(no subject)
having trouble in school lately... can't concentrate. drinking too much coffee lately maybe that has something to do with it but i dunno.. had my mid on alot of other shit too tho, i like this guy but i'm not sure if it's going to work out. anytime i've gotten into a more serious relationsihp something fucks it up, usually me. my last boyfriend and i split because we never hung out with his friends, which was important to him i guess; i'm pretty self conscious and get really nervous around certain people because i think they're judging me :( so i start to avoid them. the more problems i have the deepr i go into myself, i kind of cut myself off from almost everybody. when i'm feeling the most vulnerable i become more anti social. i still have my basic friends, but i can't make new ones because it feels like the more people i know, the more i'm known(if that makes sense). i don't really want people to know me because i'm flawed and if i were them i wouldn't want to know me either. it's not that i'm a bad person, it's the opposite, i'm pretty nice but too sensitive to criticism and such, and everybody judges everyone else. the worlds full of assholes, but i'm glad i have a community that understands that some problems can be fixed. :)