"Pick-up Lines for Feminists" by Lesley Kartali
To make up for the rather sad poem last week, I'll end National Poetry Month with a rather more light-hearted poem (and not my favourite as I'd planned, but oh well). I figure I'll move on to posting a poem a month, unless there are extreme protests, in which case I shall resist.
Pick-Up Lines for Feminists
making the move
at the bar
the club
the pro-choice rally
or the conference
on women's rights
in the 21st century
is no easy task
for feminists
young and old.
how do you
subtly ask for digits
while still making it
perfectly clear
that you are fine
being alone
and are certainly
not buying into the idea
that women are worthless
without a significant other?
just remember to smile.
or not.
(depending on if you
feel like it)
and try some
of these lines
on for size:
if i could rearrange
the alphabet
i would put u and i
together
and then we could
work on trying
to think outside
of this male dominated
language.
your paradigm or mine?
you're so sweet
you put hersheys
out of business.
so sweet
you can bring down
all those
bastard big businesses.
somebody better call
god/allah/buddah/
assorted goddesses/etc.
because he/she/gender neutral being
are missing an
angel/messiah/messenger.
*if atheist this line may not work
did it hurt?
when you fell
from the top
of the hierarchy
when society
identified you
as a woman?
pinch me.
with consent of course.
you are so
third wave
i must be dreaming.
where have you been
all my life?
hopefully fighting
against oppressive
patriarchal systems.
your feet must be tired.
because you have been
running through my
mind and struggling
against the repressive
gender roles
that we have been
socialized into
all day.
if the personal is political
then our getting together
has the potential
to subvert the patriarchy.
what's your sign?
radical? liberal?
socialist? cultural?
eco?
if these lines fail
don't worry.
it's probably just
because our
fascist media
has embedded
said pick-up line
receiver
with the idea
that you are a
crazy
scary
man-hating
castrating
bitch.
just keep telling yourself.
if they haven't
started questioning
what society
tells them yet.
then maybe
they are not
the one
for you.
Copyright 2005 Lesley Kartali
Pick-Up Lines for Feminists
making the move
at the bar
the club
the pro-choice rally
or the conference
on women's rights
in the 21st century
is no easy task
for feminists
young and old.
how do you
subtly ask for digits
while still making it
perfectly clear
that you are fine
being alone
and are certainly
not buying into the idea
that women are worthless
without a significant other?
just remember to smile.
or not.
(depending on if you
feel like it)
and try some
of these lines
on for size:
if i could rearrange
the alphabet
i would put u and i
together
and then we could
work on trying
to think outside
of this male dominated
language.
your paradigm or mine?
you're so sweet
you put hersheys
out of business.
so sweet
you can bring down
all those
bastard big businesses.
somebody better call
god/allah/buddah/
assorted goddesses/etc.
because he/she/gender neutral being
are missing an
angel/messiah/messenger.
*if atheist this line may not work
did it hurt?
when you fell
from the top
of the hierarchy
when society
identified you
as a woman?
pinch me.
with consent of course.
you are so
third wave
i must be dreaming.
where have you been
all my life?
hopefully fighting
against oppressive
patriarchal systems.
your feet must be tired.
because you have been
running through my
mind and struggling
against the repressive
gender roles
that we have been
socialized into
all day.
if the personal is political
then our getting together
has the potential
to subvert the patriarchy.
what's your sign?
radical? liberal?
socialist? cultural?
eco?
if these lines fail
don't worry.
it's probably just
because our
fascist media
has embedded
said pick-up line
receiver
with the idea
that you are a
crazy
scary
man-hating
castrating
bitch.
just keep telling yourself.
if they haven't
started questioning
what society
tells them yet.
then maybe
they are not
the one
for you.
Copyright 2005 Lesley Kartali