We are still holding your precious internet hero The Mysterious Stranger "space cowboy" hostage... we have kidnapped him to protest nuclear proliferation, global warming, and Brittany Spires.
First off, we had to once again change the name of our organization. It turns out the name United Federation of People With to much Free Time On There Hands (M-F.O.T.H.) was already trademarked by another terrorist group. So we have changed our moniker to Army of Resistance Minded People's International Terrorists (A.R.M.P.I.T)
So far we have received two of our demands -- a dozen jelly filled donuts and a half-dozen Phyllis Diller nudes. In return we have released The Mysterious Strangers socks... but in order to secure The Mysterious Strangers own safe return you must give in to the following new demands:
1) do laundry (remember to separate whites from colors) 2) return video rentals to Blockbuster 3) make hairstylist appointment
oppssss sorry... wrong list.
Our new demands for the safe return of The Mysterious Stranger space cowboy are as follows:
1) Five MECHANICAL DOLLS dvds (autograph by the band) 2) one Makita 18-volt cordless drill kit (2-speed Variable speed reversible) 3) a case of Hostess Twinkees (TM) with the filling removed 4) Naked pictures of Martha Stewart's mother's former roommate 5) a Darth Vader helmet filled with low-fat creamed cheese 6) a copy of The Incredible DVD (widescreen 2-disc collectors edition) 7) 500 american dollars... in small bills... and sixty-eight cents... in small change. 8) a dill pickle
If our demands are not met, The Mysterious Stranger will be tried by our group for the heinous crimes of 1) bad dancing 2) illegal possession of a furry hat, 3) poor penmanship.
To whom it may concern...
We are still holding your precious internet hero The Mysterious Stranger "space cowboy" hostage... we have kidnapped him to protest nuclear proliferation, global warming, and Brittany Spires.
First off, we had to once again change the name of our organization. It turns out the name United Federation of People With to much Free Time On There Hands (M-F.O.T.H.) was already trademarked by another terrorist group. So we have changed our moniker to Army of Resistance Minded People's International Terrorists (A.R.M.P.I.T)
So far we have received two of our demands -- a dozen jelly filled donuts and a half-dozen Phyllis Diller nudes. In return we have released The Mysterious Strangers socks... but in order to secure The Mysterious Strangers own safe return you must give in to the following new demands:
1) do laundry (remember to separate whites from colors)
2) return video rentals to Blockbuster
3) make hairstylist appointment
oppssss sorry... wrong list.
Our new demands for the safe return of The Mysterious Stranger space cowboy are as follows:
1) Five MECHANICAL DOLLS dvds (autograph by the band)
2) one Makita 18-volt cordless drill kit (2-speed Variable speed reversible)
3) a case of Hostess Twinkees (TM) with the filling removed
4) Naked pictures of Martha Stewart's mother's former roommate
5) a Darth Vader helmet filled with low-fat creamed cheese
6) a copy of The Incredible DVD (widescreen 2-disc collectors edition)
7) 500 american dollars... in small bills... and sixty-eight cents... in small change.
8) a dill pickle
If our demands are not met, The Mysterious Stranger will be tried by our group for the heinous crimes of 1) bad dancing 2) illegal possession of a furry hat, 3) poor penmanship.
You now have 24 hours to comply.
Have a nice day
A.R.M.P.I.T.
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