Hodge Podge
All around good day. Yea, the lack of sleep was a bit much (and by lack i mean NO sleep) but once i made it past the tumbling class I was good to go. No nap or anything!!! Crazy. I'm mostly prepared for Texas History test tomorrow, and somewhat prepared for econ. Weird how it happens like that....because the history test will be MUCH harder, and i'll still probably get a better grade on it. I guess when you know its gonna be super hard you study more. Because i feel like i've studied a lot for economics test, but I don't know for sure that i know it. But, there comes a point in time when you've looked at the stuff so stinking long that if you look at it any more you're just gonna throw the book out the window. That point has come. Anyways, back to my day....did the usual camp lunch for 10 minutes thing, and the usual walk into tumbling 5 or 10 minutes late thing, and then went to history. Went to the flag room and studied econ between history and math. I was fairly lost in math today, because i skipped it BOTH times last week (OOPS!), and math is just one of those things that builds off the old stuff. Meh, it matters not.
So i come home from class and study and study and study. Then I went to Bible Study, which was fun times with the girls, don't get me wrong, but perhaps I could be sleeping right now had I not gone, because we didn't actually study the Bible tonight (novel idea for a Bible study, eh?) because nobody knew who was doing what so we all just hung out at Sarah's house. Prayer meeting i felt the same way; my time would have been better spent studying, and that sounds super sac-religious, but i dont mean it like that at all. I just didn't benefit much from it tonight, and i would have benefited from the studying between 7 and 10:30 that i missed due to Bible study and prayer meeting. Does that make me a horrible person? I hope not! :/
And then....wait....i'll let you guess what i did after that. YAY!!! You guessed right....definitely went to Sweet Eugene's. And yes, i AM a horrible person for the previous comments, because here I am talking about my time could have been better spent studying rather than with the Lord, and yet I go to sweet eugene's and get coffee and hang out. Yea, i took my books with "intentions" of studying, but lets be honest, who REALLY studies at sweet eugene's....especially when friends are there AND you're sitting with them. Boy am i logical...argh. Frustrated with myself. I just cant say no to social activities these days. I feel like i'm in high school all over again; but with much more studying to do. In high school it was all okay, because i sure as heck didnt study (EVER) and normally didnt do my homework either, so there was plenty of time for the social activities 24/7. But not so much anymore, though i make it to where there is time for the social activities, and then i just sacrifice sleep for it. Could be good, but there should be a limit. I'm gonna work on that whole word, i think its spelled something like N-O....i dont know that i've ever said it when i've been invited somewhere. Lame? Definitely.
So at Bible Study tonight we began looking at pictures of alpha gad 2K3 from last year and their retreat and just hangout times etc. and i was like "Wow, y'all huang out a whole lot didn't you" and Amy and Sarah were like "YA!"....and proceeded to tell us what all they did - camp breakfast once a week, camp lunch 2 or 3 times a week, game night once a week, late night Taco Cabana once a week, hangout times on the weekends, and the list goes on. And thats the reason why they were all so close and such good friends. And let me say that as a freshman in that camp, that was so obvious. They had SUCH a bond and were so completely unified as one. I don't feel like my camp is like that at all. Like, we have another MONTH to get to know each other, and become close friends, and then we're gonna be away from each other for summer, and then we come back, and then it's impact. Like, i just feel like we should be better friends with one another, and yea, there are some that are close, but in some ways i even feel like we as a camp are very cliquish (spelling?). And yea, that bothers me. And no, i can't compare Simeon to Gad, especially since with Gad i was on the outside looking in, and now i'm on the inside looking out....but i just know that a whole lot of why Alpha Gad 2K3 was so special to them AND to us as freshman was that bond that they had that then transferred over to us. They WANTED to hang out with one another. They WANTED to be close friends. And this may sound bad, but i feel like the people in my camp hang out because we're a camp, and ONLY because we're a camp, not for friendships etc. And i say that corporately as a whole, not individually...like theres certain people that hang out as friends, but for camp hangouts and stuff, i fell like WE (not they, i'm definitely included) look at it as a chore, and as something we HAVE to do, not something we GET to do. And whats even weirder to me is that Sean is ALL about community, and its his camp theoretically....i dunno, i shouldn't want what Gad had. I should take what we have now and build off of that, but i just think that for the freshman's sake, we should try harder to unify ourselves and become better friends. Like, i sent out an email saying that i wanted to eat with all of them individually or small groupish just to get to know them better, because its hard to REALLY get to know someone in a group of 17 people, and only 2 people showed interest. Tear. Getting off of the soapbox now. Sorry for the ranting and raving....i know you probably dont care. BUT, if ya do....leave me a comment down there and let me know whatcha think, and whether you think theres anything that can be done to fix it.
This is a super long entry, but what else is there to do at 4:30 when you're not sleeping and are trying to take as long of a study break as possible?? Exactly...not a lot.
I've been feeling very stagnant lately. Most likely because this week has been one from hell and i've skipped many, if not all, of my quiet times for the sake of studying. You shouldn't do that. Its one of those things where i know i need to do it, and i keep putting it off and off until all i want to do is sleep, and i say i'll do it in the morning etc. etc. and the pattern continues....there's definitely a difference in how your week will go when you have it versus when you dont. I really wish deep in my heart that i had a burning desire for The Word like Sarah does. Not that I don't enjoy it and love it, because i do, but its sometimes hard for me to consistently do it, partly because i dont much like to read much of anything ever, but dude, its His love letter to ME....if a boy wrote me a love letter do you think i'd let it sit a few days before i read it?? Heck no. Thank you Jesus for speaking to me even when i'm writing in my journal....incredible. Anyways, part of it is probably because i get frustrated when i don't understand things, and theres lots of the Old Testament that i just dont understand - most likely because i dont dig into it enough and learn the histories of it etc....but for reals i need to be consistent with this - how on earth am i supposed to lead and be an example to my freshman when I don't even open His word and dig deep into it every day? SICK! Life is hectic -- who the heck am I to tell God that I'm too busy for him. LAME LAME LAME!!! Ugh...anyone wanna hold me accountable because that would be super!
Okay, for real thats all. I'm a fan of you if you leave me a comment, and i know you all want me to be in your fan club. So leave a comment....NOW!
So i come home from class and study and study and study. Then I went to Bible Study, which was fun times with the girls, don't get me wrong, but perhaps I could be sleeping right now had I not gone, because we didn't actually study the Bible tonight (novel idea for a Bible study, eh?) because nobody knew who was doing what so we all just hung out at Sarah's house. Prayer meeting i felt the same way; my time would have been better spent studying, and that sounds super sac-religious, but i dont mean it like that at all. I just didn't benefit much from it tonight, and i would have benefited from the studying between 7 and 10:30 that i missed due to Bible study and prayer meeting. Does that make me a horrible person? I hope not! :/
And then....wait....i'll let you guess what i did after that. YAY!!! You guessed right....definitely went to Sweet Eugene's. And yes, i AM a horrible person for the previous comments, because here I am talking about my time could have been better spent studying rather than with the Lord, and yet I go to sweet eugene's and get coffee and hang out. Yea, i took my books with "intentions" of studying, but lets be honest, who REALLY studies at sweet eugene's....especially when friends are there AND you're sitting with them. Boy am i logical...argh. Frustrated with myself. I just cant say no to social activities these days. I feel like i'm in high school all over again; but with much more studying to do. In high school it was all okay, because i sure as heck didnt study (EVER) and normally didnt do my homework either, so there was plenty of time for the social activities 24/7. But not so much anymore, though i make it to where there is time for the social activities, and then i just sacrifice sleep for it. Could be good, but there should be a limit. I'm gonna work on that whole word, i think its spelled something like N-O....i dont know that i've ever said it when i've been invited somewhere. Lame? Definitely.
So at Bible Study tonight we began looking at pictures of alpha gad 2K3 from last year and their retreat and just hangout times etc. and i was like "Wow, y'all huang out a whole lot didn't you" and Amy and Sarah were like "YA!"....and proceeded to tell us what all they did - camp breakfast once a week, camp lunch 2 or 3 times a week, game night once a week, late night Taco Cabana once a week, hangout times on the weekends, and the list goes on. And thats the reason why they were all so close and such good friends. And let me say that as a freshman in that camp, that was so obvious. They had SUCH a bond and were so completely unified as one. I don't feel like my camp is like that at all. Like, we have another MONTH to get to know each other, and become close friends, and then we're gonna be away from each other for summer, and then we come back, and then it's impact. Like, i just feel like we should be better friends with one another, and yea, there are some that are close, but in some ways i even feel like we as a camp are very cliquish (spelling?). And yea, that bothers me. And no, i can't compare Simeon to Gad, especially since with Gad i was on the outside looking in, and now i'm on the inside looking out....but i just know that a whole lot of why Alpha Gad 2K3 was so special to them AND to us as freshman was that bond that they had that then transferred over to us. They WANTED to hang out with one another. They WANTED to be close friends. And this may sound bad, but i feel like the people in my camp hang out because we're a camp, and ONLY because we're a camp, not for friendships etc. And i say that corporately as a whole, not individually...like theres certain people that hang out as friends, but for camp hangouts and stuff, i fell like WE (not they, i'm definitely included) look at it as a chore, and as something we HAVE to do, not something we GET to do. And whats even weirder to me is that Sean is ALL about community, and its his camp theoretically....i dunno, i shouldn't want what Gad had. I should take what we have now and build off of that, but i just think that for the freshman's sake, we should try harder to unify ourselves and become better friends. Like, i sent out an email saying that i wanted to eat with all of them individually or small groupish just to get to know them better, because its hard to REALLY get to know someone in a group of 17 people, and only 2 people showed interest. Tear. Getting off of the soapbox now. Sorry for the ranting and raving....i know you probably dont care. BUT, if ya do....leave me a comment down there and let me know whatcha think, and whether you think theres anything that can be done to fix it.
This is a super long entry, but what else is there to do at 4:30 when you're not sleeping and are trying to take as long of a study break as possible?? Exactly...not a lot.
I've been feeling very stagnant lately. Most likely because this week has been one from hell and i've skipped many, if not all, of my quiet times for the sake of studying. You shouldn't do that. Its one of those things where i know i need to do it, and i keep putting it off and off until all i want to do is sleep, and i say i'll do it in the morning etc. etc. and the pattern continues....there's definitely a difference in how your week will go when you have it versus when you dont. I really wish deep in my heart that i had a burning desire for The Word like Sarah does. Not that I don't enjoy it and love it, because i do, but its sometimes hard for me to consistently do it, partly because i dont much like to read much of anything ever, but dude, its His love letter to ME....if a boy wrote me a love letter do you think i'd let it sit a few days before i read it?? Heck no. Thank you Jesus for speaking to me even when i'm writing in my journal....incredible. Anyways, part of it is probably because i get frustrated when i don't understand things, and theres lots of the Old Testament that i just dont understand - most likely because i dont dig into it enough and learn the histories of it etc....but for reals i need to be consistent with this - how on earth am i supposed to lead and be an example to my freshman when I don't even open His word and dig deep into it every day? SICK! Life is hectic -- who the heck am I to tell God that I'm too busy for him. LAME LAME LAME!!! Ugh...anyone wanna hold me accountable because that would be super!
Okay, for real thats all. I'm a fan of you if you leave me a comment, and i know you all want me to be in your fan club. So leave a comment....NOW!