WHATEVER!!!!
I'm soo bored right now. i went to work, but Carrey (Manager) didn't put me on the schedule!!! He could die!! Soooo....yeah. I don't know what to do!!! i'm hearing this kool CD that Mel let me borrow.....it's sooooooo kool, i think it's ska! I feel sooo weird now because of recent things that have happened, it's all good though, i'll forget about them in a while....hopefully!!! Oh and I'm sorry Lauren for not being able to do what we were suppose to do yesterday, but i had practice. sorry!!! next time!! Let's see...what else???? oh yeah, i'm going to start playing on this team in Santa Monica... I think their name is Santa Monica United Strikers...pretty long name!!!! Well it's ok i guess. Well i'm going to their first practice tomorrow....i hope i don't suck!!!! Cuz i have been playing like shit lately...it's like...either i feel weird or i just can't concentrate. Like lately i have been either feeling sick, or dizzy, or something hurts.....i have no idea why??? i think i'm dying. I think i was bitten by a mosquito and now i'm dying!!! It's ok though, I came into this world alone, I might as well die alone!! *tear* I also feel like i can't amount to anything. It's like i want to be the best at something, but i can't bacause i'm not good enough. I want to increase the capabilities in myself, but i don't know how!!! I want to to be the best defense, but i can't. I want to be the best violist, but i can't. I want to be the best piano player, but i can't. I WANT TO BE THE BEST AT SOMETHING!!!!! but no matter what, i will always have comepetition for whatever i want, and there will always be someone getting in my way from reaching what i want to reach!!!