dirty masturbating guy gets community service and a misdemeanor
here's what happened with the trial of the dirty masturbating old man: cliff notes version from an AIM conversation with Matthew so I don't have to rewrite it all...
Firegodess3: ok so over fall break I get a call from sargent santiago saying he and assistant district attorney roberts needed to talk to me about the case cuz it was supposed to be going to trial
Firegodess3: so I talked to them about it and told them what happened and told them the best times for me to come down to testify
MatthewBryan511: holy shit...i didn't know the cops got involved
Firegodess3: so basically every week since then they've been telling me that I'll have to come down to testify but it kept getting pushed back
Firegodess3: and last monday I got a call from santiago telling me that ada roberts was in court and that I might have to come down tuesday or wednesday, so i say ok, ill wait for his call
Firegodess3: Im in the shower and bring my phone with me and ada roberts calls right while im washing my hair
Firegodess3: i jumped out with soap everywhere to talk to him
Firegodess3: and i'm at my desk, my scalp is tingling cuz of the shampoo and he asks how i was doing and I told him i was literally just showering and still have soap in my hair (he sounded pretty cute so I had to tease him a bit)
Firegodess3: so blah blah
Firegodess3: he asks, how fast can you be here
Firegodess3: and im like, uhh 4 hours?
Firegodess3: so basically i went out there, got there around 10pm...had a hell of a time trying to find some dinner
Firegodess3: couldnt sleep because the streets were so loud
Firegodess3: got about 2 hours of sleep
Firegodess3: and had to get up at 5 to shower and be ready to be picked up at 7
Firegodess3: oooh wait i forgot some stuff between getting to NYC and gettign to the hotel and not sleeping
Firegodess3: sargent santiago picked me up from the bus station
Firegodess3: and we were just talking and getting to know each other
Firegodess3: we get into this car thats all black
Firegodess3: i told him i was sad because i wanted it to be a squad car
Firegodess3: and he asks if i want him to turn the lights and sirens on
Firegodess3: i say oh no no, thats ok (a little embarassed)
Firegodess3: so we're on our way to my hotel and there tons of traffic
Firegodess3: and he turned the sirens on!
Firegodess3: and it was a lot of fun
Firegodess3: and asked if i wanted to drive
Firegodess3: but i turned him down because nyc driving is scary
Firegodess3: and then he was about to go down the wrong way of a one way street to get there faster but didnt because he didnt think i'd appreciate it
Firegodess3: but i told him it would have been fun
Firegodess3: and he that that was hilarious
Firegodess3: so we're looking for my hotel and we come up on the dimond district
Firegodess3: and he brings up ada roberts for the first time
Firegodess3: he says "ada roberts is very young very cute and very single"
Firegodess3: so i laugh and ask if roberts put him up to it
Firegodess3: and santiago says no no, this is all me, i just think he's a nice guy, you seem like a nice girl...
Firegodess3: and maybe after the trial tomorrow he'll take you down to the diamond district and get you something nice
Firegodess3: and then we got to my hotel and i couldnt sleep that night, got no sleep at all
Firegodess3: and had to go practice what i was going to say on the stand at 7am!
Firegodess3: turned out ada roberts was very cute and nice
Firegodess3: ...so skipping ahead a bit...
Firegodess3: i was waiting outside the courtroom with santiago and he asks what i thought about roberts, "cute huh"
Firegodess3: so i say "yes he is"...and i laughed and blushed
Firegodess3: santiago said, "well we'll hook you two up after the trial, it wouldnt be appropriate now!"
Firegodess3: ...now on to the trial...
Firegodess3: it was really really scary
Firegodess3: his wife kept giving me the evil eye and the guy was laughing as i was testifying
Firegodess3: ive never been so nervous in my entire life
Firegodess3: the defense attorney said "you told the police the man was circumcised correct"
Firegodess3: i said yes
Firegodess3: defense: so you know what a circumcised penis looks like, do you know what an uncircumcised penis looks like, do you know the difference between a circumcised and uncircumcised penis...and on and on
Firegodess3: ada roberst kept objecting to those questions, some i had to answer some i didnt
Firegodess3: how embarrassing!
MatthewBryan511: hahA...you should have said "do you want me to draw a picture?"
Firegodess3: the defense said: so without a doubt you are 100% certain the man was circumcised
Firegodess3: so i said "yes im sure he was circumcised"
Firegodess3: but afterward, i was thinking about it, and i think i should have said that i was sure i saw no foreskin
Firegodess3: cuz if he was circumcised and the foreskin was pulled back it could have looked circumcised right?
MatthewBryan511: megan goes to court to talk about penises
Firegodess3: yup, thats how i do it
Firegodess3: so anyway, my part was done
Firegodess3: and i hung out for a while until court adjourned
Firegodess3: and then a little while later I left to catch my bus
Firegodess3: ada roberts walked me to my car and i told him to ask santiago about his matchmaking plans
Firegodess3: and he was like, "what? matchmakng?"
Firegodess3: i said "yes, just ask santiago"
Firegodess3: (you know, i had to get a little flirt on)
MatthewBryan511: HAHAHA
Firegodess3: he called friday to tell me the guy was found guilty
Firegodess3: and he asked what i was saying when i got into the car
Firegodess3: me: oooh you were supposed to ask sargent santiago about it!
Firegodess3: him: oh really?
Firegodess3: me: yes, about his matchmaking
Firegodess3: him: matchmaking? wait............with us?
Firegodess3: me: hehe yes
Firegodess3: him: really?
Firegodess3: me: um, hehe, yes the first thing he said about you was that you were cute young and single
Firegodess3: him: really? how'd that make you feel
Firegodess3: me: i thought it was pretty funny
Firegodess3: him: oh, you thought it was funny
MatthewBryan511: do you have a date now
Firegodess3: ...so that my story...except that today i got an email with more info about the trial and him telling me to feel free to give him a call whenever im in nyc
Firegodess3: nope, no date
Firegodess3: but a possibe date if im in nyc
MatthewBryan511: you can work it one day in court...i spend a month and build up too much of a "friendship"...haha
MatthewBryan511: you're my hero
Firegodess3: ok so over fall break I get a call from sargent santiago saying he and assistant district attorney roberts needed to talk to me about the case cuz it was supposed to be going to trial
Firegodess3: so I talked to them about it and told them what happened and told them the best times for me to come down to testify
MatthewBryan511: holy shit...i didn't know the cops got involved
Firegodess3: so basically every week since then they've been telling me that I'll have to come down to testify but it kept getting pushed back
Firegodess3: and last monday I got a call from santiago telling me that ada roberts was in court and that I might have to come down tuesday or wednesday, so i say ok, ill wait for his call
Firegodess3: Im in the shower and bring my phone with me and ada roberts calls right while im washing my hair
Firegodess3: i jumped out with soap everywhere to talk to him
Firegodess3: and i'm at my desk, my scalp is tingling cuz of the shampoo and he asks how i was doing and I told him i was literally just showering and still have soap in my hair (he sounded pretty cute so I had to tease him a bit)
Firegodess3: so blah blah
Firegodess3: he asks, how fast can you be here
Firegodess3: and im like, uhh 4 hours?
Firegodess3: so basically i went out there, got there around 10pm...had a hell of a time trying to find some dinner
Firegodess3: couldnt sleep because the streets were so loud
Firegodess3: got about 2 hours of sleep
Firegodess3: and had to get up at 5 to shower and be ready to be picked up at 7
Firegodess3: oooh wait i forgot some stuff between getting to NYC and gettign to the hotel and not sleeping
Firegodess3: sargent santiago picked me up from the bus station
Firegodess3: and we were just talking and getting to know each other
Firegodess3: we get into this car thats all black
Firegodess3: i told him i was sad because i wanted it to be a squad car
Firegodess3: and he asks if i want him to turn the lights and sirens on
Firegodess3: i say oh no no, thats ok (a little embarassed)
Firegodess3: so we're on our way to my hotel and there tons of traffic
Firegodess3: and he turned the sirens on!
Firegodess3: and it was a lot of fun
Firegodess3: and asked if i wanted to drive
Firegodess3: but i turned him down because nyc driving is scary
Firegodess3: and then he was about to go down the wrong way of a one way street to get there faster but didnt because he didnt think i'd appreciate it
Firegodess3: but i told him it would have been fun
Firegodess3: and he that that was hilarious
Firegodess3: so we're looking for my hotel and we come up on the dimond district
Firegodess3: and he brings up ada roberts for the first time
Firegodess3: he says "ada roberts is very young very cute and very single"
Firegodess3: so i laugh and ask if roberts put him up to it
Firegodess3: and santiago says no no, this is all me, i just think he's a nice guy, you seem like a nice girl...
Firegodess3: and maybe after the trial tomorrow he'll take you down to the diamond district and get you something nice
Firegodess3: and then we got to my hotel and i couldnt sleep that night, got no sleep at all
Firegodess3: and had to go practice what i was going to say on the stand at 7am!
Firegodess3: turned out ada roberts was very cute and nice
Firegodess3: ...so skipping ahead a bit...
Firegodess3: i was waiting outside the courtroom with santiago and he asks what i thought about roberts, "cute huh"
Firegodess3: so i say "yes he is"...and i laughed and blushed
Firegodess3: santiago said, "well we'll hook you two up after the trial, it wouldnt be appropriate now!"
Firegodess3: ...now on to the trial...
Firegodess3: it was really really scary
Firegodess3: his wife kept giving me the evil eye and the guy was laughing as i was testifying
Firegodess3: ive never been so nervous in my entire life
Firegodess3: the defense attorney said "you told the police the man was circumcised correct"
Firegodess3: i said yes
Firegodess3: defense: so you know what a circumcised penis looks like, do you know what an uncircumcised penis looks like, do you know the difference between a circumcised and uncircumcised penis...and on and on
Firegodess3: ada roberst kept objecting to those questions, some i had to answer some i didnt
Firegodess3: how embarrassing!
MatthewBryan511: hahA...you should have said "do you want me to draw a picture?"
Firegodess3: the defense said: so without a doubt you are 100% certain the man was circumcised
Firegodess3: so i said "yes im sure he was circumcised"
Firegodess3: but afterward, i was thinking about it, and i think i should have said that i was sure i saw no foreskin
Firegodess3: cuz if he was circumcised and the foreskin was pulled back it could have looked circumcised right?
MatthewBryan511: megan goes to court to talk about penises
Firegodess3: yup, thats how i do it
Firegodess3: so anyway, my part was done
Firegodess3: and i hung out for a while until court adjourned
Firegodess3: and then a little while later I left to catch my bus
Firegodess3: ada roberts walked me to my car and i told him to ask santiago about his matchmaking plans
Firegodess3: and he was like, "what? matchmakng?"
Firegodess3: i said "yes, just ask santiago"
Firegodess3: (you know, i had to get a little flirt on)
MatthewBryan511: HAHAHA
Firegodess3: he called friday to tell me the guy was found guilty
Firegodess3: and he asked what i was saying when i got into the car
Firegodess3: me: oooh you were supposed to ask sargent santiago about it!
Firegodess3: him: oh really?
Firegodess3: me: yes, about his matchmaking
Firegodess3: him: matchmaking? wait............with us?
Firegodess3: me: hehe yes
Firegodess3: him: really?
Firegodess3: me: um, hehe, yes the first thing he said about you was that you were cute young and single
Firegodess3: him: really? how'd that make you feel
Firegodess3: me: i thought it was pretty funny
Firegodess3: him: oh, you thought it was funny
MatthewBryan511: do you have a date now
Firegodess3: ...so that my story...except that today i got an email with more info about the trial and him telling me to feel free to give him a call whenever im in nyc
Firegodess3: nope, no date
Firegodess3: but a possibe date if im in nyc
MatthewBryan511: you can work it one day in court...i spend a month and build up too much of a "friendship"...haha
MatthewBryan511: you're my hero