Don't whiz on the electric fence
I had a series of weird dreams last night, but they were all connected, too. I had this treehouse as a kid and we would go up there and light candles (until we got electricity, yes, I had the fanciest treehouse in the whole neighborhood). But anyways, the dream took place int he treehouse, and I had a mirror and a shelf and lots of candles, and every time I put a lit candle on the shelf, a ghost of a person would come out and show me a significant event in their life. I don't remember many.
The most vivid one was about a little girl, about nine years old. She and her friends were swimming in a backyard swimming pool, the kind that's sort of flimsy and about 3 feet deep, with the little plastic ladder..but they were just swimming and having fun when all of a sudden they heard gunshots and yelling from across the fence, and this man comes running and jumps over the fence with a gun in his hand, firing it in all directions. It's one of the girls' stepfathers, or some male relation like that, and the girls try to get out of the pool as fast as they can, forgetting the ladder and just knocking down one of the sides, spilling the water out quickly and soaking the lawn. Three of the girls run to the other side of the fence and just huddle together but the girl who is related to the man is far more afraid and is too scared to run, but she manages to make her way up under the side of the pool, into the muddy grass. The man keeps shooting the gun and walks up to the girl hiding under the pool, and places one foot on one side of her head and one foot on the other side. Then he starts shooting holes in the pool above her head. He doesn't hit her, he just scares the shit out of everyone there, toying with them for some reason, and then he runs out of bullets and that was the end of that scene from the girl's life.
I remember a few others, too. Two were about these men that tried acid. One tried it and saw himself in a mirror and was so disturbed by what he saw that he broke the mirror into pieces and cut himself up with it, and then he bled to death on the bathroom floor. The other man had only tried mushrooms and thought that acid, being a hallucinogen, would be a similar experience, so he went up to this canyon and sat on a giant rock that was by a steep hill and a drainage pipe that had water coming out of it. He ended up freaking out and falling down the hill, which was very rocky, and he died in the drainage ditch in the bottom. (Let that be a lesson to you, I suppose.)
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I started work at burger king today. I'm going to be working full time, and they said they were going to put me primarily on money, which I guess means I have to do a lot of counting and adding and whatnot. Oh, what a terrible job for me! Today I just filled out paperwork, read the entire manual, and watched these boring common sense videos. (What President Reagan's 10 year old suit has to do with hamburger making, I will never quite understand.) Some of them were kind of funny, though, so it was not all in vain. They had a scene where a girl was carrying lots of straws and she tripped and fell and straws went everywhere, and she just laid in the straw pile with her eyes open and not moving, and I was like, why didn't the clumsy bitch just get up and oh, I don't know, pick up the straws she spilled? Nah, she just laid there looking all like, 'Whoops, I fell down, guess I'll just lay here now and look like the goddamned straw-dropping idiot that I am." That was kind of funny. Other than that, it was just common sense. The safety video was the absolute best.
Here are some of the super important skills I learned from it:
-If an electrical wire appears unsafe, do not attempt to touch it. This may result in electrocution.
-Do not put out grease fires with water.
-In the event of an emergency, call 911.
-Do not let strangers in the back door after dark.
-If someone has a gun, do not argue with their demands.
This reminds me of something. I mean, maybe I'm mistaken, but I think Smokey the Bear told me this already, and possibly McGruff the crime dog.
The most vivid one was about a little girl, about nine years old. She and her friends were swimming in a backyard swimming pool, the kind that's sort of flimsy and about 3 feet deep, with the little plastic ladder..but they were just swimming and having fun when all of a sudden they heard gunshots and yelling from across the fence, and this man comes running and jumps over the fence with a gun in his hand, firing it in all directions. It's one of the girls' stepfathers, or some male relation like that, and the girls try to get out of the pool as fast as they can, forgetting the ladder and just knocking down one of the sides, spilling the water out quickly and soaking the lawn. Three of the girls run to the other side of the fence and just huddle together but the girl who is related to the man is far more afraid and is too scared to run, but she manages to make her way up under the side of the pool, into the muddy grass. The man keeps shooting the gun and walks up to the girl hiding under the pool, and places one foot on one side of her head and one foot on the other side. Then he starts shooting holes in the pool above her head. He doesn't hit her, he just scares the shit out of everyone there, toying with them for some reason, and then he runs out of bullets and that was the end of that scene from the girl's life.
I remember a few others, too. Two were about these men that tried acid. One tried it and saw himself in a mirror and was so disturbed by what he saw that he broke the mirror into pieces and cut himself up with it, and then he bled to death on the bathroom floor. The other man had only tried mushrooms and thought that acid, being a hallucinogen, would be a similar experience, so he went up to this canyon and sat on a giant rock that was by a steep hill and a drainage pipe that had water coming out of it. He ended up freaking out and falling down the hill, which was very rocky, and he died in the drainage ditch in the bottom. (Let that be a lesson to you, I suppose.)
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I started work at burger king today. I'm going to be working full time, and they said they were going to put me primarily on money, which I guess means I have to do a lot of counting and adding and whatnot. Oh, what a terrible job for me! Today I just filled out paperwork, read the entire manual, and watched these boring common sense videos. (What President Reagan's 10 year old suit has to do with hamburger making, I will never quite understand.) Some of them were kind of funny, though, so it was not all in vain. They had a scene where a girl was carrying lots of straws and she tripped and fell and straws went everywhere, and she just laid in the straw pile with her eyes open and not moving, and I was like, why didn't the clumsy bitch just get up and oh, I don't know, pick up the straws she spilled? Nah, she just laid there looking all like, 'Whoops, I fell down, guess I'll just lay here now and look like the goddamned straw-dropping idiot that I am." That was kind of funny. Other than that, it was just common sense. The safety video was the absolute best.
Here are some of the super important skills I learned from it:
-If an electrical wire appears unsafe, do not attempt to touch it. This may result in electrocution.
-Do not put out grease fires with water.
-In the event of an emergency, call 911.
-Do not let strangers in the back door after dark.
-If someone has a gun, do not argue with their demands.
This reminds me of something. I mean, maybe I'm mistaken, but I think Smokey the Bear told me this already, and possibly McGruff the crime dog.