fresh coats

[bergenline_bug]

i want to write every thought that moves through my body
every one that enters my mind
the words that leave my mouth,
their taste still lingers where they left off
i want each documentation, each record,
placed somewhere
immortalized
i wanted to write something everyday
to fill each space with myself
i want the first time i carved into the peeling paint in the girls' bathroom
to the time i wrote in permanent marker on the noisy radiator
i want the night we wrote in chalk on the cold sidewalk
with the declarations my fingers crafted into sand on my eighteenth birthday
every memory, all those seconds i spent bored resting my head on your shoulder
moments, moments recreated, repeated, renewed
inspiration leaves me in times like these
i went back to the girls' bathroom, searching for my mark i left so long ago
when i thought, 'years from now this will be here still'
but the paint was fresh, not even the old pink of pepto bismol
it was a shade of yellowing white that coated the window sills
the paint naked, leaving no signs of history or records from the past