(Untitled)

[bergil]

We set out to film in the Shire today. Apparently the focus is Gamgees. My question of whether or not they're actually still there or off screwing elves/relatives somewhere was ignored in favour of a pointed comment about paychecks

Comments

[erchirion]

Bilbo! Can you go out to the gate and see why there is a camera crew camped out there?

...Bilbo!?

...Alle!?

:sighs:

[bergil]

Hello, and welcome to today's episode of the Bergil show! Since the tragic earthquakes that clamed so many Gondorians and our studios, we've been making do here at the studios to see what we could do to bring you the tv you trust and love. Glory's not here today due to the fact they don't want to risk losing the sex appeal to cannabalistic hobbits. Which means just me.

Today? The Gamgees. Here we are outside the Gamgee Hall since when we went to Bag End a small effeminate hobbit screeched at us until someone started throwing frying pans. Groin is recovering in my trailer for the time being. He gave himself nobly to the cause.

The Gamgees are famous for incest, italics, and less so, pyromania and alcoholism.

Now we'll just stand here like idiots until something happens.

[erchirion]

:warily approaches the gate:

Pardon me. Have you seen two little hobbits go through here? A boy and girl?

[bergil]

HELLO. have you or have you not ever commited incest? *waves microphone hopefully*

Um. Kids. Are we allowed to film kids...?

[erchirion]

:fidgets:

I'm just looking for my kids. They aren't in the houseand nevermindits okay. :glances back at the Hall:

[bergil]

Are you a Gamgee? Oh please tell me I didn't just harass some innocent passerby.

[erchirion]

Um, sort of. I'm married to Meriadoc Gamgee. He's master of Gamgee Hall.

I'm Erchirion Swanhelm-Gamgee.

[bergil]

Damn. You don't count then. Cut the cameras.

Hi. If you have a sadistic voyeurism streak, you know who I am. *waves* Bergil Halfelven. Of the many bruises.

G'day, mister Swanhelm-Gamgee. We're um. We're here to film Gamgees.

Man, it's nice to be able to be here without fear. Any other time I'd have been worried about a elf with a panda bear doll coming after me for the girlfriend thing.

You don't have any weapons, do you?

[erchirion]

I think I've seen the show. You should wear kevlar.

I don't have any weapons. My husband is my only weapon. But he's traveling.

:chews lip:

Do you think you could help me find my kids?

[bergil]

I should. They've started taking bets on how soon until we need to film something from Mandos. We have advertising and everything prepared.

Sure, I guess. Let me go get Groin in case there's anything big and hungry running around.

[jadegemini]

:makes mental note to be elsewhere on that day: