[Log] Coming Clean
Characters: Kaidoh Kaoru & Kaidoh Hazue
Location: At Kaidoh's hut
Time: September 6
Rating: PG
Summary: After the storm, Hazue feels the need to tell Kaidoh he lied about his ankle.
Hazue hadn’t meant for it to come this far … for his little white lie to turn into something that could have harmed his brother. The brother he admires so much. He’d simply been trying to get out of having to run a marathon he knew he’d die trying with Kaidoh, so he made up an excuse; his sprained his ankle. It seemed fine and all, Kaidoh would never know.
Until the storm hit.
Yesterday Kaidoh had been frantically searching for his younger brother as it was thundering and pouring rain outside.
Hazue has never felt so guilty and loved before in his entire life.
He feels his heart clench tight with shame; Kaidoh was searching for him because he thought Hazue couldn’t walk with his sprained ankle. Whereas the truth was, Hazue was fine, and he was safe and dry at their hut, while Kaidoh was risking his life out there. Which is why Hazue needs to come clean, he needs to tell Kaidoh that he lied, otherwise this guilt will eat him up from the inside out.
He’s waiting for Kaidoh to return from his morning run, standing outside the hut in the slight drizzle of rain. It’s cloudy outside, but at least the storm has passed. When he spots Kaidoh running back, he feels his stomach twist into knots.
“G-g-good m-morning, Kaoru-nii-ii-chan,” Hazue greets him with a very nervous voice. He can’t help but stutter; he feels so bad, everything could have gone so wrong. Luckily Momoshiro had gone to look for Kaidoh and he came back unharmed. But he could have just as well returned with a broken leg. Or a bleeding head. Or a missing arm. Or … or …
Kaidoh jogs to a stop in front of the hut. On seeing his brother's facial expression, Kaidoh's own face twists into a look of concern. Did something happen to Echizen while he was out running? Or maybe Hazue is still shaken up from the storm. Kaidoh admittedly feels a little on edge himself. He didn't sleep much the night before, what with the thunder continuing long into the night and making him jolt with fear each time.
But now the thunder has stopped, and the sky still looks a bit dark and melancholy but at least it's not pouring down sheets of rain anymore. Kaidoh decided it was fine to run in-it takes a lot to deter him-and even with his lack of sleep, he feels pumped up from the familiar routine. Maybe Hazue is upset that he's still not able to come running with Kaidoh as usual. Kaidoh doesn't know. He's not always the best at reading people.
"What's wrong?" he asks, his mouth curling into a frown. Kaidoh wipes his forehead with his towel and studies his brother's face. He looks worried about something.
“I … uhh …I …” Hazue looks frightened all of the sudden; what will Kaidoh do if he knows he lies? What if the punishment is running around the island ten times? He’d die! He looks down at his feet, unable to look Kaidoh in the eye.
“I have to …” Go to the bathroom. No. Hazue. Stop it. “... t-tell you …something.”
"Oh…" says Kaidoh. He looks at his brother a bit warily. It's like Hazue's nerves are contagious and Kaidoh can't help but fidget with the corners of his towel. "What is it?"
Hazue fiddles around with his thumbs, getting more nervous by the second. “I … did something bad.”
Kaidoh's eyes narrow in confusion. "You did…?" He can't really imagine what his brother could have done that would be bad enough for him to be getting all stressed about it. He's Hazue after all.
“I … I …” Hazue sniffs; he can’t bring himself to say it. It’s so humiliating that he lied in the first place, lied to his brother. Why did he ever think this was a good thing to do? He’s so ashamed of himself. “I …”
And then the younger boy breaks down, he crouches down with his hands above his head, as if to protect himself from any incoming blows (not that Kaidoh would ever hit him). He starts sniffing, and tears are welling up in his eyes.
“I’m so sooorryyyy,” he whines out loud. He sniffs some more to prevent himself from looking so pathetic, but Hazue can’t help it. He did something bad indeed; lied to his brother and almost got him killed. “I’m sorry … sorry … I didn’t mean to!” he says in a frenetic voice.
Kaidoh's expression only grows more puzzled. He lowers his hand to rest on Hazue's shoulder, which is shaking. He doesn't really know what else to do. "Didn't mean to what?" he asks. "What happened?"
Hazue looks up at Kaidoh with swollen eyes and snot coming out of his nose. “I lied.” Then he whines some more, unable to control his own pathetic state. He wipes his snot away with the sleeve of his shirt.
"Oh." Kaidoh gives Hazue's shoulder a soft pat. "Um. What did you lie about?" Whatever it is, it can't be bad enough to justify all this crying... It's kind of weirding Kaidoh out. He really doesn't know what to do, but Hazue is his brother, and if he's upset about something then Kaidoh wants to do his best to … comfort him … however people usually do.
Hazue wipes away his streaming tears with the back of his hands. “I lied … my ankle … it was never sprained. I’m so sorry!” Hazue clings himself to Kaidoh’s leg, hoping he won’t abandon him because he’s been a bad little brother. He hiccups right into Kaidoh’s knee.
Kaidoh looks down at his brother, whose face is a wet mess. He … what? So his ankle is fine? But then … Kaidoh shakes his head, still kind of confused. "Why?"
“D-didn’t wananrunanymore,” Hazue mumbles against his brother’s leg.
Oh ... Wait, what? Hazue didn't want to run? He doesn't like it? But Kaidoh always thought ... Well, he thought his brother liked it just as much as he did. He looks down at Hazue's whimpering, crumpled shape clinging to his leg, and suddenly Kaidoh is feeling guilty too. That he pushed his brother to do something like this ... all because he didn't want to go running.
"You should have just told me..." Kaidoh says after a long moment. It's an odd statement, coming from Kaidoh who is himself no stranger to being unable to voice his feelings out loud. "C'mon, you don't need to cry about it ... I'm not ... I'm not angry."
He isn't. He's mostly still kind of confused, because how could running be such a bad thing? Sure Momoshiro thinks it's stupid and tries to avoid it, but Momoshiro's a lazy dumbass. Kaidoh always thought his brother, on the other hand, was fine with it. He never protested. But seeing the expression on Hazue's face is like a dawning realization for Kaidoh; it says it all. His brother doesn't like all the training. And Kaidoh's been making him do it for years. Has he been making his brother miserable for years? The idea horrifies him.
He squeezes Hazue's shoulder. "I'm, uh … I'm sorry, too," he says quietly. "I didn't realize."
Hazue stops hiccuping and taking in irregulars breaths long enough to look back up at Kaidoh, a bit hopeful. “Y-you... you’re not angry?” He was sure his brother was going to hate him forever if he knew. “But I made you … look for me … so sorry … didn’t mean to … I just, I just didn’t want to run a marathon in that Olympic stuff …” Hazue finally lets go of Kaidoh’s leg and sits there in front of him, a bit of a mess, and still sniffing a tiny little bit. He feels exhausted.
“You don’t …” Hazue puts a hand on top of Kaidoh’s which is clutching his shoulder. “... Hate me?”
Kaidoh sighs. "Of course not." He offers Hazue a small smile, because his brother looks like he could use the reassurance. "You're my brother, after all."
Hazue finally rushes to stand up straight, though he doesn’t exactly face his brother, what with his short height. “I am really sorry!” He just didn’t want to run and die … it’s okay if he runs a little to make his brother happy. As long as he doesn’t perish while doing it. “I can do a little bit of running with you …” says Hazue as he looks awkwardly at his hands again. “Just not a whole lot. Kaoru-nii-chan has stamina no one else has, no one can keep up with you.”
"You … you don't have to run if you don't want to," Kaidoh says, his voice low and even. He doesn't mean to, but he frowns a bit as he speaks. He doesn't want to force Hazue to do anything he doesn't like, but Kaidoh can't really understand why anyone wouldn't enjoy running. Maybe Hazue is right though-few people can handle his training schedule, maybe it's too much even for his own brother.
“Well, I want to do things with you …” Thing that don’t involve dying or pulling out his lungs from taken in too much oxygen. “I’m just … not you. I can’t run that much. I’m sorry, I know you are always expecting me to … but I’m … sorry …” He starts sniffing again, tears appearing at the corner of his eyes, which he quickly wipes away.
Kaidoh hisses and looks down at the ground. "I guess I shouldn't have been pushing you so hard," he says simply. The thought that he's been putting too much pressure on his brother all these years is making Kaidoh's stomach feel a bit funny, and not in a good way.
"It's not … Don't cry. It's not your fault." The crying is making Kaidoh feel too weird. Should he pat Hazue on the back or something? Maybe he can offer him his towel.
“But I made you go look for me yesterday.” Hazue takes a step forward and clings to Kaidoh’s shirt with his small hands. “What if, what if something happened to you? I’d never forgive myself!” Hazue wanted to go look for his brother and take him back home, where he’s safe, and he can enjoy his running again and all his other training.
He didn’t want to end up being a burden to his brother instead, it was just backwards. He didn’t come here for that. He wishes he could have escaped this island with Kaidoh, and return him home just like he wanted to in this first place.
Hazue digs his face into Kaidoh’s chest, to prevent anymore tears from falling. “I just want to go home.”
Kaidoh pats Hazue's back comfortingly. "We will," he says, trying to sound much more confident than he feels-because really, it's been months and months and no rescue has come-but he's Hazue's big brother so he has to sound like he believes it. "Don't worry."
“I miss mom and dad too. They’re probably so worried about us … and I don’t want anything to happen to us before we see them again. So I’m sorry … for making you go out in that storm to look for me.” Hazue sighs, feeling a bit of tension resolve in his shoulders. “I promise I won’t lie again!”
"Yeah, um …" Kaidoh starts. He almost feels like he should explain to Hazue that really him being out in the storm mostly just consisted of him running around for a few minutes and then hiding in a tree, so he didn't need to worry so much, but he doesn't want his brother to think less of him. "Just tell me next time. I won't get mad."
“I will! And I won’t! Lie, that is. Sorry. Forgive me?” Hazue looks at Kaidoh with his tearful red eyes.
Kaidoh pats Hazue on the back again. "Sure. Of course."
“Thank you.” Hazue hugs Kaidoh tightly.
Kaidoh just shrugs against him. "Don't worry about it," he says. "Really."
“Lub you,” he mumbles against Kaidoh’s chest.
"Yeah."
Hazue knows what his brother means with that articulate ‘yeah’, and he snuggles closer. His brother is the best.
Location: At Kaidoh's hut
Time: September 6
Rating: PG
Summary: After the storm, Hazue feels the need to tell Kaidoh he lied about his ankle.
Hazue hadn’t meant for it to come this far … for his little white lie to turn into something that could have harmed his brother. The brother he admires so much. He’d simply been trying to get out of having to run a marathon he knew he’d die trying with Kaidoh, so he made up an excuse; his sprained his ankle. It seemed fine and all, Kaidoh would never know.
Until the storm hit.
Yesterday Kaidoh had been frantically searching for his younger brother as it was thundering and pouring rain outside.
Hazue has never felt so guilty and loved before in his entire life.
He feels his heart clench tight with shame; Kaidoh was searching for him because he thought Hazue couldn’t walk with his sprained ankle. Whereas the truth was, Hazue was fine, and he was safe and dry at their hut, while Kaidoh was risking his life out there. Which is why Hazue needs to come clean, he needs to tell Kaidoh that he lied, otherwise this guilt will eat him up from the inside out.
He’s waiting for Kaidoh to return from his morning run, standing outside the hut in the slight drizzle of rain. It’s cloudy outside, but at least the storm has passed. When he spots Kaidoh running back, he feels his stomach twist into knots.
“G-g-good m-morning, Kaoru-nii-ii-chan,” Hazue greets him with a very nervous voice. He can’t help but stutter; he feels so bad, everything could have gone so wrong. Luckily Momoshiro had gone to look for Kaidoh and he came back unharmed. But he could have just as well returned with a broken leg. Or a bleeding head. Or a missing arm. Or … or …
Kaidoh jogs to a stop in front of the hut. On seeing his brother's facial expression, Kaidoh's own face twists into a look of concern. Did something happen to Echizen while he was out running? Or maybe Hazue is still shaken up from the storm. Kaidoh admittedly feels a little on edge himself. He didn't sleep much the night before, what with the thunder continuing long into the night and making him jolt with fear each time.
But now the thunder has stopped, and the sky still looks a bit dark and melancholy but at least it's not pouring down sheets of rain anymore. Kaidoh decided it was fine to run in-it takes a lot to deter him-and even with his lack of sleep, he feels pumped up from the familiar routine. Maybe Hazue is upset that he's still not able to come running with Kaidoh as usual. Kaidoh doesn't know. He's not always the best at reading people.
"What's wrong?" he asks, his mouth curling into a frown. Kaidoh wipes his forehead with his towel and studies his brother's face. He looks worried about something.
“I … uhh …I …” Hazue looks frightened all of the sudden; what will Kaidoh do if he knows he lies? What if the punishment is running around the island ten times? He’d die! He looks down at his feet, unable to look Kaidoh in the eye.
“I have to …” Go to the bathroom. No. Hazue. Stop it. “... t-tell you …something.”
"Oh…" says Kaidoh. He looks at his brother a bit warily. It's like Hazue's nerves are contagious and Kaidoh can't help but fidget with the corners of his towel. "What is it?"
Hazue fiddles around with his thumbs, getting more nervous by the second. “I … did something bad.”
Kaidoh's eyes narrow in confusion. "You did…?" He can't really imagine what his brother could have done that would be bad enough for him to be getting all stressed about it. He's Hazue after all.
“I … I …” Hazue sniffs; he can’t bring himself to say it. It’s so humiliating that he lied in the first place, lied to his brother. Why did he ever think this was a good thing to do? He’s so ashamed of himself. “I …”
And then the younger boy breaks down, he crouches down with his hands above his head, as if to protect himself from any incoming blows (not that Kaidoh would ever hit him). He starts sniffing, and tears are welling up in his eyes.
“I’m so sooorryyyy,” he whines out loud. He sniffs some more to prevent himself from looking so pathetic, but Hazue can’t help it. He did something bad indeed; lied to his brother and almost got him killed. “I’m sorry … sorry … I didn’t mean to!” he says in a frenetic voice.
Kaidoh's expression only grows more puzzled. He lowers his hand to rest on Hazue's shoulder, which is shaking. He doesn't really know what else to do. "Didn't mean to what?" he asks. "What happened?"
Hazue looks up at Kaidoh with swollen eyes and snot coming out of his nose. “I lied.” Then he whines some more, unable to control his own pathetic state. He wipes his snot away with the sleeve of his shirt.
"Oh." Kaidoh gives Hazue's shoulder a soft pat. "Um. What did you lie about?" Whatever it is, it can't be bad enough to justify all this crying... It's kind of weirding Kaidoh out. He really doesn't know what to do, but Hazue is his brother, and if he's upset about something then Kaidoh wants to do his best to … comfort him … however people usually do.
Hazue wipes away his streaming tears with the back of his hands. “I lied … my ankle … it was never sprained. I’m so sorry!” Hazue clings himself to Kaidoh’s leg, hoping he won’t abandon him because he’s been a bad little brother. He hiccups right into Kaidoh’s knee.
Kaidoh looks down at his brother, whose face is a wet mess. He … what? So his ankle is fine? But then … Kaidoh shakes his head, still kind of confused. "Why?"
“D-didn’t wananrunanymore,” Hazue mumbles against his brother’s leg.
Oh ... Wait, what? Hazue didn't want to run? He doesn't like it? But Kaidoh always thought ... Well, he thought his brother liked it just as much as he did. He looks down at Hazue's whimpering, crumpled shape clinging to his leg, and suddenly Kaidoh is feeling guilty too. That he pushed his brother to do something like this ... all because he didn't want to go running.
"You should have just told me..." Kaidoh says after a long moment. It's an odd statement, coming from Kaidoh who is himself no stranger to being unable to voice his feelings out loud. "C'mon, you don't need to cry about it ... I'm not ... I'm not angry."
He isn't. He's mostly still kind of confused, because how could running be such a bad thing? Sure Momoshiro thinks it's stupid and tries to avoid it, but Momoshiro's a lazy dumbass. Kaidoh always thought his brother, on the other hand, was fine with it. He never protested. But seeing the expression on Hazue's face is like a dawning realization for Kaidoh; it says it all. His brother doesn't like all the training. And Kaidoh's been making him do it for years. Has he been making his brother miserable for years? The idea horrifies him.
He squeezes Hazue's shoulder. "I'm, uh … I'm sorry, too," he says quietly. "I didn't realize."
Hazue stops hiccuping and taking in irregulars breaths long enough to look back up at Kaidoh, a bit hopeful. “Y-you... you’re not angry?” He was sure his brother was going to hate him forever if he knew. “But I made you … look for me … so sorry … didn’t mean to … I just, I just didn’t want to run a marathon in that Olympic stuff …” Hazue finally lets go of Kaidoh’s leg and sits there in front of him, a bit of a mess, and still sniffing a tiny little bit. He feels exhausted.
“You don’t …” Hazue puts a hand on top of Kaidoh’s which is clutching his shoulder. “... Hate me?”
Kaidoh sighs. "Of course not." He offers Hazue a small smile, because his brother looks like he could use the reassurance. "You're my brother, after all."
Hazue finally rushes to stand up straight, though he doesn’t exactly face his brother, what with his short height. “I am really sorry!” He just didn’t want to run and die … it’s okay if he runs a little to make his brother happy. As long as he doesn’t perish while doing it. “I can do a little bit of running with you …” says Hazue as he looks awkwardly at his hands again. “Just not a whole lot. Kaoru-nii-chan has stamina no one else has, no one can keep up with you.”
"You … you don't have to run if you don't want to," Kaidoh says, his voice low and even. He doesn't mean to, but he frowns a bit as he speaks. He doesn't want to force Hazue to do anything he doesn't like, but Kaidoh can't really understand why anyone wouldn't enjoy running. Maybe Hazue is right though-few people can handle his training schedule, maybe it's too much even for his own brother.
“Well, I want to do things with you …” Thing that don’t involve dying or pulling out his lungs from taken in too much oxygen. “I’m just … not you. I can’t run that much. I’m sorry, I know you are always expecting me to … but I’m … sorry …” He starts sniffing again, tears appearing at the corner of his eyes, which he quickly wipes away.
Kaidoh hisses and looks down at the ground. "I guess I shouldn't have been pushing you so hard," he says simply. The thought that he's been putting too much pressure on his brother all these years is making Kaidoh's stomach feel a bit funny, and not in a good way.
"It's not … Don't cry. It's not your fault." The crying is making Kaidoh feel too weird. Should he pat Hazue on the back or something? Maybe he can offer him his towel.
“But I made you go look for me yesterday.” Hazue takes a step forward and clings to Kaidoh’s shirt with his small hands. “What if, what if something happened to you? I’d never forgive myself!” Hazue wanted to go look for his brother and take him back home, where he’s safe, and he can enjoy his running again and all his other training.
He didn’t want to end up being a burden to his brother instead, it was just backwards. He didn’t come here for that. He wishes he could have escaped this island with Kaidoh, and return him home just like he wanted to in this first place.
Hazue digs his face into Kaidoh’s chest, to prevent anymore tears from falling. “I just want to go home.”
Kaidoh pats Hazue's back comfortingly. "We will," he says, trying to sound much more confident than he feels-because really, it's been months and months and no rescue has come-but he's Hazue's big brother so he has to sound like he believes it. "Don't worry."
“I miss mom and dad too. They’re probably so worried about us … and I don’t want anything to happen to us before we see them again. So I’m sorry … for making you go out in that storm to look for me.” Hazue sighs, feeling a bit of tension resolve in his shoulders. “I promise I won’t lie again!”
"Yeah, um …" Kaidoh starts. He almost feels like he should explain to Hazue that really him being out in the storm mostly just consisted of him running around for a few minutes and then hiding in a tree, so he didn't need to worry so much, but he doesn't want his brother to think less of him. "Just tell me next time. I won't get mad."
“I will! And I won’t! Lie, that is. Sorry. Forgive me?” Hazue looks at Kaidoh with his tearful red eyes.
Kaidoh pats Hazue on the back again. "Sure. Of course."
“Thank you.” Hazue hugs Kaidoh tightly.
Kaidoh just shrugs against him. "Don't worry about it," he says. "Really."
“Lub you,” he mumbles against Kaidoh’s chest.
"Yeah."
Hazue knows what his brother means with that articulate ‘yeah’, and he snuggles closer. His brother is the best.