Day - 29 - That... was odd...
I just got the outsider look at a convo my GF gave me... (First one... ever!! Me sooooo happy!!) And... Well... Looks like things with Liza, Kenya, and I may not be as bad as I thought. I love Kenya, I really do, (My gf!) I love Liza too, But that has never really been anything more than friends... Even though I thought about trying to make it more than that on more than one occasion... It never went anywhere... Because well... I didn't feel that way... I didn't feel it was right... And... Something else... Fear of rejection... maybe... iuno. I didn't want to make it weird between Liza and I... And... Well... Look where that got me. It kept Liza and I friends (Sorta... Even though we had a time when we didn't talk.. AT ALL... Weird... that...) to the point where she Introduced me to one of her new friends... Kenya... Invited me to a pool game... And... Things just went from there... Not all at once... but... the whole story is later. Anyway... From the end of the convo I got... I got the impression that Liza and Kenya are still friends... Instead of enemies like it looked like... (That is also a stroy for another time...) SO... I also was told... in three places that I should talk to Liza again... and... I intend to... I hope things work out between us all.. I still want to make Florida my last stop in my major road trip at the end of the school year. Anyway... I feel soo much better than I used to... Omg... I used to feel like shit all the time... And hate everything... Now... It is much better. I at least don't hate everyone... But... I don't trust them either... Not that I have trust issues... but.. I have to get to know someone before I trust them... For any reason. Anyway... I prolly overreacted to the whole situation... Going on the defensive and offensive at the same time about things that prolly should have been simply talked over. Gawd... I feel like such an ass... Anyway... Enough for now... my gf is pulling me away...
--Bergy.
--Bergy.