FIC: 5 Times Dick Casablancas Never Saved the Day (PG-13ish)
Title: 5 Times Dick...
Author:
missqteeone
Disc: I do not own Veronica Mars in any way, shape or form. Jessica is from my future-fic series
Rating: Pg-13ish
Pairings: L/V, M/D, Dick/Jessica (OFC), Duncan/Meg and a smidgen of V/Piz. eew.
Summary: Swimming, The Grand, Babysitting, The Crash, Piz
**
1
The hand holding is nice. God knows Madison never wanted to hold your hand. So when ‘Kenzie’ grabs your hand one day, it’s a reassuring feeling. A nice feeling. You see Logan’s head a few people ahead of you, and he’s doing that weird ‘flirt/pick on/up’ thing to Ronnie, and she’s laughing and it’s all very lame of you all. It makes you think of before when Lilly was still alive and whorin’ and when Duncan still lived in the U.S. Except now Ronnie’s the skank and you’re the Bad Boy.
“Dick! Dude, walk faster.” Logan shouts back at you, only for a distraction, because then he’s hauling Ronnie over his shoulder and heading for the ocean. You turn to Kenzie, and she just glares at you. She’s psychic to your evil plans. It sucks. So you hold her hand tighter and run off the boardwalk to see Logan toss Veronica into the Ocean.
Mac’s laughing, and you’re laughing, and Veronica’s being tossed. But at the last second she grabs Logan’s shoulder and the movement fricken summersaults them both into the ocean. Logan flipped over her head! Mac stops laughing and you realize that neither of them popped back up. Swearing, your shoes are coming off and you hand your shirt to Mac. Fifteen years of swimming in the ocean have trained you for this moment. You dive into the freezing cold water, and see Veronica under the water. You yank her back up the surface and she’s coughing up all over you. It’s pretty nasty. You make sure she’s okay, before going back down for Logan. You swim out a little further before going down, and you see him, caught on some rock thing near the bottom. You don’t even think before you’re ripping his shorts off and head back for shore.
You’re doing CPR, even though you really don’t know how to do it, and then Logan is coughing up all over you too.
“I just went to first base with Logan AND Veronica.” You announce weakly, suddenly remembering you need to breathe. Mac-Attack’s arms are going around you and she’s hugging you- hard. Veronica’s legs are wrapped around Logan’s waist and she’s peppering kisses over his face.
“You did good, Dick.” Mac whispers. She kisses you on the cheek and it makes you happy.
“Thanks Cinds.” You tell her. You kiss your shorty’s head and pat Logan hard on the back.
“Lamb likes busting you guys for sex in public. Remember that.” You tell him before taking putting your shirt back on. You turn to leave with Mac, and then Ronnie runs up to you and kisses your cheek.
“In case you didn’t know, I forgave you a long time ago, Richard Casablancas.”
“Thanks, Ron-Ron.”
**
2
You saw Ronnie looking around for the Beav and Ghost World. Then Logan mysteriously disappears. Trouble’s brewin’. Curiosity provoked, you head after Logan, and you get there and Beaver’s got a gun pointing to Veronica, and you’re hella fucking confused.
“Cassidy. Dude, put the gun down. She’s a bitch, but she’s not worth killing.” You say, putting your hands out, in that way that Negotiators use on TV. Beaver looks at you and then back at Veronica and then Logan flies out of nowhere and tackles him. You go to Beaver and Logan goes to Veronica.
“He blew up the bus. He raped me!” Veronica’s yelling and you feel your head spinning. You didn’t want the Beav to rape Ronnie. But maybe he thought you did.
“Beav, dude-” you start, but he’s looking at the railing. You slam him to the ground to stop him from jumping. He squirms, and you slap him once- gently.
“Beaver-” Veronica spat, “Was raped on his little league team. Two of the kids who HE KILLED were going to go to the cops so Woody wouldn’t be the Mayor. Beaver BLEW up a BUS to keep them quiet! He killed Curly, and he killed MY FATHER and I AM GOING TO KILL HIM.” Veronica shot out at him, and then Logan’s arm was around her.
“You’re not a killer, Veronica.” He assures her, holding her close. She’s crying, and you wish that someone would hold you and tell you everything was going to be all right.
You’re shocked as hell. You brother killed innocent people. He was raped. And then raped Veronica and killed her father. This was just too messed up.
“Logan call Lamb.” You say, your voice oddly clear. “Beav’s Suicidal and he needs to go to Jail.” You look down at your little brother, and then you’re crying. He can’t do this to you. You whole family sucks, but Beaver was supposed to be your brother. He was supposed to be the one you could rely on. Not a killer.
“Dude, it was supposed to be the two of us. Mom, Dad, and now you? What the fuck am I supposed to do?”
**
3
“Dick, if you so much as make Keith cry, I’ll kill you.” Veronica says in a rush, handing you her ten year old and his bag o’ stuff. Keith smiles up at you as you bounce him around, and he makes you smile. Kids like you. They can tell you’re cool. And now that Veronica’s Wifey hooked you up with his hot lawyer friend, you’re golden.
“Dick’s the BEST.” Keith informs his mother, and you laugh. “I’m a big boy! Big boys don’t cry.”
“Thanks, Dick. I know if Logan wasn’t- wherever Logan is, he would watch him, and it’s only for a few hours while I take the Leah to the doctor and shopping.”
“Eew! SHOPPING.” Keith frowned kissing his little sister’s forehead. Leah was starting to crawl out of car seats already. She latches onto her mother’s hot leg, and happily puts her hand out to you for a high five. You slap her little palm and she giggles.
“Dick!” She coos and Ronnie picks her up before kissing Keith on the top of his head. The second Veronica drives away Keith starts asking you questions about his Dad.
“Logan went to visit Trina in L.A. She’s marrying some B celebrity, hoping to bring up her C-celeb status,”
“Who’s Trina?”
“Trina’s your Dad’s Sister. So your Aunt. Only adoptive aunt, thankfully. Trust me you don’t want to meet her- she’s an odd one.” You confess. Jessica comes out of the bathroom and is a little shocked to see a kid there. You practically see her thinking about ways to punish you- kinky.
“Oh. Jess. This is Keith Mars II. Not mine, don’t worry. Ronnie had an emergency. She thinks she’s pregnant again and she freaked, so I said that I’d watch Key here, until she gets back.”
Jessica shrugs and holds her hand out to the kid. Keith shakes it and smiles, “You’re VERY pretty. Almost as pretty as my Mommy.”
“And you’re very good chick magnet,” She says with a little glare at you. How does she always know your devious plans? You shrug, and pull her close before nuzzling the side of her face.
“There’s only one chick for me.” You tell her honestly, before she presses herself against you and kisses you, hard. You grin against her mouth, and you do a little grind against her before you remember that Keith is still there.
“Have fun at work, sweetie.” You leer at her, trying to control your hormones. She grabs her briefcase and struts out the door. You will probably visit her at dinnertime and have a quickie in her boss’ office. You’re going to propose soon. You have to talk to Logan when he gets back, but you want Jessica to have your babies.
Keith is playing with your Playstation, using Logan’s controller, and you pray to whoever’s listening up there that you don’t end up like Logan and Veronica. You don’t want to be tragically in love with your ex, and not be able to see your kids, or see Veronica fat with some other dude’s kids. God that would suck.
Speaking of Suck- The door’s opening to your new house and Logan comes in panting.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Hey, Keith.” Logan is still panting and quickly locks the door behind him. “That was the wedding from Hell. Why didn’t you tell me Derrick was going to be there? He kissed my sister and I almost hit him!”
“Dude needs to get hit a few times in the head.” Keith added, his glance not leaving the screen.
**
4
You’re a trust fund baby. You know it, your brother knows it, and all your maids/staff know it. You could careless about the rest of the world. But somehow when you see a bus about to fall off a cliff, you need to do something. Weevil, that biker guy is getting chains out of his bike-pouch thing, and you quickly decide to hook the other one under the limousine. Duncan and Logan and the Beav are grabbing onto the chains and you signal to the driver to floor it. Veronica trots over to Weevil and he gets off his bike to pull. Seeing Veronica Mars riding Weevil’s hog will have many laughs in the future.
“Dick- Meg’s in there.” Duncan’s telling you, and you nod. Getting a good grip on the chain, you motion to Ronnie and the bike moves. It seems stupid that you and a few of the privileged kids are trying to pull a bus. That’s not moving.
Beaver’s yapping about rear wheel drive in buses and Duncan calls Meg to tell her to try and get the bus in reverse. You see her purple shirt moving to the front of the bus, and she’s yelling something and the kids on the bus all rush to the back to keep it level.
“Dudes! JUMP OUT THE BACK!” You yell. You guys are breaking your hands keeping it level, and the simple solution is to jump out of the back. Like in elementary school when he had to ride the bus that one time before his Dad made a few calls.
The kids are jumping out, followed by Meg and then Weevil’s bike gives out and then the bus is fucking going over the cliff. Logan’s hands are burning and you’re pretty sure he’s crying. Veronica’s running into his arms and- the bus just went over the cliff.
The bus. Over the cliff. Damn.
“Good job, Dickie.” The Beav nudges you.
**
5
“Daddy!” Erica squealed, launching herself into her father’s arms. Logan couldn’t hide his smirk towards Piz, so he didn’t even try. His baby loved him. That’s all that really mattered anymore. “Stosh took me to the park and dropped a popsicle on me! He’s a MEANIE.” Erica pouted, her blonde pigtails making her look even more innocent.
“There was an incident with a screaming Casablancas.” Piz explained, handing Logan her bag. Kissing Erica on the forehead, Logan did his best to hide his amusement at her tiny pink tongue sticking out in disgust. His Five year old was the best. And she knew it.
“Dick?” Logan asked, putting Erica back down on the ground. Taking Erica’s little hand in his, he handed her the green backpack and smiled awkwardly at Piz. What was one supposed to say to the guy who’s with the Mother of your Child? Thankfully he never saw Piz- his job with Rolling Stone kept him pretty busy away from Neptune. “Well, thanks Piz. Tell V I’ll drop her off Thursday.”
Piz nodded before heading back to his car.
“He smells like Ass.” Erica said nodding as he walked away.
“Be nice to Piz, Erica. He’s not a bad guy.” Logan said gently crouching down low. “Mommy needs to be Mommy for awhile. And you can’t blame Piz for being a good guy. Make fun of his lame taste in music.”
Giggling, Erica hopped towards the Rover and waited for her father to catch up. “I get to see my NEW ROOM! HURRY UP!”
*
“Dick let the stroller roll down the hill. Poor little Dean went for quite a ride, didn’t he?” Mac said gently, bouncing the toddler on her knee. He simply gurgled at her, unaware of his traumatic experience.
“Totally not my fault. Piz totally cannot control Little Logan.” Dick explained gently rubbing Dean’s head. Veronica smirked before turning back to her latest project. Dick’s daily visits used to bug her, until he started screwing up with the baby. Having a business with Mac was certainly interesting.
“He’s a lover, not a fighter.” Veronica explained.
“Well- Dean and I are going home.” Dick announced, kissing Mac quickly. “We need some more Dude And Dad bonding time. I was gonna register him for the NRA and feed him some baby steak too.” He teased. Placing his son into his baby backpack, he made sure he was securely strapped before giving a little wave and exiting the building.
“Piz wants to get married.” Veronica blurted, once Dick was out of earshot.
“Your vote of confidence astounds me.” Mac replied, gently patting her on the arm. “Just forgive Logan already. Veronica, if you marry Piz, Erica will never forgive you. She will resent you for the rest of your life. Or she’ll move in with Logan, and he’ll move far far away.”
“But-”
“Dick saw you at the Christmas Party.”
“Oh.”
Author:
missqteeone
Disc: I do not own Veronica Mars in any way, shape or form. Jessica is from my future-fic series
Rating: Pg-13ish
Pairings: L/V, M/D, Dick/Jessica (OFC), Duncan/Meg and a smidgen of V/Piz. eew.
Summary: Swimming, The Grand, Babysitting, The Crash, Piz
**
1
The hand holding is nice. God knows Madison never wanted to hold your hand. So when ‘Kenzie’ grabs your hand one day, it’s a reassuring feeling. A nice feeling. You see Logan’s head a few people ahead of you, and he’s doing that weird ‘flirt/pick on/up’ thing to Ronnie, and she’s laughing and it’s all very lame of you all. It makes you think of before when Lilly was still alive and whorin’ and when Duncan still lived in the U.S. Except now Ronnie’s the skank and you’re the Bad Boy.
“Dick! Dude, walk faster.” Logan shouts back at you, only for a distraction, because then he’s hauling Ronnie over his shoulder and heading for the ocean. You turn to Kenzie, and she just glares at you. She’s psychic to your evil plans. It sucks. So you hold her hand tighter and run off the boardwalk to see Logan toss Veronica into the Ocean.
Mac’s laughing, and you’re laughing, and Veronica’s being tossed. But at the last second she grabs Logan’s shoulder and the movement fricken summersaults them both into the ocean. Logan flipped over her head! Mac stops laughing and you realize that neither of them popped back up. Swearing, your shoes are coming off and you hand your shirt to Mac. Fifteen years of swimming in the ocean have trained you for this moment. You dive into the freezing cold water, and see Veronica under the water. You yank her back up the surface and she’s coughing up all over you. It’s pretty nasty. You make sure she’s okay, before going back down for Logan. You swim out a little further before going down, and you see him, caught on some rock thing near the bottom. You don’t even think before you’re ripping his shorts off and head back for shore.
You’re doing CPR, even though you really don’t know how to do it, and then Logan is coughing up all over you too.
“I just went to first base with Logan AND Veronica.” You announce weakly, suddenly remembering you need to breathe. Mac-Attack’s arms are going around you and she’s hugging you- hard. Veronica’s legs are wrapped around Logan’s waist and she’s peppering kisses over his face.
“You did good, Dick.” Mac whispers. She kisses you on the cheek and it makes you happy.
“Thanks Cinds.” You tell her. You kiss your shorty’s head and pat Logan hard on the back.
“Lamb likes busting you guys for sex in public. Remember that.” You tell him before taking putting your shirt back on. You turn to leave with Mac, and then Ronnie runs up to you and kisses your cheek.
“In case you didn’t know, I forgave you a long time ago, Richard Casablancas.”
“Thanks, Ron-Ron.”
**
2
You saw Ronnie looking around for the Beav and Ghost World. Then Logan mysteriously disappears. Trouble’s brewin’. Curiosity provoked, you head after Logan, and you get there and Beaver’s got a gun pointing to Veronica, and you’re hella fucking confused.
“Cassidy. Dude, put the gun down. She’s a bitch, but she’s not worth killing.” You say, putting your hands out, in that way that Negotiators use on TV. Beaver looks at you and then back at Veronica and then Logan flies out of nowhere and tackles him. You go to Beaver and Logan goes to Veronica.
“He blew up the bus. He raped me!” Veronica’s yelling and you feel your head spinning. You didn’t want the Beav to rape Ronnie. But maybe he thought you did.
“Beav, dude-” you start, but he’s looking at the railing. You slam him to the ground to stop him from jumping. He squirms, and you slap him once- gently.
“Beaver-” Veronica spat, “Was raped on his little league team. Two of the kids who HE KILLED were going to go to the cops so Woody wouldn’t be the Mayor. Beaver BLEW up a BUS to keep them quiet! He killed Curly, and he killed MY FATHER and I AM GOING TO KILL HIM.” Veronica shot out at him, and then Logan’s arm was around her.
“You’re not a killer, Veronica.” He assures her, holding her close. She’s crying, and you wish that someone would hold you and tell you everything was going to be all right.
You’re shocked as hell. You brother killed innocent people. He was raped. And then raped Veronica and killed her father. This was just too messed up.
“Logan call Lamb.” You say, your voice oddly clear. “Beav’s Suicidal and he needs to go to Jail.” You look down at your little brother, and then you’re crying. He can’t do this to you. You whole family sucks, but Beaver was supposed to be your brother. He was supposed to be the one you could rely on. Not a killer.
“Dude, it was supposed to be the two of us. Mom, Dad, and now you? What the fuck am I supposed to do?”
**
3
“Dick, if you so much as make Keith cry, I’ll kill you.” Veronica says in a rush, handing you her ten year old and his bag o’ stuff. Keith smiles up at you as you bounce him around, and he makes you smile. Kids like you. They can tell you’re cool. And now that Veronica’s Wifey hooked you up with his hot lawyer friend, you’re golden.
“Dick’s the BEST.” Keith informs his mother, and you laugh. “I’m a big boy! Big boys don’t cry.”
“Thanks, Dick. I know if Logan wasn’t- wherever Logan is, he would watch him, and it’s only for a few hours while I take the Leah to the doctor and shopping.”
“Eew! SHOPPING.” Keith frowned kissing his little sister’s forehead. Leah was starting to crawl out of car seats already. She latches onto her mother’s hot leg, and happily puts her hand out to you for a high five. You slap her little palm and she giggles.
“Dick!” She coos and Ronnie picks her up before kissing Keith on the top of his head. The second Veronica drives away Keith starts asking you questions about his Dad.
“Logan went to visit Trina in L.A. She’s marrying some B celebrity, hoping to bring up her C-celeb status,”
“Who’s Trina?”
“Trina’s your Dad’s Sister. So your Aunt. Only adoptive aunt, thankfully. Trust me you don’t want to meet her- she’s an odd one.” You confess. Jessica comes out of the bathroom and is a little shocked to see a kid there. You practically see her thinking about ways to punish you- kinky.
“Oh. Jess. This is Keith Mars II. Not mine, don’t worry. Ronnie had an emergency. She thinks she’s pregnant again and she freaked, so I said that I’d watch Key here, until she gets back.”
Jessica shrugs and holds her hand out to the kid. Keith shakes it and smiles, “You’re VERY pretty. Almost as pretty as my Mommy.”
“And you’re very good chick magnet,” She says with a little glare at you. How does she always know your devious plans? You shrug, and pull her close before nuzzling the side of her face.
“There’s only one chick for me.” You tell her honestly, before she presses herself against you and kisses you, hard. You grin against her mouth, and you do a little grind against her before you remember that Keith is still there.
“Have fun at work, sweetie.” You leer at her, trying to control your hormones. She grabs her briefcase and struts out the door. You will probably visit her at dinnertime and have a quickie in her boss’ office. You’re going to propose soon. You have to talk to Logan when he gets back, but you want Jessica to have your babies.
Keith is playing with your Playstation, using Logan’s controller, and you pray to whoever’s listening up there that you don’t end up like Logan and Veronica. You don’t want to be tragically in love with your ex, and not be able to see your kids, or see Veronica fat with some other dude’s kids. God that would suck.
Speaking of Suck- The door’s opening to your new house and Logan comes in panting.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Hey, Keith.” Logan is still panting and quickly locks the door behind him. “That was the wedding from Hell. Why didn’t you tell me Derrick was going to be there? He kissed my sister and I almost hit him!”
“Dude needs to get hit a few times in the head.” Keith added, his glance not leaving the screen.
**
4
You’re a trust fund baby. You know it, your brother knows it, and all your maids/staff know it. You could careless about the rest of the world. But somehow when you see a bus about to fall off a cliff, you need to do something. Weevil, that biker guy is getting chains out of his bike-pouch thing, and you quickly decide to hook the other one under the limousine. Duncan and Logan and the Beav are grabbing onto the chains and you signal to the driver to floor it. Veronica trots over to Weevil and he gets off his bike to pull. Seeing Veronica Mars riding Weevil’s hog will have many laughs in the future.
“Dick- Meg’s in there.” Duncan’s telling you, and you nod. Getting a good grip on the chain, you motion to Ronnie and the bike moves. It seems stupid that you and a few of the privileged kids are trying to pull a bus. That’s not moving.
Beaver’s yapping about rear wheel drive in buses and Duncan calls Meg to tell her to try and get the bus in reverse. You see her purple shirt moving to the front of the bus, and she’s yelling something and the kids on the bus all rush to the back to keep it level.
“Dudes! JUMP OUT THE BACK!” You yell. You guys are breaking your hands keeping it level, and the simple solution is to jump out of the back. Like in elementary school when he had to ride the bus that one time before his Dad made a few calls.
The kids are jumping out, followed by Meg and then Weevil’s bike gives out and then the bus is fucking going over the cliff. Logan’s hands are burning and you’re pretty sure he’s crying. Veronica’s running into his arms and- the bus just went over the cliff.
The bus. Over the cliff. Damn.
“Good job, Dickie.” The Beav nudges you.
**
5
“Daddy!” Erica squealed, launching herself into her father’s arms. Logan couldn’t hide his smirk towards Piz, so he didn’t even try. His baby loved him. That’s all that really mattered anymore. “Stosh took me to the park and dropped a popsicle on me! He’s a MEANIE.” Erica pouted, her blonde pigtails making her look even more innocent.
“There was an incident with a screaming Casablancas.” Piz explained, handing Logan her bag. Kissing Erica on the forehead, Logan did his best to hide his amusement at her tiny pink tongue sticking out in disgust. His Five year old was the best. And she knew it.
“Dick?” Logan asked, putting Erica back down on the ground. Taking Erica’s little hand in his, he handed her the green backpack and smiled awkwardly at Piz. What was one supposed to say to the guy who’s with the Mother of your Child? Thankfully he never saw Piz- his job with Rolling Stone kept him pretty busy away from Neptune. “Well, thanks Piz. Tell V I’ll drop her off Thursday.”
Piz nodded before heading back to his car.
“He smells like Ass.” Erica said nodding as he walked away.
“Be nice to Piz, Erica. He’s not a bad guy.” Logan said gently crouching down low. “Mommy needs to be Mommy for awhile. And you can’t blame Piz for being a good guy. Make fun of his lame taste in music.”
Giggling, Erica hopped towards the Rover and waited for her father to catch up. “I get to see my NEW ROOM! HURRY UP!”
*
“Dick let the stroller roll down the hill. Poor little Dean went for quite a ride, didn’t he?” Mac said gently, bouncing the toddler on her knee. He simply gurgled at her, unaware of his traumatic experience.
“Totally not my fault. Piz totally cannot control Little Logan.” Dick explained gently rubbing Dean’s head. Veronica smirked before turning back to her latest project. Dick’s daily visits used to bug her, until he started screwing up with the baby. Having a business with Mac was certainly interesting.
“He’s a lover, not a fighter.” Veronica explained.
“Well- Dean and I are going home.” Dick announced, kissing Mac quickly. “We need some more Dude And Dad bonding time. I was gonna register him for the NRA and feed him some baby steak too.” He teased. Placing his son into his baby backpack, he made sure he was securely strapped before giving a little wave and exiting the building.
“Piz wants to get married.” Veronica blurted, once Dick was out of earshot.
“Your vote of confidence astounds me.” Mac replied, gently patting her on the arm. “Just forgive Logan already. Veronica, if you marry Piz, Erica will never forgive you. She will resent you for the rest of your life. Or she’ll move in with Logan, and he’ll move far far away.”
“But-”
“Dick saw you at the Christmas Party.”
“Oh.”