(no subject)
When i thought about it. I thought I would feel bad. But while doing it. I could give a fuck less. Fuck that mother fucker. Or as I liek to say....Fcukt hat fucking cunt. I know we used to best friends. but, times changed. And he let me down. So, I don't feel so bad taking advantage of him to make me better off. Makes my life a little less stressed and a little easier. Good work Jonthon. I got even with you.
And on another note.
I need to figure out how I feel. Once again I became a slave. I made a point to go out of my way to make sure she is alright. But the entire time I did it. I thought about the ay i felt when she asked me to go because she owuld rather be with someone else.
Ever been told you were unloved and that they would rather be wth someone else over you.
Ever have revenge in the palm of your hand but you shy away from it because you love someone deep inside.
Ever have the chance to get away from it all but you stop yourself. I know what I have to do to make the pain go away. but for some strange reason i think to myself. hold on. And even weirder than that. I use Crystal as a driving force. Be not afraid to move on just like she was...is.
the things you look to for insperations. Inside me is the hope that she calls. I can feel it. So, I figure I will put a deadline on life itself. Well, on love itself.
If she calls....Well then.
If she does not. Then that part of my life is over, and I will cut myself everytime I let her back in. So, I figure...By....4a.m.why then.... nightmares.
I woke up in bliss and misery. I forgot complely about Crystal. There was no hurt. but there was also no regret. So I would have wasted a year/.
so hard to put feelings into words. So I figure fuck it. here goes.
I love Crystal. Despite all the hurt. I don't know if I can forget. I don't know if things will work out. But I know, I would try.
And now I wait.
And on another note.
I need to figure out how I feel. Once again I became a slave. I made a point to go out of my way to make sure she is alright. But the entire time I did it. I thought about the ay i felt when she asked me to go because she owuld rather be with someone else.
Ever been told you were unloved and that they would rather be wth someone else over you.
Ever have revenge in the palm of your hand but you shy away from it because you love someone deep inside.
Ever have the chance to get away from it all but you stop yourself. I know what I have to do to make the pain go away. but for some strange reason i think to myself. hold on. And even weirder than that. I use Crystal as a driving force. Be not afraid to move on just like she was...is.
the things you look to for insperations. Inside me is the hope that she calls. I can feel it. So, I figure I will put a deadline on life itself. Well, on love itself.
If she calls....Well then.
If she does not. Then that part of my life is over, and I will cut myself everytime I let her back in. So, I figure...By....4a.m.why then.... nightmares.
I woke up in bliss and misery. I forgot complely about Crystal. There was no hurt. but there was also no regret. So I would have wasted a year/.
so hard to put feelings into words. So I figure fuck it. here goes.
I love Crystal. Despite all the hurt. I don't know if I can forget. I don't know if things will work out. But I know, I would try.
And now I wait.