(no subject)
i fu!*in hate being sick. i lose weight because i only eat once or twice a day, really small things like soup or a slurpee.. then i gain it back. but i'm determined to not gain the weight back after i get better. down to 114 now, lowest i've been for a long time, and i mean to keep it off. maybe i'll try to stick to soup for another week or so, see where it goes. even if i eat 2 cans of vegetable a day, that's not even 300 cals, and i can barely eat half a can in one sitting... just heat up leftover soup throughout the day, i can do it...
haven't seen my 'boyfriend' for over a week(around there) but it feels like forever. he asked me point blank if i wanted to move in with him in the future, but i've never lived with anyone but a friend and my parents, so i'm nervous and pretty unsure. gotta see how school turns out, i know i can make 80's if i just try a little harder. if i get into the university in the nextcity over, i could move in with him. but if i decide to go to the U of R i'd have to move back to saskatchewan, and that's too far from him... this is the most confusing and frustrating time of my life so far, it'll only get worse. i thought things would be better when i graduated, but they might get worse. i wish i have my shit together, and knew what i was gunna do right NOW, instead of guessing.
anyways, gunna go to school 3 hours a day every day next week, keep my mind off of food, the only thing i can really controll in my life right now. hope my baby likes how i look nexttime i see him, that'd make me happy :)
haven't seen my 'boyfriend' for over a week(around there) but it feels like forever. he asked me point blank if i wanted to move in with him in the future, but i've never lived with anyone but a friend and my parents, so i'm nervous and pretty unsure. gotta see how school turns out, i know i can make 80's if i just try a little harder. if i get into the university in the nextcity over, i could move in with him. but if i decide to go to the U of R i'd have to move back to saskatchewan, and that's too far from him... this is the most confusing and frustrating time of my life so far, it'll only get worse. i thought things would be better when i graduated, but they might get worse. i wish i have my shit together, and knew what i was gunna do right NOW, instead of guessing.
anyways, gunna go to school 3 hours a day every day next week, keep my mind off of food, the only thing i can really controll in my life right now. hope my baby likes how i look nexttime i see him, that'd make me happy :)