeasure. “Requires? In his private room?”
“They are official commands, recruit, and you must obey them.”
Now that he has passed all the tests, he has no option but to bow to his superiors. The problem is, like Chanyeol said, that he shouldn’t let Minseok use his rank to have emotional power over him. He doesn’t want to attend his call, yet that would make him an insubordinate; he wonders if other soldiers use this authority to get people into their bedrooms, and by the time Jongin is led to Minseok’s quarters, he’s beyond mad.
It isn’t helpful that his bedroom still reeks of another alpha, if not more than before. Minseok lays on the bed half-naked, again, and Jongin hates himself for noticing things that aren’t important right now, like Minseok’s arms or the way his pants hug his thighs. Minseok has an effect on him that he likes, but that is unfair when Jongin is so indecisive about their future.
“What game are you playing?” Jongin spats at him as soon as they’re alone. Until the tiniest muscle of his body is tensed, willing to find an excuse not to face Minseok tonight. “I don’t want to meet you until you have removed that scent from you.”
The look from Minseok is easy to read; it’s almost pleading with Jongin so that he lowers his defenses for a while. Jongin isn’t sure he’s able. He let his pride aside once for Minseok and it didn’t end well, and he feels like this transforms him into someone worthless.
“Jongin, come here,” Minseok whispers, head descending until his eyes are settled on the sheets. “I need you not to doubt me tonight.”
He still vacillates, but his body responds to Minseok’s words. He kneels on the bed and crawls towards the alpha, who grasps him by the hips as soon as he’s close enough. Jongin isn’t expecting the move, and only releases a soft whine as Minseok presses him against the bed. It happens too fast, and it doesn’t feel weird; Jongin abandons himself to it, Minseok inhaling and licking in the crook of his neck. He just moves his head to the side so that his skin is more exposed, senses Minseok’s pause before he licks over a throbbing vein, warm tongue that dilates Jongin’s senses. He doesn’t withhold moaning, and he barely contains the need to spread his legs to feel Minseok’s crotch against his. His vision turns white for a few seconds, in which the only thing that exists is Minseok’s mouth on him.
But Minseok halts. He licks once and then nuzzles, relaxes as Jongin’s smell surrounds him, and Jongin knows this is all they’re going to do. It’s enough, and not too much, the type of bonding they need right now. Jongin plays by nestling against him, hands roaming over Minseok’s arms and mouth searching the curves of Minseok’s chest.
It’s a misstep. The proximity allows him to drown in Minseok’s scent, but it also lets him gather other signals. The foreign alpha’s scent isn’t there just because he has forced it onto Minseok; there are recent marks in certain spots, which means a simple, crude thing.
“He has been touching you.”
Jongin’s whole body aches in realization, not in need of the affirmation. However, he discovers Minseok’s pupils observing him, careful, fearing, as he considers the answer. “Yes.”
Immediately, Jongin snaps, a snarl that rises from his throat. That isn’t supposed to happen in human form, unless one is disturbed enough for the wolf to dominate his rational self. He writhes to liberate himself, but Minseok is too strong and locks him in his place with little effort. “Wh-?”
“Don’t,” Minseok begs, gentle voice and rigid arms. “There is a reason for that. Just… stay.”
This time, Jongin plainly growl, “What reason could possibly explain why he got his hands under your clothes?”
“A good one,” Minseok insists, and his hold becomes a caress from Jongin’s wrist to his shoulders, as though he’s certain Jongin won’t try to leave again.
Their breathing is the only sound in the bedroom for a long minute. Jongin surfs in Minseok’s features without faltering, disposed to hunt for a lie, for the ultimate motive that would make him renounce Minseok. Minseok offers unadorned hope.
“He touched you here,” Jongin murmurs as he reaches for Minseok’s chest again. He strokes down, fingertips reacting to every inch of skin that has been contaminated. He continues with Minseok’s shoulders and neck. “And here.” He realizes the alpha has closed his eyes, leaning to his touch, and it’s such an intimate moment that he rages inside. Because a moment like this shouldn’t be spent thinking about people and jealousy, just about them two; it should be pleasant and worth remembering. “Why did he touch you? This isn’t a competition to me, he isn’t a part of it. I won’t fight this way, I will just catch him when he’s alone and will crack his ne-”
Minseok seizes his jaw before he can finish his threat, whether it’s possible or just an overflow of envy, and Jongin becomes quiet at the stare he receives. The teary eyes leave him breathless, suddenly aware of how much this means to Minseok compared to what it means to him. He has imprinted on Jongin, so both his mind and body are convinced the omega is his. Just that he can’t have him, because Jongin isn’t in the same stage than he is.
“Please, take him off me,” Minseok supplicates, head trying to be buried against Jongin’s clothed stomach. The omega pets his hair, not knowing of how to fix that, but wanting, wanting it so much. “Please.”
“One, two, three!”
Kyungsoo grips the back of Jongin’s head and drives him into the lake. As Jongin has suspected, the omega has some type of odd strength, dangerous given that he doesn’t use it for good actions. Jongin considers transforming into his wolf, but the last time he did that in a lake, he found out it was much harder to swim.
When Kyungsoo allows him to breathe again, the laughter bursts from the shore. Jongin can’t distinguish who is laughing because the darkness is already deep, but he supposes that there won’t be any omega who doesn’t find the situation funny. It has been a while since Jongin attended the omega meetings, and he has to admit that Kyungsoo was right: at the end, they’re his confidants, his real new family, though the pilots were supposed to fill that hole.
“You have to improve that, Kim,” says Luhan, who has been working in the navy for five years. It’s known that they are the less useful side of the army, because packs only care about protecting their territory, not about owning more of them; those territories that are across the ocean don’t appeal to them. “What are you going to do if your plane crashes into the sea?”
Jongin climbs out of the lake and shakes off the water by moving his head. “Swim? Kyungsoo won’t be there to push me downwards, that’s stupid.”
“You really think so?” Kyungsoo asks as he follows, obliging him to serve as a pillow. He leans his soaked hair onto his stomach with an annoying grin. “Imagine your copilot is in panic, they will totally drag you down with them.”
However, that doesn’t bother him right now. He furrows his eyebrows and tries to push Kyungsoo away, but his friend shows him his teeth in warning; then he laughs.
Jongin whines, “Don’t do that, Minseok will smell you later.”
“Then don’t go to warm his bed.”
Luhan and a few others sneer at the attack, amused. There are barely any secrets among them, so they all know Minseok calls him every night, sometimes showing up at his door by himself, and sometimes sending a soldier in his place. He and Minseok haven’t discussed the topic much further, but words aren’t needed in this case: he knows that Minseok wants him in his bedroom so that Jongin leaves his scent both on his room and on him. He would feel used if it wasn’t because half of the time they’re meeting, they’re spending it in superficial activities, like running in the forest, or fighting, or hunting.
Kyungsoo calls it courting, but no one can speak for Jongin or Minseok. No one believes that they aren’t mating, either way, so that shows how little they know.
“I’m not warming his bed,” Jongin protests, and he isn’t sure how many times his lips have formed that sentence. “It’s hard when I can smell two alphas at the same time. Like, I can’t really focus.”
“Maybe you should learn to take two alphas,” Luhan proposes, exchanging a malefic look with Kyungsoo.
Playful, Jongin opens his mouth to reply, but his words are never heard. A howl pierces the air, deafening, and everyone in the lake adopt the alarm position - a few even turn into their wolves. It's unnecessary, though, because the call is for the air force: Jongin wouldn't mistake Minseok's howl, no matter the distance between them. Jongin jumps on his feet, eyes looking for Kyungsoo, and he receives a nod to get into motion.
Both of them run as wolves to the base, encountering their colleagues in the way, most of them coming from the dorms. Jongin feels the tension in the atmosphere, as though they know what to expect and don't like it, while he's completely oblivious about what is ahead.
They're led to separate quarters, in which there is a different head pilot to explain to them what they have to do. Much to their luck, Jongin is in the quarter Minseok is in, although a quick glance shows that it's because Minseok has chosen to manage his closest pilots by himself; Baekhyun is by his side, and Junmyeon and Yixing are among the rest of the guys. Jongin and Kyungsoo are the last to arrive, and as soon as the door is closed, Minseok talks.
“As most of you already know, a few pilots have been missing since two months ago,” he begins, indecipherable features. He eyes Jongin for a few seconds, as though he's expecting a reaction, as though he's trying to tell him this is serious. “One of our pilots was patrolling the north tonight, and happened to spot from her plane a group of wolves without their pack. They are in the pits of a cliff, and we have no idea how they got there, but the thing is,” Minseok sighs, overwhelmed, “They have Yifan.”
The reaction could have been dramatic, but it is worse than that. The silence is awful, a period in which Jongin inspects each face in the quarter and discovers that they're coming to terms with a dreadful fact: they're going to rescue Yifan, but he may not get out of there alive.
“How is he right now?” Junmyeon dares asking, stare on the ground.
Minseok just shakes his head not to answer. He motions towards the pilots and continues. “Get individual planes until they're over, and in that case get paired with your usual partner. Don't turn off the connection because we don't know what to expect, and therefore I’ll need to give you orders at any time. Baekhyun, you come with me. Kyungsoo, make sure our squadron has enough fuel before we part.”
They don't need another detonator to start working; everyone gets into motion except Jongin, who isn't sure of his role. He isn't allowed to pilot a plane by himself yet, but he doesn't have an official partner either. However, he doesn't wait for long, because as the quarter is being emptied, Minseok approaches him with a firm gaze and grave aspect.
“You aren’t coming, Kim,” he announces, unaffected by the imminent surprise on Jongin's face.
He tries to walk past Jongin, yet the omega catches his arm, fingers sinking in the flesh. “What?” he whispers, a knot in his throat. It takes a lot of effort not to shatter because of the discrimination. The other rookie pilot is probably going to fly tonight, so it's always Jongin the one who is left isolated, attached to an air force that doesn't let him join any mission. “Of course I’m going.”
Minseok must notice the trembling in his tone, the way Jongin presses his arm desperately, almost as pleading not to be left behind. He groans lowly, realizing his mistake, and cups Jongin's face between his hands. Jongin wouldn't care if someone caught them being affectionate with each other; he only cares about the reasons why Minseok considers him not competent enough. Not for the army, not to pilot, not to be his mate.
“Jongin, you’re not ready,” Minseok explains carefully, thumb rubbing over his cheek.
It's a lie. Hearing those words is everything Jongin needs to understand why Minseok is compelling him out of the rescue, and he has trouble controlling the anger. Chanyeol told him about this, but Jongin didn't think it would happen in these circumstances: Minseok is applying his authority, as always, but the reasons aren't related to the army. The alpha only sees Jongin right now, and not beyond him, and that's dangerous for his life.
“You’re breaking the rules. The army before your mate, remember?” Jongin hoarsely hints. It's a weak attempt to bring logic back to Minseok, yet it doesn't work. On the contrary, Minseok seems disconcerted at the word mate, too conscious that Jongin has just presented himself as his; that it's his obligation to protect the one whom he has imprinted onto, and now, the one who also wants to love him back. “You can’t leave me out just because you’re afraid tha-”
Pupils dilated as they observe Jongin in eagerness, Minseok steps back. It's a security measure not to allow Jongin to affect him in his decision although, inevitably, Minseok's mind doesn't work how a general's should. He's already infected by the imprinting and his omega, and the instinct that tells him his only aim in life is to protect his mate.
“I can,” he assures him, and then turns around to find his plane.
Instead of sleeping in his bedroom, Jongin speeds to Minseok's. The guards are so familiar with him visiting the dorm that they barely hesitate, not stopping him at last. It's absurd that Jongin needs to choke himself against Minseok's sheets, just to feel and smell him, considering he's the cause of his distress. Not because the simple fact that Jongin isn't in the mission, but because of what it implies. It means he doesn't have Minseok under his watch, that he could get hurt, or die, and Jongin wouldn't know nor would he be able to help him.
He whimpers against the pillow, aware that the waiting is going to be torture, and that he won't forgive Minseok for this even if he's safe here. Jongin isn't supposed to be safe.
Jongin doesn’t notice the alpha’s presence until Minseok’s arms are around him. He’s disoriented for a few seconds, gasping at the sudden touch, but he relaxes as soon as the pheromones invade his senses. He hates himself for it, even if that means he’s not in complete control over Minseok anymore, that he’s being affected too, the loads of the relationship not so unbalanced.
The peaceful moment doesn't last long, and Minseok doesn't stop Jongin when he slips away from his embrace. He stays on the edge of the bed as he puts his shoes on, Minseok rolling over to stare at him. He doesn’t have to ask why Jongin slept on his bed; he knows.
“Sorry for what I did,” he apologizes, sitting up. He caresses Jongin's back, yet he doesn't get the affection back. Though Jongin may need him now, somehow, that doesn't imply he will forgive his insult. “I can’t think straight with you around.”
Jongin gets up from the bed, attempting to shake off the way Minseok makes him feel - as if he's enclosed in a cloud, blind to the rest of the world. ”You have to. Or I’ll have no place here.”
It's a firm, logical decision. He would appreciate the care in other conditions, it would even be touching, but the army doesn't work this way. Jongin has proved he's valid, that he's here to be part of the air force, not to be kept in the quarters like a kid. Not to be the General's lover or mate, with the mere purpose of pleasing him when he comes back from a dangerous task.
Minseok blinks at him before diverting his gaze to the floor. It's in that moment that Jongin focuses on his uniform, dirty and ripped everywhere, and the dry blood on it. His hands are stained with fresh blood though, and remembering that Minseok has just touched him, Jongin inspects himself just to find that he has the blood of several wolves on him too. None of them belongs to Minseok.
“We need distance,” the alpha decides, so low that he may be trying, as well, not to be heard
“Distance?” Jongin repeats, bitter. He's right, despite not making any sense, and that's what disturbs him the most: being together is pure nonsense. “You want me to leave my scent on you, but without me being close to you?”
The answer is a nod, though the question is rhetorical. Jongin feels like vomiting. If he can't spend so much time with Minseok, he will have to detach the scent by himself. It isn't like Jongin replacing the smell is the best solution either, but leaving all the work to Minseok is an unsteady strategy. He fears that, deep inside, Minseok doesn't wish to let his ex-mate go.
“We're approaching this the wrong way,” Minseok continues, tortured. His fists tremble, and even if Jongin is scared, he still shuffles towards him in worry. The bed dips under his weight, his mind automatically thinking how he could calm Minseok down. “I put people in danger tonight because I... I wanted to come back to you. I... was more worried about the stupid, little fact that you would be mad at me, instead of about having a pilot on the verge of death.”
The omega places his hands on Minseok's chest, perceiving how his breathing halts all of a sudden, how he glances up at Jongin in wonder. He reads him easily, because Jongin's eyes are interested on Minseok's lips, drunk with thoughts that don't have anything to do with who could have died today. It's selfish, but he only cares about the fact that maybe, and just maybe, he's able to provoke the imprinting.
Lips parted, he reaches for Minseok's mouth. The alpha turns his head immediately, eyes closed, and Jongin doesn't bother to kiss him on the cheek. He clenches Minseok's uniform in frustration, accepting a rejection that he has expected, but he has hoped not to have to confront.
“That's so unfair to me, Jongin.” Minseok warily shifts him out the bed, not daring to look him in the eye. “Don't lie to me. Don't try theories on me when they might not work. I'm not unbreakable.”
Part 3