(no subject)
I just had a huge, long, emotional, eloquent entry and it lost it. That kills me, sometimes I feel like I lose a part of myself
I read a quote today that i liked. It said, Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, than it's not the end. Is that true? I don't think so, but it's hopeful.
I miss my ex boyfriend. I am pathetic. Granted we are finally both home, and it's Christmas, but I can look past that. Did I make a mistake? I can't say yes because I know our relationship couldn't have continued on the road that it was on. But now I miss it. We broke in July and my heart is breaking as though it were yesterday. I wish he would be illogical and come to my door on Christmas and tell me he misses me, find my on New Year's Eve and kiss me. But he doesn't need to anymore. He was full of grace and counteracted my clumsiness. He still is. There is so much left to say but it's not my place anymore, it's not his responsibility. I am selfish.
I saw King Kong tonight. I wasn't thrilled that that was the group's choice. The idea of a giant gorilla in love with a woman was grotesque at best. Still, I ended up finding it oddly mesmerizing. Somehow, it struck a chord in me, it seemed familar. Maybe from another movie or just a remnant of my desperate love life?
I played volleyball tonight and the ex was on my 3-3 team. It was fun. Quieter than normal, softer, but fun. I had some good sets. I almost cried however, when I was receiving a killer serve and threw my platform out when I couldn't make it in time and instead jammed my wrist. The pain subsided but it's coming back, or at least finally really making itself known.
I am pathetic. I am a girl. But I repeat myself.
I should stop coming home for breaks.
I read a quote today that i liked. It said, Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, than it's not the end. Is that true? I don't think so, but it's hopeful.
I miss my ex boyfriend. I am pathetic. Granted we are finally both home, and it's Christmas, but I can look past that. Did I make a mistake? I can't say yes because I know our relationship couldn't have continued on the road that it was on. But now I miss it. We broke in July and my heart is breaking as though it were yesterday. I wish he would be illogical and come to my door on Christmas and tell me he misses me, find my on New Year's Eve and kiss me. But he doesn't need to anymore. He was full of grace and counteracted my clumsiness. He still is. There is so much left to say but it's not my place anymore, it's not his responsibility. I am selfish.
I saw King Kong tonight. I wasn't thrilled that that was the group's choice. The idea of a giant gorilla in love with a woman was grotesque at best. Still, I ended up finding it oddly mesmerizing. Somehow, it struck a chord in me, it seemed familar. Maybe from another movie or just a remnant of my desperate love life?
I played volleyball tonight and the ex was on my 3-3 team. It was fun. Quieter than normal, softer, but fun. I had some good sets. I almost cried however, when I was receiving a killer serve and threw my platform out when I couldn't make it in time and instead jammed my wrist. The pain subsided but it's coming back, or at least finally really making itself known.
I am pathetic. I am a girl. But I repeat myself.
I should stop coming home for breaks.