Freaking out

Apr 21, 2003 18:17

My mom thinks that my college decision is hers. It's not so great when your mom tells you, "I don't know" to the "will you let me to go to Sterling?" days before I have to make up my mind. I was talking about visiting again and she went on to talk about going there. I've ruled out every college but Sterling and College of the Atlantic, and she wants me to go to CoA even though I think the whole human ecology major is a load of bull. And they only have one major, by the way.

Yeah, my college visits: I only went to College of the Atlantic and Unity. Unity was eh, but it just wasn't challenging enough for me. I met the most beautiful people at CoA. When we were dancing to Zion Train, who are awesome, I bumped into this girl, and she took my hand and spun around. People were so easy to talk to and just came up to me, plus, the food there is too die for. I've never had so many Vegan options in my life, so many choices as to what to eat in about half a decade; I almost didn't know what to do with myself. They have this scary, awesome, rope swing there that I somehow managed to do, twice. I was shaking so hard though that the whole branch started to shake with me, and I had to talk about bunnies and happiness and freedom -- out loud! -- in order to calm myself down. I had a water gun fight with another girl and farmed rocks out of the garden and weeded spinach plots and gathered sticks and lost miserably in pool and talked about books and had a lot of fun, basically. When we went to visit classes, the other visiting students and I particpated like it was our own class that we were going to, which was so awesome. But I don't think I want to go there, really. It's so within my comfort level, and reading their senior requirement essay, I knew that I could already write that essay. People at CoA learn to connect different classes to each other, but I already know that interconnection. They are removed from the land, and the town, and the people though, and that is more what I am looking for. The townspeople view them as rich trust fund babies pretending to be dirty hippies and there is a very bad connection between the town and the college. And while the college was cool and individual courses are awesome, the overallness of it and the fact that everything is made to look pretty and you can hear the traffic from the college just I din't like. Plus you can also hear the sea from lots of the campus and see it as well, and it's sad and spooky and I don't understand it and I've lived my whole life near the sea and I want something different. Hey, maybe they won't even give me any money.

But they have good muffins.

Maybe I'll go visit Sterling again and not want to go there. But I doubt it. Somebody from Sterling just called and asked me if I had any questions about my financial aid award, and I said "no." He also asked me if I had made up my mind, and I said "I want to go to Sterling but my mom doesn't want me to, so we're fighting." He said that he could get student's moms to talk to my mom and to call him if he could help me at all.

Out first play practice was today and half the people didn't show and most were really late and it was not good in that matter.

I miss my girl. How will college work?

I have not started my homework. It is heavy on my mind. But not that heavy. Or I'd do it then, right?

If you have old jigsaw puzzles 750 pieces and up please lend them to me. And if you have really fun 500 pieces one that could work too.

I am learning Poi, which is perhaps not such a good idea for me. I already know a few tricks though. I used permanent markers attatched to string and hit myself a lot with them. Every once in a while they would hit each other or the wall or ceiling and I would have to go find the caps that flew off. And then one of the markers broke and splattered all over the floor and door. So it's not coming off any time soon. Then I used lollipops but one broke and I decided that I should wait to get glow sticks.

Lauren mom, you should sleep over my house because it is vacation and you should spend more time with Bryan, so go! ask your dad!
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