Fic: MMOM04 - When You're Not There, Jrock RPS, Gackt/Hyde, NC17/18
Title: MMOM04 - When You're Not There
Author: Beren
Fandom: Jrock RPS
Pairing: Gackt/Hyde
Rating: NC17/18
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, the real people in it are used without their permission and I definitely don't own them or have any copyright to any part of any of them. I do not believe any of this happened, is likely to happen or should happen it is simply a story created around known facts about those involved.
Warnings: none
Summary: Gackt hid was he was in plain sight by claiming to be a vampire, but actually being one is more complicated that simply drinking blood. Hyde does not know his lover's true nature and there are steps Gackt has to take to make sue it never overwhelms him.
Author's Notes: Thanks to Soph for the beta.
Word count: 2,843
Link: to MMOM 2009 fic links
Long Fics | HP Short fics | All Other Short Fics | Series Fics
Gackt stepped onto the window ledge lightly and calmly glanced down at the ground so far below. Once he had been afraid of heights, but he couldn't fall anymore and it had been so long ago he barely remembered it. Smiling to himself, he placed his hand of the catch on the window and concentrated until it popped open and he pulled the window towards him. He supposed he was lucky that Hyde enjoyed fresh air or he would have had to find another way into the luxurious apartment.
Hyde was out of town and Gackt knew this, which was why he had chosen then to visit. He and Hyde had been lovers for some years, ever since they had first met in fact, and Gackt loved the sometimes frenetic little man who had captured his heart without even trying. He was fond of Megumi as well and she of him, which was an added bonus. That Hyde and Megumi had a marriage of convenience to placate their respective parents and produce grandchildren for said parents was not a widely known fact, but their friends knew. Hyde was and always had been bisexual with a preference for men, where as Megumi was all but exclusively lesbian. They made a beautiful, loving couple and had a beautiful son, but his conception had been about as far as their sexual relationship had ever gone. Megumi was between lovers at the moment, as far as Gackt knew, but he and Hyde had been monogamous since the filming of Moon Child.
The problem was, Gackt was far more attached to Hyde than he had intended to become. He had had many lovers before, in nearly five hundred years a being needed companionship, but Hyde was different. Vampires did not become overly dependent on humans, it was not the done thing and made their deaths harder to bear, but somehow that was the situation in which Gackt found himself. That was why he was visiting Hyde's apartment in the middle of the night while his lover was not there.
Hyde had no idea what he really was, anymore than the rest of the world believed his stories of being a supernatural creature. That, however, did not stop his instincts from coming out. Vampires were, by nature, possessive and territorial when they became, for want of a better word, obsessed and Gackt was very much focused on Hyde. He could cope with the idea of Megumi and Hyde's son in his lover's life, but he had to find ways to curb his need to possess Hyde in other situations.
As soon as his feet touched the floor he closed the window with a thought and began to shed his clothes. He had been welcomed into this place many times, it felt comfortable, but it was not his domain and he needed to feel as if it was. If he could feel as if he belonged here he could make himself believe that Hyde was truly his and stop the quiet voices of paranoia at the back of his mind. They could not be together all the time, in fact they were apart for months at a time, but with his little rituals Gackt could stop himself doing something stupid.
He did not stop moving until he had divested himself of every stitch of clothing, leaving them strewn on the floor in a haphazard manner. Then he stood there and breathed in deeply, finding the scent of Hyde everywhere that it lingered in the apartment. He could smell others as well, Kaz and different musicians as well as Hyde's family and he slowly walked around the room, taking it all in. This was where Hyde stayed mostly when he was working so there were mostly the scents of work people and Gackt catalogued them all, making them part of his sensory memory.
Every inch of the apartment needed to be inspected, every piece of furniture and every carpet, but he stopped as he stepped into the bedroom. In this room all he could smell was Hyde and himself and sex. No matter how well cleaned and how well aired, in this room he could always smell the sex, as if it was ingrained in the very structure of the room. He knew it was his mind picking up faint hints and then replaying the smells from the past in his head, but it made no difference and he let it fill him.
His cock began to harden at the stimulus and he closed his eyes, letting the sensations, that the scents brought with them, flow over him. The thoughts of Hyde spread beneath him or thrusting into him filled his mind's eye as he let the sexual creature inside out. He allowed his full nature to rise to the surface as he stood there, letting the vampire out of the cage to take in everything there was. When he was with Hyde he could never let go completely, never be who he truly was, and only alone could he let himself be free.
The room lost its dimness and shone in his vision and all the smells became that much stronger. The scent of Hyde was so clear he almost could have believed the small man was actually there.
Walking to the wardrobe, he opened it and pulled a small bag down from the top shelf. It was his bag, one of the things that he habitually kept in the apartment, and he opened it slowly. The scent of lilacs hit him as soon as he did, with an undercurrent of sex. Inside was a blanket, so soft it was downy even on his sensitive skin and he pulled it out, unfolding it before draping it over the bed. He could leave no sign he had been here, but he had long since worked out a system to allow himself to do what he needed to do without Hyde being any the wiser.
By the time he was finished the blanket would be soiled, but he would put it back in its bag and the next time he was with Hyde he would take it away with him and wash it, replacing it with the other he had for the same purpose. He could have taken it with him once he was done, but he did not wish to broadcast his scent of sex all through the night when he left; he could never be sure what might notice.
Climbing on to the bed, he knelt up, feeling the blood filling his cock, throbbing through his veins and making it hard enough to ache. It had been too long since he had been able to do this and his whole body ached for it. With each passing year it became harder for him to let Hyde go after their trysts, harder to allow the man to return to the real world. He wanted to take Hyde in his arms, to make him as eternal as he was, but he did not dare. There was a whole world which humans did not allow themselves to see and Gackt could not bring himself to break Hyde's innocence.
He had already fed Hyde some of his blood, holding the other man in a trance when he did so and freezing the touches of time for a while. It would not last, not more than ten years, and he could not do it again, but he made it be enough for now.
With the thought of his beautiful lover in his mind he leant forward on to all fours, moving his hips in a slow dance. Sometimes they made love slowly and leisurely, sometimes hard and fast as if there was no time at all, but always with a passion that lived in both of their natures. Hyde shone for Gackt and always had done since the first time he had stood at the back of a smoky club and watched an effeminate man hold the whole place in the palm of his tiny hand. Hyde had gone through many changes since, so had Gackt, creating himself into a star to put himself in an equal place to the man he had wanted since that very first night.
He had marked him that night; caught him out the back of the club having a smoke, pushed him against the wall and bitten him. The marks were invisible to human eyes and he had wiped the whole incident from Hyde's mind, but no other vampire would ever touch Hyde because of them. The idea of sinking his fangs deep into Hyde's sweet flesh made him moan with want and he reached down one hand to take hold of his needy cock, resting over the bed on his other three limbs.
Hyde was his and he squeezed his eyes shut, concentrating on that thought. Pumping his hand up and down in slow even strokes, he let his mind fill with their times together and fantasies of what he wanted to do in the future. The beads of pre-come spreading down over his cock only set to remind him of the times he had pushed into a warm, wet body and claimed it as his own, the shining life of his Hyde opening and welcoming him in just as Hyde's body had so many times.
If blood was life, then love was what made that life sweet.
He drank from willing donors in the clubs in the darker parts of town to stay alive and he had never allowed himself to taste Hyde after that first night, but he remembered all too clearly. He so desperately wanted that again, but this had to do. Sex and claiming and making what was Hyde's his.
His breath was coming in shorter gasps now and his blood heated with the ideas of sex and feeding. He moved his hand faster, needing the end that he could feel in the tightening of his balls and the throbbing in his cock.
With his eyes tight closed he threw his head back and shouted his release.
"Hyde," he cried, spurting thick white liquid onto the blanket beneath him, filling the air with his scent.
It reverberated though his body and through his soul as he claimed what was his, even in Hyde's absence. His muscles twitched and his power danced over his skin at the same time, as he leant there breathing hard and letting his vampire nature reaffirm what it needed to know.
Only as his inner turmoil slowly settled did he realise something was not right. Even with the almost overpowering smell of sex now in the room he could still smell Hyde clearly. It was then that he looked up and his supernatural eyes alighted on the bathroom doorway; the one room he had not entered. Standing there, in the darkness was Hyde and Gackt froze.
"I thought I was going mad," Hyde said in a voice that seemed strangely calm for someone who was looking at a fully revealed vampire for the first time. "When I was away I would have these dreams of you. At first they were vague and unclear, but they've been getting sharper and sharper. It was always the same; you were in my home and you would always do the same thing. Only you were more than the you I knew, supernatural and with such need. I couldn't bear not knowing anymore."
Gackt did not know what to say to that, or what to do. That Hyde was there, watching him with those dark, warm eyes seemed to have interrupted the workings of his higher brain; the fact that the connection he had always felt with Hyde seemed to go both ways had destroyed what little thought he had left after that.
Mental connections between vampires were not uncommon, however, mental connections between vampires and humans were very rare. Gackt had thought himself privileged when he had occasionally felt things from Hyde, that Hyde had felt things from him stunned him. With so many years experience at life, very few situations left him not knowing what to do, but this one did.
"I remembered," Hyde continued to speak. "When I saw you there, I remembered when we first met, in that alley. I wanted you then when I saw what you were and I still feel that now. Don't hide from me any more."
Gackt closed his eyes and tried to pull himself under control.
"If I do not hide," he said eventually, opening his eyes again and looking at the man who meant more to him than any other being in the universe, "I do not know what I will do."
"I don't care," were the words that finally made him move.
His instincts told him to put his vampire nature away, to hide behind his human disguise again, but, as he slowly stood up, he resisted the urge. Hyde had asked him not to pretend and he was so very bad at denying Hyde anything he wanted. Feeling all of his power moving through his physical frame, he walked carefully towards the man standing in the doorway, until they were only centimetres apart.
"I have never felt the need for another being that I feel for you," he said quietly, leaning in and breathing in the scent of his lover. "I have loved, but never like this."
"I know," Hyde said simply.
"I want you," he said, feeling every nuance of his vampire nature and its demands, "I need you, I love you. I never want it to end."
There were many ways Gackt had imagined Hyde finding out what he really was, many reactions, but calm certainty was not something he had considered.
"Then don't let it," Hyde told him with the same forthright manner he had come to expect from his lover.
There were so many things he could have asked, so many assurances he could have required, but Gackt did not speak. For a moment he stood there, poised on the edge of forever, and then he struck with the speed and deadly accuracy of the predator he was. Hyde cried out as his fangs lanced into the smaller singer's flesh and he all but crushed Hyde to him, drinking the sweet, sweet blood he had only ever tasted one. He was drunk on flavour and sensation and the pure presence of Hyde and he swallowed mouthful after mouthful as Hyde slowly went still in his arms.
All the restraint he had shown for so long was gone and his vampiric soul rejoiced in the new freedom as he stole away Hyde's life. That life poured into him with every drop of blood and he could feel his lover's mortal shell becoming weaker and weaker. In the end the spark of life in Hyde faltered three times before it finally went out and only when it finally died did Gackt force his own immense power into what was left of Hyde's mortal shell.
Hyde's whole body jerked in his arms as his power froze time and then began to reverse it. He felt awareness come back to his lover and then Hyde began to scream, an unearthly sound that was half supernatural and half human as power literally ripped the little singer apart. Rebirth was not a gentle process, it was painful and hard and Gackt clung to his lover, mouth still clamped onto that beautiful neck as Hyde thrashed against him. He knew what had to come and only when Hyde's scream died and fangs clamped onto his own neck did he finally pull back just a little.
He could feel the life in his arms completely now, almost as clearly as he could feel his own and he revelled in the pain of being bitten. Hyde was his, completely and without reservation and he did not try to force Hyde away from his blood. The more Hyde drank, the more of his power he shared and if he had been a master vampire creating a child he would have broken the connection almost as soon as it had begun, but that was not what he wanted. He could feel himself becoming weaker as his power ripped through both of them, but he did not want a vampire child, he wanted an equal.
All but bodily picking up Hyde, he stumbled towards the bed, sweeping the blanket out of the way and falling onto it with Hyde still glued to him. It was wonderful, it was amazing; to have taken and to be taken so completely and even as he felt Hyde's grip becoming weaker he felt his own touch with reality slowly fading.
With the new dawn would come a life he had not dared imagine, a life where Hyde was truly his, a life where Hyde knew his most intimate secrets and shared them. There would be no more pretending between them, no more half truths and Gackt let consciousness go knowing that eternity awaited them.
Then End
Author: Beren
Fandom: Jrock RPS
Pairing: Gackt/Hyde
Rating: NC17/18
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, the real people in it are used without their permission and I definitely don't own them or have any copyright to any part of any of them. I do not believe any of this happened, is likely to happen or should happen it is simply a story created around known facts about those involved.
Warnings: none
Summary: Gackt hid was he was in plain sight by claiming to be a vampire, but actually being one is more complicated that simply drinking blood. Hyde does not know his lover's true nature and there are steps Gackt has to take to make sue it never overwhelms him.
Author's Notes: Thanks to Soph for the beta.
Word count: 2,843
Link: to MMOM 2009 fic links
Long Fics | HP Short fics | All Other Short Fics | Series Fics
Gackt stepped onto the window ledge lightly and calmly glanced down at the ground so far below. Once he had been afraid of heights, but he couldn't fall anymore and it had been so long ago he barely remembered it. Smiling to himself, he placed his hand of the catch on the window and concentrated until it popped open and he pulled the window towards him. He supposed he was lucky that Hyde enjoyed fresh air or he would have had to find another way into the luxurious apartment.
Hyde was out of town and Gackt knew this, which was why he had chosen then to visit. He and Hyde had been lovers for some years, ever since they had first met in fact, and Gackt loved the sometimes frenetic little man who had captured his heart without even trying. He was fond of Megumi as well and she of him, which was an added bonus. That Hyde and Megumi had a marriage of convenience to placate their respective parents and produce grandchildren for said parents was not a widely known fact, but their friends knew. Hyde was and always had been bisexual with a preference for men, where as Megumi was all but exclusively lesbian. They made a beautiful, loving couple and had a beautiful son, but his conception had been about as far as their sexual relationship had ever gone. Megumi was between lovers at the moment, as far as Gackt knew, but he and Hyde had been monogamous since the filming of Moon Child.
The problem was, Gackt was far more attached to Hyde than he had intended to become. He had had many lovers before, in nearly five hundred years a being needed companionship, but Hyde was different. Vampires did not become overly dependent on humans, it was not the done thing and made their deaths harder to bear, but somehow that was the situation in which Gackt found himself. That was why he was visiting Hyde's apartment in the middle of the night while his lover was not there.
Hyde had no idea what he really was, anymore than the rest of the world believed his stories of being a supernatural creature. That, however, did not stop his instincts from coming out. Vampires were, by nature, possessive and territorial when they became, for want of a better word, obsessed and Gackt was very much focused on Hyde. He could cope with the idea of Megumi and Hyde's son in his lover's life, but he had to find ways to curb his need to possess Hyde in other situations.
As soon as his feet touched the floor he closed the window with a thought and began to shed his clothes. He had been welcomed into this place many times, it felt comfortable, but it was not his domain and he needed to feel as if it was. If he could feel as if he belonged here he could make himself believe that Hyde was truly his and stop the quiet voices of paranoia at the back of his mind. They could not be together all the time, in fact they were apart for months at a time, but with his little rituals Gackt could stop himself doing something stupid.
He did not stop moving until he had divested himself of every stitch of clothing, leaving them strewn on the floor in a haphazard manner. Then he stood there and breathed in deeply, finding the scent of Hyde everywhere that it lingered in the apartment. He could smell others as well, Kaz and different musicians as well as Hyde's family and he slowly walked around the room, taking it all in. This was where Hyde stayed mostly when he was working so there were mostly the scents of work people and Gackt catalogued them all, making them part of his sensory memory.
Every inch of the apartment needed to be inspected, every piece of furniture and every carpet, but he stopped as he stepped into the bedroom. In this room all he could smell was Hyde and himself and sex. No matter how well cleaned and how well aired, in this room he could always smell the sex, as if it was ingrained in the very structure of the room. He knew it was his mind picking up faint hints and then replaying the smells from the past in his head, but it made no difference and he let it fill him.
His cock began to harden at the stimulus and he closed his eyes, letting the sensations, that the scents brought with them, flow over him. The thoughts of Hyde spread beneath him or thrusting into him filled his mind's eye as he let the sexual creature inside out. He allowed his full nature to rise to the surface as he stood there, letting the vampire out of the cage to take in everything there was. When he was with Hyde he could never let go completely, never be who he truly was, and only alone could he let himself be free.
The room lost its dimness and shone in his vision and all the smells became that much stronger. The scent of Hyde was so clear he almost could have believed the small man was actually there.
Walking to the wardrobe, he opened it and pulled a small bag down from the top shelf. It was his bag, one of the things that he habitually kept in the apartment, and he opened it slowly. The scent of lilacs hit him as soon as he did, with an undercurrent of sex. Inside was a blanket, so soft it was downy even on his sensitive skin and he pulled it out, unfolding it before draping it over the bed. He could leave no sign he had been here, but he had long since worked out a system to allow himself to do what he needed to do without Hyde being any the wiser.
By the time he was finished the blanket would be soiled, but he would put it back in its bag and the next time he was with Hyde he would take it away with him and wash it, replacing it with the other he had for the same purpose. He could have taken it with him once he was done, but he did not wish to broadcast his scent of sex all through the night when he left; he could never be sure what might notice.
Climbing on to the bed, he knelt up, feeling the blood filling his cock, throbbing through his veins and making it hard enough to ache. It had been too long since he had been able to do this and his whole body ached for it. With each passing year it became harder for him to let Hyde go after their trysts, harder to allow the man to return to the real world. He wanted to take Hyde in his arms, to make him as eternal as he was, but he did not dare. There was a whole world which humans did not allow themselves to see and Gackt could not bring himself to break Hyde's innocence.
He had already fed Hyde some of his blood, holding the other man in a trance when he did so and freezing the touches of time for a while. It would not last, not more than ten years, and he could not do it again, but he made it be enough for now.
With the thought of his beautiful lover in his mind he leant forward on to all fours, moving his hips in a slow dance. Sometimes they made love slowly and leisurely, sometimes hard and fast as if there was no time at all, but always with a passion that lived in both of their natures. Hyde shone for Gackt and always had done since the first time he had stood at the back of a smoky club and watched an effeminate man hold the whole place in the palm of his tiny hand. Hyde had gone through many changes since, so had Gackt, creating himself into a star to put himself in an equal place to the man he had wanted since that very first night.
He had marked him that night; caught him out the back of the club having a smoke, pushed him against the wall and bitten him. The marks were invisible to human eyes and he had wiped the whole incident from Hyde's mind, but no other vampire would ever touch Hyde because of them. The idea of sinking his fangs deep into Hyde's sweet flesh made him moan with want and he reached down one hand to take hold of his needy cock, resting over the bed on his other three limbs.
Hyde was his and he squeezed his eyes shut, concentrating on that thought. Pumping his hand up and down in slow even strokes, he let his mind fill with their times together and fantasies of what he wanted to do in the future. The beads of pre-come spreading down over his cock only set to remind him of the times he had pushed into a warm, wet body and claimed it as his own, the shining life of his Hyde opening and welcoming him in just as Hyde's body had so many times.
If blood was life, then love was what made that life sweet.
He drank from willing donors in the clubs in the darker parts of town to stay alive and he had never allowed himself to taste Hyde after that first night, but he remembered all too clearly. He so desperately wanted that again, but this had to do. Sex and claiming and making what was Hyde's his.
His breath was coming in shorter gasps now and his blood heated with the ideas of sex and feeding. He moved his hand faster, needing the end that he could feel in the tightening of his balls and the throbbing in his cock.
With his eyes tight closed he threw his head back and shouted his release.
"Hyde," he cried, spurting thick white liquid onto the blanket beneath him, filling the air with his scent.
It reverberated though his body and through his soul as he claimed what was his, even in Hyde's absence. His muscles twitched and his power danced over his skin at the same time, as he leant there breathing hard and letting his vampire nature reaffirm what it needed to know.
Only as his inner turmoil slowly settled did he realise something was not right. Even with the almost overpowering smell of sex now in the room he could still smell Hyde clearly. It was then that he looked up and his supernatural eyes alighted on the bathroom doorway; the one room he had not entered. Standing there, in the darkness was Hyde and Gackt froze.
"I thought I was going mad," Hyde said in a voice that seemed strangely calm for someone who was looking at a fully revealed vampire for the first time. "When I was away I would have these dreams of you. At first they were vague and unclear, but they've been getting sharper and sharper. It was always the same; you were in my home and you would always do the same thing. Only you were more than the you I knew, supernatural and with such need. I couldn't bear not knowing anymore."
Gackt did not know what to say to that, or what to do. That Hyde was there, watching him with those dark, warm eyes seemed to have interrupted the workings of his higher brain; the fact that the connection he had always felt with Hyde seemed to go both ways had destroyed what little thought he had left after that.
Mental connections between vampires were not uncommon, however, mental connections between vampires and humans were very rare. Gackt had thought himself privileged when he had occasionally felt things from Hyde, that Hyde had felt things from him stunned him. With so many years experience at life, very few situations left him not knowing what to do, but this one did.
"I remembered," Hyde continued to speak. "When I saw you there, I remembered when we first met, in that alley. I wanted you then when I saw what you were and I still feel that now. Don't hide from me any more."
Gackt closed his eyes and tried to pull himself under control.
"If I do not hide," he said eventually, opening his eyes again and looking at the man who meant more to him than any other being in the universe, "I do not know what I will do."
"I don't care," were the words that finally made him move.
His instincts told him to put his vampire nature away, to hide behind his human disguise again, but, as he slowly stood up, he resisted the urge. Hyde had asked him not to pretend and he was so very bad at denying Hyde anything he wanted. Feeling all of his power moving through his physical frame, he walked carefully towards the man standing in the doorway, until they were only centimetres apart.
"I have never felt the need for another being that I feel for you," he said quietly, leaning in and breathing in the scent of his lover. "I have loved, but never like this."
"I know," Hyde said simply.
"I want you," he said, feeling every nuance of his vampire nature and its demands, "I need you, I love you. I never want it to end."
There were many ways Gackt had imagined Hyde finding out what he really was, many reactions, but calm certainty was not something he had considered.
"Then don't let it," Hyde told him with the same forthright manner he had come to expect from his lover.
There were so many things he could have asked, so many assurances he could have required, but Gackt did not speak. For a moment he stood there, poised on the edge of forever, and then he struck with the speed and deadly accuracy of the predator he was. Hyde cried out as his fangs lanced into the smaller singer's flesh and he all but crushed Hyde to him, drinking the sweet, sweet blood he had only ever tasted one. He was drunk on flavour and sensation and the pure presence of Hyde and he swallowed mouthful after mouthful as Hyde slowly went still in his arms.
All the restraint he had shown for so long was gone and his vampiric soul rejoiced in the new freedom as he stole away Hyde's life. That life poured into him with every drop of blood and he could feel his lover's mortal shell becoming weaker and weaker. In the end the spark of life in Hyde faltered three times before it finally went out and only when it finally died did Gackt force his own immense power into what was left of Hyde's mortal shell.
Hyde's whole body jerked in his arms as his power froze time and then began to reverse it. He felt awareness come back to his lover and then Hyde began to scream, an unearthly sound that was half supernatural and half human as power literally ripped the little singer apart. Rebirth was not a gentle process, it was painful and hard and Gackt clung to his lover, mouth still clamped onto that beautiful neck as Hyde thrashed against him. He knew what had to come and only when Hyde's scream died and fangs clamped onto his own neck did he finally pull back just a little.
He could feel the life in his arms completely now, almost as clearly as he could feel his own and he revelled in the pain of being bitten. Hyde was his, completely and without reservation and he did not try to force Hyde away from his blood. The more Hyde drank, the more of his power he shared and if he had been a master vampire creating a child he would have broken the connection almost as soon as it had begun, but that was not what he wanted. He could feel himself becoming weaker as his power ripped through both of them, but he did not want a vampire child, he wanted an equal.
All but bodily picking up Hyde, he stumbled towards the bed, sweeping the blanket out of the way and falling onto it with Hyde still glued to him. It was wonderful, it was amazing; to have taken and to be taken so completely and even as he felt Hyde's grip becoming weaker he felt his own touch with reality slowly fading.
With the new dawn would come a life he had not dared imagine, a life where Hyde was truly his, a life where Hyde knew his most intimate secrets and shared them. There would be no more pretending between them, no more half truths and Gackt let consciousness go knowing that eternity awaited them.
Then End