Grad school musings
Just some thinking I'm doing today that I thought I'd put down here and allow comments on if you wish- hearing other people's thoughts on it would help me a lot, I think. Reading it would be much appreciated. :)
So, from when I was about twelve up until the end of my first year of college, my "Plan" was to finish my four years of undergrad, psych major with premed, and go right on to med school and eventually become a psychiatrist. After a lot of contemplation during the summer following my first year at Smith, I came to the conclusion that the med school path was not for me. I found that I was more interested in becoming a practicing counselor/therapist/psychologist. A psychology doctorate comes in two forms- the PhD, which is more academic/research oriented, and the PsyD, which is more clinically oriented. The PhD does the research, the PsyD uses the research. Of course it's a little more complex and interlinked than that, but essentially, that's mostly what it comes down to. So, since I'm less interested in doing research and more interested in practicing therapy, my "Plan" changed to include going on to a PsyD program after I finish at Smith. Also, since graduate programs in psychology can be very selective, I decided to also plan on applying to some Master's level programs in counseling, social work, etc. You can't do quite as much with a Master's as you can with a doctorate (for example, you can't call yourself a psychologist), but you can get into the field and practice and such. And after some work experience at the Master's level, I could try again for the doctorate if that's still what I want. But, I digress.
For the past few months, I've been seriously thinking about taking a year off between Smith and whatever I end up doing for grad school. There are two main reasons for this. One reason is money- I'm going to be getting a lot less (if any) help from my parents for grad school than for undergrad (I agree with them that this should be the case), and I think it would help a great deal for me to work for a year and save up some money. Another reason is that I simply am finding that I'm burned out on academics and I might just need a break to regain some of my motivation.
The reason I'm thinking so much about this right now, though, is because today for the first time, my mom hinted that she doesn't think it's the best idea. I guess I can see why, from her perspective. In the field that I'm getting into, grad school is what comes next. It's part of what you have to do. All my life up until now, there's never been any question that I was going to do what comes next. College comes after high school. I never thought about it. Sure, I thought a lot about *where* I was going to go to college, but I never thought about *if* I was going to. There was never any question at all. And I don't mean for it to sound like my parents just pressured me into it, because that's not true, it was as much me as it was them. And it's not that I didn't *want* to go to college- I did, very badly. But my point is, whether or not I had wanted to, I would have gone. I'm just lucky that I did want to, you know? College was just what came next. I never thought twice about it.
But now I AM thinking twice about grad school. I could go to grad school for one of two reasons: I could go because I'm passionate about learning more about psychology, excited to advance in the field, eager to meet higher-ups and learn from them, stoked to do experiments and internships and soak up all the knowledge that I can, really get my money's worth, emerge with a degree that had heart and soul, not just intellect, put into it. Or, I could go to grad school because that's what comes next. I definitely want to go for the first reason, not the second. And right now, I feel like if I were to go fresh out of undergrad, it would be for the second reason. Maybe that'll change by this time next year and I'll be applying like mad and praying for acceptances and ready to roll, but right now I'm just not anticipating that. What I AM anticipating is a year off getting me the break I need at first, and then getting me energized and ready to go back and learn, really WANT to learn, not just go through the motions. Is there really anything wrong with that?
So, from when I was about twelve up until the end of my first year of college, my "Plan" was to finish my four years of undergrad, psych major with premed, and go right on to med school and eventually become a psychiatrist. After a lot of contemplation during the summer following my first year at Smith, I came to the conclusion that the med school path was not for me. I found that I was more interested in becoming a practicing counselor/therapist/psychologist. A psychology doctorate comes in two forms- the PhD, which is more academic/research oriented, and the PsyD, which is more clinically oriented. The PhD does the research, the PsyD uses the research. Of course it's a little more complex and interlinked than that, but essentially, that's mostly what it comes down to. So, since I'm less interested in doing research and more interested in practicing therapy, my "Plan" changed to include going on to a PsyD program after I finish at Smith. Also, since graduate programs in psychology can be very selective, I decided to also plan on applying to some Master's level programs in counseling, social work, etc. You can't do quite as much with a Master's as you can with a doctorate (for example, you can't call yourself a psychologist), but you can get into the field and practice and such. And after some work experience at the Master's level, I could try again for the doctorate if that's still what I want. But, I digress.
For the past few months, I've been seriously thinking about taking a year off between Smith and whatever I end up doing for grad school. There are two main reasons for this. One reason is money- I'm going to be getting a lot less (if any) help from my parents for grad school than for undergrad (I agree with them that this should be the case), and I think it would help a great deal for me to work for a year and save up some money. Another reason is that I simply am finding that I'm burned out on academics and I might just need a break to regain some of my motivation.
The reason I'm thinking so much about this right now, though, is because today for the first time, my mom hinted that she doesn't think it's the best idea. I guess I can see why, from her perspective. In the field that I'm getting into, grad school is what comes next. It's part of what you have to do. All my life up until now, there's never been any question that I was going to do what comes next. College comes after high school. I never thought about it. Sure, I thought a lot about *where* I was going to go to college, but I never thought about *if* I was going to. There was never any question at all. And I don't mean for it to sound like my parents just pressured me into it, because that's not true, it was as much me as it was them. And it's not that I didn't *want* to go to college- I did, very badly. But my point is, whether or not I had wanted to, I would have gone. I'm just lucky that I did want to, you know? College was just what came next. I never thought twice about it.
But now I AM thinking twice about grad school. I could go to grad school for one of two reasons: I could go because I'm passionate about learning more about psychology, excited to advance in the field, eager to meet higher-ups and learn from them, stoked to do experiments and internships and soak up all the knowledge that I can, really get my money's worth, emerge with a degree that had heart and soul, not just intellect, put into it. Or, I could go to grad school because that's what comes next. I definitely want to go for the first reason, not the second. And right now, I feel like if I were to go fresh out of undergrad, it would be for the second reason. Maybe that'll change by this time next year and I'll be applying like mad and praying for acceptances and ready to roll, but right now I'm just not anticipating that. What I AM anticipating is a year off getting me the break I need at first, and then getting me energized and ready to go back and learn, really WANT to learn, not just go through the motions. Is there really anything wrong with that?